The Adultery of John
by I am M.J
Summary: I had never planned to lie to my wife, neither had I planned to be a cheat. And this girl...I'm not even sure she's worth it, hell...I am not sure to even love her. Yet, every night I come knocking at her door;desperately.
1. Chapter 1

**Moving In**

"Guys be careful with that!" Gage shouted as she wiped some sweat off her forehead.

"We're trying Miss. Jansen!" Mike; one of the movers replied as they continued to carry the heavy cartons.

"Trying is not enough! These vases cost as much as your lives all put together, do you hear me?" She continued, ticking out the carton from her list of things to move as she heard a bumping sound into the house.

"Urgh, incompetents!" she sighed.

She looked around; the sun in this region of Tampa was unbearable. Of all the places she'd been, the sun had never been so bitter. The rays seemed to be swords that landed directly on her skin.

She took out one of her tanning creams and rubbed some of it slightly on her forearms.

"Maybe if you didn't shout at them, they'd work better." A manly voice said behind her.

"Excuse me!" she turned, raising one of her eyebrows at the man in front of her.

"Well, I just thought that maybe if you-'

"Wait, correct me if I'm wrong but why would I listen to some body builder, surely high on steroids who appears to be a neighbour?" Gage stated, giving a fake questioning look to the man.

"Okay…First am not a body builder, I am a wres'

"Awesome! Now why don't you get back to your…" she waved away, then pushing some of her hair back and turning back to her list.

"Would it hurt to show some respect?"

Gage sighed, finally turning her attention to the man. Taking the time to study him. Through her black wayfarers, she could discern his silhouette and an appealing physique.

The man was dressed in a simple white tank top, so tiny his muscles showed outrageously, large jean shorts and a pair of black sneakers.

She smiled innocently at the man, taking off her glasses to adjust her vision.

"What?" she asked, opening her arms out at the man.

"Hum…'

"You must be here for a reason right? So what do you want?" she persisted.

"I do not want anything! I just thought you should treat your movers a little better!" he replied, apparently astonished.

"Ooh, I see." She answered, his opinion not fazing her for a second.

"You know what? Never mind." he said, giving up.

"I was planning on doing just that!"

Gage turned back to what she was doing as the man mumbled things under his breath and headed back to his own house. She turned one last time and observed him, all in all amused by his pathetic attempt to sympathise.

She had to admit, he was a very beautiful man. The kind of species you couldn't find where she lived. She'd never been a huge fan of muscles; but his were just perfect on him.

Her head snapped when she heard another noise; like glass breaking in the house.

"Oh no they didn't!" she hissed, putting her paper down and heading back into the house immediately.

0°…°0

"Land' O lakes! Home of nice neighbours…my ass!" I hissed as he closed the front door behind him.

"Bitch called me a body builder!"

"Baby, are you okay?" Liz asked, as she walked down the stairs. She wore nothing but a large wife beater and a pair of black boxers.

"Well hello beautiful!" I chuckled as he watched her yawn.

"Hello handsome! What was that about?" she added, putting her arms around my neck. Even after eight years of marriage together, she seemed to stay the same Liz.

"The new neighbour." I answered, holding her by the middle and pecking her lips.

"Let's say, she's not as nice as you thought she would be." I continued.

"Really? Too bad I wanted to invite her to dinner some time." She said, a pout showing on her face.

"Yeah, too bad." I pointed.

Liz was that kind of woman. The type who would invite you for dinner to welcome you in your new neighbourhood, she was a caring friend, a faithful and devoted wife and maybe some day; a wonderful mother.

"But…we can still invite her and see if you two can get along a little better." She pleaded, giving me her famous puppy dog eye look.

"Lizzie…" I sighed.

"Please…I don't know anyone around here, and it'd be good to have a friend when you're on the road."

"I understand, but…' I drifted off. There was something about that woman that didn't seem right. They say the first impression mattered right; well mine was a bad one. For some reason, I couldn't picture my wife being friends with that woman, as a matter of fact; I don't think she wants to be friends to anyone.

But this was about Liz and not me. Most of the time, I'm on the road and she has to stay here alone most of the time.

"Fine, you can invite her."

"Thank you baby!" she squealed.

" What wouldn't I do for my Lizzie?"

"I love you." Liz said, as she tip toed to me and kissed me again.

"I love you too." I answered, returning her kiss.

As she climbed up the stairs, I went to the Kitchen to pour myself some coffee. Looking through the window I saw the woman again.

Putting her notes down on one of the cartons, I watched her as she bent forward, her head upside down to hold her hair.

She wore small denim shorts, which offered a perfect view on her long legs. Her skin was very white, almost pale and the back of her neck had turned red, probably because of the sun.

She straightened her figure, her arms still trying to fix her hair. From where, I stood there was a dark spot down her armpits; something like a tattoo or a birth mark. Her tank top was so loose, her black bra showed completely to the side. Her shorts were outrageously small and she seemed perfectly comfortable.

Putting down my cup, I continued to watch her as she walked to her front door. As she walked, she swayed her hips from side to side; in a seductive or better yet boastful manner.

Finally, she turned into my direction. Her eyes seemed to be looking into my direction, like she was looking at me. But that was impossible, from where she was she couldn't.

It was obvious I didn't like her at all. Despite the fact that she was completely impolite, rude and over her head, there was something about her that screamed bad. She looked like one of those girls you'd never introduce your parents to; scared she would make advances to your Dad or something.

I didn't even know her, I already knew I didn't want her here and even less around Liz.

She was trouble.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter II**

It had now been a week, three days, and twenty hours Gage had arrived in this unknown land. The place seemed cosy enough; mostly because it was a residential area. She'd finished moving in all of her stuff, and she stood in the living room to contemplate the fruits of her labour.

For an artist like her, perfection was the dominant word in her vocabulary. The walls of the entire house were painted of an immaculate white. Two white cotton couches placed parallel to each other decorated the main room, as well as the simple black carpet underneath them. Between the couches, a simple wooden coffee table on which she'd displayed some of her favourite books. The parquet floor perfectly matched the fancy painting she'd hung on the wall.

She stood in front of it, her hands on her waist and smiled at the masterpiece. It was something that looked like an eye, but at the level of the pupils, several colours were paraded. The most prevalent colour was green; she loved green.

She made a slight trip round the house, touching the freshly painted cupboards and climbing the stairs. Gage had wanted to have a home like this all her life. Fortunately, she'd made good money from her paintings. Even though she didn't know why so many people liked them, she knew she had enough to earn a decent living. Opening the door to her bedroom, what immediately caught her eye was the huge painting of her that faced the door of the room. Once again she smiled at the abundant talent the artist had shown on the painting.

It was very Marilyn Monroe- like; her eyes looked in a sideway direction, and her lips were pulled into a slight grin. What made the beauty of the picture was the Black over white effect, Juan had put over it. Juan was a Spanish artist, as tall as a giant; he had short black silky hair, and piercing grey eyes. They'd met at his exhibition. He had also been the first man to tell her she was beautiful…the first man to do a lot of things as a matter of fact.

For once in her life, she'd actually believed it when a man had said she was beautiful.

It hadn't just been a casual pick up line, or a simple compliment to flatter her ego. She had been his inspiration; his drive. She knew no feeling that could equal that sensation when a person sees so much more in you that would an average person.

Juan had thought her not only to see people through her own eyes, but also through God's. Following his lead, she discovered the art of painting and fell in love with it immediately.

From there, she'd excelled in the art, and she would forever be grateful to him. Their story didn't resist that long though; Juan was married and he loved his wife. She knew it, because she'd been a witness of all the love he lavished upon her. So, slowly but surely she moved out of his life; without asking for the money of her change, she packed and left.

There were days she missed him; days she needed him to help her thrash a single colour on her canvas. It saved her the trouble to think she was heartless when she told herself she had loved him. But deep down; she knew she hadn't been in love.

She'd just been impressed, amazed; euphoric in front of all the talent and manliness he possessed. But looking at her situation keenly, of all the men she'd known, Juan was the one who'd made the biggest mark. The others had just been annoying chumps who bored the hell out of her, with all their pampering, their flowers, their gifts and expensive jewelleries.

Romance had never been her thing; she looked beyond that, beyond the sparks and the dash. She searched their eyes to see if the sight of her ignited whatsoever fire in them, but nothing.

None.

Gage had even wondered if women would be the ideal for her; but then again at that very moment a man would appear in her life and push all lesbian thought out of her head.

"That's pretty nice."

Gage jumped, her head spinning towards the door.

"What are you doing here?" she asked furious. It was that body builder again…

"I saw the door was opened; thought someone had broken in." he said. She couldn't believe the nerve of this man; did he always have to mind other people's business?

"Well, as you can see the only intruder in here is you!"

"I actually hoped to receive a nicer reaction, but well…' he shrugged.

"A nicer reaction…huh?" she crossed her arms over her chest and nodded questioningly.

"Do you always do that?" Gage asked.

"Do what?" His voice was powerful, almost frightening.

"Put your nose into everyone's business."

He sighed again. This time, he rubbed his temple then put his hand on the back of his neck. God, his arm was huge. He could knock the life out of her in a second.

"Listen, I think you and I have started out quite badly. I wanted to apologize for that."

Apologize? Why did he want to apologize? All he'd done was try to inculcate some graciousness into her, and as always she'd taken the defensive side. Gage knew the type of person she was; the type of person who reacted badly to criticism, she did not give a damn about what anyone thought. Life was too short to waste your time in such futile details, such as friendship or marriage.

"Keep going."

"The other day, it was none of my business; and I was hoping we could go onto better basis." He finished. Gage continued to look at him, but inside she was wide-mouthed.

She knew everything had been her fault; as always. But never did she think, he'd think the opposite. Finally, she might actually enjoy herself here.

"I accept your apologies…' she stated firmly as she waited for him to introduce himself. She couldn't believe she didn't even know his name yet.

"John; John Cena." He said, stretching out his hand as she took it. She looked down at their intertwined hands and was amazed by how petite hers looked into his massive one.

"Gage Jansen."

"Gage; are you the one who did this?" he said, his gaze turning towards the gigantic face on the wall.

"No; I had an artist do it for me." She answered, turning her back to the man; to John.

"It's incredible, must've cost a lot."

"Actually; it didn't." she said, turning to John a little smile creeping to her lips.

"Let's say, the artist and I found a good compromise."

_Slut!_

I did not really care if she deserved it, but there was just something so nasty and vicious in the way she said it. I could even hear the gratification in her voice; compromise…sure.

I thought she'd at least have the decency to apologize as well, but seems like the word isn't part of the girl's vocabulary. Her house is quite amazing though; every article screamed expensive and exquisite. She sure must be one of those daddy's girls; who get all they want by beating down their lashes or pulling out a puppy dog look.

Pathetic.

Liz had finally kept on that idea of inviting her for dinner. She already had me apologize to her; it's not like I was gonna ask her too…no; that would just be too much. I was in the backyard, getting the barbecue started when a happy Liz walked over me and said;

"Guess what honey!" she jumped on my back. I was glad every time she did that, because, for what is was worth; I loved to have a smile on her face.

"You finally gained some inches?" I put her down. Lizzie always hates it when I comment on her height. She even threatened to fill in for divorce the next time I'll do it.

" .ha. Keep going baby, my attorney is waiting."

"C'mon babe, that's kind of _low_" I said putting my hand on top of her head.

"Johnny!"

"Fine."

"Good! She said yes!" her smile coming back to her face.

"Who said yes to what?"

"The neighbour! Remember I wanted to ask her to come for dinner right?"

_Dammit!_

"Huh; yeah I remember."

"Well, her name is Gage actually!" she said excitedly.

_Like I didn't know…_

"She's a painter, and she let me see some of the things she does. It's amazing!" she squealed like a little girl. Liz was always so adamant when it came to getting what she wanted…she was persistent.

"Oh! That's…good?" I shrugged; I wasn't going to pretend to be all happy about her new friendship.

"Listen, Johnny; all I'm asking you to do is to open the door when she gets in and smile once in a while." Her little frame came right in front of me, and she did that thing again.

"For me…please."

There was something about those words that always made me swoon for Liz. She was such a great person; anything she asked for, I knew she deserved it.

"Sure." I smiled.

"You're the best! Plus, I was going to think you had a crush on her or something!" she laughed.

"Oh, yeah! And Vince McMahon is the president of the United States!"

"I'm gonna get something done before she comes okay?"

"Try not to burn the whole house this time." I laughed, watching her retrieving figure. I saw her flung the door open and jumping in excitedly; she really was enthusiastic about meeting Gage.

It was lovely to see like that; but it hurt me still. The last thing I had wanted was to give her the feeling she was alone. Liz wanted a stable life, a family, two kids who'd wake us up in the morning, jumping on our beds.

Unfortunately, she had to sacrifice all that for me. Maybe not all of it; but the most part, but as long as she kept on with me, I was grateful for everything she did.

_Ding! Dong!_

"John! …' Liz yelled from the bathroom.

"I got it!"

I rose from my comfortable couch and went to open the door. It was eight O'clock, and it couldn't have been anybody else. It had to be her. Shit.

The distance between the living room and the room appeared to be miles as I reached it. I put my hand on the door knob and sighed. Why did it get me so nervous? It wasn't some woman who would put me in such position of inferiority!

I was John Cena dammit!

"John." She greeted, a half smile on her red plumb lips.

"Gage." I shrugged. I pushed myself out of the way to let her in. That is only when I noticed her dressing. She wore a tight fitting white-sleeved dress; it ended a little above the knees of her long, white legs, and nude pumps at her feet. She wore a simple golden-chained necklace around her neck, and her ginger hair was neatly brushed into a tight bun.

As she walked passed me, her scent immediately intoxicated the entire room. The aroma tracked all the way up to my nostrils; it was a piquant and spicy. Almost like cayenne pepper.

I closed the door, and scrutinised her outfit a little more; any other woman could've wore this dress without making it look abnormal. But her; Gage, she wore it, but she still looked like she had nothing on.

"Where's your wife? I mean; Liz." she quickly spun around. I took my eyes off her quickly before she noticed I'd been looking at her.

"Huh; she's in the bathroom. She'll be down in a second. Have a sit." I gestured, walking her over to the couch.

I sat on the couch opposite of her; the more distance I kept with this woman, the more chances I had to stay alive. I pretended to watch the lottery draw on TV as we waited for Liz.

"Nice house."

"Thanks."

I tried to keep my eyes on the TV set in front of me, but as she spoke, my gaze crossed hers. It was only then I noticed she had grey eyes. Grey and Ginger; quite a weird mix.

It suited her though. I wanted to tell her but something told me to refrain myself from any sort of contact with her. Inadvertently, I turned my head as she crossed her legs.

Her right leg moving to the top of the other one, she leaned even more into her seat and crossed her arms over her chest. She gave me a Brie Van De Camp kind of vibe, with her accented ginger hair, and her pale skin.

I was relieved when I heard the shower had stopped running and a fresh looking Liz walked down the stairs. We both stood up as she did.

This was going to be a very, very long night.


	3. Chapter 3

**White Birds**

"_And is there a man in your life Gage?" Liz asked while she displayed desert on the table._

"_Hmm; am not sure! There's quite a lot of men in my life actually!" Gage laughed. I looked up at Liz at that moment, and saw that look of snobbery she gave Gage…who was slowly emptying the glass of wine in her hands._

"_I see…and are you engaged to any?" Liz continued. She said it with such pretentiousness; it almost made me uncomfortable._

"_No! For now; I'm very fine with my single status. A relationship implies way too much dependency. "_

"_Your opinion…"_

"_I'm not depending on anyone since I was sixteen! So I kind of wonder why I'd start now you, not that I disregard marriage or whatsoever."_

"_Sixteen?" Liz questioned, and Gage nodded._

"_My parents weren't rich, and when I got to high school they barely had enough to afford it. The situation wasn't getting any better so I had to drop out."_

_I almost choked on the coffee I was sipping as I listened to her. I'd judged her falsely when I saw her. She wasn't a ; steal your money kind of whores or some sort of daddy's girl apparently. Not at all._

"_And how did you get yourself out of that?" I hadn't realized I'd said it out loud until both ladies turned to look at me. Both expressions were different as they fixed me intently. Liz had a concerned look; surely wondering why I was suddenly interesting in our new neighbour. _

_Gage's stare was more intriguing; complemented with a small side grin before she finally answered my question. Tension released from me when she stopped eyeing me from the other end of the table._

"_Well; at the time, I was let's say…unstable!" she laughed a little. She had a pretty smile when she actually let herself smile._

"_But, I met someone who made me discover this art; painting. It took some time, but he taught me everything I needed to learn… and much more. " _

_And it came back again; that look full of desire; that little glint of perversion she'd had the last time we'd talked. Whoever that man was; whatever he did to her, one thing was sure; it was memorable. Every time she would mention him; something clicked in her and her facial expression made a drastic change._

"…_I started selling out paintings and it seems a lot of people thought I had a lot of talent and…'_

_At that moment, she turned to look towards me, with her deep, fierce daggers, like she'd noticed I'd noticed…_

_I couldn't recall ever having a woman think of me; or behave in such a way because of me. Not before, or after making love to her. Pathetic…_

_My throat tightened a little when she glanced at me above her glass. Silence fell on the table; she was still starting at me; and for some reason I didn't want to look away. Her grey eyes pierced through me in a way that enthralled me ; as if she was trying to figure out what I was thinking_

"_Keep going." I said to break her stare a little._

"_More people started got interested in them; the prices became more outrageous with every proposal and from there it took off."_

"_And today, you're a successful woman! Remarkable." Liz interjected; easing up the room a bit._

"_Whatever providential help I benefited from; I'm very grateful." She said, looking at Liz._

"_Enough said about me; what about you two?" she put her elbows on the table and scrunched her hands together._

"_Well; John works for a sports entertainment Industry. He's a wrestler." I could pretty much feel Liz's voice fill with pride and contentment. _

"_Oh yeah! I remember he'd told me that the first time we'd met." _

"_You mean how I tried to tell you that!" I joked, and she laughed again. _

"_John is very talented! And he's currently holding the championship belt of the federation." _

"_And that is…good?" I could feel Liz's ego being harshly ripped in front of Gage's lack of knowledge about my job. It was quite funny; but I restrained myself from laughing._

_Personally, I didn't mind one bit; it always felt good to meet people who didn't care who I was. _

"_And you Liz, what do you do as a living?" _

_Touché!_

"_Well…Most of the time, I stay home…but my sister holds a modelling agency not far from here. I back her up when she's absent."_

"_I see. Must be quite some fun." _

_It was unbearable to stay quiet in front of such an aberrant lie. Liz was a stay at home kind of woman. She'd barely handled the job of secretary she used to have back in Newby. _

"_Sports entertainment huh? Must be quite unrest as a job." She turned to me; and I tense up again. Liz picked up some of the dishes to display them in the sink._

"_Yes it is. We're on the road most days of the year and…" I said as she put her fork down, and took the last strawberry in her plate. Rubbing some cream on the tip, she put it in her mouth. I watched her teeth bite into the strawberry before her juicy lips sucked in the rest of it into her mouth. I wasn't supposed to; but I looked at her as she chewed, then suck the tip of one of her fingers._

_Too wrapped up in her licking, and sucking, she was completely oblivious I was still watching her._

"_Liz; you've got to give the recipe for your desert! It's delicious."_

"_Oh thanks! Do you like it John?" I heard her say eagerly from the kitchen. _

"_Yeah delicious baby." I would've been keener to say it; if she hadn't bought it at Danikara's on Wesley Chapel. _

"_Usually, I avoid cheesecakes, but these strawberries are wonderful. Give me the recipe sometime please." _

_I glanced over at Liz; noticing that puzzled expression. I smiled lightly. For some reason, Liz was obviously trying to impress Gage. _

"_Uh…yeah. Of course." Liz said._

"_So tell me John, you said you're on the road all year right?" She started; standing up with her dish and walking over to the sink with Liz._

"_Yeah."_

"_Then; what are you doing home?" _

"_Willing to see me leave already?" I looked up in their direction._

"_Not just yet if you want my opinion." She smiled in return. Maybe she wasn't that bad after all._

"_John is currently recovering from an injury. Dangers of the profession." Liz interrupted again._

"_A simple contusion; nothing big but I'd rather take my precautions." _

"_I might seem completely ignorant but; what is a contusion?"_

"_Well…'_

"_How surprising!" Liz stated sarcastically. I looked at Gage._

"_Well; they're some sort of muscle bruises; they happen by direct trauma; or repeated blow to a certain muscle."_

_Either she hadn't heard what Liz had said, either she really didn't give a fuck. She had her eyes on me the whole time as I talked to her. Her arms folded over her chest. _

"_Interesting." _

"Oow; that was so good baby!" Liz moaned while I moved between her legs. She'd been quite tensed after the dinner…I didn't try to know why, but I tried to comfort her the best I could.

I lay next to her in the sheets; darkness surrounding us completely. I looked to the side to see Liz had pulled the sheets over her body and was preparing to sleep.

My mind drifted over to Gage again; that look on her face every time she would mention that man. I wondered if anyone thought of me in such a way; if anyone would remember me with such precision.

I sat up on the edge of the bed and turned to Liz once more. She was my wife; she was in love with me. She knew everything about me; like no one else; and maybe some things I didn't know about myself. My family adored her, and the affection was more than returned. As years went by, I always thought she'd been the one for me. When we finally tied the knot, I was overwhelmed.

I still love her more every day; for everything she was and everything she wasn't. But…

Something plagued my mind. I always wondered what if things had been different, what if I hadn't met her. Where would I be with my life? Randy, Adam, Stephen and all the guys I hung out with were single and clearly comfortable with that situation. I can't count the times I can recall them counting their numerous night caps with women; one, two or even three at the time.

I wasn't that kind of man. Adam was a chump; he'd been with a woman he loved before and he'd fucked things up for a piece of ass. Randy, Stephen…all the same. I wasn't like them; I was happily married, and I had an amorous wife.

For me it was different; I knew Liz was always there and she always will now. I put my hands on my face for a second and walked out of the room silently. Getting into the living room, I noticed the room was filled with that odour on her; that sharply flavoured liquor. Pouring myself some coffee into a cup, I leaned against the sink, facing the window; the open window.

It was near one in the morning and the lights were still on in her living room I could see. Leaning closer, I wondered what she was doing at this time of the day.

_I could still go find out…_

No; that wouldn't sound good, that wouldn't even look good if Liz happened to know about me visiting a woman in the middle of the night.

Eventually, fatality was a bad companion. I barely had the time to blink that her front door opened. Pushing aside the little curtain on the window, I leaned even closer to see the woman on the other side of the road. Gage carried a big black garbage bag. Her bin was full already, so she surely walked up to the large bin at the crossroad. What a silly idea. She really was a stranger!

No reasonable person would venture himself in the streets of a residential area at this time of the night. Who knew what could happen to her within this short distance.

I hurried myself out; shutting the door quietly and walking up to her. Zipping up my hoodie, I put my hands in my pockets.

"Do you know it's dangerous to walk alone at night?" she jumped, turning as she saw me. I seem to have done that a lot lately.

"I've done a lot of dangerous things in my life already." She replied, straightening her figure. She wore grey pyjama pants with a tank top.

"Not a reason to push your luck too far; if you want my opinion." I said, taking the initiative to carry her garbage bag.

"And if I don't want your opinion?" she mused as we walked ahead. It was a cold night; how could she be wearing tanks out?

"I won't mind. It wouldn't be the first time after all."

"It's freezing; ain't you cold?"

"In Netherlands; it's minus five degrees on hot days."

"Wow!" I guess it explained why she looked so much like an ice cube.

"Mustn't have been easy. I mean; with all that happened to you…" I didn't know why I said that; like I had compassion for her; I could bet my life that was the last thing she wanted.

She turned and her wolf like glare shot me again.

"Just saying…it isn't easy to deal with…that."

"Life isn't easy." She replied dryly and I tensed again. I felt like an idiot saying that; of course it wasn't easy. What the hell was I thinking?

"It's not like I'd had to strip or pimp myself out you know. Just two, three jobs at the time." She joked.

"What kind of jobs?" We reached the big dustbin, she opened it for me and I threw the garbage bag in it.

"Well, I worked as a maid, a waitress, then as a nude model for some artists. Anything that didn't require a diploma, I surely did it." She laughed.

"Nude…model?" I questioned.

"Yeah, it was by far the easiest job I ever had. All I had to do was lay there, the artists were friendly and it paid well. I had to stop though…' suddenly she looked down at the ground.

"Why is that?"

With every question, I tried my best to sink deeper into her head. Trying to figure out the woman she really was.

"I came across something much more interesting." I noticed that look was back again. I had chills all over my back; for a second I wished it were the cold wind that had just blown through me. Unfortunately, it wasn't.

"Love? A man?" I didn't want to push my luck too far. I'd already gotten enough information to feed my curiosity for a while. But, there was something about that person that haunted her features; I needed to figure out.

"What makes you think that?"

"Call it instincts." I grinned at her.

"Well; not just a man…a married man."

"Ow."

A slight shudder ran through me. What was she? Another one of those heartbroken girls who'd thought the guy would actually _leave_ his wife? Or was she a dirty mistress who got too caught up in the game, or just a dirty mistress.

From then, the conversation took another turn. Gage didn't say anything else about that man. Though I was more than ready to listen to whatever absurd story she had a store. I also learned much more about her. She'd stolen, she'd lied, and she'd got detained numerous times. She'd also slept with a lot of men; that I figure it out myself.

Clearly; she'd said it herself, she wasn't a very trustworthy person. All the things that I stood for and tried my best to represent on TV, she'd done the exact opposite. I walked her back to her door and she'd kissed my jaw to thank me. My heart pounded slightly to the contact of her icy skin. I went back to bed, next to Liz; next to my wife. That was where I was supposed to be, so I went to sleep holding her tight in my arms.

Gage went to her basement. She'd felt a sudden urge to paint. Going dinner with the Cenas was a bad idea; a very bad one as a matter of fact. Liz was nice, sweet and surely the best wife a man could dream of, and John…She shouldn't have exposed her life like that. After all she knew these people since a week or so. The last thing she needed was to play all friendly with people. To start greeting them with a wide fake smile; wave at them at the supermarket or invite them for a brunch. Bullshit…

She picked up her phone on the coffee table and dialled a familiar phone number. She put her phone against her ears, and waited as it rang. Her breath stayed stuck in her throat, as she grew anxious with every second. Before anyone could pick up, she shut it back and threw it on the couch.

She didn't need to do this; she didn't need to hear his voice again. Juan was married, and he loved his wife. She had nothing to do in his life again; she'd come and gone, just the way a simple lover should have. She walked around her house in the dim light a little and thought back of John for about the tenth time after they'd parted ways.

He was a fine-looking man, very much; too much. From the second she'd seen him with Liz, she'd figured out what kind of man he was. Full of ethics, and good will; not her type at all…

He wasn't a migratory bird like her. No, John reminded her of those majestic white fulmar birds; with their all white covered feathers. They flew gracefully along lakes and wide water bodies. To her, they were the most beautiful; slick and pure in the wind.

Suddenly, Gage grabbed her oil paint, along with the rest of her painting material and headed downstairs. There she looked for an immaculate white wall.

She grabbed her paintbrush excitedly, and dipped it into the black liquid. She loved it when inspiration flooded into her mind with such a rush. She looked at the clock; it was two in the morning. It might take a three to four hours for the painting to be over. She was exhausted; but she might not sleep if she didn't get it done. So she started painting.

Birds…


	4. Chapter 4

**Rainy day Parades**

Why did rainy days always made us feel so sad?

It rained from morning to late afternoon, so obviously the air got colder, grey clouds covered the entire surface of the usually beautiful sky. People deserted the streets as fast as they could. The cold wind blowing through the open windows made a slow whistling sound as it hit the walls of empty houses.

Rainy days were definitely the worst days in Gage's life. She adored the feel of the hot summer sun over her skin; even though she couldn't go a mile without tanning cream. That was the reason she'd come to live in Florida. It was a big vibrant state; known for it's fun and social stability. But as she looked through the glass, Land O' Lakes looked just like the desolate streets of Amsterdam.

She sighed, walking away from the glass doors that lead to the patio. A cup of tea in her hands, she comfortably wrapped her fingers around it. She hadn't come out of her house on any occasion since three or four days maybe even five.

She walked around her house for about the tenth time of the day. Walking towards the steps, she'd finally made up her mind to get some more sleep. After all, it's not like she was loosing anything. On her way, she stopped in front of her most recent painting. It was a big white fulmar bird in flight. She smiled in front of it for the first time of the day. She wasn't a cocky one, but she particularly excelled in this painting.

One of those rare things in her life that kept a smile on her face.

She looked back at her living room while she went for the stairs. It was mournfully empty. She had a hollow feeling in her chest; the one she'd have whenever she'd wake up to an empty bed or come back home and find all the lights off.

Gage Jansen hated rainy days; they reminded her of her reality. They reminded her that she was alone…and that it would always be the same.

She jumped when the doorbell rang; adjusting the long white button down pull over that covered her entire body. Who could possibly visit her? She opened the door and moved a step back. Her eyes widened a little, and her stomach tore. It was strange but she loved the way she felt around this man; she knew that feeling a little too well for her liking. Never did she want history to repeat itself but for now, there he was, standing all wet on her porch and she could feel all the wrong was becoming right.

"Mind if I crash in?"

She shook her head, and moved to let him in.

"Did Liz throw you out or something?"

"Ha-ha. Clever. She's gone for the day and I…don't have the keys to the house."

Gage observed him as his hand rose to scratch the back of his head. She raised a questioning eyebrow as he moved towards the living room boastfully.

"You don't have the keys to _your_ house." She stated drily looking at him and he turned and nodded.

"I'm on the road most part of the year so…It didn't seem necessary." He was about to sit down when she stopped him in his tracks, raising her hand to object.

"Wait!"

"Take your shirt off."

"What?"

"Take your shirt off John!"

"Look, Gage I -'

"I don't mean it like _that_!"

" Save it! I just don't want you to wet my couch. It takes weeks to get rid of the smell!" she mentioned, closing her eyes and rubbing her temple.

"Okay! Sorry Miss Jansen." He stood. She watched him as he undid one after the other the buttons of his wet shirt. It was quite an uncomfortable situation she was putting herself in once again. Considering her…comportment when it came to men.

…When it came to the type of men that John was.

She was no different than those hot-blooded males who sensed sex a mile round.

She chewed her inner lip as John undid the last button. He then let it fall to his forearms; letting the soggy material slide down his colossal muscles. He was big. She noticed it at the first glance at him, but face-to-face it looked more real. She tried hard not to make it look like she wasn't blatantly checking him out.

Hell who wouldn't? It's not every day she got to see such quality male specimen.

Inside, she sighed "Those Americans…"

"Here." He said, handing her his shirt. She took it; putting on the most collected look she could. For a second she felt her fingers brush over his. It lasted around half a second, or maybe less but his fingers were surprisingly very temperate for someone who was soaking from head to toe.

"I'll go get you a towel." She turned away.

"And something to put on too." Gage turned to stare at him.

"Please." He sat on the couch, folding his hands behind his head. Gage took one last glance at him before climbing the stares.

He had a beautiful chest; it was perfect. From the way his ribs showed slightly to the side, to his compacted abs, and that cute little belly button. She was positive what went lower down looked just as picturesque.

"Evil thoughts Gage!" she pursed her eyes as she searched the closet for something wearable. Underneath a worn out cloth, she saw a familiar looking black material.

Her mind immediately flashbacked to memories she'd wanted to die down for a long time now. It was a simple black long t-shirt. She brought it to her nose to inhale the exquisite familiar cologne that had lingered in the material for ages. A strange sensation rose within her; she felt cold again. She never knew she'd ever had that shirt; he might've left it at her apartment…on one of his visits.

She brought it to her chest. She never did such things. But as it rested against her chest, she felt like a piece of Juan was not miles away from her, enjoying the company of his wife and his little baby boy. It actually comforted her for the while it lasted.

"That's quite some time for a towel." She turned immediately.

"Are you okay? You look like you just ran into a ghost." He leaned against the doorframe. Shirtless.

_The nerve of this man!_

"I'm perfectly fine! You were supposed to wait downstairs."

"You were taking too long! And I don't know if you've seen but I'm soaking."

"What fucking ever!" she sighed letting her arms fall.

"But thanks that'll be fine I guess!" he said, literally snashing the material out of her hands.

"But it's not-'

She cut off as he threw it above his head and put it on. She remembered how loose it looked on Juan; he'd never been some muscle fanatic. On John it was rather form fitting.

"Thanks, what do you do with men's stuff?"

"I keep 'em just in case it might help my annoying neighbour. You know the one with the real big head." She smiled coldly.

"Yeah right."

"Do you…ah… want to drink anything?"

"Some coffee will be fine!"

I looked across the room, and I saw her pouring some coffee into a cup, and white liquor into a glass.

"What's that?"

"Vodka." She smiled.

"Brand?"

"Russian, not the cut out shit you serve here."

I laughed a little at her comment. Silence fell for a moment as she handed me some coffee. Immediately, she took the smaller glass and sipped in all of it's content. She shook her head lightly; her hair spilling all over her shoulders and smiled at me.

"Want some?" she asked, her hair a little messy, and a small smile in the corner of her lips.

"Yeah."

"Here. Go slow, it's not for little boys." She handed me the glass, and smiled again.

_Little boy? Me? _

Who was she kidding? I was nowhere near little! I was a grown man for fuck sakes! I sipped in at once, just like she had before. The cold alcohols streamed down my neck in a rash. It turned warm as it reached my throat, then burning as it came to my chest. I felt a slight pressure then I choked on it, and then coughed a little.

"Told you to go slow. Americans…" Gage laughed. I wanted to reply but I couldn't stop coughing.

"C'mon, drink some water. It'll pass." I could hear her laugh behind me, while I was coughed.

"I thought you were some big tough guy or something." I took the glass she was offering me and drank immediately.

"I am some big tough guy!"

"Well didn't seem like it." She laughed again. I frowned. She turned to leave, the bottle in her hand and a glass in the other.

"Do you seriously intend to drink all of that?"

"There are no thousand things we can do with a vodka…"

"Blotto"

"I heard that; and as long as you're under my roof, I suggest you keep it low with the insults."

She sat down on the couch and crossed her legs over the coffee table and leaned back.

She had a point. Silence came back again. It was so uncomfortable staying silent with her in the same room. I refrained myself from saying what I wanted to say and somehow it was weighing on my chest.

"Are you just gonna stand over there or you're gonna join me?"

"I wouldn't mind some company." She added.

I sat on the couch next to her; next to Gage. Her name tended to vanish to the back of my mind, and she would just be the red headed girl living across the road.

"So you wrestle!" she said still leaning back.

"Correct."

Silence.

"And you…paint!"

"Correct."

She must've swallowed her fifth glass at that time.

"So I guess you is some big star here."

"I'd say that, but the WWE also extends to a lot of other countries as well."

"Huh huh! And by the size of your garage, I see it pays more than just the bills."

"Yeah, it's got great advantages. But you seem to be doing great with your job as well."

"Oh well; I just do that for the bills." She giggled

I laughed.

"Only thing I was good at so, I jumped the occasion, artists are all debauches. If I could do anything else I would've switched a while ago. "

"Nothing stands in your way." She turned to look at me. Her nose was slightly red at the tip. She was nearly drunk.

"It's more complicated than that." She shrugged.

"Women always say that."

"I'm not just any _woman_."

Her eyes were drowsy and her insipid skin was almost glowing. I could feel her stare all over me, and it was getting me uncomfortable; very uncomfortable. I didn't dare look at her, thinking it might get worse.

"You still haven't told me where you got the shirt."

"Does it really matter?"

"You tell me."

"No it doesn't."

"Talk about one complicated one." She glanced at me.

"Remind me how old are you?" she asked.

"Thirty- five. You?"

"Twenty five."

"Wow! You're…young."

"No I'm not; you're the one who is old." Our conversations lead on to another one, then another one. I asked her about her life in Amsterdam; she answered a few questions, but left the majority one-sided. But it didn't matter; I was determined to find more about her anyways.

"Seventeen and forty. How about that?"

"What you mean?"

"Some girl I knew in Amsterdam, her mother caught her in the act with their forty year old neighbour." She laughed.

"Are you serious? Netherlands is a weird country." she laughed, sipping on another glass.

"It's not legal there either, bright bulb!"

"Yeah. Still shit like that doesn't happen where I'm from."

"And where is that?"

"Massachusetts."

"Oh, I heard nothing happens there at all."

"Sarcastic much?" I looked at her this time. Then she did same.

"Only with you."

I didn't know if it was either humour or…what it seems like it was; but it didn't sound much like it. For a second I heard a different connotation to her words. But I overlooked it. I made a quick scan of her living room; all her electronics were still in their respective packages.

"Don't you have any electronics in here?"

"I got a lamp!"

"You know what I mean."

"There's nothing to watch over TV, and your annoying radio stations play the same songs over and over." She shrugged. I laughed again; she had a point again.

"I get it for the radio stations, but you can't say there's nothing over TV; there's always something over TV."

"Please; between the men playing in red caps, and the millionaires walking on some carpet. Oh and let's not forget the distasteful reality shows. I can't seem to find my match sorry."

"You could still watch Raw."

"Raw?" She knew so little about the world it was amazing. It seemed as though, she lived in a shell; and it didn't bother her.

"It's our Wrestling live show. The one I'm on anyways."

"As soon as I get a TV; but I don't make promises."

"Why not?"

"Cuz, I don't ever keep 'em."

That night, I saw a side of her that hadn't manifested before. She was still very much of unknown to me though; it was needless to say she had a captivating persona. But there was more to her than she wanted it to look like; or was I just paranoid? Liz finally came from her trip a couple of hours later, and I said goodbye to Gage. I prayed to God Liz wouldn't get the smell of alcohol emanating from me.

As usual after my shower, I looked through the window when Liz was already in bed. The lights were still on; like they always were. I wondered what she could be doing in that big empty house. She looked so solitary. It had been over a month since she'd moved here, but I'd never seen her talking to anyone or getting any visit. She barely stepped out of her house.

It's hard to ever be alone; on the road there's the guys, and when I'm home I'm with Liz. I never asked myself what it'd be if I ever left everything I had and made a fresh start somewhere else like she did. Personally, it mostly looked like she was running away from something. But I knew nothing about her; so why start thinking such things.

I tried to push her aside as I got into bed with Liz. That woman was occupying too much of my mind. I guess I was just being curious. I persuaded myself and it comforted me; simple, genuine curiosity; that was it.

It had to be it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Games**

There's a thousand ways someone can wake up in the morning. A thousand things a man can think about as he looks at his wife sleeping soundly next to him.

It wasn't the case for me. This morning as I woke, I walked straight to the window; not for the bright sunshine, not for the birds or the sound of cars as people left their houses to go to work; it was to see her.

I made silent steps to the window and opened the curtain slowly not to wake Liz up. I smiled at her snoring body. It was something I'd always noticed, but I'd never tell her; probably because being the coquette girl that she still is within her; she will always deny it. My smile faded a bit as I looked back to the window; my chest tightened and that sick feeling in my stomach came back. Gage was leaning against her balcony, a cup of coffee in hand; not sure of the content though; could've been vodka as well; the girl was so awkward... She wore nothing but a white oversized shirt covered with stains…from her paints I guessed.

The wind blew and her long fiery red hair moved sideways with the breeze. It was funny; at the moment the wind blew in my direction, her eyes turned to look at me. Her gaze was far, but I felt as though she was right into my face. Her grey eyes always made me feel very awkward; like I was naked.

I felt like she looked at me so deep that she could see me wholly. It was very abnormal; maybe people are right when they say artists see more than what is shown.

She looked at me, and I looked at her. Then slowly, a smile crept up to her lips, before she waved at me. Wave wasn't the right word, she did an effortless salute sign; like the ones we did back at the Marine Corp and just like that I did same. I looked at the clock in the room; it was eight o'clock.

Same routine every morning ...

I guess she won't mind a proper good morning.

_While across the street…_

If she could wake up to that everyday; she'd die a happy woman.

His perfect chest, perfect face, perfect smile, and perfect everything just gracing her with all their sexiness. She hadn't had a man in a while now, and as she thought about it, the time was kind of long.

This man; John she thought, was literally a sex magnet. There was something in the way he looked at her; a sign of intimidation that let her imagine the most erotic scenes in her head.

They were all the same; at the beginning all upon the pillars of their moral values. But soon their barriers break and they show all their filthy ways. John was just like them; maybe even filthier than the others.

She walked down the stairs, a towel on her head. She had a long white maxi dress with small straps that clung to her chest loosely. She looked at her white dress and her red wet hair in the mirror. There was something about wet hair that few men couldn't resist. Her phone rang and at the same time the doorbell did. She went to pick her phone up first.

"_You mean I can't have it delivered here?"_

"_I don't care about your discount. Thanks a lot!"_

I watched her hung up the phone then sigh. Her eyebrows were lowered as she rubbed her temples.

"I expected you to come earlier." She said, not even turning to look at me.

"How did you even know it was me?"

"Just by this way of getting in without permission. Normal people knock." She chuckled finally looking at me.

"What was that about?"

"Well, once again America happens to be as disappointing as I thought it would be."

"Here we go again…"

"I ordered a TV last week, paid cash, and these incompetents can't even get it delivered." She said calmly, but I could feel she was tensed.

"What's the matter then? Just go get it there."

"Oh yeah…yes I hadn't thought about that!" she started.

"This place is like fifty kilometres away from town and Ta Da! I don't have a car. I'm not gonna fly till there."

"Well, I have one. I can take you." She completely turned to face me; her hair looked gorgeous over that skin toned dress she wore.

"Hmm; no. I'd rather go by myself" She folded her arms over chest and her head sank lower.

"Are you serious?"

"Damn right, I'm serious. I'm not letting you take me there."

"Alright, then tell me how you'll handle this."

"I could still ask somebody else!" she rolled her eyes. Her arms folded right beneath her breasts, giving a push to the girls.

"Oh who then?"

"Well…" she started walking around a little; a frown on her face. For a long minute, she went back and forth not saying anything. The ego on this woman I swear…

"So?"

Nothing…

She sighed. "Let's go. I could've found somebody else; let it be clear."

From the moment I parked right in front of her house to when she got in; no word was said. She still had that skin-toned dress on and her ginger hair was held into a messy bun and she had a small brown bag hung on her naked shoulder.

I got into the driver's seat of my Ford Torino and started the engine. She pulled down her seat belt and drove away. It was near ten o clock and people headed to work. There was a small congestion at the traffic lights and turned on the radio.

She was cruising one of the magazines on the dashboard. She looked focused behind her black shades. I noticed she had her ears pierced two or three times on the same ear, a small dark spot on her shoulder. Being a red head, I expected several freckles on her; but she had none.

" The light is green John." She looked up at me.

"What?"

"I said the light is green. Stop watching me like a freak." She snorted, burying her face back into her magazine. I started the engine once more and drove.

A few minutes passed, she still didn't say anything. She flopped her sandals and folded her legs.

"Do you like cars?" I asked.

Nothing.

"I ask that Cuz you've been reading that magazine for half an hour now." I continued, not turning away from the road.

Again; nothing. I sighed this time determined to stop trying to speak to this woman. Who was obviously not in need of any.

"How is Liz?" she spoke up finally. My stomach tore.

"She's doing great. Finally decided to speak up I see."

"I just like the sound of silence around me." She looked out the window and rested her arm on it.

"I hate it."

"Why?" she turned to look at me; taking her shades away from her eyes.

"It's always there to remind you; that wherever you are; it'll always follow you."

I could feel her face stay on me the whole time.

"Plus; every silent minute in your company reminds me I need to know more about you." I smiled at her. The corners of her mouth pulled into a smile.

"There isn't much to know about. You know."

"Then tell me what there _is_ to know." As I expected; she stayed silent once more.

"It's gonna be a long ride; so might as well be a pleasant one right?" she said.

"Exactly."

"So tell me about your life."

"What exactly do you want to know?"

"I dunno…do you have a boyfriend?"

"If I had a boyfriend; I think you would've noticed it. Am I right?" she smirked.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I chuckled.

"Like sure you don't! I was thinking of installing a special alarm system cuz of you." She smiled.

"You speak like I didn't like it when I visit you."

"You mean when you break into my house."

"Aouch! That hurt."

"You're a boxer. I thought you guys liked pain or something."

"It's _wrestler _not boxer."

"Wrestler- boxer; same thing." She snapped; waving her hand in a careless manner.

"Tell me about your life in Netherlands." We reached another light, and all of a sudden I saw her face darken again.

"I thought we'd covered this at the dinner with your wife." My stomach tore again as she reminded me of Liz.

"Feel like there's more to the story." I observed her and noticed that defensive wall she built little by little.

"Can we put the radio on please?"

"You hate listening to radio." I replied; and she laughed.

"You see you already have me all figured out." She leaned back in her seat putting her legs on the dashboard.

Something twitched in me; and I gripped the wheel tightly. I reached and turned on the radio and waited till a song played.

_She was a dirty girl on a trip_

_Her eyes were blue and soul was black_

_Her touch was cold and stare was deep; but still she could make me weak._

_And she's got me right where she wants me._

Gage adjusted her position; making her dress fall lower down in her lap; and exposing her legs even more.

_She loves it when I make her mine._

_To hear her moan and cry._

"Since when are married; you and Liz?" Gage said.

"Four years soon."

_Mm… She loves it when I touch her there._

_I get her so hot everywhere._

"And are you happy?"

I gulped and reached to turn down the radio. The question took me by surprise. So I said the only thing that came to my mind.

"Yeah; of course I'm-' Shit"

I looked into the rear view mirror and saw a police car right behind me; with its siren blasting and its lights flashing. I sighed then pulled to the right quickly.

I rolled down the window and waited as the officer approached.

"Good morning Sir; do you know why I pulled you over?" he asked as he bent to talk to me.

"Ah; no."

"How fast were you going?"

"I have no idea. But I-'

"You were going over eighty Sir; which is way above the speeding limit."

"I'm sor'

"License and registration please." He cut off. His eyes deviated to Gage and they stayed on her for a while.

I reached for my wallet; and searched the glove compartment. I handed him my license my found nothing in the glove compartment.

"If you don't have your registration, I will need you to step out of your vehicle please." He said; moving a few meters away.

_Shit!_

"Stay right here John." Gage said as she undid her seatbelt.

"What? Let me handle this Gage." She didn't listen to me though.

"I'll talk to him." She said. She let her hair fall; and adjusted her dress to show more cleavage; and added some lipstick over her mouth.

"Forget it! I'm not letting you pimp yourself out."

"Look, I'm a big girl and I don't see what you could do to stop me."

"Gage!"

She opened the door and slammed it back immediately.

She moved to the back of the car with the officer and I watched as they chatted. She pulled out the charm and put her hand on his forearm.

For the first time; I felt something else than just irritation. I saw her move her hand from his arm to his chest and smile seductively at him.

I felt sick in the stomach and my fists clenched on the wheel. She leaned against the car lightly and waited for him to get closer to her. An ugly picture in my head started thinking of the things that man could possibly expect from Gage. Dirty, filthy things.

I put my hand on the door. He was leaning down towards her and for a second I thought he was going to kiss her. Instead he took her palm and wrote something over it.

I was loosing it. My chest tightened. She pushed him back a little and smiled at him. She headed back to the car; his dirty eyes still on her as she walk passed him. He moved back to my side and handed me my license.

"Try to respect the limit next time." He said; then looked over at Gage who smiled brightly at him.

Without a word; I turned on the engine and left.

_555-670-432_

Gage looked down at her hand as well as the number written on it. Men are really all the same.

She was glad that officer had settled with a few smiles here and there. John didn't look at her once since they left the officer. Maybe the charm would work on him too? Or maybe not.

He didn't say anything for the rest of the ride. They arrived at the Samsung Electronic store. There he stayed in the car and waited as they set the cartons in the back seat. She came back and settled in the passenger's seat and waited for him to start the engine.

"Look; I just wanted to help you know." She snapped leaning against the door and facing John.

"I didn't ask for help; and certainly not that type."

"Look John I really appreciate you but I draw the line when you start telling me how to behave."

Silence fell.

"Are you going to call him?"

"What?"

"I said; are you going to call him?" He insisted. She noticed the change in the tone of his voice. He sounded serious and aggravated. It was deep and low. For a second she thought he was going to hurt her.

"Is that jealousy I'm hearing in your voice?"

"Answer the question." He pushed.

"No, I won't call him. Why?" She sighed.

She never felt this overpowering side of him. She kind of liked it. It made him thousands times sexier than he already was. She might consider pulling out a few tricks like that more often.

"I you invite a man in your bed; I want it to be your choice. Not because you were trying to get me out of trouble."

"You're too beautiful for that." He added.

He looked at her; with those blue eyes again. They always looked like they were telling her something. But she never figured out.

"I see." She barely murmured.

He started the engine and drove away. Something twitched in her again; truthfully she wanted to jump his bones. Her knees felt wobbly under her dress and she could bet her life that her nipples were already aroused.

She looked through the window a small smile creeping to her lips.

_At Gage's house…_

John carried the big cartons without a grumble to her living room.

She felt slightly disappointed; she would've loved to keep him a little more after what he said to her.

"I guess you don't need me anymore now." He said walking to the door.

_Oh I still need you for a whole lotta things baby._

"No; I'll be fine now. Thank you John." She smiled.

"Oh; was that I thought it was?"

"Don't play cute okay. I said Thank you…for _every thing_. Maybe you're not so bad after all." She mocked.

"I'll give you some time to judge by yourself. You're welcome."

He leaned closer, put his hand on the slope of her back pulling her closer to him. She stumbled forward but he caught her easily. He was so damn huge.

Her heartbeat sped and she could hear the echo in her ears. Her hands rested on his chest. He pulled back and left a small kiss on her jaw, next to her ear. She inhaled deeply. Was he trying to get her insane or what? Chest to chest; crotch to crotch.

A minute of awareness made her snap out of it as he pulled back. She watched his retreating form. She was going to have a hard time living here.

A very hard time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter VI**

_I'm looking in and I can see through you; see your true colours Cuz inside you're ugly…you're ugly like me…_

"John!"

"John!" Randy shouted from the bathroom. John took away his earphones and seconds later; Randy came into the room in a towel.

"You comin' with us tonight? We're going to Polish bar in Brooklyn."

"A bar? You? Why do I know it won't end well?"

"I already told you man…last time that crook had asked for it." He pointed.

"And you had to fight back? Who's the crook now?"

"What do you want…like charges repel…" Randy chuckled. "But seriously; come with us tonight; you've been staying home for weeks; and you know what they say about NY girls…"

"What about 'em?"

"I have no idea actually. But they're hot!"

"Dude…I'm married." John pointed.

"So am I!"

"But the difference is that I'm not asshole and a charlatan husband."

"You're hurting my feelings John; and what Sam doesn't know can't hurt her; could be the same for Liz."

John thought through his statement for a few seconds. Then he shrugged it off; what Randy says can't be taken into account…especially when women were involved. His judgement was too clouded with lust.

"But what ' you been doing on your break?"

"Almost nothing…there's just this new neighbour she's-" Randy spun around.

"Hot?"

"I don't know…I guess. Her name is Gage."

"Features"

"Normal height, long ginger hair, deep green eyes, curvy but not too much, tattooed, pierced ears, pale skin."

Randy raised an eyebrow questioningly. "How tattooed?"

"Just small ones; here and there."

"Okay…and her skin is just white or sheamus white?"

"Sheamus white; she's from Ne-"

"Netherlands?"

"How do you know?"

"Wait you said she's your new neighbour? Since when?" Randy walked closer, a curious look on his face.

"Two months or so. Why?"

Randy's eyebrows furrowed and his hand rubbed the back of his neck as he thought.

"Last tour in Europe; a year ago…" he started. "I told you about that redhead with-"

"You mean that one who you…?" John asked and randy nodded. Randy sat up and stayed in deep thinking for a sometime.

"You sure we're talking about the same girl, I mean there could be thousands of them…" John persuaded, but Randy did not take it into account.

"I need to know. When's the next break?" asked finally looking up.

"In eight days."

"Why don't you invite her on the road with us sometime?" randy smirked.

"Of course, Liz would love to know I spent my days and nights with our sexy neighbour who cooks better than her." He hushed.

"Okay well…Guess I'll have to wait another eight days. How about a barbecue at your house with other guys?"

"I don't know man…you know Liz…" he replied, his hand scratching the back of his head. If Randy paid enough attention, he'd see he was lying.

"I'll deal with Liz; you know she's got a weakness for me..." Randy stood up and moved to his suitcase. John was still intrigued; Randy could just be mistaking. Karma isn't so much of a bitch to do this.

"What's her name again?"

"You mean you didn't even know her name?"

"Nope!"

"You didn't even ask I'm sure."

"I did and she refused to give it to me. I'm not the type to insist."

"Say you just didn't care."

"You really just see me as an asshole?"

"Twenty four- seven." he said. Randy shrugged mockingly.

"You still didn't tell me what happened with her though." John asked cautiously; trying not to sound too curious; it wasn't because of Randy; it was mostly for his own sake. Randy turned; folding the collar of his shirt.

"Her and I just have unfinished business." He smirked.

"What kind?"

"The kind that I want to finish. What? You like her?"

"Of course…" John said sarcastically. Randy turned fully to face him, eyeing him suspiciously.

"But how is she? I mean did you talk to her already?"

"She's…special. I just know she's an artist; her house looks great. She doesn't go out much; and when you can catch her, you'd be fortunate to get a few words from her. Liz invited her dinner once; she loosens up after the fourth glass of wine, but that's about it."

"Tough much? My type!"

_Every woman is your type…_

"A small world it is…"

"Too small I think." John grumbled lowly.

"How did you meet her?"

John smiled as he thought back of the day he'd seen her for the first time.

"Ah…basically I came to say hello and she just blew me off." He chuckled.

"Typical John…" randy laughed. "

Randy straightened his shirt over his chest, admiring his reflection through the mirror. His eyes fixed John; he'd put his earphones back on suddenly; seeming pissed. He was his friend though; he knew John wasn't the type to cheat on his wife; and if there was something going on with that girl; who he was positive there was; he'd do him a favour to stop it before it took bigger proportions.

Besides, he really needed to find out if that girl was who he thought she was.

**A thousand miles away…**

She was hanging to her phone desperately. Her fingers started pressing on the buttons; then something at the back of her mind twitched and she erased everything immediately. Why were things so complicated? Why did she always have to do this?

"Because that's simply just the way you are baby." She spoke out loud. "You just can't help it; you always have to go for the taken ones."

It was wrong; it was so damn wrong to know the things she wanted to do with that man. She closed her eyes and exhaled; the tension releasing her with every breath she let out. Gage stood up and dropped her phone on the couch; her mind made up not to call him. After all what did she have to tell him? That her TV was working? She sighed.

She paced the floor like a maniac; she was giving up slowly. Her thoughts were so clouded; with everything about him. Those drop-dead gorgeous eyes and those fine lips and she was only thinking about the simple things on him. Then suddenly, the screen on her phone lighted up; she stood still for a moment. What if is was him? What would she say? It was bad to even talk to him in the first place. She took it and put the phone at her ear.

"_Hello_?" she said.

"_Gage?"_ That incredibly familiar voice hit her ears like a gunshot.

"_Why are you calling me?" _

"_Gage baby, don't be mad at me."_

"I'm going to hang up now."

"_No! Please! I need to hear you; just for a minute."_

"_How did you get my number?" _

"_It was you the other day right? The way you breathed…"_

"_Stop now! What do you want?" she asked coldly._

"_Gage, I am empty; I know I asked you to leave, but baby, I haven't painted anything since you left...I need you to help me."_

"_I can't do anything about it. I'm hanging up now."_

"_And me? Do you think about me? Or like me you stand in front of a blank canvas everyday?_

Gage stopped breathing; she had forgotten about Juan; her mentor, her lover, her friend without it taking a bit of her might. Secretly, she'd betrayed the link that had joined their two souls for such a long time.

"_Or have you already found a muse of your own?"_

"_Juan; you have Marie! She is your muse; not me!"_

"_Never. What we share; Marie will never understand and she will never replace you as my muse. No one will."_

He was probably right; their art was something they would always share; even when apart; it'll remain the red threat that keeps them together.

"_How is he?" _

"_He is a white fulmar sea bird; and like you he flutters on the coast; but never leaves the sea."_

"_Then you are wasting your time my love." _

"_You know me; I'm sadistic." She laughed; the tears had gathered and they were ready to pool down her face._

"_For now; but soon, the sun will be gone and the flowers will rot. But, if that's all you need from me, I'll forget you and leave you alone."_

"_Pardon me Juan."_

"_No; thank you my muse. No one has ever equalled your talent, and no one ever will. You are beautiful; never forget it; Goodbye."_

And before she could reply; the line went dead. Gage put her hand on her mouth to contain the heavy sobs as she backtracked to her couch. His words burned a whole through her pride and her ego; it was the last time she would ever those words from him ever again.

And little did Gage know that; from there, nothing would be the same ever again. Her life would take a turn she had not planned and the ride was not a cruise through roses. That night; when Juan told her goodbye, she cried more tears than she had ever in her entire monotonous and lonely life. But as she cried, she held her brush firmly into her hands and the tears spilling over the canvas meant nothing to her; she kept on doing the only thing she knew how to do. She painted.

**Two weeks later…**

Damned Florida. The sun was so fucking hot; nothing very surprising since they were right in the middle of the summer. Gage hadn't seen John for a while, and she was pretty happy about; saved her from doing something wrong. She stood on her balcony like she did every morning, sipping on her Lipton mint tea. She was still covered with paint; that's all she had been doing; so she wouldn't have to think about her life again.

Her latest piece was a half portrait of a joker or a clown whatever they could call it; with white paint and red lipstick drawn into a huge grimace with green eyes and red hair. It was all surrounded by a dark brown backdrop and from all the work she had done; she was thinking it might be time to make an exposition to make a name for herself. But who could she possibly invite? She didn't know anyone from around here; or anywhere else.

"Hello there!"

"Jesus Christ John…" she sighed; slowly turning as she recognized his voice.

"I thought you'd be happier to see me." He smiled.

"I thought you said you'd start knocking at my door now?"

"I did!"

"Then you should've rung the bell!" she sighed.

"How are you doing Ms Jansen? You look pale." he moved closer to her on the rail.

"I haven't been getting much sleep lately; but thanks for your concern." She moved away going back into the house.

"And that's it?" he grinned.

"Yes! That's is it! You want to think that I have a problem; and you would be more than glad to listen to me while I count you my stories but…no!" she chuckled and he laughed.

"So maybe you do have a problem!"

"No I don't. Even if I did you'd be the last person I'd want to tell it to."

"Who would be the first then?" he followed her inside.

"What?"

"Who would be the first person you'd tell your problems to?" he asked. They reached the kitchen and he looked at her on the other side of the counter.

"It's none of your business John." She turned her back to him.

"Chill; you're always on the defensive side…" he sighed; walking over to the couch.

"How could I not be?" she whispered; but he didn't hear anything.

"Anyways; I came here for a reason…"

"Oh! So it does happen to you sometimes." She chuckled and he shook his head.

"We're having a barbecue this afternoon; with some friends so; feel free to join us."

John looked at Gage, as she only nodded to respond. She looked like she'd walked through hell. She'd gotten a bit skinnier, and her skin had taken a kind of dull blue turn; almost like a corpse.

"I suggest you take a long and hot bath; might help you get back some colours."

John moved around taking in whatever his eyes caught; she indeed had a lot of talent. The way she detailed every pattern of whatever she drew, and he'd never really understood art, but Gage's pieces spoke volumes to him.

Her style was very sinister; dark and edgy. It always spoke a message of some sort of pain, or silence. The mixture of colours was exquisite.

"You like that one?" she asked.

"Yeah. It's very interesting…" John continued, his finger reaching out to touch it.

"Wow there! I just finished it." She interjected catching his hand and pulling it back.

"Sorry. You have a lot of talent that's for sure." He chuckled.

It was so confusing to see someone blur out nice things the way John did. Why did things seem so easy for him? To be so naturally kind, and appreciative could not be normal; only a vile and manipulative person could do that.

"I've been told." Gage turned away immediately and she heard him sigh. She pursed her lips; her back to him.

"John I've been thinking about something for a while."

"Yeah? What exactly?"

She closed her eyes and imagined the scene ahead of time. She would tell him about the nature of the "feelings" she'd so quickly developed for him and he'd look at her wide eyed, then he'd want to leave but then he'd turn back and come kiss her so ecstatically, they'd get caught up in the action and one thing leading to the other, the sexual tension would build up and finally body language would take control and she would finally be able to have a taste of what she'd longed for.

Gage chuckled; no. This is how it would happen in movies; but in real life, John would turn away, clearly stating he was married and thus inaccessible.

"Gage?" his voice was right behind her and she turned quickly.

"Hum…Nevermind." She smiled, boring her eyes into his. They seemed so far away; though they barely stood a few inches from each other.

"Are you sure?" his eyebrows furrowed.

"Positive."

A chill crawled up John's spine as he exited Gage's house. He looked behind at the red door of her house. Jesus; what the hell was wrong with that woman? One minute she was hot, the next she was ice. It was burning his chest; sometimes he wondered how he'd end up sneaking up into her house.

Gage was like the clown on the painting he'd seen in her living room earlier she personified that clown she'd drawn. A clown with a red and white paint, but instead of smiling, she grimaced.

John was right; that clown on her wall, was only the perfect picture of all the sinister and disturbing that was found in Gage. A monster hid between the lines of her perfect smile; her white porcelain skin and her long red hair. As Gage stood in front the mirror in her bathroom, she felt so much discomfort standing in front her own reflection. Maybe at some point, she'd gotten mad, or insane.

John knew nothing from her; and what he thought he knew; they were all lies. She saw the concern in his eyes today; how he looked like he cared. So much for just the few pounds she'd lost. She combed her hair and pushed it back; exposing the irritating birthmark she'd inherited from her scumbag of a mother. Sometimes; when she looked into her glass; like she did today; she'd hate to see she looked very much like her back when she was her age.

Unfortunately, she was just like her mother. Selfish, and everything that came along; and just like her mother, she'll end up alone. She remembered some of her words back then; the only ones she'd ever get from her.

_You look so much like your bastard father._

She always said, while sucking on her cigarettes. Her mother had deep green eyes, and that was about the only thing she'd received from her. For no one was ever able to steal the pain of her mother; not even the men she'd loved more than she did her own daughter. When Gage came back that afternoon; and saw her on the floor in her nightgown, the carpet covered in the blood from her veins…It was almost like relief.

So Gage sucked in a sharp cold breath, no one would be able to take away her pain as well. It was part of her; in the colour of her hair she'd been forced onto by her bastard father, in the colour of her eyes she'd had from her mother, in her paintings and everything that made her the person she now was. She looked down at the little pill in her hand, and threw it down her throat. She eased herself and let the drug act while she prepared herself.

Hair fixed, and make up on, she proudly walked out of her house like nothing was and let her trance give rest to her dark thoughts.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter VII**

By just her mere presence, she made the entire place darken with the same substance her heart was.

John watched from the other end of his garden as Gage chatted with someone from the staff team. She laughed carelessly and flirted so openly; all eyes were fixed on her, and when she walked to the table to get another beer may be her fiftieth; her dress lifted when the wind blew, enough to show her long white legs, but not enough to imagine what she had underneath…or what she didn't have underneath.

"Oh, Hi Gage!"

"Who are you?" she asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I'm Randy Orton."

"That still doesn't tell me from where the hell you know my name."

"John talked about you once; but I think we met already." He smiled.

John peered as Randy approached Gage. He was giving her the killer smirk, the same way he did with all his other broads. He leaned against the wall and said something that made Gage smile.

She never smiled like that whenever she saw him…

"So that is how wrestlers come at girls? "I think I have met you before" in 2012?

"I'm not very good at that. I admit." He chuckled.

"Let me guess, you prefer to go straight to the action instead of beating around the bush?" Gage asked, and he looked away as he laughed. Her eyes caught the way his tongue licked down on his lower lip as he turned his head.

"But I'm serious though, I think we've met before."

_Tanned skin._

"Really? You must be confusing with another broad, cuz usually I don't forget a face." She snapped, making Randy laugh even harder.

_Those tattoos down his arms…_

"You're probably right."

His green or blue eyes; she couldn't seem to catch their real colour came down to fix her. There was a moment of silence and she felt a strange feeling tearing her stomach.

"I see you met Randy!" A feminine voice squealed. It was like a wake up call from the other side of the universe.

"Hi Liz! You need any help with those?" she asked pointing to the huge load of raw sausages.

"No thanks, but I see Randy is keeping you good company."

"I'm trying."

"He's trying." They both said in unison.

"Didn't you come with Sam?"

"No, her and Alana had a school trip to D.C." he scratched the back of his head.

"That's so cute! I'm sure Alana has gotten so big now!"

"She does every day."

"Looks like John needs help." Gage escaped and walked over to John.

She couldn't put her finger on it, or may be it was the drug acting, or may be the beer, but she could swear she'd seen Randy before. There was one chance out a million she'd seen him before, if he hadn't brought it up may be she wouldn't picked. He was pretty hot; but weren't they all?

No one was hot like John though. He was like an immaculate canvas; waiting to be painted. She couldn't help herself, every time she would see him, she wanted to smile; not sure it was very normal but it didn't bother her so much.

"You're coming at my rescue?" he smiled. _Oh God!_

"I'm afraid there isn't much to save anymore." She looked down at his grill, blackened by all the burned meat and laughed.

"If you help me, you'll go to heaven!"

"Nah, doesn't work for me."

How the hell would she go to heaven when she couldn't even decide to do what was right? John was clouding up her mind and she more than anything refused to let it go. She hid her game so well, sometimes she wondered if he knew it was a constant battle inside of her.

"Then you add the cayenne pepper, and the olive oil, vinegar, brown sugar and if you like it very spicy, some chilli powder."

"Are you listening to me John?"

"Yes Miss Jansen!" he answered in a childish voice. Even though her nose was red and her hair a mess, she looked really gorgeous.

"But I prefer it spicy, what do you think?"

"I've always preferred it classic though."

"Pussy!"

"I fear for my stomach woman!"

"That's your problem, you're scared of new experiences. Your life must be so boring."

"I'm just not the adventurous type that's all; it's called consistency."

"And I say, the only thing consistent is change."

"Says, little miss I-stay-in-my-house all day long…everyday."

"I stay home, cuz I have no reason to go out, and I know you like to do that shit, but I don't visit people randomly." She spat.

"No wonder you're single, with that mouth you keep running…" He spat back.

"You must be right…" she whispered.

It's true, may be if she was a little nicer, polite, accessible, she would get along with people a bit more. But did he really want her to get along with people though?

"C'mon brighten up! You're Gage, I'd probably hate you if you were like Anny over there; sucking up to everybody." he pointed.

"I know right. Did you eat her cookies? They tasted like foam."

"She gave Liz a whole basket."

"Throw 'em. I spat them back but I still had the taste of death in my mouth." She said, and John burst into laughter.

"When you said a barbecue with friends, I thought you meant ten people max." she continued.

"Yeah, well I only invited a few; others just tagged along."

"May be I should've put something a bit more covering…" she shrugged, pushing her dress downwards.

"C'mon stop acting like you care." He chuckled.

"You know me so much already." She tapped his shoulder.

"I try."

"So…what do you think of Randy?" he asked cautiously. Cautiously.

"Well, he's pretty hot, either I'm really funny or he's just drunk cuz he laughed at all my jokes."

"He did? He's def drunk then."

"I'm very funny! For real I'm fucking hilarious John!" she squealed.

"Okay, give me that can, you've had too much of these." He tried to get her can of beer, but Gage moved her hand away playfully.

"If you want it, come get it!" she mused. Gage backtracked to a secluded area of the garden.

"Stop this Gage…" he urged her, his hand reaching out for hers. But she kept backtracking, holding out her can of beer at him. John looked around for a second to make sure no one was witnessing their little encounter. He dropped his hankie next to the grill.

"Damn woman…"

When he'd turned, Gage was already out of sight. He followed the direction she'd taken; there was a little path that led to the pool behind the house, and there he saw her kneeling on the edge, looking down at the water.

"You really can't get enough of me huh Johnny?"

"Don't call me Johnny. Only my mum calls me Johnny. C'mon let's go back there."

"Your mother…Is she a good mother?" she looked up at him. Her nose was red at the tip, and her eyes glowed like the water besides her.

"The best."

"I can tell; only good parents make good children." Her smile fell, and she put her hand in the water.

"What about yours? Is she a good mother?" John asked. Gage took her out of the water suddenly, and looked up at him again.

"Just take a look at me. Twenty five, single, no kids, no friends, no boyfriend." She chuckled.

"I don't see it that way."

"What I see is; a young woman with a lot of talent, independent. You stay true to yourself no matter what John says." They chuckled.

"You do your thing, you're free and careless; that's really cool."

"You speak like its special or something."

"It is!"

"Let me guess, you wish you were in my place, take a break from your wonderful career and blab la bla…" she mused, her hand drifting back into the water. John sighed.

"Yes, I wish and you can laugh if you wanna. All you have to do is be Gage all day long..."

"And that is, a nasty, immature bitch."

"Exactly!" he chuckled. "I have to be John Cena twenty-four seven. I have to control my image, control what I wear, what I say, the way I say what I say and if I don't, it's the entire company I jeopardize."

John sat next to her and this time, it was his turn to look ahead, up at nowhere in particular.

"Wow." She said.

"So…you mean…everything you do has to be thoroughly analysed and shit?"

"Yep!"

"So that means; you can't get drunk, or smoke a joint…"

"Nothing."

"Everyday?" she turned, and he nodded.

"I'd probably kill myself if I was you." She added.

"May be I'll start watching wrestling now; to see you feed those people the John Cena they want to see…"

"It's fun too. But the time we wrestled just for the fun of it is long gone."

"Why do you say that?"

"Cuz; the business has grown, we have sponsors and companies revolving around us, we have contract stipulations we need to respect." He sighed.

"It might not seem like it; but it's a lot of responsibility. Others might get away with a few scandals; but I can't."

"Why don't you quit?"

"I can't; no one would understand; my parents, my friends, and fans…" his eyes drifted upwards again, and something she'd never seen before; his face darkened.

"Liz would understand." She said.

Gage's words echoed in his head several times. But as much as he'd want it to be true, not even Liz would understand, and all at once, he'd loose everything he'd worked so hard for.

"I would understand."

Gage saw his face turn towards hers, and suddenly, she felt the creeping feeling of intimidation. Why did she even say that? She needed to back herself up fast.

"I mean…if you're John Cena or the delivery guy…I wouldn't give two fucks anyway." She chuckled.

"Oh. Okay." He turned back. Gage let out a sigh.

"But, in a couple of years, if you quit, come knock at my door, I'll show you what it feels like to live."

John almost heard the guitars of the sad song that would be playing in the background if they'd been in a movie. It was short-lived, but her words seemed to have brought him some comfort to his melancholy. Strange warmth surrounded him, like she had a hand on his chest; where his heart was.

"Yeah? What if I never quit?"

"You can still come, I'll be glad to share a joint with you!"

"What else?" he laughed.

"Anything your heart desires Johnny!"

He thought he'd had it bad enough the first time he'd met her. Back then, John thought Gage capable of all the wrong the world could carry. But looking down into her deep green or grey eyes; they didn't even have a fixed colour…he started questioning his entire life all of a sudden. Her full lips were in a pout, yet an incredibly sexy pout, her messy red hair fell upon her shoulders like a cascade and then; John's eyes drifted deeper…in a place he'd never dared to let his eyes wander, where he drew all the red lines.

She saw how his eyes locked her on the edge of that pool. She wasn't dreaming awake this time; and she was more than rejoiced. But she felt cold in her feet, and her pulse sped, and her chest was trembling. She didn't know why, but it certainly came from the ecstasy pill and the beer mixed together.

It was like a rush; he felt like a boy again all of a sudden. The feeling recapped him the first time he'd opened a Playboy magazine. But Gage was no playmate; her hand moved up to his right thigh and then to his chest, as she got closer, or may be he'd pulled her closer?

She'd barely needed to pull on his t-shirt, his face inched forward on its own. When both foreheads connected, a breeze of hot air blew through the green grass to push her to him. But she wouldn't do it if he didn't want it either, so she looked up at him once more, and his eyes; full of determination did not show any sort of retraction at all.

"John!" A voice called out. It was Liz, they both pulled back suddenly, and looking around; but they found no one.

"John! Where are you?" she called again. John straightened up and stood up to leave. Gage stayed on the edge of the pool.

"I… have to go." he said, she didn't even dare to look up at him. When he was out of sight, Gage smiled; she hadn't felt like this in her entire life. It was sweet and bitter at the same time; but just the feel of John so close to her overwhelmed her; stronger than any drug or alcohol; it was life.

She moved back to the garden silently; like nothing was, but a hand grabbed her forearm and pulled her back to the private corner. She looked back and; the guy with the tattooed arms fixed her.

"What's your problem?" she spat.

"You and me, have a few things to sort out, don't you think so?" he smiled.

"I don't see what you're talking about!" Gage turned to walk back, but he caught her again; and she sighed; frustrated.

"Look; I know women didn't turn you down a lot; but you see, back then, I did and that's it." she snapped.

"You wanted it as much as I did. I know it." He pushed, he let go off her and folded his arms across his chest; tattooed muscled flexing has he did.

"I was in a bad place, and I slept around with whoever…-"

"Whoever? So I was just _whoever_?" he asked jokingly.

"Look, I was confused okay? I know what I did was pretty creepy; to just leave you there like that…but I was…" she drifted.

"You need help woman!"

"You only say that cuz I didn't sleep with you."

"True; but is it me or you got something going on with John?" they walked back to the garden, and sat on one of the tables.

"I think it's just you; or the beer." She chuckled.

"Well, since he's looking at us right now, I thought maybe we'd play him a little trick."

"I'm listening." Gage took a sip of the beer Randy handed her.

"I'll whisper something to your ear and then you have to do just as I say deal?" he asked, and Gage nodded.

So much for their big talk; she sure moved to the next thing pretty fast. It hurt like a bitch; but well; she only remained true to herself. He thought he'd be able to hold it down in case things turned the way they are right now.

But watching as Randy whispered whatever sweet words he said to her, and looking at her giggle and flirt in front of his very eyes; right after they'd almost…

"Baby are you okay?"

"Not really; I'll go get some water okay?" he said. Liz smiled as he patted her back. She looked very beautiful these days, his stomach turned as he noticed he'd been too busy thinking of Gage to notice Liz.

"John baby, stop staring at me like that please." She blushed.

"Sorry." he leaned down to kiss her and her embrace didn't bring as much comfort the same way Gage's only presence had. He walked passed Randy and Gage still giggling from whatever it is they were saying.

"See that?" Randy chuckled as they noticed John had walk passed them.

"You're a mean kid Randy Orton."

"So now, we have John out of the picture…" he took her hand. "Why don't we go to your house; I'd like to see what you paint." He smiled.

"Randy…"

"Before you say anything negative…have in mind you owe me already." He pushed.

"No." she said. "That ring you tied to your necklace…" she shook her head.

"You didn't mind last time." He smiled.

"Now I do. I'm not that girl who you saw at Sixteen anymore." She put her hand over his and smiled.

"But you can do me a favour though." She continued.

"Say Hi to your wife for me."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Was it pure innocence or manipulation? With his only smile, he ignited a fire in her; so hot and so ravaging that even when he would be long gone; she would still feel her whole body consumed by that smile. He might've never noticed, but two months had passed since they'd almost kissed in front of his pool. Since then, talking to John had appeared more problematic than any other situations she'd found herself into; and concerning Gage, that was something. He hadn't come knocking at her door anymore, so she limited herself to watch him from her balcony whenever he came back from his job.

"You're up early beautiful."

"Hey baby." She answered.

Everyday she wanted to think it would stay like this until the end of times. John wouldn't come to her because of the obvious tension between them and she would respect his decisions and stay away from his household. They would occasionally greet and say "Hi" but nothing more. Wasn't everything better like that?

Probably, he thought. It had already taken too large proportions, and though he hadn't cheated on Liz; every second he spent thinking of Gage was worst than sleeping with any other woman. His demons had started tempting him even more now; he made dreams or would they be called nightmares…where…

"I made you waffles baby!"

"You're the best Lizzie." He looked down at his plate; Liz never did anything wholly; her waffles were half burned, and harder than dry wood. John chuckled. She really wasn't the cooking type; but just the fact that she was trying, made her so adorable. But it would be great, if once in a while, she made him proper waffles to eat. The doorbell rang, and his heart lifted to his throat; could it be her? He had no idea how to react in her presence now. He peered as Liz went to open the door.

"Hey Anny!"

"Hi Liz!" the brunette woman replied, they hugged before Liz let her in.

"Hi John." She said.

"Hi Anny." John had never really liked Anny, and he knew she could sense it. Both women sat on either sides of the table and shared a coffee and began to discuss their very futile matters.

"Oh, you will never guess what I saw this morning." Anny said.

"It seems Ice queen finally got herself someone." She added.

"Really? How do you know that?"

"Well, my husband was emptying the trash last night, and he saw police car parked in front of her house. So I went out to check and." She paused.

"And what?"

"This morning, very early, I saw Officer Barnett leaving her house!" she squealed.

"Officer Barnett? You mean the one…"

"Yeah, the one who looks like Orlando bloom!"

"He's so hot!" Liz squealed.

"Ahem!" John coughed on the other end of the table, but Liz was too oblivious to notice.

"I can't believe it, are you sure about that?"

"Girl! I saw it with my naked eyes, should've seen him leave this morning with his uniform all ragtag."

"Must've been a torrid night for them." Liz laughed.

"Baby, did you know Gage had a boyfriend?"

"What?" John looked up

"Gage! Anny said she saw a man leaving her house this morning."

"And not just _any_ man; a cop doesn't surprise me though, she's so secretive about everything."

If Liz had paid more attention to; the clenching of his jaw, the way his face reddened slightly, the tightening of his fists around that cup of coffee, and this list went on then she would've feared for their marriage immediately. But she was way too unconscious and way too thoughtless in her nature to notice anything.

"It's been a while I haven't talked to her, ever since the Barbecue, she's been like a hermit or something." Liz murmured.

"Well, where could she have met Officer Barnett then? Does she know anyone from around here? Does she even have a family?"

"Well, we talked to her once with John that's all."

"And did you see her house? How did she even get it?" Anny pushed. John was more than frustrated with their noise, they didn't know anything about Gage, how could they possibly know the answers to their questions when they'd never even told her good morning? John stood up drastically, making a loud noise with his chair.

"Baby where are you going?"

"Gym. I'll be there for lunch."

**At Gage's House…**

It was a hot morning in Tampa again, and Gage, for a change had moved her canvas to the living room, and she pushed the couch and furniture further apart to create more space. As usual, she wore a big white over sized tank top and her black boxers as bottom. She'd closed all doors and windows, and she'd ignited a fire in the chimney. It was probably suicide to start such a big fire, with such a high temperatures outside, and closing all entries. But it was another one of those experiences that made her the artistic genius she truly was. She placed her canvas a few meters away from the fire and took out her tablet of paint.

"Burn me now."

When he entered, he'd expected to feel the usually very cold atmosphere of her house. Instead, it was a furnace. He looked around and noticed the furniture had been pulled away, and she was there; sitting in her high chair, right in front of the burning chimney. He closed the door behind him and moved in quietly. She was sweaty; and her white tank was almost completely transparent and stuck to her wet skin. He let out a breath as he approached her; she was painting. He stood there for a few minutes behind her and from his side he saw the unresolvable mask of concentration she wore. Her lips were parted, her eyes didn't seem to move away from her canvas, and when she did, it stared into the fire like she wanted to jump into it.

She whipped her forehead, and her breathing became heavier. For how long had she been in there? He took a look at the almost achieved painting and estimated three to four hours. Her chest heaved faster and she still hadn't seemed to notice his presence. He sat on one of the couches as he felt the heat of the room. A few more minutes passed, and she'd put down her brush and her fingers now tainted by the colours worked on her canvas. She put down her tablet of paint and stood from her high chair. Her frame walked over the chimney and she turned off the fire, then she opened the windows and finally, came down to crash on the couch next to him.

"Do you want to kill yourself?" he asked. She threw her head back so her eyes starred into the ceiling, her trembling wet chest made ups and downs and a smirk appeared on her lips.

"You think this is funny? You think it's safe to lock yourself in here, what if you'd ran out of air? What if you'd fainted?" he insisted but Gage didn't say anything and continued to stare into the ceiling.

"Are you done?" she asked. Her head rose and she looked at him through her heavy lids.

"You're crazy." He scoffed.

"Look at that…" she pointed to the painting. "Its perfect." She smiled weakly. It was indeed a very beautiful painting; it was a forest set on fire. The night sky in the back mixed perfectly with the red flames that emerged from the yellow ones. Orange, yellow and deep blue was the perfect mix on her painting. It was so precise and exquisite; you could mistake it with photography. She was full of talent, but to John her methods were a bit extreme.

"It is. But did you really have to go near asphyxia to do it?"

"Yes; if you're not able to feel what you portray, what type of artists are you?"

"Da Vinci never dressed as a woman to paint Mona Lisa; thank God."

"You don't know that!" she chuckled. "Point is; the whole purpose of this is for me to feel the intensity I show here." She breathed.

"You need professional help Gage."

"I lock myself up for a few hours; I need help, but you can voluntarily start a fight with a man for no reason, and because million people watch, its considered entertainment." She pointed, John laughed. He'd completely forgotten what he'd come here for, and when he did remember, his smile fell and his laughter died down, to be replaced by a rancorous anger.

"You said you wouldn't call him Gage."

"And I didn't." She started. "I texted him." She laughed. She was consciously fuelling up the fire, and it was so much more than his nerves could take.

"Don't judge me John."

"I'm not judging you Gage; I'm just…don't think, this type of relationships will do you any good."

"And who are you to know what is good for me?"

"No one I guess."

"Is that all you came here for? To play Big daddy Johnny?" she laughed bitterly.

"Isn't it always the case?" he smiled weakly.

"Thanks you Johnny." She whined, beating her lashes jokingly.

"Don't thank me. Just don't ever call him again."

John's voice was cold again just like it had that day he'd asked her not to call the cop guy. Slowly, the tension built up again.

"You're being very abusive with me John."

"No, I'm not. I just look after you."

"Too bad…I won't mind at all." She whispered. The look in her eyes was priceless; John felt the turn this was taking.

"I also wanted to talk about; hum…last time you know…at the barbecue." She only nodded to tell him to keep going.

"I wanted to apologize for putting you into such an uncomforta-"

"Why do you always feel the need to apologize Johnny?" she teased.

"Anyways, don't apologize. I didn't feel uncomfortable. At all." She said everything so slowly and clearly, just so he understands her point. John didn't say anything, instead he starred at her; boring a whole through her like he had the day at the barbecue. Gage was close enough to him; and she put her hand on his thigh again.

"John; I was thinking…may be, we could end what we'd started."

Gage's little voice sounded louder than it actually was. Every word emitted by her mouth; slowly and suavely made every inch of him boil in excitement. A little voice in the back of his head reminded him of whom he really was. He was John; the nice guy, the trustworthy friend, a good employee, an understanding boss at times, John the role model of these kids, and most importantly, he was John; the faithful husband. But all of that seemed so far as her eyes starred right into his.

At that instant, he was nobody. He was just a man, craving for something; only the woman in front of him could give to him. And he knew she did want to give to him.

"Come here."

Was it the way, she barely pulled on his t-shirt that made it seem like he was not compliant? To feel helpless under her touch, or just for once in a while; to do something he wanted and not something he needed.

"This is wrong Gage." But it was too late; his face was already so close to hers, not even the strong winds of a storm could pull them apart.

"It is. But doesn't it feel right?" she smiled but she was right. It did felt right. Just like last time they connected forehead again, and her warm aura enveloped him again.

"I…-"

The first contact with her bright pink lips was as new as the first ever snowflake he'd seen in his life. They were cold and her face was so close; his mouth began to water for more immediately, and just like she'd felt it, she captured his lower lip with more vigour than she previously had.

The taste of paradise; that's what it really was. What else? Because no such thing on earth felt as good as John's hesitant yet willing lips against hers. With every stroke from her own mouth, she felt his jaw loosening up, and when he finally took a step and took her lip between his; she felt slightly overpowered by his strength, but soon again, he became hesitant. Persisting to tease his lips, she took his lip one more time and just when she was about to let it go, her teeth slightly closed around it. Not enough to hurt him; but just enough to show him she wanted more.

It was more pleasurable than anything else when she bit on his lip; but the tempting little suction Gage performed with her tongue, was nevertheless left John bitter and sweet. She made a sound, and his hopes flew near ground when he thought she was going to pull back, but when she moaned against his lips desperately, abandoning or better yet, conveying her desire for him, John felt a rush in his veins.

Gage had already obtained more than she'd expected from this day. But was it ever enough for a woman like her? Her free hand left John's lap, and moved up slowly. It stopped right where his crotch was and moved upwards; reluctantly to under his shirt. It was one of her secret fantasies to touch his chest; she always wondered if all those muscles were really as firm as they looked. Indeed they were; his soft and shaven skin was unbearably good to feel. She only wanted one thing; to kneel between his legs and kiss his chest again and again.

"Gage, stop."

"You don't give me orders Johnny." She beckoned.

"I told you not to call me Johnny." He whispered.

"That'll make two people who call you that now. Johnny." She smirked before restarting her vicious assault on his lips.

"I want you so badly Johnny." She whimpered, her hands tracing the lines of his hipbones, and she grew fidgety.

The truth was hard to believe, yet so delicious to hear. He had a truth to tell her too; but wouldn't that be crossing every line he was supposed to never get close to? Wouldn't that be signing a pact with the devil? Confessing to Gage how much of a sensitive wreck he was because of her presence only…

"Let me take this off for you." She whispered against his lips again; reaching for the hem of his t-shirt and pulling it upwards. John showed no reticence and she easily pulled it up and away.

"Beautiful." She breathed; her forehead was still connected to his, while she looked down at his bare chest. Her hands touched him from his shoulders, down to his large pecs, and those irresistible abs. Gage sighed; she'd probably eat him up if he let her. She couldn't stop touching him everywhere; like a little girl loosing her innocence to a man. It was exhilarating; she felt like she owned him.

"I want to see you now." He breathed. John pulled Gage's hands away from him while he kissed her; someway she'd found herself on her lap; straddling him in her little boxers.

"Not yet." She leaned down in his neck and inhaled the deep scent of his body as it set her on fire, when his strong hands abruptly pulled her back.

"Now." He commanded. She gasped when he pulled down her tank, and she regretted not wearing any bra that day.

Gage was a busty red head; needless to say. They were beautiful; her porcelain skin blend with her little pink nipples. Suddenly, she was less boastful and she even blushed as he starred at her topless; face flushed and hair messy. His phone vibrated in his pocket; tempted to just let it ring, he took it out and looked down at the caller I.D

_Lizzie Girl._

His heart momentarily stopped beating and he looked over to Gage. Instantly, she put her top back on and lifted from his lap, and made him a sign to pick up. He cleared his throat.

"Hey Lizzie!"

"_Hey Baby! So I'm at the mall right now and I wanted to make you some grilled salmon; but I didn't know if you did like salmon." _

"You know what; never mind that; I'll take you out for Dinner tonight." He turned away from Gage and moved towards the window.

"_Oh, great! I better do some shopping I guess! See you later, I love you." _ She could picture her jumping all excited from the other end and he smiled.

"I love you too."

When he hung up, the sexual tension in the air had died down, and a heavy silence settled in. John looked around for his t-shirt, and Gage handed it to him.

"Thanks."

She could see on his face, he felt outrageously shameful. The determined and fiery John was gone and he'd come back to his normal self.

"If it makes you feel better; consider it's all my fault." She smiled, her hand going through her hair.

"It doesn't."

"What would make you feel better then Johnny?" she faked a childish pout. "Oh, I know." She added, she approached him, her hands going to his belt, but he caught her and she sighed.

"Don't you ever feel any sort of remorse?" he asked, looking down at her. Her cold stare came up to meet his.

"No." she replied coldly.

"I'm done here." He let go off her hands and turned to walk away. Gage followed him to the door.

"Come back whenever you're in the mood." She laughed, and he turned.

"I won't. You can forget it."

"I wouldn't be so sure about it John." She said. "You see; the way I make you feel…I know you love it. If not, you would've begged me to stop."

"I'm not like all those guys you slept with! I mean what I say." He hissed.

"You're not that's for sure, and I'm not ready to let you go just yet." She moved closer to him, tip toeing to his height so her face was close to his. Their shaky breaths met and she closed her eyes.

"I give you a week to think about it Johnny." She whispered.

"What if I'm not here in a week?"

"I'll wait if you want. Or I'll find you, and I'll give us, what we both need."

John left without a word. He was probably shocked by her approach, but Gage was positive it would work out just how she'd planned. By the way he looked at her, with such ardent desire, she wouldn't have to wait a week. She then proceeded to open all windows after he'd left.

She walked over to the painting she'd finished. It was really perfect. There was no turning back now; she shared a type of love with John; an irrational and physical love. She was like the forest on the painting; and John had set her on fire with that innocence in his smile. From now on; the fire would never die down until she'd gotten enough; until she'd felt him burning her very soul.


	9. Chapter 9

Day Four.

Gage stood by her window, glancing across the road to the house opposite of hers. John's silence had been more than unbearable, and the simple thought that her plan was possibly failing made her stomach turn. She felt deeply wounded in her ego, and perhaps more than she should've been. John was just a man, she could have any whenever she wanted; they came so easily. Gage went to the kitchen and returned to her balcony, a cup of coffee in hand to start her day.

She had been painting everyday since then; expressing her alacrity and her impatience to get her hands on John. John; so wary and daring at the same time, he made her emotions swing like a see-saw. Gage; for a first, did as he'd asked and did not call The cop again; Oh…he has a name; Barnett! He was not a very responsive partner; very dull and almost boring, she'd regretted having sex with him. It was a pure waste of time; and energy. She sighed, going back into her house; she showered, got dressed and immediately headed for the door. It made her sick to feel this way; watching the sun rise and fall, waiting for John to knock at her door, with that desolate look on his face, and his sexy pout she would gladly kiss off his face.

The little thoughts of it caused spasms in her body. It might be the longing; but as far as she remembered, she'd never wanted a man so deeply; it was getting the ugly side of her. She didn't care he had a wife or even he were sixty and had kids; she'd still want him. She would still want him to be hers, at least once. She wanted so badly to add his name to her list of lovers…not lovers; victims perhaps. Because she knew deep down, no man walking the surface of this earth would be fit for her, and so walked her way loosely, trying to fill the emptiness of her being by filling the desires of men who've lost it. She gathered some boldness and went over to knock at the door of the Cenas. The door swung open, and a bit of disappointment ran over her as Liz opened the door brightly.

"Oh! Hey Gage, how are you?" she squealed.

_These women and their annoying voices._

"Hi, I'm doing great thanks." She replied warmly forcing a smile on her lips.

"Oh come in! We'll share some cookies."

"Oh don't bother, I was passing by to say Hi."

"Please it's my pleasure, c'mon sit." She gestured to the little kitchen table.

"I hope you're not in a hurry; John came back from work yesterday and he's still sleeping."

_There's good news._

"So, tell me how's it going, what have you been doing lately?" she asked putting a plate full with cookies and glass of water and sat besides her. Damn this woman is invasive.

"Painting mostly. I was thinking of making an exhibition in town, but I don't know where to start." She replied simply.

"That's great, I'm not an _art _person, but I think there might be a couple of nice places in town."

_No shit…_

"I'll find a place but-"

"You should try the Michael Murphy Gallery; on 2701 street, McDill Avenue."

His voice emerged from the stairs, and she could feel her body warm instantaneously to it. The expression on Liz's face changed as well and her smile grew wide. She rose from her seat, and walked over to John. She heard the little sound as they kissed lightly; and it made her feet cold. She frowned.

"Hi Gage." He said, and finally she turned to look up at him. Liz's arms retreated from his naked torso and he wore a pair of loose sweats that hung deliciously to his hips. She inhaled deeply, her preying eyes searching his and a wild rush pooled across her body.

"Hi John, pleased to see you." She nodded with a smile to intimidate him.

"The pleasure's mine." He retorted a leer on his face. Determined and fiery-eyed John was back. A chill ran from her ears to all sensitive places and one especially; between her thighs.

"So what are you girls up to?" he said, breaking up their stare and moving to the counter, where there was the coffee machine.

"Gage here was telling me about her exhibition, and I was just telling her about the place you mentioned." Liz grinned; this woman really needed to get her head straight.

"McDill Avenue? I've never been there before." Gage spoke up, watching his back as he poured some coffee in a teacup. No sugar, no milk; he liked his coffee pitch black; just like her. She smirked at the realization.

"Then again Gage…where have you been since you moved here?" he chuckled, turning around and leaning against the counter. Something so hypnotizing in his smile held her gaze steadily to his; though he was bare chest, she didn't want to look elsewhere.

"Are you being sarcastic John?" she asked.

"Just saying…" he shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee.

"But…McDill, isn't that far from here? An hour ride at least if there's no traffic."

"I intended to buy a car soon; that'll be fine."

"When do you plan to make your exhibition?" John asked.

"A month or so; I haven't decided yet."

"I suggest you find out if it's not booked already; it's quite a chic gallery."

"I could give you a ride!" Liz spoke up.

_Oh hell no…_

"Wow there! Lizzie; weren't you seized your license not so long ago?" he choked on his coffee. She pouted immediately.

"Johnny; now Gage is going to think I'm terrible driver!" she squealed.

_Johnny…_

"Which you _are_!"

Gage looked away as their little encounter grew into a big masquerade. They were cute though; cute, carefree and stupid. She felt a sting in her stomach. She used to have little arguments like that with Juan over a painting. Should it be blue? Or yellow? All the arguing only to realize in the end, the Japanese flag had a red circle in the middle.

"What do you think Gage?" The noise stopped suddenly, and both John and Liz were looking at her, expecting an answer.

"Hmm; yes." She said nonchalantly.

"Okay; then John will give you a ride and I will make dinner tonight." Liz clapped her hands together like a child.

"You two shouldn't bother about me; I'll manage." She said standing up preparing to leave. Her temper had fallen all of a sudden; watching them in their little dispute, and how in the end they didn't even remember what they'd argued about in the first place…It was a little too cute for her.

"Gage…" John called her name, and she turned her head.

"I'll give you a ride." He replied slowly and inflexibly…sexily. There was a moment of silence, and with just one look from John; all her fervour and her desire rushed back to her…and Gage was back to her.

"And we'll let Lizzie girl make us a good dinner…" he drifted, rubbing Liz to his side; an arm thrown around her.

"Us?"

"Yeah, we said dinner here tonight right?"

She cocked her head to the side, a smirk played on her face while a not-so-innocent idea run in her mind.

"Dinner at _mine_. I will cook; for a first."

"Oh great! I'll come with John, and you could call Officer Barnett!" Liz squealed. Jumping up and down; Gage frowned, how did she know about Barnett?

"Hmm…I think I talked a little too much."

Gage stared into Liz coldly, and then over at John, her eyes seeking the truth from both of them. John whispered something into Liz's ear and she nodded then left the room. John walked over to her; and Gage moved a step away from him. She smiled.

"I'll see you tonight John."

Before heading for the door, she scanned through John rapidly. He looked as appetizing as ever; those wide shoulders, his compacted abs, and his hipbones. Goose bumps rose on her skin and the hair in the back of her neck did same. Her eyes stuck on his waist, admiring the sensual curve absorbed into the waistband. She breathed a sigh of longing and want; unflinching in front of John's gaze.

"Gage!" He called her name sternly; she looked back up into his eyes knowing what he would say.

"Oh yes John; I enjoy the view. I'll see you later."

In the car, reigned a very graveyard-like atmosphere. It had been there from the second he'd pulled out of her driveway. The cold wind emanating from her cold stare had overwhelmed him as always. She was wearing cotton long and loose white dress that hugged her top then hung loosely and waved in the wind. The collar was wide and the white material accented the perfect pattern of her breasts.

"Do you always wear white?" John asked; perhaps, conversation might distract him away from those thoughts.

"Yes John, I always wear white." She replied, slightly amused.

"Mind to share?" he asked, obviously noticing her giggle.

"Yes. I'm enjoying my own joke."

"Oh; you seem to take very sordid pleasure in mocking me Gage."

"Very sordid. Indeed." She added. "I thought I was good at hiding it."

"You are not. It's like there's an elephant in the room."

"An elephant huh?" she gazed at him through her black wayfarers. "Not so big of an elephant then…your wife barely noticed."

Silence.

"About your wife…"

"Annie the neighbour; she saw him coming out of your house; and hum…you know…gossip…"

"Oh, I don't mind then." She shrugged taking her glasses off as a cloud covered the hot afternoon sun.

"You thought _I_ would've told her?" John asked quizzically accenting on the "I" and she turned to watch him as he drove and shrugged.

"I told you Gage, I'm trust worthy." He asked, his eyebrows furrowing, and his body stiffening.

"Those weren't your exact words…but something like that…" she grinned.

"Let's not talk about that- Please." He exhaled.

"You are really a strange man John. Very bizarre." She smiled, looking away through her glass.

"That sounds like a compliment coming from you." He grinned too, and he exhaled slowly.

"Do as you please of what I say- so long as it is positive."

"Who are you? Where is Gage? Who cares less about…_hell_…everything!" he laughed.

"Not far; she's waiting for your answer."

"And if I don't have any for her yet?" His tone becomes obviously more serious, and he clears his throat.

"She'll wait."

"How long?"

"Three days." She smiled.

"And if I still don't have an answer for her then?" he looks away from the road momentarily. For a brief second he saw her eyes on him; but they weren't wild and furious as always; they were docile, pleading, almost begging. She blinked as he looked at her.

"She'll find one for you."

It was firm and straight to the point.

"Are you declaring you're coming after me Gage?"

"Yes."

"It's not a battle you want to fight Gage…" John pleaded.

"Neither do you John." She whispered. A blow of hot air at the level of his ear alarmed him of her closeness. A chill ran down his spine and he composed himself, ignoring her.

"I told you; I'm _not_ like those guys. I have respect for you, as weird as it sounds."

"And that's what makes you so goddam special John."

"I'm sorry, you've lost me."

"I want to spoil you John."

The Michael Murphy Gallery; is Tampa's premier art gallery, and served the good people of Tampa for over twenty-five years or so their usher…A certain Mr Barns says, he looks like he's in his fifties, he has beautiful tussled grey hair, and graceful wrinkles beneath his eyes; a voice a bit exuberant for a man his age. He was dressed in bright unusual colours; a pink shirt, navy blue pants and a multi colour polka dot tie.

"May I give you a sightsee Miss…"

"Jansen." Gage nodded, linking her arm with Mr Barns'. She looked back at John who stood behind them, his hands in his pocket jeans, and his wide white crew t-shirt. White looked great on him as well; he looked like an angel.

"We have approximately five thousand square foot of gallery space…" Mr Barns spoke, but his words were so utterly useless.

Gage looked around her; white polished walls, a beautiful grey marble floor, but the charm of the gallery were the dislocated walls all over the rooms. They stood like pillars; and each immaculate wall held a painting and made the room a magical rainbow of colours. She looked up at the ceiling, and with the best of her English, she saw mini spotlights; each directed to one of the walls; enlightening the entire place. In the far end of the room; there was a bar stool, and behind it stood yet another odd decoration.

"…over eight thousand beautifully crafted frames from which you can choose from Miss Jansen."

Gage turned round and round, trying to see if this place had an ounce of imperfection. It was really perfect; everything about it; especially the dislocated walls; they looked invitingly disorderly and create the illusion of a secret pathway to an underground world. She turned over to John; his hands were still in his pockets and he looked carefully around; making sure not to touch anything.

"Do you like it John?" she asked; with an abnormal cheerfulness.

"Yeah! Looks great." He nodded.

"We also have a children's play area and a club room in case Mr and Mrs Jansen have kids." Mr Barns spoke up. Gage looked over at John then John back at Gage, then Gage to Mr Barns.

"You are mistaking Mr Barns, John here is only a friend." She smiled gracefully; putting her hand over Mr Barns' wrist.

"My apologies err…John." He said, and John nodded in response.

Mr Barns gave Gage another tour, and brought her to the bar stool where he invited her to have a seat in one of the high chairs. John came and sat next to her while Mr Barns disappeared to get some documents on price ranges and other details.

"It looks perfect isn't it?" Gage said, shifting on her chair, so her elbow was on the barstool.

"It's very _you_. I think your paintings will look better here rather than locked in your basement." He grinned.

"How do you know I lock them in my basement?" she raised an eyebrow at him; John simply smiled back and shrugged.

"What else do you know? The colour of my underwear perhaps?" she joked.

"I would not dare; but knowing you, I wonder if you have any." He grinned down at her, turning to her as well.

"I am sorry to disappoint you but I do have underwear on." She stated, turning back so both her hands were on the stool.

"Those little boxers don't count as underwear."

"John! Could you be anymore intrusive?" Gage laughed, and Mr Barns finally emerged with a handful of papers and an expensive pen she ought to be a _Mont Blanc_.

"So Miss Jansen; is the Michael Murphy at your taste?" he spoke proudly and eloquently.

"Mr Barns, quite honestly, it has conquered me."

"Beautiful. When do you plan on starting your exhibition? Have you had a look at our price range?"

"I would like to start in early Fall; and no." Gage spoke up and Mr Barns looks up from his papers, dropping his pen on the stool.

"Early fall? That's in four weeks. I need to check the agenda to see we're not reserved already Miss Jansen."

The grey haired man disappears behind a white curtain behind the stool again and comes back with a small notepad and reading glasses fixed to his eyes.

"A lucky young woman you are Miss Jansen, in a week we'll receive Nicholas Jaworski for a two-week exhibition, then we're free until end of September." He resumes.

"Jaworski?" she says and Mr Barns looks up at her. "Jaworski…The photographer?"

"Exactly Miss Jansen a problem?" he takes off his glasses.

"No." she giggles, holding her hand over her mouth.

"I would feel offended if I were you Mr Barns." John states matter-of-factly to him.

"I'd like to know; when is the Jaworski exhibition supposed to start exactly?" she replied, recovering from her laughter.

"Next Tuesday; tickets are still available." The grey haired man replied pretty grumpily.

"I'll have two please Mr Barns."

"Young Lady, you will have to wait until it is announced. Besides, we still have not discussed on a price."

John looked down at Gage as she battled with Mr Barns over what wine and appetizers, and what colour for the advertising banner. He chuckled inside. She looked like a little girl; trying to win over the right to wear make up.

"Barns! You are a con." She stated coldly.

"Miss Jansen!" He replied, putting his hand over his chest in _shock._

"_Cheval Blanc _is way too expensive for an expo. A _Veuve Cliquot_ will do!" she hissed, and he finally capitulated and nodded.

"Any special invitees?" he asked, taking small notes in his note pad.

"John!" Gage called, making him jump out of his thoughts. "You are quite pensive Johnny, anything on your mind?" she raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"No." he breathed out in exasperation.

"I don't have any invitees apart from you and Liz; you could bring your squad along. It'll give me some publicity if you're as famous as you say."

"Sure, I'll ask the guys. You're not inviting Annie...your neighbour?"

"No." she replied glacially, then she cocked her head to one side. "But I'll invite her husband!" she grinned.

John shook his head at her naughtiness, but she did nothing with it. When they were done, Mr Barnes ushered them back to the door, shaking John's hands and taking Gage into a familial hug. The eccentric old man seemed to appreciate her; especially after he'd seen her portfolio; Gage's talent struck him. The night had settled when they drove back home and John tensed again.

"Do you know this Jaworski guy?"

"What?"

"The Photographer."

"Oh! You don't let anything slip through do you?" she smiled and turned to him.

"He's a photographer I worked with; he spent some time in Amsterdam and I helped him for one of his works."

"How? I mean…aren't they two different worlds?"

"No; photography and Painting are comparable in various ways."

"Oh."

They reached a traffic light; the light was red, but John looked sideways, and drove through the empty junction; violating the sign.

"Come on John! I'm sure you can do better…" Gage sighed in mockery.

"What? Can't I have some fun?"

"That's how you have _fun_? Pretty pathetic if you ask me." She snorted.

"Your talking is falling over deaf ears Gage! You're still the one who stays home all day." He laughs.

From the corner of his eye, John watched as she took her sandals off, and vanished in the back of the car with her bag.

"Just what are you doing there?" he asked looking into the rear view mirror, but it was too dark to see anything. After a while, he heard her fidget in the back, hearing thumping sounds as something rubbed against the black leather. He looked once more in the mirror, this time; there was nothing in his view.

"Gage, get back here now." He urged as sternly as he could, but he heard no sound.

"Gage, I'll count to three!" he says again; and a little giggle emerges from the back. She's probably mocking him.

"Gage!" he calls again, but he hears nothing. He can't risk to take his eyes off the road, so he pulls in somewhere and finally turns, but she's nowhere in his sight, but back seat is completely empty.

John sighed in frustration, unclicking his seat belt and opening his door, he closes it then opens the one to the backseat. She's in the corner, crumpled in a ball, her head on her knees. He slides in and closes the door behind him.

"Now what?" he asks. Her face rises from her knees, and her eyes blaze instantly as they find his.

"We have to get back…" his arms reaches the door handle, but she puts her hand on his forearm. John closes his eyes and exhales a deep breath as she pushes herself closer to him.

"Gage, no. This is not the place nor the time."

"John, I don't deserve this; why don't you just give in?" she murmurs into his ear; feeling the familiar blow of hot air again. This is going downhill. His hand releases the door handle as she puts her hand on his chest.

"No…"

His short and quick breaths warmed the pit of her neck.

"No…" he groaned.

He pulled her into his lap, faster than she could blink, so she sat astride him. Yet he continued to groan "Nos". She smiled, cupping his face in her hands. His determined look was there, he wanted it so badly. Just like her; he'd been thinking about, she could only tell by the way his strong arms held her hips on him.

"I can't do this Gage…" he whispers, looking away. _Oh, it's kind of late for that Johnny…_

"Let me help you…" she whispered.

It only took a kiss for him to start complying and Gage smiled against his lips.

"You taste so good Johnny." She pulled back breathlessly, but John looked up at her; as if ashamed, and brought her face back to his as if to silence her. It wasn't unwelcome. The tension was palpable again, coursing through their bodies as they grinded against each other. John's hands held Gage's hips so steadily into him; she could feel with precision every inch of his caved erection. She moaned, crushing onto his lap. If Gage had been a villain for the devil, he'd be contemplating the scene; an amused grin on his face.

John was slowly and surely unravelling under her touch; his body stiffened wherever she put her hands on him, yet it obviously enjoyed every delicious stroke she accompanied to it. This was too powerful; he was too powerful, and she could feel him taking the lead, gaining control over her; his lips kissed her with more longing than hers, and the other John was slowly sinking in…

"Take off your dress… "


	10. Chapter 10

The woman in the glass had long fiery red hair that fell on her shoulders like a bright red curtain, her eyes sparkled with a dark melancholic grey, her lips were full and tainted bright red. Her pale skin glowed in the bathroom light; a little pink pimple appeared close to her nose, ruining her perfect veil of porcelain skin. Adding a last coating of mascara, she opened her small pillbox, sighing as she noticed the single pill in the orange bottle. She dropped it into her palm and looked down at it. She shrugged, putting the pill back into the box; it was her last, she might need it more urgently.

She scrutinized herself into the mirror. Had she lost or gained or lost weight? Had she grown wrinkles? Was her skin too pale? Were her lips not full enough? And her eyes, where they too big or too grey? She put her hands on both sides of the sink holding herself as a sob almost left her lips.

_What is this man doing to you? You're pathetic. C'mon Gage! Get a fucking grip._

Oh! And she was hearing voices now. Gage looked up. Two weeks had gone by since the last time they'd seen each other. Since the last time she'd felt his lips on hers, skin against skin. She gasped raising her head to face her reflection. John sure knew how to ruin a party. She chuckled.

_-FLASHBACK-_

_That night in the car…_

"_Gage, I can't do this!" he sighed, looking away from her naked body._

"_You're already doing it Johnny…" she held his face. Deep pools of blue, filled with uncertainty and innocence. So much innocence…too much innocence…_

"_No…Liz…I can't…" he took her hands away from his neck holding them sturdily._

"_You want this. I do too. Just us Johnny…now…here…" she leaned down to kiss his neck. _

"_Oh Gage…" he moaned as she nipped on his collarbone. His erection resurged and she smiled a wicked grin of victory in her head._

"_Oh Johnny…" she accompanied, grinding her hips against his erection. She rose to take his earlobe between her teeth; squeezing just a little._

"_Touch me…" she'd gasped taking his hands into hers courageously. Directing his large hands on her body, she pulled herself back…so he can admire the view. She pushed his hands upwards from her waist, sliding up her sides, then she paused momentarily before they reached her breasts._

_She let go of his hands; giving him free will to explore at his own pace… as he desired. Gage opened her eyes, looking into his blue seas that shun in the night-light. The sound of the cars muted in the back, and as they paraded outside their prison of steel, their lights reflected against the window of the back seat, creating a myriad of lights dancing to their side. His hands finally rose, cupping both breasts with his hands. Tension released from around her shoulders and John's thumb pushed on her nipples lightly. _

_Wow…She hadn't felt this in a long time. She closed her eyes at the exquisite sensation. She moaned in joy; and pride aware of the way her body reacted to him. John pulled her down, and bite into her neck unexpectedly. It was painful; she winced; but quickly recovered. If that's how he liked it…_

_Their lustful encounter was disturbed again, by the brooding noise emanating from John's pocket. Her eyes shot close, as his hands stopped stroking her and his mouth separated from her neck. In a nanosecond, he was staring up at her; baby blue eyes lost and hurt, muttering a quick apology to her and helping her with her dress as fast as he could. He exited the backseat of his black 4x4, leaving her to put her dress back on. She heard him from outside, talking to someone on the phone; it was probably Liz…she was probably getting suspicious, sniffing her nose over his tone on the other end of the line, trying to discern a lie in his voice._

"_Yeah…I know we're late…Gage talked to the receptionist…yeah it's available…Sometime in September I think…Yeah…I love you too baby." He finished._

_Back into the car, she was seated into the passenger's seat next to John. She could feel a palpable tension from his body; probably anger…she looked up at him unconcerned with his mood._

"_Are you happy?" he gripped the wheel tightly. She could see the veins on his fists straightening._

"_Do I have a reason to be?" she answered bitterly._

"_Never…ever pull something like that again Gage!" he hissed, trying to contain his anguish._

"_You didn't seem to mind…" she muttered provocatively._

"_It doesn't matter!" he hissed louder. Gage shifted lightly in her seat, and turned to face him._

"_This…is…wrong." He said slowly, his voice calmer. He looked up; completely confused and baffled. Gage's expression remained blank and impassive and John's eyes narrowed._

"_Don't you feel any guilt? Ever?" he asked, bewildered._

"_You've asked me this already John…" she started. "My answer hasn't changed. No." she replied sternly._

"_What kind of person are you?" he asked, his eyes growing wider with shock and…sadness?_

"_Cut it John! I just know what I want, I don't have horns and a pointy tail!" she snapped._

"_I wish you did…" he said softly, his mood apparently lighter._

"_Would that turn you on?" she smiled coquettishly, and John's jaw tensed again._

"_Why do you do this Gage? Why me? What have I done to you?" he asked pitifully._

_Gage shifted into her seat again, looking through her window away from John. She'd never asked herself that question…what had he done? What had he done to deserve what she put him through? What had any of the men she'd seduced done to deserve this?_

_What was it about married men...or perhaps men in general? The ones she decided to lay her eyes on. Why couldn't she just go for the ones who were not taken? As she thought about it, the only men she'd had serious affairs had all been married. From Mr Dekker; in tenth grade to present day John Cena…_

"_What are you thinking about?"_

"_Mr Dekker…" she answered dreamily._

"_Who's that?"_

"_My science teacher in tenth grade…"_

"_What about him?" _

_Gage looked back at John._

"_You denied me sex tonight John, you've been denying me sex since forever…why would I quench your thirst for knowledge about my past?" _

_John's eyes widened for a second, and he opened his mouth to say something but he closed it again._

"_You wanted to know why you? There- I only do married men Johnny; that's all that turns me on. I could contempt myself with young men ready to lay the world at my feet but, I'll always want more John, it's like it'll never…" she drifted._

"_Like it'll never be enough?" he finished. Gage nodded._

"_Never enough. With men like…well like you…I know I can enjoy myself; well aware its not going to last. You know…like a debit card…"_

"_A…debit…card?" he asked, slightly amused. Gage chuckled._

"_That's all I could come up with. All pecuniary thoughts aside." She giggled._

"_But you…John Cena…you play in a different league." She continued, staring up at the side of his face._

"_I don't play at all." _

"_That's what you all think. It's normal to feel the way you do…guilty? But that's what you get for obeying two masters." She explained._

"_You seem to know a great deal about this."_

"_I've observed; learned with time...Don't worry, you'll get used to it." _

"_Gage, I've told you…I don't want to do this…I've never cheated on anyone…I love Liz."_

"_Wait! Not even a girlfriend in high school? College?" she questioned, and he shook his head._

"_Please…tell me you've had sex with someone else than your wife…" she gaped at him, searching his eyes for the truth._

"_Oh Baby Jesus…" she sighed._

"_Here we go…I knew we'd come to this…"_

"_How? I mean…you're rich, you're good-looking, and…you're rich!" she gaped at him, and John chuckled._

"_I thought you said all pecuniary details aside…"_

"_This is something else Cena…John-I-fucking-fucked-one-woman-only- Cena!" she covered her face with her two hands._

"_No need to shout it on all roofs."_

"_I just…I don't know…I thought you had…I thought this wasn't new to you!"_

"_A sentence Gage…" he smiled. "Does it conclude it then?"_

"_It doesn't even introduce it. I still want you badly, and much more now." She added, a malicious grin on her face. John's smiled faded, and he tensed again around the wheel._

"_Do you want me John?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yeah. Really. Isn't it obvious?"_

"_You're very confusing; you send mixed signals."_

"_You do same." He said, Gage furrowed her eyebrows at him._

"_Some day you're smiling funny, flirty Gage, the next you're closed-up, dark, steamy Gage. It's hard to know which one is the real."_

"_Which one do you prefer?" _

"_Honestly?" he asked, and she nodded._

"_I don't know where it lies between the two but…" he stared down at her for a second, she nodded and he continued._

"_I liked the one who told me about her insecurities at that barbecue; next to the pool…"_

_Oh…Security breach…_

"_Okay." _

"_So…your science teacher…"_

"_You don't want to know about that. Let's get going, we've been parked here for a while, Liz will worry." She objected, turning back the window._

"_Since when do you worry about Liz?" John asked putting the key back into the ignition. Gage turned to him momentarily, and cocked her head to the side._

"_Since I've wanted to fuck her husband."_

_-FLASHBACK-_

John untied his shoelaces, putting down his duffle bag on the floor. He slipped out of his shoes and his sweaty t-shirt; Liz had gone for an impromptu meeting with her sister for the modelling agency. He'd had the week off because of all the fuss about Summerslam. They gave him a brief summer break, before they loaded work upon him. So many interviews, appearances, photo shoots, signings, commercials, and all the signing for the derived merchandise. John sighed. Despite all that; the one thing that had plagued his mind was a fiery red head, with a skin as soft as satin, and plunging grey eyes.

He stripped off his shorts and underwear, and headed for the shower. Under the hot water, he started to think. He could not even escape her in the privacy of his home; she'd always be there haunting his thoughts. She talked about guilt the other day in the car, but what he felt did not come close to it. He felt good…alive; he felt master of his life for once. It was like she'd contaminated him with a disease; it was eating up his defences slowly; but would he ever go through with her? He'd still felt he was the same man when he'd come home to Liz.

Was he that heartless? Had he become like her? She said he'd get used to this; but how does she know I'll go for it? How can she be so sure? Perhaps…she isn't; and she might just be testing her luck.

He'd wanted her so badly though. In that backseat, after she'd left, there was still the smell of her on his clothes, in the car, every where; daring him to go back to her, and go through with once and for all. Gage looked so vulnerable; so accessible when he'd touched her; so different from her usual self. He wished he could see her like that more; but would he have the guts to put his hand on her again.

_The real question was…how long will you resist putting your hands on her._

He sighed again wrapping a towel around himself as he exited the shower. He closed his eyes; and automatically, the vision of long white legs around his waist, red toenails, and long red locks slipping through his fingers. It was very unsettling; all this desire. He was becoming so absent-minded, so oblivious. He looked down at the floor has he dried his short hair with another towel. Walking towards the bed, he saw little red toenails…long white legs; his face shoot upwards immediately.

"Hey Johnny." She smiled warmly. Like the angel of death, she was at the same time welcome and uninvited. She was jaw-dropping beautiful; she wore what looked like a leather bustier dress, hair in soft vintage curls that fell graciously down her shoulders and onto the bed as she rested on her elbows, legs crossed, bright red lips into a smile, certainly laughing at his staggered face.

"I've missed you." She added, rising from her elbows and sitting up right.

"I've missed you more." He poured, not even knowing he had. She gaped at him for a second, then smiled widely; all teeth showing; apparently flattered by his confession.

"Where to?" he asked, looking up then down at her.

"The Jaworski exhibition. Remember?" she stood up to face him. John nodded.

"The photographer…Oh." He acquiesced. The silence was there; but it was not heavy. Her eyes gleamed with hope and John could feel it was directed to him. Blame him for being a man and loving it.

"I took an extra ticket in case you'd want to come…" she broke their stare, searching for her purse and produced a wide black piece of paper and handed it to him.

"But…how are you getting there?" he frowned…concerned?

"I have a car now." She reassured him. It hit him. This wasn't the place…nor the time; they were in _his_ house, in his conjugal bedroom, he was in a towel, and she…no words come as remotely close as the truth; may be drop dead gorgeous.

"You like my dress? It's by _Yves Saint Laurent._"

"I have no idea who that is; but you look stunning Gage." He gaped. She reached up and pulled his chin upwards to close his mouth.

"Leather can do that to a woman." She chuckled, running her hands through her Hollywood curls. He wanted to run his hands in them too.

"I hope you didn't have any plans for tonight…" she asked.

_I'd cancel them anyway…_

"No; nothing." He breathed, not being able to say anything else. The effect of this woman's stare was way too obvious.

"It would be unfortunate to miss this. The guy has very good pictures." She looked up at him. It was like she was saying something else with her eyes, a proposal.

"I'm sure he does."

"Oh John…" she moved forwards, and her hands landed on his naked chest. She brushed with her fingertips his pecs, his abs, the trace of his hipbones, and then her index ran down the spot of his happy trail. He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply, then grabbed her wrists.

"No…please." He begged, holding her hands in the air. She held her hands out, asking him to release her.

"I'll see you later." She smiled warmly again, she turned away quickly; out of his room. He heard the click-clack of her black peep-toe heels on the stairs and finally, the door slammed downstairs. He stared at the spot where he'd last seen her, and inhaled sharply the piquant odour she left behind her.

_At the Michael Murphy Gallery._

"Miss Jansen; good to see you again!" Mr Barns, looking his usual coloured self. He wore a bright pink shirt tucked in navy blue pants and a bright yellow bow-tie. She smiled at his audacity.

"Barns, the pleasure's all mine." She greeted handing him her invitation.

"You didn't come with your err…friend?" he asked, looking sideways. Gage's face fell slightly.

"Not this time no." she said, without further explanation. He smiled a compassionate smile to her.

"Darling, look at you…you should have three men on your arm. Here." He handed her a glass of champagne with a strawberry in the bottom of the glass.

"Rather be alone than with the wrong person…" she pushed her hair back.

"You look lovely dear, c'mon give a push to the girls and…go get 'em."

"Debauched old man…" she tapped his shoulder playfully and he laughed.

"Huh Darling…" he called again and Gage looked back at him.

"Mr Jaworski is here; he was very pleased to see your name on the guests' list. He asked me to tell you to join him at the bar when you arrived." He said, winking at her, she responded with another wink.

"Very…debauched old man!" she mouthed at him.

The Michael Murphy was at its splendour; the wooden floor perfectly polished even reflected the light from the mini spotlights, soft music played in the back. She trusted his taste in order to make a good expo. The room buzzed with noise; there were journalists…and well other people who might be important as well. She recognized the photographs of Nicholas; abstract, intrinsic, and imposing. She stopped in front of a water droplet in which the night-lights reflected; she smiled sipping on her champagne. She walked to the next; it was a woman, under water in a long white dress, with eyes closed, twisting her body in a pretty uncomfortable posture. She looked around, photographs of the same woman paraded, with raven hair and wearing the same white dress. She smiled; Nicholas had finally found a muse of his own. She moved to the far end of the gallery, noticing a photograph that covered the dislocated wall's length. She gasped.

"Gage Jansen." A familiar voice called besides her.

"Nicholas Jaworski." She turned, smiling warmly at him.

"I feared I'd never see you again…" he took her hand and kissed it lightly. Nicholas Jaworski; thirty, tall with and blond curly hair he'd tied to the back of his head. He wore a dark blue suit, with a white linen shirt, unbuttoned at the top.

"You're beautiful…as ever Miss Jansen." He said, squeezing her hand gently.

"Flattery will get you no where near my good graces Nicholas." She replied coldly, turning to the photograph in front of her.

"I...I am sorry Miss Jansen; it's one of the most appreciated pictures of the collection." He pleaded.

"You mean…you've exposed it before?" she turned to stare at him.

"Yes. I love it very much too, I've had many offers for it."

"Oh…Nicholas." she sighed.

"You're beautiful; I wanted the world to see it. I wanted the world to see I saw you like this." He pointed proudly to the photograph.

"You know how I feel about being a muse…" she sipped on her champagne.

"Just this one. I had to fight with Céline to expose it." He gestured, pointing to a woman with long raven hair, talking to a journalist. The same woman on almost all the photographs; Gage looked up pitifully at him; then back at the painting.

She was sitting on the floor, with her legs beneath her and her arms between her legs; her face looking upwards, eyes closed and lips parted softly. She was naked, but both her feet and hands were covered in paint. Her hair fell loosely, covering her breasts. The ends of her hair had been dipped into various colours so, the remains dropped to the floor. It had all been Nicholas' idea; he'd only seen a few of her paintings back then, yet he incorporated her art so perfectly into the photograph; it ceased to be just another photograph of nude woman. It spoke volumes about her. It was her entire life in a photograph; her and her art, period.

"Miss Jansen; this is Céline; my muse." Nicholas introduced distracting her from her reverie. The woman with long raven hair appeared, her small dark eyes made her appear like some fallen angel; they were big and her little pointy nose fitted her slim face perfectly.

"Enchantée." Gage said, stretching her hand. Her eyes widened slightly.

"Enchantée." She replied, letting her French accent be heard, taking Gage's hand warmly.

"Nicholas was not mistaken; you are very beautiful."

"I can return the compliment." Gage said, raising her glass and taking a hasty sip; another journalist called Céline and left Gage and Nicholas alone once more.

"Miss Jansen; America seems to love you; I heard you're exposing in a week as well." Nicholas said. Absentmindedly, he tucked her hand under his and walk her into the room.

"Indeed. I hope you will be present."

"Oh, I would not miss that for all the vodka in Russia." He grinned, and Gage smiled.

"Are you sure? You know I'm a fine lover of your country's vodka. It's my favourite."

"Perhaps, we could share some drinks later if you don't mind."

"Oh no. This is your night Nicholas; I will not give you a way out of this; not even for a fine bottle of _Zyr._" Gage laughed as they stopped in front of another photograph.

"Who talked about _Zyr_? _Imperia _most certainly would do for a woman like you." He flattered, taking her hand once more and brought it to his lips softly as he looked into her eyes. Their stare was broken as some called Mr Jaworski in the other end of the room. He let go of her hand.

"If you'll excuse-me…don't disappear. Please." He said softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, and kissing her cheek lightly. She might've blushed for a second, but as soon as he left the sensation faded with him. A waiter came by, taking her empty glass of champagne, and replacing it with a full one. He offered her a warm smile as she thanked him and vanished between the people. She wandered around every dislocated wall, looking at photographs. A woman came to her accompanied by another man; they both smiled up at her.

"You're _La Dame en peinture_?" A strawberry blond woman said, smiling widely at her. Gage eyed them both quizzically.

"The woman on the photograph over there?" she pointed to the photograph of her naked. Gage nodded lightly.

"He must be one lucky man." The lady replied; her smile directed at over her shoulder.

"Who?" Gage asked. The woman smiled innocently, taking the man's hand and leading him away; enjoying their own company. Gage shrugged, turning back to the photograph of Céline in the grass wearing yet another white dress. A large frame in a black suit obstructed her line of vision, so she raised her face to look up; one of the mini spotlights came right into her vision and she blinked slightly as her vision adjusted again.

"…John."


	11. Chapter 11

"I didn't think you'd come."

"You said it'd be unfortunate to miss it, so here I am." He smiled _that _smile of his.

"You shall never cease to surprise me Johnny." She replied; sipping on her strawberry champagne. Another waiter stopped in front of John, offering him a flute of champagne he gladly took. John looked back down at her after taking an appreciative sip.

"Would you like to take a look around?" she asked, and John nodded. She looked down at his arm tentatively. No. She turned to walk ahead, but John grabbed her hand lightly, and linked his arm with hers. Gage looked up as her heart lifted to her throat.

"John…" she said, scanning the room for photographers and perhaps witnesses.

"Gage, I am married; not contagious. C'mon show me around." He said and she smiled. Her arm settled into his, and his proximity brought warmth to ever-cold body.

All looks were on them as they walked passed the photographs of Nicholas. It was funny, but being on John's arm was conforming in such a crowd. She felt safe, almost like she was at her house; comfortably wrapped into her blanket on her bed. It was different than anything she'd felt towards a man so far and; it kept her distracted from the fact that she still wanted him on her hunting board; very badly.

"But it's the same woman on all of them right?" he asked as they stopped in front of another photograph of Céline in her white dress.

"Yes."

"But why?"

"It's called a muse John. All artists have a muse. Someone who is a source of inspiration, of drive, and in most cases, all your work is revolving around that person."

"All artists?" he asked, raising an eyebrow then looking back at the photograph.

"All of them. Without a muse; everything is less…" she explained, raising her hands trying to find her words.

"Intense?" John said.

"Yes. Some people might get inspiration from places, or music too; it all really depends." She smiled brightly.

"I love the effect this place has on you." He chuckled as they walked to the next photograph.

"A fish in the water?" she asked.

"A fish in water." He nodded.

"And you? Do you have a muse?" he smiled down at her, as they walked, their arms linked. Gage looked up at John; and his beautiful face in the bright light of the room.

"Hmm; we could say that." Her face darkened as she thought of the white bird painted in front of her stairs.

"Oh? Who if I may ask?" he pushed. They stopped their walk and the clack of her heels echoed loudly; she looked back up at John. His blue eyes sparkling with that inner shine of his.

_You._

"Miss Jansen." A voice intruded their bulb. She turned, and Nicholas accompanied by Céline stood behind both of them.

"Nicholas. This is my friend, John. John, this is Nicholas; the man of the night and his muse Céline." She introduced. John nodded politely at Nicholas and Céline before shacking their hands.

"Miss Jansen, I hope you convinced your friend to buy one of my photographs." Nicholas smiled.

"John is not very keen on art."

"But there _must _be one that catches your eye…" Nicholas said looking around the immense room.

"Aren't they all sold out?" Gage asked.

"I'm the only one to decide if they are sold out or not Miss Jansen." He smiled, moving closer to Gage.

"I see humility is still not one of your qualities Nicholas."

"Just like beauty is still one of yours Miss Jansen. Time seems to have no effect on you." There was a silence around them for a while, before Céline spoke and began a conversation with John.

"If you would please excuse us; I need to speak with Miss Jansen in private." Nicholas said looking at both John and Céline. John nodded coldly, as Nicholas led Gage away to the far end of the gallery.

"I believe we were about to conclude something before we were interrupted Miss Jansen." He said, smirking smartly. Nicholas was a beautiful man; very cultivated, he'd grown up in one of those families who heartened the expression of innate talent with parents who encouraged him into Photography.

"Nicholas; I told you I'm not giving you a way out of this, furthermore, I don't think Céline would appreciate."

"Miss Jansen, I do believe my interest in you is very visible. If there was anything between Céline and me; trust me, she would've burned down this place." He chuckled snuggling closer and putting his hand on the slope of her back.

"Nicholas, you are messing with the wrong woman…"

"Men are only interested in the things they can't have Miss Jansen. I thought you of all people would know." He smirked. His face turned lightly and she noticed his gaze was turned to John.

"I am well aware of that." She replied turning to look at John. Then she met his blue eyes piercing through the crowd, gazing intently at hers. His eyes narrowed slightly, before he turned back to Céline. A chill ran down her spine.

"Then you can understand there is nothing you will say that will make me change my mind." Nicholas grabbed her chin between his index and his thumb; Gage frowned putting her hand over his gently then pushing it away. He chuckled.

"…Nothing at all Miss Jansen." He stated, still smiling as if mesmerized by her.

"What do you want exactly Nicholas?"

"I want you to pose for me again." He whispered, his hand climbing up the slope of her back.

"_Just_ pose for you?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Of course not. But I am a patient man Gage; one step at the time." He replied confidently and she chuckled.

"You are so hypnotic Miss Jansen; a delish for my eyes. I really would like you to pose again."

"Nude?" she asked, and he nodded.

"That's the only way I'd like to see you."

"Not in a white dress? Like Céline?"

"No, just you." He took her hand again, and caressed her knuckles with his thumb.

"So cold." He frowned.

"Like Amsterdam." She smiled gracefully.

"Like Amsterdam indeed. Do you ever plan on going back?" he asked, not letting go of her hand.

"Not really. May be in a few years. Do you want to go back to Russia?"

"May be in a few years. For now, I'd like to enjoy your company some more."

"Apart from enjoying my company, what else do you plan on doing while you're here?"

"For now; you are the only distraction from my oh-so-boring existence Miss Jansen."

"Oh, I am a distraction now!"

"Oh yes." He said. "In every way."

"I think we should go back there, your friend might have learned French by now." He patted her back.

As they walked John and Céline were standing in front of _her _photograph. The one in the centre of the room; her body tensed slightly as she saw John starring.

"I hope Céline kept you good company." Nicholas asked John, who simply nodded not taking his eyes off the photograph. Nicholas noticed John's unflinching stare and stood besides him.

"Picturesque isn't it?" he murmured next to John. "A gift I shall never stop to thank you for Miss Jansen. I love the contrast of colours in her hair and the paint." He continued.

"How much is it?" John finally spoke up.

"It's not on sale. Anymore." Nicholas replied sharply, making John frown.

"I'd like to have a copy." John said. Gage chuckled before she took a sip of her champagne. She was starting to feel light-headed and slightly amused by all this.

"Usually, I don't do replicas. But as you are a friend of Miss Jansen, I'll get you one."

"Thank you." John nodded politely. "If you would please excuse us now." John continued, putting his hand by Gage's side and patting her back slightly. Gage moved along with John, away from Nicholas and Céline, under the pressure of his powerful hand in her back.

"You didn't tell me you'd posed for _him_." He said, they were at the bar now, leaning against it, facing each other.

"I didn't?" she feigned ignorance and he glared.

"I posed for Nicholas."

"Thank you for the information."

"You are welcome." Gage replied. She had not taken one of those her magical pills that made her so numb, but the champagne was starting to act.

"So you like it…" she continued, smiling lightly now.

"We could say that." John shrugged, shifting uncomfortably in his black suit.

"You're very handsome tonight John. I'm happy you came."

"I'm happy I did; that freak was all over you like a shark. He could barely hold it down."

"What can I do about it?" she giggled.

"Nothing."

"Are you jealous Johnny?" she raised an eyebrow.

"No, but I told you; I err…look after you." John scratched the back of his head lightly avoiding her stare purposefully. Of course he was jealous; between the moments they'd recognized they wanted each other to the conclusion that he still didn't give in; they had established a strange relationship. It was not what she wanted, but with that, she could still wait until he was ready, then after she'd leave him alone.

"Big daddy Johnny." She giggled and he frowned amused too.

"Where are you going to put it?"

"Honestly, I have no idea."

"I'd pay good money to see Liz's reaction when she finds it in her living room." Gage cocked her head to the side.

"She'd have a failure." John chuckled.

"Miss Jansen; oh- your friend came." Mr Barns interrupted; appearing magically from behind the bar Gage nodded before John greeted him.

"Well, I am pleased you are here I feared for her safety and the dress's in the company of all these men…" The grey-haired man joked.

"Barns, can we help you with something?" Gage pushed.

"Oh yes! Silly me. I forgot to tell you; usually we make replicas of paintings before exposing them _au cas ou…_you know something happens. The sooner we make them, the better."

"Really? Oh, I think have them in my car, I'll bring them right away. Excuse me John." Gage put her glass down on the bar, and Mr Barns turned to John.

"Have you no manners?" Mr Barns told John as Gage walked towards the exit.

"What?" John frowned.

"Don't you think she'll need some help? Hush!"

"Oh, Okay…" John dropped his glass on the bar, obfuscated.

_In the underground parking lot of the Michael Murphy Gallery…_

She was bending forward trying to reach something from the backseat of a black wrangler Jeep, her leather hugging her so tightly she'd lifted one of her legs back, her heel pointing sharply in the air John chuckled.

"I hope you're enjoying the view Johnny!" she said, still fetching for something in her backseat.

"How did you know it was me?"

"The sounds; your footsteps, they make a sort of repetitive pattern when you walk."

"Oh. Where is your degree in human behaviour again?"

" . I'm just a good observer Johnny." She said, her frame retreated from the back seat, her hands full with papers from a portfolio of pictures.

"Nice car." John looked carefully at the black high rise Wrangler Jeep. It still smelt of fresh paint and detergent; not the car a lady would've chosen, it had a wild safari look to it.

"I know. I love it already. It does this cool thing with the roof, you know it's retractable." She smiled brightly, still managing the portfolio she had in hand.

"Well…welcome to the twenty-first century Lady Jansen." John laughed.

"Thank you Lord Cena. Help me with these." She gave him the portfolio without caring to take notice in the sarcasm of his comment.

"I thought I had left them in the car, but this afternoon I had to get the windows smoked so I took them back. Sucks for Barns." She shrugged, grabbing the portfolio out of his hands and putting them back into the back seat.

It was cold in the parking lot, and her bustier dress had left a lot of uncovered flesh at the mercy of the cold fall winds. Gage rubbed her hands together.

"Are you cold?"

"No you can keep your jacket."

"I didn't even-"

"You don't need to, I already know what you're going to do just by looking at you. I'm ten moves ahead of you John." She said, taking her purse from the backseat and locking the doors of her car.

"So no thank you. I'll be fine."

Had he ever seen more stubborn woman in his life? Probably not. He'd seen women with daddy issues, trust issues, self esteem issues, ego issues, but Gage topped the list by far. She just had issues; in general; and two personalities. He took off his jacket nevertheless and put it around her shoulders; her body stiffened under his touch, but surprisingly, she did not fight him back.

"You can't take a hint can you?" she whispered looking down at the concrete.

"I only do what I think is right to do." He put his hands on either of her shoulders and she looked up at him. Grey eyes coming alive, her lashes lifting, they darkened with seriousness and sadness.

_No._

"You should stay away from me Johnny. I'm no good." She smiled a feeble smile.

She was right, and he damn sure knew she was trouble; but like that other guy; what could he do about it? Nothing. He wanted to keep clear from her, stay away once and for all and let life get back to normal but that was what he mind told him; his body and his heart just couldn't get the message. John shook his head.

"You never give up don't you?" she asked.

"You have no idea." He chuckled.

"What do you want from me John?" she breathed. Her grey eyes were glossy and sad. She looked exhausted; not physically but the fatigue could show in her irises, suddenly her pupils dilated and she inhaled deeply. The same way she had that first time near the pool, she pulled him closer to her, this time, she pulled his head lower by his tie, and leaned back against the car. When his face was an inch away from hers, she waited a second, her eyes holding his into a duel. So many things paraded in her grey orbs at the same time, it was hard to keep up. She stopped moving, letting go of his tie slowly and breathing slowly; she didn't move as their foreheads connected.

"Do you only do what is right Johnny?" she whispered, her voice cracked.

"To every rule, there is an exception."

"An exception I am then." She smiled, and John nodded. Her lips were cold as always; they were always so cold. But against his, he felt them soften and warm to his contact. If they'd been in a movie, it'd be the part opera would be playing in the back, making this kiss much more dramatic than it really was. He almost heard the _Lacrymosa _of Mozart in his head as her lips parted to welcome his.

But this was as real as it could be, and the ache in his body was just same. It was like receiving painful blows on every part of his body; without the pain. He was so powerless in the intimacy of this moment, when her tongue responded to his; stroke for stroke and her breaths were cut just as short as his. Gage was intense, too intense; she was draining away all his strength, his chest heaved like he'd run a marathon. Eyes closed, he still felt every sense of his being fully awake, he felt her leg between his, her arm in his back, her chest against his, the tip of her nose caressing his and finally, he felt her delicate curls between his fingers.

How could he come alive so brusquely; when all his life he'd always followed the paved way he'd been entitled to. This felt like reawakening; he was a teenager again; hiding from his parents and friends, to enjoy the vile pleasures a woman could bring to him. He kissed her harder, with more vigour again and she moaned in his mouth. He felt her hands, everywhere on him, and every part of him that she touched came alive, one after the other like she was a witch putting a spell over him. He'd never acted so foolishly in his entire life.

"Wow…Don't you ever breath?" Gage chuckled, breaking the spell and freeing him.

"Sorry." He muttered his voice thick with lust.

"You are such a great kisser Johnny." She smiled.

"I take it that you're surprised."

"Delightfully." She smiled widely but as soon as it was there, it was gone. Her smile faded and she dropped her hands and her head remained against his chest.

"It could be so good John…we could have amazing sex together, we'd do things you cannot imagine, in ways you cannot possible envision." She murmured against his chest. His eyes widened.

"You want me…yet you still don't want to fuck. What kind of man are you? Why don't you just give in, then I'll leave you alone…" she whispered again.

"Is that what you want? Have your way and leave me alone?" he asked.

"Trust me, I don't have much more to offer."

"You're wrong. I wish I just knew you better Gage…"

There was a silence, put Gage remained against his chest, and where her head laid, he could feel the heavy pounding his heart, continuing uncontrollably. The Lacrymosa had stopped playing, now it was a pitiful lament of Chopin that filled his head. Gage finally struggled out of his grip.

"This is the part you tell me you can't do this and leave Johnny, you're late." She smiled another feeble smile.

_Oh Gage…_

She could be so hateful sometimes yet he was seeing her in a different light everyday.

"Let's make a deal." He said and she frowned.

" Friends…well for now then I promise to think about it."

"Think about what?"

"Well you know…your…expectations regarding my body."

"You're not ten, you can say _fuck_ you know…" she chuckled. "You'll _think _about it?"

"Yes."

"But until then you want us to be friends…"

"Yes."

"Isn't that what we've been doing all along?"

"No, not really. You've been chasing me, pestering me with all kinds of threats."

"Yeah…that's more like me." She teased.

"So."

"I'm not used to this John. I don't do the _friendship_ thing." She snorted like it was a filthy word.

"You can try." He pushed, Gage rolled her eyes at him. "But that'll imply you'll have to tell me more about yourself." He said, and she rolled her eyes again.

"Oh John; you are so strenuous." She gasped, looking away. "I can't be friends with you. I can barely stay in the same room with you." She said exasperated.

His frown lifted and the tension in his face evaporated. Was it that bad for her as well? Where they both tangled into this attraction they couldn't do anything about? John's face fell as Gage still refused to look up at him.

"Fine." She breathed, and finally those lovely grey eyes came to meet his. "I'll do it." She shrugged and John gaped at her.

"Deal." She inhaling deeply then stretching her hand to his.

This man was really nothing good for her either. Gage stretched her hand out to John, but instead of just taking it, he pulled her closer, and kissed her again; and she forgot the rest of the world then.

What was this magic he was exercising over her? It was all so new; she had diverted from her path, and now she was walking into the wild, with nothing else but a promise of someday getting what she wanted.

John's kisses were like balm on her burns; just that he was at the same time the balm and the burn. It was so cold in that parking, but yet so warm in his arms. She moved out of them when he pulled back.

"Do you do that with your friends?"

"No. Consider this as a…pay-check before the Debit Card." He chuckled making an allusion to the last time they'd talked in the car.

"All pecuniary thoughts aside." She said and nodded. They stared intently at each other, before someone cleared their throat loudly behind them. John and Gage both turned hastily. Nicholas stood a car or two away from them. He had a scarf in his hand and silently strolled towards them.

"Nicholas." Gage said.

"Miss Jansen, I saw you leaving and I thought you'd need this." He showed the black cotton scarf.

"But I see John has preceded me. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude." He said bitterly looking at John.

"It's okay Nicholas, we were going back inside." she said.

"Hum…I'll leave now." John said looking down at Gage.

"Mr Jaworski; great exhibition; I'll be waiting for the photograph." John greeted Nicholas curtly then turned to Gage, his back to Nicholas so he couldn't see them. Gage took off his jacket and handed it back to John.

"Drive safely please. I want to know when you get home." He pushed a strand of hair out of her face and planted a small kiss on her forehead. He looked down at her tentatively, before he blinked away and let her go. He fished his car keys out of his pockets.

Nicholas extended his hand out to Gage and she walked back towards him as John pulled out of the parking and drove away. Nicholas put his hand on her back protectively and smirked.

"It seems I have competition Miss Jansen." He scoffed.

Ooo


	12. Chapter 12

00: 50 a.m_._

_**(Home & safe, I love it that you worry. It's new. GJ.)**_

John looked down at his screen questioningly. It was a text from a masked number; he concentrated on the initials at the end and thought deeply._ Gage… _His body froze and he looked over at Liz as she left the shower, wrapped in a towel.

00: 53 a.m.

**(**_**How did you get my number? And you are welcome. JC.)**_

He hit send immediately and incidentally turned down the volume of his iPhone before walking over to Liz.

"How was day baby? I hope you weren't too bored." She asked sweetly, sitting down in the chair before she started to dry her hair.

"It was…okay, I did a few-'

"You will never guess who I ran into today…" she interrupted. "Remember Cali from high school right? Well, she was with her husband and they just bought a house downtown, so I told her hey, why not come dinner at ours and we could catch up on all this time, you think that's a good idea too right?"

"Yeah…I mean, wasn't she the one who spread the word that you were pregnant or something?" he frowned and Liz rolled her eyes.

"It's all behind us now you know. You should've seen the bag she had, at first I thought it was a Birkin, but I took a closer look and I noticed hers was longer than the one we bought in Paris. I didn't say it out loud of course, she would've been so embarrassed." She chuckled.

John watched and listened to her; mesmerized by the shallowness of her conversation. But it was just that smile on her face that made it so worth it; Liz was his high school sweetheart, he'd always loved her dearly and John Cena Sir, and Carol all loved her. He repeated the same mantra to himself every time he would find himself in doubts.

"…So I told Amy we couldn't take a girl with natural hair, it's just not…orthodox you know, but in the end, she took her anyways." She sighed sadly, holding her brush against her hair in front of the mirror.

"As long as you had a good day…" he kissed her temple and she smiled, but her smile fell slightly and he frowned.

"Johnny…" she started. "There's something about Gage I noticed."

His fingers rooted solidly on the armchair, her chocolate brown eyes looked apologetically at him.

"I think; she scared of you John…" she breathed.

_Well…well…well…_

"She's kind of distant when you're around, I think she does not know which way to go about you; and I know you don't like her." She murmured.

An internal sigh of relief eased the tension in his body. Liz was so far from the truth; he almost wanted to hide somewhere and burst into mindless laughter.

"Lizzie, don't think too much about this, she's such a strange woman…"

That was all he could say; he rubbed her shoulders in a little massage and she closed her eyes in appreciation. Yes, a strange woman he'd gotten to know so much lately.

"C'mon let's go to bed." He tapped her shoulder lightly, to wake her up.

"I'm not really tired…"

"Aren't you…and what do you have in mind?"

"Well…I was sure you'd have an idea or two…" she grinned coquettishly, untying her towel slowly, damp hair still falling over her shoulder.

OO

00:57 a.m.

_**(I always manage to get what I want Johnny. How is Liz?)**_

01:23 a.m.

_**(Goodnight.)**_

John looked down at his screen in the darkness of the room. His phone in hand, he silently slipped out of bed, next to Liz's sleeping form, and went downstairs to the kitchen. He began to type an answer.

02:02 a.m.

_**(Sorry for not replying earlier. You are dangerous. Lol. She is okay, she thinks you are scared of me. You should be sleeping now so good night too.)**_

He sat in the couch in which he was the night Gage had come for dinner. He could still picture her; in her tight white dress, her long porcelain legs neatly folded beneath her. She discharged so much grace and calm; resembling the damsels he read about in school. His screen lighted up with a text message.

02:10 a.m.

_**(You have no idea how dangerous I can be Johnny. Scared heh? Liz; like you will never cease to surprise me. What are you doing up? Go to bed.)**_

02: 11 a.m.

_**(Sending text messages to dangerous women, and you?)**_

02: 13 a.m.

_**(Painting.)**_

02:14 a.m.

_**(Do you ever stop? Don't you get some rest?)**_

02:15 a.m.

_**(I'll get plenty of rest when I'll die.)**_

John chortled; he stood, moving to the window in the kitchen. The lights were still on up stairs, were her room supposedly was. Her curtains were light and he could see the ghost of a frame besides the window.

02:17 a.m.

_**(I'd pay good money to see what you're doing…I love your car. My first car looked exact same in green and less CIA-agent-like.)**_

The frame shifted, and she stood up, certainly holding her phone in her hand.

02: 17 a.m.

_(__**Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free? Come check it out…)**_

He looked up at the window again. The frame behind the curtain waved in his direction. He moved away in disbelief. She couldn't see him from here…he was too far…his phone lighted again.

02:18 a.m.

_**(You've been watching ever since I came for dinner the first night. Think I hadn't noticed. .)**_

02:19 a.m.

_**(Busted. How did you know?)**_

02:20 a.m.

_**(Because I watch you too Johnny.)**_

John smiled down at his screen, pushing the curtain again, but the frame was gone, but he looked sideways, and she was now standing on her balcony, leaning against the rail.

02:22 a.m.

_**(Get back inside; you'll catch a cold.)**_

02:23 a.m.

_**(I'd rather stay here and watch you watch me.)**_

John smiled curiously waving at her from behind the glass and a hint of a smile showed on her lips in the dark night. A relentless need to kiss those cold lips travelled all the way down his dry throat and he groaned.

02: 25 a.m.

_**(You should really get more sleep.)**_

02: 26 a.m.

_**(I don't like waking up to an empty bed.)**_

He looked up from his screen and she was back inside, behind her French doors, her frame behind the curtain. She was her own prisoner at that huge fortress of solitude. Was she really okay with what she was doing? Married men? Why wasn't she just like all other women; at the pursuit of love and happiness? John detested her solitude the same way she did, but was it that no man had loved her or that she'd refused herself to love anyone?

02: 30 a.m.

_**(Did you ever have a boyfriend?)**_

02:31 a.m.

_**(That was random…)**_

02:31 a.m.

_**(Just answer.)**_

02:32 a.m.

_**(No.)**_

02: 33 a.m.

_**(Why?)**_

02: 34 a.m.

_**(Wasn't it to you that I said I only did men in your situations?)**_

02: 35 a.m.

_**(Have you ever tried?)**_

02: 36 a.m.

_**(Yes, it was very unproductive. What's with the sudden inquisition?)**_

02: 38 a.m.

_**(Trying to understand what's under the red hair. What are you doing tomorrow?)**_

02: 39 a.m.

_**(Nicholas J. asked to take me to a few places, I said yes.)**_

John's brows scrunched together tightly, he looked up at the frame behind the curtain, but it was gone already.

02: 40 a.m.

_**(Where is he taking you? When will you be back? For how long have you known him again?)**_

02:42 a.m.

_**(He talked about Lettuce Lake Park, Piers 60 and a few other places. I do not know. I know Nicholas since I was twenty; five years exactly. Satisfied?)**_

02: 43 a.m.

_**(Not really. Be careful, I don't trust him. It's my last day home before I head back to work on Monday. I'd like to see you.)**_

02: 44 a.m.

_**(I can manage Nicholas. You see me every day already Johnny. What do you mean?)**_

Good question what did he mean; but he just wanted to see her, spend some time with her, talk, watch a movie, anything, he just wanted to be with her an hour or two and he would be sated for the next three weeks he'd be away. A ball formed in his abdomen. It was so wrong, but he wanted to kiss her cold lips again and feel them warm up to his, her cold fingers in his back; just like he had tonight in the parking lot. He'd launched himself at her so stupidly. That's what she did to him; she stupefied him.

02: 48 a.m.

_**(Come after your jogging. I'll make us breakfast. I want to see you too Johnny. I can go to bed now. Night.)**_

And he was stupid again. He looked up through the kitchen window again and noticed the lights were off already and he smiled. He was relieved he hadn't had to justify that he wanted to see her. Gage was the most intuitive person he knew; she asked for no information, no justifications or excuses; she took him the way he came and accepted it. May be that was why he enjoyed her presence so much, but would she ever contempt herself with just that?

Will he?

John locked his phone, and went back upstairs. Liz was still sleeping and she shifted sleepily when he moved into bed.

000

The morning fog whirled and stumbled around the trees of the empty park. John used this precious time to release some tension. Moloko played in his ears the song _Sing it back_. John listened attentively to the sultry voice of the woman and every word she sang. Every distant echo of his heart pounding tamed under the sound of the music, and the now, he could barely feel the strain against every muscle exercised. He'd made a dream of Gage; he'd dreamt of her in the kitchen, a bowl of strawberries with cream in her hands, she sat on the counter in front of him, and took each strawberry and fed him with it, then she took some cream on her index and made him lick it. The vague colourless image of his dream travelled down to his groin; and he woke up in panic, a terrible hard on bugging him.

The sun shred little by little, but it was very low, and covered by thick grey clouds. He jogged back into his street and Gage's house immediately; he looked ahead, then sideways, then all over again for unwanted eyes spying him as he ran towards her door. He climbed the stairs and his hand rose to knock at the red door. But he tentatively shook the handle and the door opened slowly; taking a last look around, he saw no one as the sun slowly began to rise, and entered. He was greeted by the sweet smell of freshly made bread and smiled in delight.

"Hi Johnny."

The sound of her voice helped him find his way in her house. He moved passed the large living room, turned right and he found her; in all white as always; red hair into a braid that fell down her shoulder, she wore no make up or little he could tell and smiled when she saw him.

"Hey." He smiled back. It was the first time she gave him a genuine smile.

"I made us a typical Dutch breakfast. It's healthier than those god-awful pancakes you make over here." She shrugged. _There you go…_

"Well; what do we have here?" he asked sitting down in a high chair; his eyes searched the table for the breakfast but found nothing, he frowned.

"It's all on the table outside." She said, cleaning her hands on the white apron around her waist, her hands went to her back and untied it and she turned to hang it. She wore a back-less cut out jumpsuit; she had nothing inside, and her clothing exposed her entire back and stopped right above her butt. It continued down, hugging her perfect round bottom.

"This way Johnny." She took his hand abruptly and led him outside. She pushed the glass doors, and a small wooden table with two identical chairs decorated the private balcony.

"You made all this?" he asked baffled, seeing the full and colourful table. Gage nodded, taking a seat into one of the chairs. He felt a little unclean sitting near her, in his soaked sweats.

"I took it _very _seriously when you said you wanted to see me." She smiled gesturing him to eat up.

"I made some French croissants, eggs à la Florentine, Ham, some toasts, orange juice, hot chocolate and of course the Dutch breakfast cake with cloves cinnamon and nutmeg."

"Wow."

"Don't be coy; eat!" she pushed.

"I never knew you could cook so…" he said taking a croissant into his plate, she poured some hot chocolate into a cup and drank it.

"I love to cook; but…" she took another sip and looked away. "I have no one to cook for most of the time, and I'm too lazy to do that for myself only."

He took a piece of his croissant. It tasted delicious, crunchy outside, but tender on the inside; he groaned suddenly realizing he was very hungry.

Gage watched; very pleased at John as he chopped down his breakfast. It was a wonderful sight to behold.

"It's delicious. I haven't ate anything this good in a while." He said, taking a sip of his orange juice.

"I really hate those dull pancakes. Whenever I order breakfast here, that's all they offer."

"Then you've never been at Ihop."

"What's that?"

"It's like a McDonald's, but only for pancakes. You've never seen one in town?"

"I avoid the proletarian cafés." She said snobbishly, and John frowned.

"How snooty." He said, and she looked up from her cup.

"You don't know where I come from, don't judge me." She sighed, and she looked away again.

"Well; if you told me, there wouldn't be any confusion." He replied.

"When I was a little girl, my mother never cooked. She always gave me some money for a take out from one of those cheap places and I hated it. I learned to cook from books and TV." She murmured.

"And your Dad? Didn't he cook?"

"My Dad?" she asked and he nodded.

"I never met him."

"Oh. Sorry." John gulped down his piece of bread and looked away in embarrassment.

"I've never done this Johnny; told anyone about my life like I do with you. It's new to me." She confessed.

"I'm glad you're trying. How do you feel?"

"Exposed."

"Don't. You can trust me." He shrugged. She looked around the table, like there was something missing and stood up and walked back inside. She came back seconds later; a medium sized glass bowl in hand and put it on the table. John looked down at the plate then back at her.

"What? You don't like strawberries?" she asked innocently, he shook his head.

She smiled again for the hundredth time since he came and managed to eat some of what she cooked. John chuckled lightly and she looked up quizzically.

"It's funny…I just…dreamt of strawberries last night s'all." He rolled his eyes taking another piece of the cake.

"_Just _the strawberries?" she pushed, noticing the stupid grin that betrayed him.

"And you too." He breathed.

"Oh Johnny…" she sighed biting down her lip. "What was I doing with them?"

"You were…" he started; his face flushing red. "You were feeding them to me."

She smiled brightly. Oh this man was going to be the death of her. She stood up and pushed away the plates. She sat on the table right in front of him, so she could look down at him and grabbed the bowl of strawberries.

"What are you doing?" he asked, though well aware of what she planned.

"Sometimes Johnny…dreams come true." She grinned dipping her fingers into the bowl retreating a strawberry soaked into cream and sugar.

"Oh no…I'm not…you're not…"

"Open up…" she motioned the strawberry to his mouth and he backed away.

"Say ah…" she giggled.

"Gage…"

When it was close to his mouth enough, he finally opened it slightly and accepted her finger and the strawberry into his warm mouth. Her fingers on his lips turned her on immediately; and all the laughter and the giggling died down. The sun was slowly rising before them. She gulped when John sucked gently on her index, she then took another one, then another one; repeating the same action until he was fed up.

In an instant, they had gone from artic Alaska to a torrid desert in Africa. John's miraculous tongue sucked on her finger, and it sent alerts to every part of her brain to react, and fire back. He stood up from his chair and now stood tall before her, his hand holding the one that had been his mouth.

"You're going back to work today right?" she whispered as he topped her.

"Yes."

"How long will you be away?"

"Three weeks." He answered, moving closer to her, and she frowned.

"Will you be there for my exhibition? It's on the 23."

"I'll try as much as I can."

"You have to or else, Nicholas will be only to glad to mark his territory." She giggled but John frowned. He moved between the v of her legs, and leaned down.

"John…" she turned her head to the side avoiding his lips on hers. "It's really taking everything in me not to jump you right now…" she whispered, but he moved his head to make her look at him.

"This is not fair Johnny…you can't do this…" she continued. But he was so determined when he was like that. His face cornered hers and his lips found hers and she caved in.

"You're a selfish man too Johnny…" she murmured, breaking away and looking up at him and he nodded. He nodded. She'd never felt so weak in her entire life. Gage circled his neck with her hands and his pulled her to him, and her legs wrapped around his waist. John offered her a long desperate kiss, with the same intensity as the one in the parking lot last night but this time, she could keep up with him; meet his tongue when it searched hers, her teeth could mirror his when he bit her lower lip.

She turned to ash as his fire burned her. His skin was so warm, so different. John grabbed her braid and pulled it backwards so her face came up, he inclined his head, and his lip grazed her jaw, then her ear then he stopped lower. He made a little suction in the base of her neck, pulling, nibbling and chewing her flesh with exquisite precision. His face was against hers, and the warmth spread to her entire body. His hand held her neck while the other was in her back holding her sturdily to him. She began to breath faster and faster, her chest heaved and she felt weak in her knees and arms.

John's face left her neck, and he held her chin while he kissed her again. Her stomach twisted; knots forming over knots. Something rose in her throat and she felt like screaming to let it out. What was this? Gage pulled back abruptly; pushing John away from her.

"What are you doing?"

"…I don't know…" he shrugged, his hands moving to his head. Gage checked herself up, trying to take deep breaths.

"Did I…Did I hurt you?" he asked with a wary frown.

"No…it's just…I felt strange."

"Strange? Strange bad or strange good?"

"I don't know. I think I didn't digest something correctly." She climbed off the table holding her stomach.

"How did you feel?"

"I don't know exactly. Kind of dizzy, my stomach hurt, and I breathed really hard."

"May be you should see a doctor. How bad was it?"

"Not too much, but I've never felt that before; I could be sick." She walked back inside. The sun had already completely risen.

"Way to break the ambiance sorry…" she murmured.

"No; I'm the one to apologize. I should've exercised some self- control."

"That you should." Gage grinned at John and he smiled back. Her stomach did the unnerving thing again and she frowned.

"I really need to see a doctor." She repeated.

"At what time is Nicholas taking you?" he asked.

"He said a little before lunch time."

"That's early; where is he taking you again?"

"I told you in the text yesterday; get to the point."

"Okay! I'll mind my business; I just want you safe." He shrugged.

"Nicholas is not Hannibal the cannibal. Compared to _you_…" she smirked. "_He _exercises some self-control."

"That was a low blow Gage." He snorted.

"I know, but I don't play by the rules." She looked pitifully at him.

"What time are you leaving?" she asked.

"At ten."

"Oh. How is hum…Randall by the way?"

"I don't know, he must be getting ready to leave too."

"Does he…hum talk about me often?"

"Not when I don't ask; which I avoid to do." He sat down on the round couch in the living room.

"Thank you." She smiled. "Most people would've wanted to know what happened between Randall and me."

"I do; but I wanted to hear it from you first." He said, she joined him on the small couch.

"Yeah?" she asked and he nodded. "Well; this your day of luck Johnny. Once upon a time…an artist met a sexy man with tattoos at the bar of the restaurant in which she worked. He checked her out and she checked him; the next day he came back and he waited until the end of her service, and asked her to go for a drink." She started, looking up at the ceiling.

"The girl accepted and later they went to his hotel to…well you know. In the middle of undressing and all that, she stopped and left! End of the story." She chuckled, finally looking down at John.

"That's it?" he asked and she nodded. "Why did you do that? Not that I feel for Randy at all…"

"I'd just ended things with someone else. I didn't have the heart of going through with it. I would've fucked him just to let off steam."

"Someone else?"

"Another married man what do you think?" she snorted.

"The one who did the painting in your room?"

"God! Do you ever forget anything Johnny?" she chuckled remembering the conversation they'd had months ago.

"You seemed to like him a lot. Did you love him?" he asked. She paused for a moment like she was deep thinking.

"…He did a lot for me. He taught me everything I know. If today I'm a successful artist, that I have this big house, it's because of him." She pursed her lips, bringing her knees to her chest.

"He loved me; but not in a way that was acceptable."

"What do you mean?"

"The affairs of the heart are complicated Johnny, and…I didn't love him like he did."

"You talked about your science teacher once…what about him?" he raised his eyebrows Gage turned smiling maliciously.

"So eager to know everything Johnny. I'll tell you when the time is right." She smirked. John smiled widely too; and his beautiful one-sided dimple showed; and her heart leaped. He looked down at his watch, and it was her cue he was leaving. He looked up at her and she nodded.

"Thank you for everything. I had a very pleasant morning." He said.

"I did too Johnny." She sighed as they rose from the couch and walked to the door.

"Be safe and come back soon." She smiled.

"I promise I will." He leaned down, but this time he grabbed her and pulled her into a full bear hug. Gage was struck; dumb founded by the affective gesture. She'd never really had hugs in her life; instinctively, she circled him with her arms and held him tight too.

Her stomach turned again, and her body began the unnerving earthquake. John released her finally and left a small peck on her forehead. He partly released her, but she grabbed his neck and pulled him into a kiss once more. It was an intense quick kiss; meant to tell him goodbye, and thank you.

He gave her another all teeth showing, Colgate smile of his before walking out. She locked the door behind him and the air became cold again. Thirty minutes later, her phone buzzed and she smiled at the text. Reading through it, she smiled, and a little warm tear escaped her eye.

8: 10 a.m.

_**(I'm slowing down on pancakes now. I'll call you when I get to Connecticut. You are a fine cook Miss J. & a fine woman too. You should give yourself more credit; ttyl. JC.)**_


	13. Chapter 13

3: 13 p.m.

_**(Has he kept his paws off you? I'll be in CT in an hour. Answer. JC.)**_

Gage looked down at her phone and locked it before putting it back into her clutch.

"Persistent isn't he?" Nicholas asked as he parked his BMW into Lettuce Lake Park's lot. Surprisingly, their car was the only one in the parking lot; it was Monday and perhaps people wouldn't have the time to visit the park. Gage peeked from under her wayfarers at Nicholas her eyebrows raised.

"John; he seems to be very fund of you Miss Jansen." He explained, a confident smile playing on his lips before he unbuckled and slipped out of the car. Gage did not answer and simply unbuckled too; her hand held the door handle but Nicholas hurried to open the door for her.

"I hope I did not offend you…" he murmured taking her hand to help her out of the car.

"I would appreciate if you avoided mentioning John; Nicholas." She said refusing his hand and helping herself out of the car alone.

"If I must." He said closing the door.

They both moved to the entrance and a lovely blond woman with a white shirt tucked into black pants greeted them.

"All the arrangements have been made for you Mr Jaworski. Security is on alert if you need it and in case you need a guide, just let us know. There are directions all over the park in case you might have difficulty to locate yourself." She said giving Nicholas a wide bright smile.

"Thank you Michelle. Miss Jansen; shall we start the visit?" he asked, stretching his hand out to her. Gage nodded and accepted his hand, taking it with little reluctance.

"Good day Mr Jaworski, Miss Jansen." Michelle said, before she opened the small wooden door that led to the entrance of the park.

"You must be wondering what all that must be about…" Nicholas said as they walked hand in hand.

"Eventually…" she acquiesced.

"I leased the park for the day." He answered and Gage looked up at him, taking off her sunglasses.

"You are not serious…" she gasped.

"I'm not known for my sense of humour Miss Jansen." He smiled.

"Nicholas this is completely over the top…the entire park?"

"Nothing is too good for you Miss Jansen. I would rent Central Park too if it meant having you to myself the entire day." He said; his blue eyes flickered with joy; an all too familiar flicker.

"Nicholas, what you want from me is…" she started, but as they walked through the green grass and the trees, she could see the ghost of the observation tower farther between the trees. A small wooden bridge that matched the dry wood with which the tower had been constructed led to it. The view was mesmerizing. Green over green, mixed with the brown from the old wood and far ahead the bright blue sky played the role of a wonderful backdrop.

"Breath taking isn't it?" he asked, noticing her eyes glued to the view ahead of them. Gage squeezed Nicholas's hand tighter; it was beyond breath taking, it was marvellous; an array of perfectly matching colours and objects. Her feet floated on top of the old wooden material beneath her as she felt her mind escape. Walking past the observation tower, the board Walk engulfed itself into the green forest. She looked over the ridge to the right and saw the low and flat river gently flowing beneath them. The wind blew, pushing her braid off her shoulder. Nicholas's hand came up and fixed it back on her side, when she looked ahead, he was standing in front of her; blue eyes shining under the afternoon sun.

"I am lost for words Nicholas." She murmured and he smiled.

"Make sure you find them soon, I love to hear you speak Gage."

"You have surpassed yourself on this one Jaworski; I'm impressed." She chuckled, moving past him and spinning looking at the river over the rail of the bridge.

"There's a lot more to see." He spun looking at her lean over.

"A little piece of paradise brought to earth." She whispered to herself, looking down at the water.

"I wouldn't have put it in better terms."

Gage sauntered ahead, now very eager to see more of this enchanting haven. The bridge went further into the forest, and continued in zigzags. You could see the sun filter through the tall trees and the thin herb, feel the fresh breeze and enjoy the shade. The reflection of the sun formed little shadows on the bridge and Gage grinned like a child.

"Makes you wish the sun would never go down." He murmured, coming right behind her and taking her hand once more. For the first time of the day, she smiled brightly at him; an inoffensive, humble smile. She saw the delight in his eyes and they walked further.

"Why did you bring me here?"

"No reason in particular. It's a beautiful sight, I wanted to share it with you."

"Beautiful indeed." She said, gazing at the surrounding again.

"The sunset here must be a spectacle to witness."

"No; for the sunset, I'd like to take you to another place. There, the dusk is a real religious experience." He grinned maliciously.

"I'd love to immortalize this place into one of my paintings."

"I thought you might. Come; let's walk some more." He replied, putting a hand down her waist. By the simple contact, she could feel all his physicality; dancing on the tip of his fingers, ticking her skin. His hand was somewhere at her hip, his forearm rubbing her naked back and slightly protecting her from the sun.

"I love what you're wearing by the way." He said, still looking ahead as if reading her mind. They walked further into the forest and the off the wooden bridge. He took her hand and let her away from the road, and walked a few steps before arriving at a riverbank. Clear and flat water, calmly flowing from one end to the other, algae floating on the top, reflected the trees from the other end of the river. She stood still, hypnotized at the beauty again; thunder struck by the natural splendour in front of her and gaped lightly. Nicholas interrupted her reverie, rubbing her shoulder from behind and kissing it gently.

"Let's see what you can do with this Miss Jansen…" he whispered, making her head turn to her left. A well-stood blank canvas, with all the necessary equipment; a chair, paint, brushes, water, and even oil awaited her near the level at which water rose. She looked back at Nicholas, he pushed his blond hair backwards his left muscular arm gesturing her to the canvas. She dropped her clutch on the grass carelessly, and strolled rapidly away.

OOO

John's plane landed in Stamford, Connecticut at four in the afternoon exactly. As soon as his feet touched the ground, he turned on his phone hurriedly, hoping on a missed call or a text message from Gage but there was none. After his meeting with Vince and a few members of the creative team to polish the details of his next feud, he was driven to Hotel Zero Degrees on Washington Street in which he would stay for the night.

A valet brought his baggage to his room a few minutes later and he paced the floor of the room impatiently. He looked out the window and wondered if she was safe, Jaworski didn't look like the dangerous type but it was Gage he had difficulty to trust. The woman was so witty; he walked on thin ice with her, and every step forward was the thrill of life at that moment. Every time he plunged into those deep grey eyes, an unfamiliar feeling overwhelmed him; it was dark and relentless. Was it normal? Certainly not, but God it felt good. He ventured in the wild with Gage, exploring himself as she led him down an obscure tunnel, holding out her lantern for him to follow. The pleasures she made him discover by just her presence, were ones so prodigious and addictive, so subduing and intense at the same time, he could only always come back for more.

He fetched for his phone from his pockets and dialled her number. It rang a few times, and he padded the floor as he waited, then finally she picked up.

"Gage?" he called.

"_It's Nicholas Jaworski here."_ The voice from the other end of the line said. John tensed; his mind racing up and down.

"_Gage is currently not inclined to talk to you. She will call you back later."_ He said sternly.

"I'd like to speak to her." John insisted.

"_You will speak to her, but not now."_ He pushed. John frowned deeply.

"Where is she? Is she okay? Have you done anything to her?"

"_She is not far, yes she is fine. I have done nothing that she would not let me. Calm down."_ He said coolly. That was the problem; nothing she would not let him…

"Tell her I called."

"_Certainly. John, one more thing; you are married right?_" he asked. John solidified on the spot even more.

"Yes."

"_I see. You must've noticed her…predilection for men of your type I guess."_ He pushed. It was more than uncomfortable, he moved to his bed, suddenly feeling the ground disrobing under his feet. He grunted.

"_I will get to the point. No matter the nature of your feelings for her, you should steer clear from her."_

"I don't see where all of this concerns you."

"_I want to make her happy John and I can. Miss Jansen has a baggage too big for you to deal with; you have a wife. Think of her." _

His words landed like a ball of fire over his planet. What baggage? What did he mean he couldn't deal with it? What proved him he couldn't? How dare he think he could make her happy?

"My intentions towards Gage are good and I don't see why I should be justifying myself to you."

"_I agree. But John, my only concern is for Miss Jansen. She has a lot of deeply rooted insecurities that she rarely ever shows. She needs care and attention, though she seems to deny any form it. Will you do that for her?"_

The ground actually disrobed from under his feet then. John sat on the edge of the bed, not able to utter a word. Nicholas sounded like he knew a whole lot about Gage. Did she talk to him?

"_That is all I wanted to know. Think about what I said John. Good day." _He answered curtly. John hung up immediately, and collapsed on the back of his bed covering his face with his hands. _Insecurities…care…attention…_

He then thought of when she talked about her mother this morning when they had breakfast. Everything had been so easy then; their contact had been so effortless and amiable; but that kiss. His stomach twisted in pain; with guilt or envy perhaps. No it was guilt; deep purple substance dancing around his mouth and every part of him that had touched her. The contact with reality was harsh and cruel.

Gage had insecurities…but what kind? She needed care and attention…care and attention…care and attention…

OOO

Nicholas made no noise as he set his camera while Gage began to paint. She spent some time starring into the view; admiring, studying, capturing every single object around her. He watched her genius in action, operating with slow precision. A few minutes later, she grabbed the brush and soaked it into some water then into the paint and began. He sat on the herbs a few feet away from her and started taking snapshots of her, from afar, then closer, front, then from the back.

Her beautiful back, shown in all its splendour in the white backless jumpsuit, which was probably from an expensive designer. Nicholas knew Gage had always loved to wear YSL. Her skin had gained so much glow and colour since the last time they'd met. They've come a long way since she was working at Sixteen in Amsterdam and him as he vagabonded around Europe, desperately trying to take his pictures to another level. In quest of freedom, he'd left his motherland Russia and moved all over Europe, visiting places such as France, Italy, and Spain. After taking numerous shots of the Eiffel Tower, The _Sagrada Familia _and even The Coliseum of Rhodes, the passion he'd once felt so naturally was no more. Until a fatal day he met Gage Jansen. He'd heard of artists who painted nude models, who, whenever known by the good people of Amsterdam were rejected immediately. Useless was it to Miss Jansen though; she was already an outcast whatever she did; so why not make some money of it?

_-FLASHBACK-_

_Dull, dull, dull._

_They were all dull. There was no spark, no focal points in all these pictures; no wonder no one would ever want them. They look like they've been fetched out of a travelling agency agenda, or a fancy model look book. May be this is not meant for me; may be I should've done like my brother Michail, and opted for something more conventional, something less vague and less debauched._

_It wasn't quite as cold as it was in Russia, but it was a chilly afternoon in Amsterdam. There is a tavern, where if you paid, you could paint from a real nude model; but I am reluctant to go. I've seen every part of this town, this beautiful city which inspired the famous song by this famous French singer…Aznavour? In which he sings about the ports of Amsterdam. I do not find anything captivating about any port, or anything at all here. That night, out of complete boredom and got myself dressed and went to the tavern._

_I expected to see grumpy, drunken men, fighting and grumbling garbage Dutch insults at each other like they do so well. Instead, it was calm and quite when I walked pass the door. The bar was separated from a white room; with a huge post in the middle, with silk piece of cloth covering it. I expected to see a middle aged woman, with a bumpy stomach and square hips like the many of them present in this city; much to my surprise; a young woman…very young actually with extraordinary red ruby hair came from behind the curtain with nothing but a robe on herself. The men who sat in front of their canvases showed no amazement or whatsoever and all concentrated on her intently._

"_Who are you?" The woman turned to me; in the middle of undoing her robe. I blablattered an excuse for the reason I was there._

"_So you are not coming here to paint?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at me and I shook my head._

"…_And you have a camera for?" she raised her second eyebrows._

"_I thought since you…Well may be…" _

"_No…" she simply said, before turning around. "I do painting; not pornography." She replied sternly. I froze on the spot, I looked around the white room, and all the men sitting before their canvases stared at me with utter rejection, like I had walked into the plate from which they ate._

"_I said I don' .porn!" the lady exclaimed again, glaring at me. I wanted to reply, but sudden I repressed my envy, fearing it might create more turmoil than there already is in the room. I turned on my heel, and left the white room and sat at the bar._

_At the bar, a few women came to me, asking me to take them to bed for the night, but I knew better; they were prostitutes; Amsterdam burst of them and I had pity for whoever would accept their miserable offer, such women must carry a disease or two. I stayed at the bar an hour or two, drowning my numbness into a couple of beers then the men from the white room came out, one after the other. I waited as their number paraded and counted seven of them; I waited to see if the lady would be present too, but she never came out; perhaps, she's still inside._

_Gathering some courage, roughly rippled by the woman with the red hair, I pushed the door open and looked round the seemingly large room now. She was behind a curtain. I could see her shadow, bending forward to grab a piece of cloth and putting it on. A shot of adrenaline inside my veins forced me to walk closer to the curtain, my damp shoes did not make a single noise against the wooden floor; much to my delight and I waited until she had finished and walked out from behind the curtain. She did not jump when she saw me; but simply glared at me; her eyes wide with either discontentment or hate; I could not see._

"_I have not changed my mind." She muttered._

"_No…you're wrong! I am not here for that!" _

"_Then what are you here for?" she extended her eyebrows at me._

"_I would like to take pictures of you; Miss. Only if you would permit me of course Miss." I stuttered, completely baffled and intimidated. She seemed to relax because she grinned lightly._

"_Pictures? So you are a photographer?" _

"_Mostly the shadow of one now."_

"_I see." _

_Her eyes scanned through my miserable garments and I could see the disdain in her beautiful silver eyes. Who could think I came from a wealthy family…I took off my beret and shook my unruly hair so she can have a better look at the outer shell._

"_Nicholas Jaworski. Nicholas if you may."_

_She hesitated a second and finally, her lips disclosed a small smile which brought more relief to me, than any other desolate port or tower I had ever seen._

"_Gage Jansen."_

OOO

With time, taking a step back at their first contact; he had only fallen in love with an infinite part of her; the rest…well, what she struggled to keep hidden behind her dark silver eyes, seemed even better but now he knew it was only the worst of her she kept hidden from others; or what she ought to consider as the worst.

Oh Gage; how I'd like to heal those sores.

John; he was no good for her, yet he knew she won't let him go. Gage had a very sharp taste for all that was immoral; as long as it harmed her she seemed to accept it. It had to change; it needed to change.

"This is really a beautiful place Jaworski; you brought me here. Thank you."

"If you want to thank me Gage, simply enjoy this day with me. It means a lot to me." He kissed her shoulder again and put his hand on her hip.

"Very physical today Jaworski…" She grinned, holding her brush as she continued to paint.

"I'm always _physical _as you say it when you are around Gage."

"Is that a compliment?" she grinned, still looking ahead as he rested his head against hers.

"…More like a threat."

"Now we're talking, I knew the whole gentleman thing was a façade." She chuckled.

"Sorry to deceive you but it wasn't."

"You don't need to put on your best behaviour for me all the time you know…I've stopped believing in fairy tales."

"That's precisely the point Gage."

His hand came up to caress hers; his hot palm enveloped her cold one and she let down her brush. From behind her, Nicholas encircled her with his arms and held her tightly against his chest, and rested his head in the pit of her neck.

"You must really want to me pose a lot."

"And so much more…" he whispered, and she stiffened then. "You see this?" he said, tracing the lines around the painting she had started.

"This is what you do to me Gage. You take me to places such as this one."

"Just by posing?"

"Yes."

"Is that a declaration of love Nicholas?"

"I wouldn't want to scare you away…"

"I wouldn't be scared if you did."

For a fraction of a second, his heart lifted, filled with hope and expectation, dreams and ambition for the future; but as soon as it came, it disappeared.

"But I told you where I stand about all this Nicholas; I can't…its not for me." She shook her head.

"How would you know Gage?" he turned her around, and tilted her head upwards gently.

"I can't…love Nicholas; I would only make you miserable." She said casually; as if she'd had to say it a lot in the past; like a mantra she'd repeated to men again and again.

"Then I'll take the risk." He shrugged.

"But I won't!" she objected breaking the contact between them and pushing him away.

"Why? Because you're afraid to be _happy_? Would you rather hide in the shadows? Be a mistress all your life?" he blurted. She looked up suddenly, and he regretted his words immediately.

"Look Gage…you can blame yourself all your life for what she did…what _they_ did, but it'll never take it away! But life goes on and…you…you're not _her_!" he moved a step ahead, and she stepped back.

"Enough!" she hissed loudly, a branch of wood cracking under her feet as she moved back in the grass.

"Gage if you'd just let me…" he started but she held her hands out in defence, shutting her eyes closed she then walked back on the path they'd taken to get there and ran away.

"Love you."


	14. Chapter 14

He shifted in his bed uncomfortably, his thoughts preventing him from any sleep. How dare he tell him he couldn't make her happy, that she had insecurities or even know what she needed? Gage was old enough to know what's best for her, but…could he by any misfortune be right? John had been craving to call her, but he feared Nicholas would pick up again, and such a frustration, he knew he couldn't bear. Not when he was two thousand kilometres away. Not when he knew he wouldn't have anything to remedy to the feelings he would be reeling with. Not when he couldn't see Gage.

01: 09 a.m.

_**(Are you awake? GJ.)**_

His phone lighted and the text took him by surprise. He looked up at the previous text he'd sent her, text, which she had left unanswered. John locked his phone hastily, putting it back under her pillow.

01:12 a.m.

_**(Don't ignore me Johnny.)**_

He looked out at the night sky of Connecticut, seeking advice from a divine force.

01:14 a.m.

_**(Please Johnny. I need you.)**_

His eyebrows furrowed, please? She'd never sounded so desperate. Was everything alright? Was she sad or had she been crying? As the questions whirled in his head, and the answer he'd wanted from the divine power finally came without his notice. He dialled her number immediately.

"John." She answered on the first ring; her voice was sore as if she'd been crying; and she hadn't called him Johnny. His heart fell into his stomach.

"I apologize for not replying Johnny." She continued sweetly. Relief washed over him at the annoying sobriquet.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, and you? How was your flight?"

"Very long and your day?"

"Unpleasant." She emphasized on the t, and he was almost happy.

"What did he do?"

"Nicholas can be very…invading sometimes. I've missed you."

He listened attentively his body easing with comfort he hadn't felt since that prick had picked up her phone. Did she know he'd taken her phone? Why hadn't she answered his texts? Was she telling the truth when she said she missed him? A woman like her couldn't be serious…

"Did you miss me?"

"Gage I have to sleep, I have a long day tomorrow. We can talk some other time."

There was a silence at first, he heard her clear her throat then she murmured something that sounded like an "okay" and the line went dead. John locked his phone, now feeling even worse than before. Truthfully, it was difficult to withstand her inexplicableness even five thousand miles away; and there was still the phone call from Jaworski.

Care and attention…

Gage did not need care and attention; what she needed was to pest into his life, force him to cheat on his wife and tip toe her way out as soon as she was done sucking all the blood pumped by his little heart…Like the Succubus that she was. The thought seemed so repulsive, yet it was what happened with every word, every look, and every touch from her, he cheated Liz with all. After all who was she? What did he know about her? How had he even managed to trust her so far? It had even gotten to the point at which he questioned the very ground of his feelings for Elizabeth. John twisted and turned for another hour and woke in a haste; he looked down at his agenda in his phone. Next week, he flied to Los Angeles, then the week after he had a few appearances to make; but on the twenty-third, he was free. He picked his phone from under his pillow, and dialled her number, fuck if it was four in the morning over there.

"John?"

"Yeah."

"Why are you calling me?"

"I was wondering…do you need hum…care and attention?"

"If I need…care and attention? Well…" she chuckled sardonically.

"You know what-Never mind, It's stupid."

"Nothing you say is stupid to me Johnny."

"You say that cuz you haven't seen me drunk!" he chuckled.

"I'd love to though."

"Yes." He said.

"Yes what?"

"Yes, I miss you. You weren't sleeping?"

"I couldn't sleep tonight again."

"Really? Why?"

"Cuz I want to see you and I can't but even if I could, what would I do about it?"

"You could make me breakfast again, and you'd tell me about your crazy childhood and mysterious science teachers."

"Oh really? Please leave Mr Dekker to the past. I'd prefer we talk about you next time."

"Oh my life has been a pale blue Nissan, following the highway of life Miss G. Unlike some people, I'm very conventional."

"Do you have something against unorthodoxy Mister C?"

"Not at all; as a matter of fact, I believe I'm a fan of it."

There was a silence.

"Oh Johnny, what you do to me. Why can't you just be like other men?"

"Says Gage the nonconformist."

"Gage the nonconformist…I think I can deal with that."

"Au plaisir!"

"French? I didn't know you could speak!"

"That's cuz I don't! My abilities are very limited. Do you?"

"Yes, some Spanish and Dutch too."

"I thought you'd dropped out of school…"

"I've been to a lot of places in Europe I had to adapt."

"What else did you have to adapt to?"

"Survival. Diana had left some money so I vagabonded around to find some work."

"Diana?"

"My _mother_."

"How is she? You never really talked about her before except at the Barbecue."

"Suicide…when I was sixteen. I can barely remember how she looked; she was a hottie though. The men paraded at home."

"You don't seem to have a problem talking about her."

"Not at all. What I really have a _problem_ with is _you_ not in my bed Johnny. That's my real problem."

"Then why don't you quit it?...And hunt down someone else?"

"I have a feeling deep inside me. You see John-you don't really but- when I see you I…I'm helpless. You…you make me _so… wet_!"

"Even right now, speaking to you over the phone…I…Oh John, this is unbearable. But you asked for time, the least I can do is give you that. But please tell me if it's as bad for you as it is for me."

"Gage I can't tell you…"

"Just one word John; I need to know. Tell me; or else…"

"Else?"

"Or else we're both wasting our time."

The last time words had made his pend on the ends of his ears was…It was never. His ears ached and reddened with heat. He did not want her our of his life, and certainly did not want to be another married, glorious conquest on her table, but…

"Its worse for me Gage. I want you all the time; everywhere. I'd fuck you anytime, and anywhere; but…its wrong…It's not who I am. I'm not even sure _who _I am anymore. I hate you for it, I hate you for doing this to me; making me doubt, and question my entire life while yours remains completely unaltered. To you…this is just…_routine_!"

He breathed, conscious he'd just poured out his soul to the one person he shouldn't have. He boiled with anger and frustration like a wolf fighting against his will in front of a prey, half dead.

"Since I've met you John, my life has been anything but unaltered."

_Lies._

She still strolled around, heart as hard as a block, diamond eyes shimmering with fluid silver.

"Look, you're very different from all the men I've known. You want to know…_me_ and I find it very perturbing. I'm not used to be so scrutinized, but I have to bear it because what I'm asking in exchange is nothing comparable John. I am well aware what we're doing could _ruin _your life!"

"Yes, _my _life; not yours. I'd rather you had something to loose in this too."

"I've already endangered more than I should have Johnny." She chuckled. "If I'd played by my usual rules, you'd know nothing but that I am Gage Jansen."

"Glad to know you're going easy on me."

"I'm trying."

There was a light silence, both voices sighed on the other ends of the line at the same time.

"I'll make you a promise."

"I thought you didn't make promises cuz you can't keep them."

"I'll try for this one."

"I'm all ears."

"I promise I'll tell you _anything _you'd like to know about me."

"But…"

"But-of course- Well actually when…we finally have sex."

"I look forward to it."

"Me too Johnny."

"Not _that_!"

"Oh?"

"I look forward to you telling me about yourself smart one."

"It's two sides of the same coin baby." She laughed, her mood obviously lighter.

"Can we at least agree on a date?" she continued, her voice higher and perkier.

"No, its not an appointment marked on my agenda! You'll have to wait."

"I'd _like_ to be on your agenda everyday Johnny. Where are you staying?"

"Hotel Zero Degrees, but I'll fly to L.A soon, then I should be back the day of your exhibition hopefully."

"Now that I have _you _on my agenda, I don't even look forward to it."

"Don't be stupid!"

"You'd be surprised to see artist don't make the difference between personal and professional."

"Debauches."

"And proud."

"Gage, are you a woman? If you are, are you mad? And if not, are you a devil? I can never understand you."

"Oh…" she said sweetly on the other end of the line. "…Wuthering Heights; very nicely adapted, but I don't see myself as Heathcliff." She said and he laughed.

"And who are you Johnny? Mr Darcy? Perseus? Mr Rochester? Rhett Butler? Or Romeo?"

"Oh hell no. I'm way cooler than them, and I don't think any of them would do what I'm doing right now."

"Then you're Hester Prynne; from Hawthorne's Scarlet Letter!" she giggled loudly. He grunted loudly; not pleased to be compared to a woman; but after all, the radicals of the sixteenth century could have tattooed an A on his chest with a hot iron, he'd probably still see Gage.

"What are you thinking about?" she whispered.

"I can't find a heroin that suits your character Gage, none from the books I've read at least. You're quite a rarity."

"That's cuz I am no heroin Johnny. You're the main character, I write the scenarios." She said, and he chuckled again.

The night ceased and the morning slowly came, the light replacing the darkness. It was almost completely day when they stopped talking over the phone. John began his day, following his usual routine; gym, appointment at the HQs, meeting with members of the staff; then there was a signing at a mall, then a photo shoot for Summerslam. As he came back from the gym, he received a call from Liz, he hadn't called her since he'd left her at the Airport, and his chest began to weight again. He left her a message on her voicemail.

"Lizzie, I'm sorry I haven't called before. I had a meeting with Vince and when I came back at the hotel I went to sleep. I hope you're not mad, how's my woman doing? How's the baby shower coming along? Call me back. I love you."

Later, he met with Randy and Stephen to catch breakfast in the Hotel's restaurant. Stephen was talking about another one of his crazy ex-girlfriends who'd tried to hack his Twitter account and posted a few indecent shots of him. The waiter came by to take their orders.

"Bread, an omelette without the yolk, some ham, Dutch breakfast cake if you have it and Lipton lemon Tea." He answered. Faces turned on him, and whispers ceased to leave space for silence and blank expressions.

"_What_?"

"Dutch. Breakfast…Cake?" Randy cocked his head to the side. John nodded simply and Randy rolled his eyes.

"It's mouth-watering, you should try." He said, patting his shoulder.

"I didn't know Liz could bake a cake." He snorted.

"I didn't know Liz knew wher ya kitchen was fella!" Stephen retorted, chuckling in mockery.

"Guys, its my _wife_! C'mon! Not everyone is married to Chef Samantha." He pointed to Randy, and then he turned to Stephen. "And when _you_ marry Margaret Psycho…Don't invite me."

"I was just sayin'…" he defended grinning under his red moustache. John's phone vibrated in his pocket and he first thought it was Liz calling him then he noticed it was an incoming call from Gage. On his phone he'd replaced the initials GJ by…well…_Succubus._ If by any misfortune, someone came across this, would it raise any suspicion?

"Guys, I'll be right back." He stood from the table and moved the men's room and picked up.

"Hey."

"_Hey Johnny."_

OOO

Five minutes later, John finally emerged from the bathroom and resumed his position at the table with his two friends. They both looked at him questioningly, supposedly hoping for an explanation, but Randy was the first to speak up.

"How's Liz?" he asked knowingly, an eyebrow raised over his cocky expression as if he knew he hadn't been talking to Liz.

"She's fine. Amanda's making a baby shower soon; it's keeping her busy."

"And, why doesn't she come on the road with us sometime? She must feel lonely." He pushed.

"I'll ask her; but you know she's friends with Sam right?" John retorted. Randy wouldn't want any of this dirty business come up to Sam's ears. He only grunted as a response and the waiter came with their breakfast. They ate in silence, except when Randy began bothering him about Liz and how their marriage was coming along, and if Liz had plans of having children, etc. They left the hotel restaurant when they were done, and walked back to their rooms; the elevator dropped Stephen on his floor and they both proceeded to their own floor.

"She's starting to eat you up John."

"I don't see what you're talking about." He replied, and they walked out of the elevator.

"Don't bullshit me; you never leave when Liz calls, you eat _Dutch _cake now and we know Liz can't cook to save her life. What? Do you like her? Did you fuck her?"

"Look…Gage is a good friend; that's all. Nothing's happened with her." He replied, as they strolled to his room.

"A _friend_? You gawked her all day the other day! You should watch out , at least hold it down when you're around Liz. Thank "

"I've got it Randy!" John snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Just saying…from the guy who's been there. It's a dangerous game; that _broad_ is nothing good."

"She's not a broad; you don't know her!"

"Oh! Because _you _think you _know _her? You know how it is with them; big star, get him into your bed then next day, you're on TMZ and your wife is filling for Divorce."

"She's not after fame or money; she has plenty on her own."

"Its worse then." He grunted and John frowned. "Generally, there's two kinds of women, the gold diggers and the ones after fame, then there are the ones that only want to fuck your life up."

Randy retreated his key card and opened the door to his room. He turned before closing his door.

"I know you'd never hurt Liz, you've always done what's right. I know I'm not on the good side of the line to tell you this but…" he paused. "That girl…she's dangerous. Stay away from her." He said, and closed his door.

John sighed; would he ever get a break from this? He didn't want to think about it; he didn't want to think of the consequences, or if she was dangerous or not. Gage was only harmful to his mental stability, not for his marriage or his image. But what if someone knew…

He couldn't bring himself to envisage his family's reactions. His Dad would be outraged, his mother, deeply disappointed, and his brothers; well they'd have his back at least. John slammed his door and locked it; exasperated. He sat on his bed, and put his head in his hands. His nerves all retreated to the back of his neck and his head began to ache. His phone rang this time, playing _Come Away with me_ of Norah Jones. Then another call came in at the same time when he was about to pick up.

_Lizzie girl._

_Succubus._

He grinned down at his phone, his mind debating in a fraction of a second on which he should pick up. He frowned deeply as the song continued to play and he was left to choose. He was probably making a huge deal out if this; was it a sign? A divine mediation, forcing him to make a stand? He sighed and took one of the calls and put the phone at his ear.

"Hey." He said.


	15. Chapter 15

**4 days ago…**

-"Hey Gage!"

Gage stretched and yawned from her lack of sleep as Liz quickly strolled towards her. On such an odd morning, the little blonde looked radiant and smiling; she grinned back at her as she approached into the square of her garden.

"Morning Liz. Can I help you?"

"Well, you can! But how are you? You look tired."

"I'm fine, lack of sleep and a lot of work. How are you and John doing?" she asked matter-of-factly.

"I'm fine, we went shopping with Amanda; you know its my sister and she's throwing a baby shower party…"

_She went on and on, talking about herself and her sister's party. Damn woman can't even tell me how her husband is doing, but she can ramble for hours on a pointless party._

"…John is good, he is in Los Angeles now. Have you been to L.A Gage?" she asked with sweetness as well as arrogance in her voice.

"No."

"Oh, I thought so… It's beautiful, and Hollywood Boulevard…"

"…You needed me for something?" Gage interrupted and she paled, seemingly coming down from her pink cloud.

"Yes, well, I was wondering if you could help me with the cake… My sister wants me to make one but I thought your skills would be much needed." she said, her demeanour slowly reducing and reducing, to the point it got miniscule. Gage grinned.

"I'll have to find the time, I'm not sure Liz…" she said, hesitantly. "My exhibition is coming up and I'm very busy, when is it?"

"On the twenty-fifth!" she squealed.

_Interesting…_

It was right after her exhibition, two days precisely. Her mind made the math quickly, if she accepted, she might get to spend time with John; even if it meant spending time with Liz too. But would she be able to hold it together? Gage bit her lip and thought deeply.

"I'll find some time and help you with your cake Liz." She nodded and as soon as she came, Liz strolled to Anny's house for the latest gossip. Gage picked up the Friday morning newspaper and walked back to her house and locked the door. It was the twentieth, and John would be back in four days. _Four days._ Gage waited adamantly John to come back, and she was in hell until he did. They spoke over the phone frequently; almost every night, only at night, and despite the little progress on the physical plan, it soothed her to speak to him. The nights almost became tolerable, and the morning less monotonous. Last night though, John didn't pick up when she called and the rest of the night, she'd been sullen without her notice. She'd made a horrible painting, very childish and amateur looking. This was the effect he had on her now.

Nicholas had been calling almost every hour since the day at the park and she still had no desire to speak to him or talk to him or have any form of communication with him. She was over and done trying to explain to him who she was, and that she couldn't bring herself to love…_him_.

And if this _love_ everyone wanted so much was for everyone then, surely, she would've been in love by now. Instead, her heart was dry and inviolable since the day of its creation and nothing she'd gone through had altered its beating. Anything except perhaps…John's delicious smile. She grinned inwardly at the image, she'd finally had her television set, and every Monday, was devoted to watching him. They called it _Monday Night Raw_, what a strange name; what could he possibly like in such violence? It was barely believable, and John… sounded kind of cheesy, and not his usual noteworthy. He was very funny though, feuding with the punk guy, it was almost like a comedy show.

Gage strolled around her house, taking the stairs that let to her basement where she kept all her original paintings; it was the largest room of her house, the walls were completely ravaged in colours and splashes of paint, there was a camera she'd never used. It stood on a post, and the objective was directed towards the bed with the white sheets. Gage moved behind it, and looked into the dust lens; and thought she'd like to take pictures of John here someday. She scoffed and blew away the silly idea. Walking back up, she stopped on the calendar in the kitchen, taking very close notice of the days ahead.

John would be there on Monday…Monday… Her phone vibrated in the pocket of her shorts, she took it out eagerly; and looking down at the ID, her grin fell when she saw it was only Nicholas. She sent him to her voicemails, and shut her phone back into his pocket. Gage wandered hazardously in her house, occasionally going out and sitting on her porch to enjoy the bright sunny day and the warm wind of Tampa, but there was no enjoyment on her side, through her shades, she looked at the house in front of hers and thought of John, yawning and stretching every morning then he walked to the kitchen to have coffee, then he'd be back on the balcony to see if she was on hers. The day proceeded so uninterestingly, and when it was afternoon, Gage stood hastily and chastised herself for thinking of John and his perfect…_more_ than perfect physique, but it was truly unbearable. She skipped on eating and went to her room, feeling incredibly lonely. Then she stood, taking the only meaningful decision of her entire day.

"I draw…the line…when…we…reach six months Johnny!" she hissed, jumping lightly to reach the duffel bag on top of her closet, flunking it down on the floor and throwing some clothes on the bed. Gage looked out the open window, the clouds parted to let the bright rays radiated through her bedroom, and she smiled. This was a good way to start the day.

**OOO**

There were screaming fans surrounding the tour Bus; they slowly descended, the bodyguards pushing them away to make space as they got into the hotel. The stayed at the Beverly Hills Hotel for the next four days and John noticed, with some glee that Vince had not been greedy; the valet brought him to his suit. He and a few others were lodged in the Presidential Bungalows. It was a 170 meters square suit, with a garden, a private pool, a large living room, two rooms, and a well-equipped kitchen.

"Top of the notch for the top guys I see!" Randy exclaimed after he whistled as he looked around the room. John shrugged and walked to his bedroom, carrying his bags himself to his closet; he fetched his phone from his pockets and saw a text from Gage.

4:17 p.m.

_**(6 months, 25 weeks, 181 days, 43 44 hours, 260, 640 minutes,**__** 15,638,400 seconds**__**, but a second more is worse than death to me.)**_

He panicked, and dialled her number immediately, but it sent him directly to the voicemail. John's eyebrows furrowed and his mouth pressed together, he took off his cap and walked outside when he heard Randy approaching. What did she mean by _worse than death to me_? Had she had enough of waiting for him to make up his mind? Or did she intend to do anything drastic? It was not in Gage's habits to dramatize…then what? Then it hit him.

"Hey, when you're done admiring the sky and listening to the birds sing…feel free to get dressed, we have a meeting in half an hour!" Randy barked from the door. John looked over at Randy, and the latter sighed with discontent before speaking up.

"What?"

"Gage…she's here, or she will be I don't know…"

"Cool! At least _you_'ll get laid, Samantha is on her period and you know when that shit gets at her, she's all '_No Randy, not tonight!'_ and its _just_ a blow-'

"No! I mean, I had Liz barely an hour ago, she said she'd be there for party tonight. I didn't even tell her about it; did Sam talk to her?"

"I suppose…so they're _both_ coming?" Randy shrugged. John nodded warily, with a confused look on his face. Randy chuckled, and got back inside.

"Well good luck with that!"

OOO

Last night, the impossible happened; He never thought he'd loose control but he did, and twenty hours later, the reality hasn't sunken into his mind. John is still in the blissful and surreal reverie of his weakness; he smiled at Gage, who stood in a circle of people, and she sent him a quick and the room was dark again, the noise dimly gathering to the back of his ear. His beautiful, yet dangerous Gage; she was like a revolver; and she'd shot him dead the first minute. Liz was discussing with some woman; proud to say she knew Gage, and that she had been acquainted with a few of the paintings exposed tonight, but it was the turmoil in his head and his heart. Actually, it was a mess in one, and there was a whole in the latter; like she'd cut short all his doubts, and uncertainties. They were in the wild now, in the exciting thrill of the unknown and he begged to move further into it, until all was lost. Gage took his breath away, and gave meaning to the feeling; its funny how it always seems like the most important times of our life happen when we breath, but the most powerful are the ones that take our breaths away.

OOO

**That evening…**

The Beverly Hills Hotel held the Summerslam kick-off party in the hotel's ballroom. The evening was already started, and everyone seemed to enjoy itself; John though, was worried. Liz had arrived at the hotel and he still couldn't reach Gage's number, he looked warily around every corridor, behind every entrance, wondering if she would appear; the unexpected guest she always was. After a few minutes of jumping at every movement around him, twisting and turning deviously, he fetched himself a glass of champagne at the bar. The waiter scrutinized him before taking his order.

"A Martini…caramel; please." He said. "I need something strong right now…" he muttered under his breath, looking away as he stood on one of the chairs behind the stool. The waiter neatly cleaned a glass and served his cocktail and leaned over, and murmured something to him.

"Sir, she asked me to tell you, she was upstairs, waiting for you." He whispered quickly before he resumed his task at cleaning another glass. John frowned, his chest tightening in defence before he proceeded the words of the young man. Who? Gage? Upstairs? He stood, emptying his glass in one gulp and watching out for preying eyes looking at him. He moved casually to the end of the ball, making sure he kept Liz in his line of sight and turned to leave, but as he turned, as hand settled firmly on his shoulder.

"Where you going?"

"My room, I forgot to take my err…wallet." He replied to Randy. Randy eyed him suspiciously, examining him from head to toe before dropping his hand off John's shoulder.

"Don't loose your head over this John." He muttered taking a sip of a whisky. "I'll make sure Sam keeps Liz here, be quick." He almost ordered and walked away. Before leaving, Randy gave him an apologetic look; as if he were sorry for him. It didn't stop John from walking towards the elevators, he stopped at his floor, and made giant steps towards his room, unlocking it with his key card, he entered. The world seized to spin round.

OOO

"_You were right about everything…" _

"_John…you don't have to...I don't want to have you…like this…" _

"_You said you'd have me anyway right?" _

"_Yeah but-'_

"_No buts, let's do this. We don't have a lot of time." He objected, taking off his belt; the leather material slid of his pants and John threw it on the floor, almost dreadfully. He popped open the buttons of his pants and torturously, he walked towards her on the edge of the bed and bent, planting a first chaste kiss on her lip he pulled back and watched her, his eyes were unreadable and livid. They closed again and he kissed her again, this time, with force and pushed his tongue into her mouth almost cogently and pushed her onto her back to lie on the bed. John's kiss tasted of his cocktail, mixed with drowsiness and sadness. Gage ran her hand on his chest tentatively, down his sculptured body and into the hook of his boxers; but she threw a glance towards John, waiting for yet another denial, but he said none._

"_Don't deceive me Gage,…" he murmured, before he bit her flesh behind her ear. It was only painful, but she bared her teeth and supported the pain._

"_I won't tolerate it…" he breathed, biting on her ear this time. She nodded reassuringly, hoping to soothe his state of mind. When the light was green, and all inhibitions settled, she pushed his boxers down and bit his neck the same way he had hers and so it began… John put his hand right hand behind her head and his fingers massaged her scalp as he looked down her; blue eyes shimmering in the moonlight. Gage wasn't ready when his sharp length filled her swiftly; making no prisoners. She cried, her hands clutching to his back immediately, digging his skin in plea to be softer with her. But John was determined and…indomitable, so she slowly accommodated him, and began; herself, to enjoy the punishment._

"_Oh John!"_

_The pain quickly transitioned into pleasure and John's slow thrusts had the same effect as his teeth tugging and pulling every piece of flesh they could catch. Gage was tempted to keep digging into his back, but the marks she would leave would generate suspicion on Liz's side, and she didn't want John to cope with any trouble prompted by their little affair. So, she let go of him, letting her hands fall by her sides; John stopped the gnawing in her neck and looked down at her as their bodies rocked to and fro in a frenzied rhythm of savageness and raw desire. _

"_Fuck!...Gage!" he hissed through grinned teeth. She smiled lightly, with all the energy she could devote to it. His lids were half closed, heavy with delayed lust and fury simultaneously. After a moment, when they fitted perfectly within each other, John slowed down and grabbed her hips, and in one swift move, they exchanged places, and she was on top of him. Her body sunk deeper into his length and they moaned at the invasion. Gage had a preference for this position; it conveyed a certain sense of power, she rested her hands on John's shoulders, her right hand cupping his neck adoringly, and he grinned. In response, his hand crawled up her back, and pushed her down, so her lips could meet his in another rough encounter._

"_Ride me baby…" he breathed coarsely. It sent quivers to where their bodies caved and she began swaying her hips. She picked up a pace, not to fast, and not to slow and John's appreciative groans and moans got more frequent and he held her firmly in his hands._

"_Faster…" he urged her. So she obeyed, moving faster, but she was no athlete like him, but his commanding hands guided her and she continued. Heedless and unrestrained, their moans loitered in the air and were carried in the wind that flew through the windows let open. _

"_Oh Johnny!" she whimpered as softly as she could. Through the glass doors, she saw the pool, and heard the sound of the water in the pool flowing and fancied to have him there too. She was brought back to the room by a pinch on her breasts; on her nipples. Gage couldn't slow down, for his hand would grip her tighter when she dared to stop; it was ironical, he, who had denied this until this very moment, he was enjoying this more than she did herself. But it was good that way, for his pleasure was hers also and Gage continued, relentlessly to satisfy him. John sat up, keeping her in place so she was now sitting on him, his head was in her neck and he began biting her again, but he appeased the passage of his teeth by running his tongue over the reddened skin. His caress sent her shivers down there again and into the nervous ends of her nipples, which stung now as John played and toyed with them._

"_John! Oh God!" _

_Her hands shook; incapable of anchoring onto a spot where she would not leave a mark, and sweat had begun to gather onto their foreheads. Gage rested her head against his in weakness, but he reached up from behind and grabbed a fistful of her slick red hair and pulled. Her head recoiled from the spot as she threw it backwards. The image of the ceiling of the Beverly Hills's Presidential Bungalow would remain imprinted in her memory; she would always remember the French architectural patterns that created an illusion of a palace and the glass lustre that levitated above the bed and as she stared at the light as it reflected in the glass, she felt her body releasing from tension accumulated over the past months, her orgasm reaching its pinnacle; its final culmination. She became depth to her own cries and whimpers, and John, secured his arm around her waist and subjected them both to a few more thrusts, full of pleasure and adulation. When his guttural growls and wave of curses were done, he finally released her, falling onto his back while she fell on his chest._

"_I told you…it'd be great." Gage chuckled, breathlessly in the bliss of her recovery. John did not reply, only his breath made noise as they lay there for sometime, a minute or two, catching their breaths and descending from their hanging gardens. John was the first to rise, he sat up and grabbed his boxers and pants from the floor and slid them on. Gage watched, from the bed as he stood and fetched his shirt, mesmerized by his features._

"_What?" he asked grinning stupidly._

"_You're a beautiful man, the most beautiful I've ever seen I think." She grinned too. He smiled that million-dollar smile of his and threw his shirt on faster. She wanted to rise from the bed, but her nakedness, for the first time in her life, was making her uneasy. She covered herself with a piece of cloth resting at the foot of the bed, but John leaned forward, his hand out to her. Gage looked down at his gigantic palm and put her little hand in it and stood from the bed; her dress was on the floor, and John picked it up carefully. He held it above her head and she slid into it with ease, but he looked around on the floor for anything else that belonged to her._

"_Didn't you have panties?" he asked seriously from behind her as he zipped up her dress._

"_Nope." _

"_And why is that?" he asked, curious._

"_I was…hopeful." She said turning around finally. He shook his head and looked away from her, as if timid about something._

"_I'm sorry." He muttered, Gage turned, confused._

"_About what?"_

"_Now…I was kind of…rough. I hope I didn't hurt you." He inquired, finishing to dress. Gage smiled inwardly as she fixed her hair in front of the mirror._

"_I said I would take you anyway John; I meant it. Don't have any inhibitions with me, ever, please. I enjoyed your err…roughness, and you seemed to enjoy it a great deal too." _

_John didn't respond to her deductive reasoning and simply smiled; and it was more than enough. She came in front of him to fix his tie, and when she was done, she murmured._

"_Until next time Johnny…at my exhibition?"_

"_You can count on it." He reassured and the cheeriest of smiles was plastered to her face._

"_Are you going back to Tampa already?" he continued._

"_Yes; I've had everything I desired and more." _

"_Me too."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yes, you told me what I wanted to know, and we…" he drifted then sighed. "Now that the ice is melted and the guards are down, what do we do?" he asked, his brow creasing in wariness._

"_Hey, I'll make sure you never regret this choice Johnny. I'd hate to see you miserable because of me. You're safe with me."_

"_And what about you? Are you safe with me?"_

"_I've had enough danger for a lifetime and even if I weren't safe with you, I wouldn't tell Johnny." She chuckled, dropping her hands on his now covered chest._

"_I'll see you in four days. Until then, think of me." She kissed his cheek and did not wait for him to respond and left the Los Angeles, her libido sated…temporarily and a warm feeling in her chest._

OOO

Gage looked from the corner of her eye as he turned to one of her paintings and studied his features in his dark blue suit. Broad shoulders, narrowing down to a firm waist, standing on sculptured legs; the rays of heat emanating from her eyes were so flagrant, Gage felt they broke through the crowd. She was shaken out of her trance by a hand at her elbow she turned brusquely.

"Damn girl...how bad do you have it?"

It was the eccentric Mr Barns who stood a few inches shorter than her with her heels; he was dressed in a bright red suit topped with a polka dot blue tie and a black shirt. She smiled, grateful it hadn't been anyone else watching her.

"Barns, now that's what I call a suit, you look radiant." she complimented, trying to turn his attention to something else.

"I thought so too." he grinned, smiling a smart smile of pride.

"Miss Jansen, these people seem to love your work, I have orders for three of them already."

"I'm glad." she simply affirmed, taking a sip of her wine. The photographs, and journalists, and all their flashes and their questions…they seemed more interested in John than her, he was so present and so remarked, it almost made her feel dark whenever she was in the same room as him.

"Poor girl…you have it so bad." Barns exclaimed, she turned again and raised her eyebrow.

"Don't look surprised now! It's clear you're drooling over the _him_ over there! Nothing's stopping you; go get your man!" he patted her back.

"Barns, please…It's complicated." She sighed.

"It always is, but you're in my hall right now, looking like the only woman on earth when what you need is three steps away."

"It's complicated…" she sighed again in defeat, throwing a glance at John's arm, on which Liz, now had a firm grip on. She turned and looked away.

"So that's it huh?" he said. "Girl, following my experience, this type of shady affair leads nowhere its good to be."

"I can handle it. It's him I'm more worried about."

"Are you? I'm looking at you two and it looks like you're _both_ to worry about. He's been sending death threats whenever someone approached you, he's on his forth glass of champagne; and it's just been fifteen minutes he's here; the boy is definitely craving something."

And she would be so glad to satiate him…

"And you young Lady…I'm speaking to you!" Barns pinched her lightly on her arm and she winced, her attention coming back to him.

"Your eyes won't burn if you don't look at him. Give him a break!"

"I should call you Papa instead of by your first name." she chuckled.

"I would have a coronary if I had a daughter like you…you are one disconcerting woman."

"I'd be glad if I'd had a father like you Barns." She complimented, putting her hands on his shoulder. He smiled, making his graceful wrinkles pull lightly. He was one oddity; grey hair, and still something about him screamed youth and energy.

"And have you had news about Mr Jaworski? I still have a few of his originals here, he might need them."

"No, not recently at least." She replied, her gaze turning ahead at the memory of Nicholas. Her temper rose for a fraction of a second, but soon it fell back, thinking of Nicholas, his saddened face, as he sulked the last time in the park. She'd been hard on him, and as soon as she got back, she would call him and apologize, with the condition he dared not talk about love again, or fancy anything of the type could happen between them.

"Anything happened with Mr Jaworski, Gage? He seemed so delighted to see you last time. Like a man in love…"

"Nothing in particular Barns. If I see him, I'll let him know and, stop pressing me like a lemon."

"I think Mr Jaworski is very fund of you and your work. He thinks highly of you and speaks in eloquent terms of your talent Miss Jansen. He…almost _adores_ you." He started. "But…never mind what the old man says…Good night. It's yours."

What a bizarre old man. Gage was left to herself, but not long enough. The Michael Murphy Gallery was crowded, there were at least two people in front of every painting, gazing with shinning eyes, and smiles on their faces. It was almost…heart warming. Warming her heart caged in the snow, and casted in snow, yet when she could feel him; his blue eyes, there was an uneasiness, and a heat, it was hard so subdue the reddening of her skin beneath her black dress. She wanted to wear that dress by Oscar de la Renta; the one John had leisurely taken off her. Instead, she'd opted for a long sleeved, black dress that reached down to her ankles, with a very high sleet that exposed her entire left leg when she walked.

"Gage."

As she heard her name, her chest tightened, yet it was not the voice…that virile voice that had ordered commands to her four days ago and made cry in pleasure.

"Oh, Nicholas. I hoped you'd come."

"Really?" he asked. His blond curly hair was shorter and neatly brushed into natural waves, he wore a suit too; a dark grey suit, with a shite shirt, he had no tie and his neck was visible.

"Yes. I'm happy you're here now." She assured him, and his lips split into a small smile.

"Miss Jansen, you've put me through hell these days."

"I know. I think your punishment is over now. I apologize for my behaviour and I've forgiven you; now I know you've never meant any harm."

"Thank you." He grinned, all teeth showing now. He grabbed her hand with both of his, and brought them to his lips and put a small kiss on them. Nicholas was the knight in the dazzling armour, galloping to her every time she would need him, and defying the odds for his damsel. He was probably the best man she'd met and the most honest of friends; if she could call him that much. He would put his heart in her hands- if she asked nicely- and make her swear to take care of it, yet she couldn't bring herself to endorse that charge. She would drop it, and it would meet the floor, and shatter into pieces, he would not find until years and years again. No, she couldn't do that to him.

"I am in awe of your genius, I shall take one of these home." He said in front of her paintings.

"Then I should have one of your photographs as well. I don't remember owning any."

"That's because _you are_ the photographs." He chuckled. The dived into a conversation about art, and their infamous debates on the theories of the art, the endless battle between modern art and its precedents. Nicholas was hard headed, just like her and his arguments were biased instead of supported by facts.

"You can't say _The Scream_ was a bad painting. Abstract yes, but its like I said _The Afghan girl_ was a flop!" she chuckled. "…Photographers…" she sighed.

"We're…picky!" he smiled. "I was wondering if you…" he hesitated, his hand into his curls. "If you would like to…pose for me again." He bit his lip.

"I-'

"Jaworski! How nice of a surprise, Gage didn't tell me you were coming." John's voice was the fire melting all her layers of ice. He came in and greeted Nicholas firmly, his big hand probably squeezing Nicholas's precious one.

"Glad to see you too John, how are you since the last time?" he said, his words a little scattered.

"Great." John replied, turning to look down at Gage. The three stood in silence awareness, occasionally sipping on their drinks.

"Nicholas, Barns wanted to see you, he said you'd left some originals here. He's at the counter." She said.

"I won't be long."

"We know." John murmured as he passed him by. Nicholas, like a gentleman, refused to direct further thinking to John's comment, gave them a slight nod before walking away. Gage giggled lightly, rolling her eyes at John lightly.

"Sometimes, I wish he could pull his tongue off the floor. Tssk." He rolled his eyes too.

"How are you Gigi?" he asked sweetly in his masculine voice. She almost spilled her drink onto the floor and widened her eyes at him.

"_Gi…gi?_"

"I took a few liberties now that we've had a few things _settled."_ He said calmly. Who was this? And what had they made of John?

"I see a sobriquet is part of them; what else?"

"You'll know soon enough. So, how are you?" he inquired, grinning maliciously. She looked up at him, and a few times, she wanted to gasp for air, for he was handsome and seemed to give nothing away; it made him irresistible.

"I've missed you." She confessed, standing up to his gaze.

"Good answer." He smiled his special smile with those dimples. The silence settled, but it was a bad one, filled with sexual tension, heat and fancies of lone spaces, and surfaces comfortable enough to fulfil them.

"So! Liberties huh?"

"Do you have anything planned for tonight?" he said, not answering her question.

"Not yet."

"Well now you do. You, me and…I have a _Brissac_ I bought for the occasion. We could…talk." He smiled.

"About what?"

"Well, anything, departing fathers, suicidal mothers, lonely sixteen year old girls, and the list is endless."

"I thought we'd covered that, but if you really wish…"

"I do."

"Then we'll talk."

"So basically; I can just squeeze anything out of you?"

"Hmm…Yes, basically."

"Okay, do you want me? Now I mean." He asked. For the second time of the night, she could spit her drink, but it would splash on John's impeccable suit, so she's rather not.

"John, not in public, someone could hear you."

"Just answer."

She sighed, and took another huge sip of her champagne.

"Yes, I want to fuck you right now." She said; flat, straight to his eyes and what does he do? He grins and fixes his tie, loosening it slightly.

"How?" he continued, turning towards a painting and pretending to be observing it.

"John!" she exclaimed, but he gave her 'Come on' look.

"I was thinking…I still have some ugly scratch marks on my waist from your fingers, so, perhaps, I should tie you up next time. "

"No way in hell. I like your ugly scratch marks, as long as I'm the only one to see them."

"Most certainly."

They both could never think their story could become more than the casual husband and mistress relationship, seen and heard of a thousand times. But beyond the boundaries of physical, carnal need, a bond was created; a strong, powerful, and dangerous bond.


	16. Chapter 16

At ten o'clock, when the exhibition was over, and everyone gone home, Gage

made the count with Barns. Five of her paintings had been bought already, and she'd made as much as seventeen thousand dollars from them. But as she drove back to her house, enjoying the sounds of Amy Winehouse's _Love is a loosing game_, she wasn't thrilled by money she'd earned or the satisfaction an artist had from living off his art. She had a bundle of anxiety in her stomach, and drove with an impatience she'd rarely ever felt. It was all resumed in one word, a name, his name; John. He'd transformed; like he should have…a few months earlier than planned though. She smiled, the lights of thirty Sixth Street parading in front of her car, and then she reached her street and looked over at his house as she slid into the driveway. She got out of her Jeep and ran the steps up to her front door, her heels in her hands; she opened the door easily; too easily. She pushed the door opened and noticed it wasn't locked. The lights were on, and curiously tip toed into her own house, and tried to remember the place she'd kept that gun she'd had to use hitherto, back in Netherlands. When life was tough, the nights long and cold in the empty house Diana had left for her.

"What are you doing?" A voice made her jump slightly and she turned to the door of the living area.

"John!" she breathed, putting her hand against her heart. "You need to stop scaring me like this. I'm fragile damn it." She dropped her heels on the floor and walked passed him into the living room and crashed into her white cotton sofa.

"Fragile huh? I don't think so." He chuckled. He picked up the shoes on the floor and put them besides the door. He still had his shirt and pants from the suit he wore tonight.

"I guess I should give you a double of the keys now, since ringing a bell or knocking doesn't work for you."

"Nah….I'm doing just fine." He shrugged.

"I bet you are. Where is Liz?"

"At her sister's, she's throwing a baby shower tomorrow." He murmured. He came and sat next to her.

"So you're all mine tonight?" she grinned and he smiled widely that beautiful smile of his.

"To grant your every wish…"

Her chest burned as the words infiltrated her thoughts. Intoxicated thoughts. She remembered the night in Beverly Hills; how she'd come to a point she'd even given up on her chase and how he made her turn around. She crawled up to him on the sofa and threw her leg over his; her knee inadvertently caressing his groin. She'd dreamed this moment a million times within the last four days, reliving and reviving every caress and every chill down her neck. She undressed him with her eyes. It was something she rarely did, but as John had made it a point to make her wait, she'd learned to use her eyes only; to be alert to his every move, to study his features, acquaint to the way his body reacted... He moved finally, and reached for her back and unzipped her dress; she looked at him, astonished.

"I thought you wanted to talk."

"We will." He said bringing her closer and pushing her dress down her arms. "Later."

"No, now." She objected.

Who could've thought? In this very moment, she would've cherished more than anything on her normal days, she was denying him, right here, right now.

"What do you want to talk about?" he asked, his jaw tensing.

"You; what happened last time. I'm still slightly confused, and I'd like to know where you stand."

"I told you already." He sighed shifting on the sofa uncomfortably and turning his head to the side.

"Tell me again then."

"I don't want to discuss this now Gage, I came here to talk about you, not me."

"John, can we please get this conversation over before I get out of my nerves please? For Christ's sake."

"There's nothing to talk about; you were right, I'm a cheating and lying little fiend. I hate myself as much as I hate to say it and I still do, except when…"

"…Except when you guilt me out of it."

"Oh." She replied. The stern in her voice was gone and she sat back looking at him with compassion and slight pity. He had it heavy on his conscience, yet he was making the step. Not a step, he was letting himself free falling into this spiral of malevolence and foolery. She wasn't made of stone, but what she was made of was close; nevertheless, she had to admire the struggle going on John's side. The doorbell rang and blew off her thoughts. Straightening, she walked to the door, eyeing John as he lay without a care in the middle of the living area.

"You might want to go upstairs in case…"

"No need, it's the Chinese you ordered." He shrugged, apparently relaxing a bit more.

"_Chinese?_...I ordered? Didn't I tell you I ha-"

"I thought I'd reconcile you with Chinese take out, while pressing you like a lemon." He smiled confidently turning his head to look at her. Gage sighed, shaking her head then turning to the door. It was indeed the deliveryman, she paid and signed the form and set the bags on the counter in her kitchen. He stood and walked towards her and took out the rest of the stuff from the bag.

"You're very demanding John, I'm starting to wonder if it's worth doing this." She said, picking the items out of the bag one by one.

"It's worth it. If it isn't for you, then it is for me." He said. She stopped, putting down the chopsticks and looking up at him.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why is it worth it _now_? A few days ago, you were all up on us being friends first and taking our time. Imagine the confusion going through me right now."

"You're confused, and so am I. Look, I don't want to get into the how or the why we got here Gage. I don't want to think it through all over again. Let's just talk and have dinner."

"I'm sorry." She muttered. She picked up what smelled like noodles still in the box and brought them over to the coffee table in the living room. She handed John his pair of chopsticks, which he used with a careful precision as he dug into the noodles.

"Do you eat a lot of _these_ while you're traveling?" she asked, still poking at her noodles.

"Yep." He answered, his mouth full. He took another big mouthful of his noodles and chewed, seemingly loving the taste of them. Gage knew the taste of these, but the taste reminded her old memories; of a skinny little red head who fought for her own survival, her stability, and even her health. It reminded her days of weakness, during which, some attention; a look, a caress or a few words would've been the highlights of her days.

"John I-' she began, ogling the food in disgust.

"No, try it. It's the best in town." He pleaded shifting closer to her on the white sofa. Gage eyed the food again, attempting to catch some noodles between the chopsticks but dropped the food down.

"I could've cooked John…" she sighed like a child.

John scowled at her, his eyebrow slightly raised and his lips pressed tightly together.

"Fine, give me some. I promise I'll eat." She declined and his mouth twitched in a wry smile. He picked some noodles and brought them to her mouth, which opened reluctantly.

"How's it?" he asked as she chewed. Honestly, it wasn't bad at all. But the cheap taste of fried ingredients and the vision of pepper and salt in little plastic pockets made her crabby.

"It's okay. Eatable, but I still prefer a steak with vegetables and a Bourbon."

"At least you tried." He replied.

"I take example from you Johnny." She replied sweetly. A spark of sweet seduction in her voice made the entire atmosphere go a few degrees higher, John smiled. Everything relaxed all of a sudden, she was Gage again and he was Johnny again.

"I think we should go upstairs now and get each other hot and sweaty Johnny." She said confidently and saw the smirk in the corner of his beautiful mouth, it was all the answer she needed. She stood abruptly tossing everything aside, she locked the front doors, and shut the windows closed, turned off the lights in the living except from the one lamp that lit the room with an orange filtered light. She grabbed John's hand and walked him upstairs, walking ahead of him, dragging him carefully with her into her bedroom.

"Do you know what you're getting into Johnny?"

"No."

"Good, follow the guide." She said, dragging him inside and closing the door behind them.

She was exactly as he'd seen her in his dreams or nightmares; a succubus holding out her lamp for him to follow. The meanest grins over her glorious and triumphant face, but he felt no revulsion, no pride towards her egotistically satisfied smile. Whatever he was willing to give, she was willing to take and nothing more, no expectations or ideals, no commitments or promises. She turned and he finally took off the dress she wore off her and it fell to floor, her long ginger hair covering most of her chest, and falling down her back.

"You should really wear panties." He remarked.

"I don't wear panties only when you're around. I told you."

"What will I do with you Gage? You're incorrigible." He said, while she took off his shirt. She was fast at it, swift and precise movements, like she knew her way around every corner. Experience probably, but he didn't want to venture and imagine how many men she'd undressed like she did him now. She pushed him to the edge of the bed as she slid his belt off his pants.

"You had your way last time Johnny. It's time for retaliation."

"Should I brace myself?" he cocked his head to the side.

"It goes without saying."

There was no or almost no light in the room. Her window was open, wind blowing through her transparent curtains and the main source of light came from the moon, which peeked at her window, and appearing so big it could've fallen into the trees. John inhaled a shaky breath and kicked out of his shoes.

"Is there anything you don't like to do or to be done?" she questioned, kneeling between his legs, naked.

"Not that I know."

"We'll explore."

"Explore?"

"Explore." She confirmed, her knees coming to the floor. "I'll need restraining sometimes though, I don't have to bite or scratch you. It could leave marks, so I'll need you to do something about it."

"Something like what?"

Her head snapped upwards as she crawled to him, putting her hands on his thighs then up to hem of his pants.

"You're smart Johnny, you'll find something." She said pulling down his zipper.

"What if I hurt you?"

"I'll bare my teeth."

Was it courage or pure insanity? The fierce look in her eyes told she was graveyard serious. No vein on the base of her neck trembled, her lower lip did not quiver; she did not shake, her words weren't strangled by any doubt; she wasn't afraid, she was ready.

"Don't look at me like I'm crazed Johnny. You on the other hand get to have granted access to do anything you want to me." She whispered, pulling his pants down so they pooled at his feet.

"Absolutely anything?" he asked and she nodded.

"As long as it remains in the norms of the humanly possible." She chuckled. "Are you worried?"

"More than you'd know."

"I know, but I'm here to make it better John. All this…what we're doing…I can't find a rational explanation; it's just something we have to do. Until it gets out of our heads."

"I thought it would last time."

"Silly you." She chuckled inching forward so her face came near his. She moved her mouth closer to his, tempting him and he inched forward to kiss her back but she then pulled away before their lips could touch.

"Unnerving isn't it?" She started. "This is what you do to me, every day Johnny." She said lowly. Making it sound like a whisper, her lower lip quivered and her face had reddened. She moved suavely between his legs, her face inches away from his again, her body dancing into his lap, while her hands moved up his thighs slowly. Her grey eyes shot him a glare before they closed and her mouth touched his. He hesitated a second, thinking she would pull back again, but she didn't, she left small tentative kisses on his lips.

"No regrets Johnny." She murmured then pulled back. "Even if you don't want me anymore after this." She continued, cupping his face, she kissed the side of his face urgently.

"No regrets." He replied, and he saw the anguish vanish off her features in a long and slow sigh. She climbed back to her feet, her nakedness obstructing any sense of rational thought.

"Kiss my body John." She said. There was no plea in her statement; she was not asking him…she was ordering him. He felt slightly pushed by her suggestion, but uncontrollably bewitched and mesmerized. He grabbed her hips and brought his lips to her skin; he kissed her thigh, holding her firmly by her butt cheeks. He heard a moan as his mouth climbed upwards, his teeth tugging the slightly visible hipbones. She gripped the back of his head as he trailed passionate kisses down the sensitive area of her lower abdomen, then to her sex. She quivered, and almost lost her balance; but he would catch her before she could hit the floor he thought. The sensibility she lacked in her emotions was present in her body, for; she was as responsive as a teenage girl. How could that be? Her skin reddened as if she'd caught sunburn, heating beneath his fingers. He left another featherlike kiss in her sensitive cunt, her body shaking from tension; it was an entire spectacle to itself; Gage; at a disadvantage. His kisses grew harsher, tugging her skin, and darting his tongue to lick her with aggressive impatience. She moaned loudly; whimpering even but still enjoying the torture.

"Enough!" she squealed, moving out of his grasp. She was flushed, a quivering mess.

"I thought you wanted this." He snickered, grinning at her, mocking her sensitivity.

"I do, but I'm not the one supposed to _come_ here. You are."

"We _both_ can you know. Sex isn't one sided." He chuckled.

"I derive my pleasure from seeing you getting yours; that's how I work. Now shut up." She said, kneeling and pulling off his boxer briefs. She smiled, almost proudly at the hardness of his cock; she licked her lips and pumped his length and everything became groans, shots of adrenaline and pleasure, pumping his blood faster and making everything go dark. He gripped her soft hair for support as she gulped him into her mouth, the pleasure was excruciating yet so delicious. He groaned loudly, her name and some other inaudible cursing, steadying his breath in even pattern to contain himself from coming into her mouth. He heard her giggle sardonically as she sucked him; how appropriate a gesture from a succubus. She went on and on, draining him to the edge but her mouth grew tired and sore and she retrieved her mouth from his cock.

"Now! Resistant aren't you Johnny?" she chuckled, her hands slowing down the pumping on his now erect shaft. He collapsed onto his back on the bed. She climbed over him, looking down with fake pity at him.

"Condoms or no condoms?" she perked her head to the side. He raised his eyebrow, still trying to get his mind around everything.

"I'm on the pill, but if you'd wished to be vigilant, we can use cond-"

"I don't care, you choose." He sighed. She grinned, her hands caressing him on his torso.

"I could be infected by some disease, you don't know if I'm clean." She frowned.

"You aren't right?"

"Of course not, I've done this enough to know to take my precautions, you on the other hand, seem to take this lightly." She said, her tone slightly stern and authoritative, almost reproaching him. He fixed her, and she sighed then resumed to leaving kisses on his torso behind her hands. She crawled between his legs and kissed his neck sweetly. His skin was covered with a thin veil of sweat, glistening in the dark. Gage had become all sensual and sexual all over again, her head was on his chest, kissing his pectorals, her teeth clawing his nipple, and he cringed from the jolt of pleasure.

"I'm glad you trust me Johnny and if I didn't know you, I'd think you're inconsiderate."

May be he was. He pursed his lips, from the pleasure she inflicted to his body with her sinful mouth, and because he didn't know what to say. A switch in his head had been erased from his head since the night of the kick off party at the Beverly Hills Hotel. He could still remember her words…

'_You're just afraid John; you know if you bite the apple, you'll want more of it, more and more… It's why you're here right now, and not out there with Liz.'_

John walked on the sensitive and thin line every man walked onto during his life. The line between good and bad, right and wrong, God and Evil; and he was afraid he'd stumbled into the wrong side. It'd never been in his plans to lie to his wife, nor had it been to be an unfaithful husband, and Gage, he didn't even know who she was, but he couldn't stop himself, from knocking at her door desperately. She alleviated something in him, deeper than the pleasure in his flesh; a sense of freedom and liberty.

Gage straddled John, feeling the friction as she impaled her body onto his big and hard shaft.

"Let's see if you resist this." She laughed, with salacious and sordid pleasure obvious in her voice. She hadn't lied when she'd said he should brace himself, Gage rode him with perfection, fulfilling each one of his fantasies. Her perky breasts bouncing in a slow rhythm in the moonlight, her hips swaying in accordance to his, her hands resting on his chest. The flawlessness of her movements amazed him as he gripped her to him. The wind through the window was cool, but not enough to dissipate the heat between their bodies, then the rain began to pour outside, forming haze over the glass window. John gripped Gage tighter, bucking his hips to her, inserting his length into her to show her he was still in control.

"John!" her hands gripped him tighter on his chest, but her nails never scrapped him. Soon, they began to shake as her body began to convulse. She threw her head back, and arched her back, never stopping the swaying of her hips. Her hands shook even more and he remembered her hands couldn't graze or scratch him; it would leave noticeable marks on his skin; of course.

"John m…hands!" she sobbed desperately. She was close to the climax, but her body wouldn't relax into his. He sat up against the bed head so she was astride of him. John then took her hands behind her back, gripping her both wrists in one of his hands, Gage moaned in protest, but she didn't fight it and capitulated into the command. The ardour, with which he held her in that position, could be sensed as their gazes met for a few seconds in a moment of intense passion and plenitude. He breathed into her neck, and she breathed into his; despite the small kisses and suctions on his ear, Gage restrained from marking any spot with an unwelcome love mark or a bruise. It was difficult, but she tried. John, on the other hand, went no holds bared, literally chewing the skin of her collarbone; he drew intricate patterns with his tongue and made no prisoners. With her hands behind her back, there wasn't much she could do; John held her wrists tighter, while his other hands pulled on one of her nipples and his teeth pulled on the other. It was very animalistic, the way he could enslave her into his pleasure and make it good for both of them. They were dragged by the torrents of lust, inching slowly towards the edge, but they didn't abandon themselves into it together. Gage gave up first, her body no able to withstand the torture and the restraining any longer, she caved in. She whimpered loudly, her climax sending shocking waves through her body; she struggled out of his grip weakly, but he never let her hands go. He bit down on her nipple harshly, she winced and her body tensed, then calmed down as he soothed the pain with the gentle swirls of his tongue.

"How….d'you do that?" she cried as she moaned into his ear. "Ow John!"

She repeated his name incessantly and then he was sent overboard. He could feel it mounting inside of him, gathering with every thrust and every breath. John let go of her hands and held Gage's back, while another hand was firmly around her waist.

"Come to me Johnny…" she begged, cradling his face tenderly in the crook of her neck. It was like entering the city of wonders; it was intense and new, better than the night in LA, better than anything before. Heaven…or was it Hell, welcomed him, with arms open wide as her body called for him, milking him, and depriving him from any trail of thought. He cursed inaudible words too, calling for help; it was too good, his body rang bells, but like every good thing, there was an end to it. The doors of closed and heaven or hell closed onto him, they stayed there for a while, their bodies still attached, in the prosper silence of the night, not saying a word.

Gage breathed peacefully into his back and him into her neck, but their haven of peace was disturbed by the noise of the window hastily closing. They jumped, surprised by the aggressive clack. They turned, and sighed noticing it was only the wind and looked at each other and Gage giggled then John joined her in her laughter.

"Oh, thank you Johnny." She said, cupping his face. "It was absolutely…exquisite." She murmured into his ear before climbing off him. She gasped as he slid out of her, her body immediately feeling the loss. She laid next to him, on her stomach, the sheets covering only her waist down.

"Are you okay Johnny?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He answered. Gage saw the puzzled look on John's face, the doubt, and the fear. She sat up immediately, clutching the sheets to her chest.

"John don't, you said it, no regrets."

"I know. I need sometime to adjust to this that's all."

"If you need some distance I can m-"

"No, anything but that. It's hard as it is already. We've started this, we'll finish it."

"I couldn't agree more." She smiled.

"Talk to me, that's what I need right now."

"About what?"

"Anything, your mother, your life, I just want you to talk to me."

"Okay, but what about her?"

"Did you love her? How was your relationship?" he inquired. She lied down again, resuming her posture under the sheet, John joined her covering his body at the waist as well, putting his hand behind his head his head turned to observe her.

"M-…Diana got pregnant with me when she was very young, and even though she never said it, I know she loved my father. He'd left her when she'd told him she was expecting, and swore I wasn't his."

"Aouch." He interjected, and Gage nodded.

"She was very beautiful though, and Diana always brought a man home, but nothing serious. She liked me to stay in my room, and if I saw her, I shouldn't call her Mum; it chased them away she said. She loved flowers, Lilacs, to wear the latest trend, expensive jewellery, and more than anything, Diana loved to be loved. She hated to cook, she said it soiled her hands and she hated to have to do the dishes before a date." She chuckled.

"Talk about one great mother." John snorted.

"Don't judge her. She'd never asked to be a mother, she could've gotten rid of me, she could've let one of her boyfriends abuse me, but she didn't, in her own way, she protected me."

"She probably didn't think of it in that way."

"I don't care. I was incredibly lucky, but when she died, the hard times really began."

"Why did she kill herself?" he asked, remembering she'd told him that a while ago. She snorted and gazed at him.

"Why do you think? A man of course, she'd been sullen for days and I suspected there was something wrong but she wouldn't tell me. The typical thing, he was married, she fell in love and after he'd set her up, he broke her down, they always did anyway… The school had called at home to tell her I was in detention…' Gage paused to laugh sardonically. "When they said no one picked up, I don't know…I just knew she'd… There was so much blood; I had to clean for days…" she trailed, her eyes looking into his lividly, like she was somewhere else. He hurt for her, trying to imagine the pain she never let transpire, but her voice was perfectly steady, clear and explicit, she didn't seem hurt, her expression was cold, like frozen in time.

"Where you sad?"

Gage shot him a glare. What a stupidly obvious question, for a sixteen-year-old girl who'd never had anyone else. He regretted his question from the second it'd gotten passed his lips.

"I suppose but it was long ago John. The real hard times began afterwards, Dickensian style. I had no family, almost no money, newly dropped out. I had no skills whatsoever." The mood became heavy and John sighed a few times before noticing she wasn't ready to talk anymore about that.

"You said you'd done this enough time to know…I'm curious, how long?" he asked, grinning. He propped himself on his right elbow, looking down at her.

"You want to know when I started having…sex?" she twisted her eyebrow at the question. He nodded, the mood was obviously lighter and John, grinned like a little boy, eager to receive a candy.

"No, you don't want to know that John." She shook her head and he rolled his eyes.

"Oh come on!" he pleaded.

"You'll be…borderline disgusted by me!"

"You promised Gage, you said anything." He sighed. There was a minute of silence and John scowled at her even more, so she capitulated again.

"My first time was…" she paused, muttering a few cursing. "I was thirteen."

"Oh, that's it? I thought-"

"It was with my science teacher John."


	17. Chapter 17

At ten o'clock, when the exhibition was over, and everyone gone home, Gage

made the count with Barns. Five of her paintings had been bought already, and she'd made as much as seventeen thousand dollars from them. But as she drove back to her house, enjoying the sounds of Amy Winehouse's _Love is a loosing game_, she wasn't thrilled by money she'd earned or the satisfaction an artist had from living off his art. She had a bundle of anxiety in her stomach, and drove with an impatience she'd rarely ever felt. It was all resumed in one word, a name, his name; John. He'd transformed; like he should have…a few months earlier than planned though. She smiled, the lights of thirty Sixth Street parading in front of her car, and then she reached her street and looked over at his house as she slid into the driveway. She got out of her Jeep and ran the steps up to her front door, her heels in her hands; she opened the door easily; too easily. She pushed the door opened and noticed it wasn't locked. The lights were on, and curiously tip toed into her own house, and tried to remember the place she'd kept that gun she'd had to use hitherto, back in Netherlands. When life was tough, the nights long and cold in the empty house Diana had left for her.

"What are you doing?" A voice made her jump slightly and she turned to the door of the living area.

"John!" she breathed, putting her hand against her heart. "You need to stop scaring me like this. I'm fragile damn it." She dropped her heels on the floor and walked passed him into the living room and crashed into her white cotton sofa.

"Fragile huh? I don't think so." He chuckled. He picked up the shoes on the floor and put them besides the door. He still had his shirt and pants from the suit he wore tonight.

"I guess I should give you a double of the keys now, since ringing a bell or knocking doesn't work for you."

"Nah….I'm doing just fine." He shrugged.

"I bet you are. Where is Liz?"

"At her sister's, she's throwing a baby shower tomorrow." He murmured. He came and sat next to her.

"So you're all mine tonight?" she grinned and he smiled widely that beautiful smile of his.

"To grant your every wish…"

Her chest burned as the words infiltrated her thoughts. Intoxicated thoughts. She remembered the night in Beverly Hills; how she'd come to a point she'd even given up on her chase and how he made her turn around. She crawled up to him on the sofa and threw her leg over his; her knee inadvertently caressing his groin. She'd dreamed this moment a million times within the last four days, reliving and reviving every caress and every chill down her neck. She undressed him with her eyes. It was something she rarely did, but as John had made it a point to make her wait, she'd learned to use her eyes only; to be alert to his every move, to study his features, acquaint to the way his body reacted... He moved finally, and reached for her back and unzipped her dress; she looked at him, astonished.

"I thought you wanted to talk."

"We will." He said bringing her closer and pushing her dress down her arms. "Later."

"No, now." She objected.

Who could've thought? In this very moment, she would've cherished more than anything on her normal days, she was denying him, right here, right now.

"What do you want to talk about?" he asked, his jaw tensing.

"You; what happened last time. I'm still slightly confused, and I'd like to know where you stand."

"I told you already." He sighed shifting on the sofa uncomfortably and turning his head to the side.

"Tell me again then."

"I don't want to discuss this now Gage, I came here to talk about you, not me."

"John, can we please get this conversation over before I get out of my nerves please? For Christ's sake."

"There's nothing to talk about; you were right, I'm a cheating and lying little fiend. I hate myself as much as I hate to say it and I still do, except when…"

"…Except when you guilt me out of it."

"Oh." She replied. The stern in her voice was gone and she sat back looking at him with compassion and slight pity. He had it heavy on his conscience, yet he was making the step. Not a step, he was letting himself free falling into this spiral of malevolence and foolery. She wasn't made of stone, but what she was made of was close; nevertheless, she had to admire the struggle going on John's side. The doorbell rang and blew off her thoughts. Straightening, she walked to the door, eyeing John as he lay without a care in the middle of the living area.

"You might want to go upstairs in case…"

"No need, it's the Chinese you ordered." He shrugged, apparently relaxing a bit more.

"_Chinese?_...I ordered? Didn't I tell you I ha-"

"I thought I'd reconcile you with Chinese take out, while pressing you like a lemon." He smiled confidently turning his head to look at her. Gage sighed, shaking her head then turning to the door. It was indeed the deliveryman, she paid and signed the form and set the bags on the counter in her kitchen. He stood and walked towards her and took out the rest of the stuff from the bag.

"You're very demanding John, I'm starting to wonder if it's worth doing this." She said, picking the items out of the bag one by one.

"It's worth it. If it isn't for you, then it is for me." He said. She stopped, putting down the chopsticks and looking up at him.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why is it worth it _now_? A few days ago, you were all up on us being friends first and taking our time. Imagine the confusion going through me right now."

"You're confused, and so am I. Look, I don't want to get into the how or the why we got here Gage. I don't want to think it through all over again. Let's just talk and have dinner."

"I'm sorry." She muttered. She picked up what smelled like noodles still in the box and brought them over to the coffee table in the living room. She handed John his pair of chopsticks, which he used with a careful precision as he dug into the noodles.

"Do you eat a lot of _these_ while you're traveling?" she asked, still poking at her noodles.

"Yep." He answered, his mouth full. He took another big mouthful of his noodles and chewed, seemingly loving the taste of them. Gage knew the taste of these, but the taste reminded her old memories; of a skinny little red head who fought for her own survival, her stability, and even her health. It reminded her days of weakness, during which, some attention; a look, a caress or a few words would've been the highlights of her days.

"John I-' she began, ogling the food in disgust.

"No, try it. It's the best in town." He pleaded shifting closer to her on the white sofa. Gage eyed the food again, attempting to catch some noodles between the chopsticks but dropped the food down.

"I could've cooked John…" she sighed like a child.

John scowled at her, his eyebrow slightly raised and his lips pressed tightly together.

"Fine, give me some. I promise I'll eat." She declined and his mouth twitched in a wry smile. He picked some noodles and brought them to her mouth, which opened reluctantly.

"How's it?" he asked as she chewed. Honestly, it wasn't bad at all. But the cheap taste of fried ingredients and the vision of pepper and salt in little plastic pockets made her crabby.

"It's okay. Eatable, but I still prefer a steak with vegetables and a Bourbon."

"At least you tried." He replied.

"I take example from you Johnny." She replied sweetly. A spark of sweet seduction in her voice made the entire atmosphere go a few degrees higher, John smiled. Everything relaxed all of a sudden, she was Gage again and he was Johnny again.

"I think we should go upstairs now and get each other hot and sweaty Johnny." She said confidently and saw the smirk in the corner of his beautiful mouth, it was all the answer she needed. She stood abruptly tossing everything aside, she locked the front doors, and shut the windows closed, turned off the lights in the living except from the one lamp that lit the room with an orange filtered light. She grabbed John's hand and walked him upstairs, walking ahead of him, dragging him carefully with her into her bedroom.

"Do you know what you're getting into Johnny?"

"No."

"Good, follow the guide." She said, dragging him inside and closing the door behind them.

She was exactly as he'd seen her in his dreams or nightmares; a succubus holding out her lamp for him to follow. The meanest grins over her glorious and triumphant face, but he felt no revulsion, no pride towards her egotistically satisfied smile. Whatever he was willing to give, she was willing to take and nothing more, no expectations or ideals, no commitments or promises. She turned and he finally took off the dress she wore off her and it fell to floor, her long ginger hair covering most of her chest, and falling down her back.

"You should really wear panties." He remarked.

"I don't wear panties only when you're around. I told you."

"What will I do with you Gage? You're incorrigible." He said, while she took off his shirt. She was fast at it, swift and precise movements, like she knew her way around every corner. Experience probably, but he didn't want to venture and imagine how many men she'd undressed like she did him now. She pushed him to the edge of the bed as she slid his belt off his pants.

"You had your way last time Johnny. It's time for retaliation."

"Should I brace myself?" he cocked his head to the side.

"It goes without saying."

There was no or almost no light in the room. Her window was open, wind blowing through her transparent curtains and the main source of light came from the moon, which peeked at her window, and appearing so big it could've fallen into the trees. John inhaled a shaky breath and kicked out of his shoes.

"Is there anything you don't like to do or to be done?" she questioned, kneeling between his legs, naked.

"Not that I know."

"We'll explore."

"Explore?"

"Explore." She confirmed, her knees coming to the floor. "I'll need restraining sometimes though, I don't have to bite or scratch you. It could leave marks, so I'll need you to do something about it."

"Something like what?"

Her head snapped upwards as she crawled to him, putting her hands on his thighs then up to hem of his pants.

"You're smart Johnny, you'll find something." She said pulling down his zipper.

"What if I hurt you?"

"I'll bare my teeth."

Was it courage or pure insanity? The fierce look in her eyes told she was graveyard serious. No vein on the base of her neck trembled, her lower lip did not quiver; she did not shake, her words weren't strangled by any doubt; she wasn't afraid, she was ready.

"Don't look at me like I'm crazed Johnny. You on the other hand get to have granted access to do anything you want to me." She whispered, pulling his pants down so they pooled at his feet.

"Absolutely anything?" he asked and she nodded.

"As long as it remains in the norms of the humanly possible." She chuckled. "Are you worried?"

"More than you'd know."

"I know, but I'm here to make it better John. All this…what we're doing…I can't find a rational explanation; it's just something we have to do. Until it gets out of our heads."

"I thought it would last time."

"Silly you." She chuckled inching forward so her face came near his. She moved her mouth closer to his, tempting him and he inched forward to kiss her back but she then pulled away before their lips could touch.

"Unnerving isn't it?" She started. "This is what you do to me, every day Johnny." She said lowly. Making it sound like a whisper, her lower lip quivered and her face had reddened. She moved suavely between his legs, her face inches away from his again, her body dancing into his lap, while her hands moved up his thighs slowly. Her grey eyes shot him a glare before they closed and her mouth touched his. He hesitated a second, thinking she would pull back again, but she didn't, she left small tentative kisses on his lips.

"No regrets Johnny." She murmured then pulled back. "Even if you don't want me anymore after this." She continued, cupping his face, she kissed the side of his face urgently.

"No regrets." He replied, and he saw the anguish vanish off her features in a long and slow sigh. She climbed back to her feet, her nakedness obstructing any sense of rational thought.

"Kiss my body John." She said. There was no plea in her statement; she was not asking him…she was ordering him. He felt slightly pushed by her suggestion, but uncontrollably bewitched and mesmerized. He grabbed her hips and brought his lips to her skin; he kissed her thigh, holding her firmly by her butt cheeks. He heard a moan as his mouth climbed upwards, his teeth tugging the slightly visible hipbones. She gripped the back of his head as he trailed passionate kisses down the sensitive area of her lower abdomen, then to her sex. She quivered, and almost lost her balance; but he would catch her before she could hit the floor he thought. The sensibility she lacked in her emotions was present in her body, for; she was as responsive as a teenage girl. How could that be? Her skin reddened as if she'd caught sunburn, heating beneath his fingers. He left another featherlike kiss in her sensitive cunt, her body shaking from tension; it was an entire spectacle to itself; Gage; at a disadvantage. His kisses grew harsher, tugging her skin, and darting his tongue to lick her with aggressive impatience. She moaned loudly; whimpering even but still enjoying the torture.

"Enough!" she squealed, moving out of his grasp. She was flushed, a quivering mess.

"I thought you wanted this." He snickered, grinning at her, mocking her sensitivity.

"I do, but I'm not the one supposed to _come_ here. You are."

"We _both_ can you know. Sex isn't one sided." He chuckled.

"I derive my pleasure from seeing you getting yours; that's how I work. Now shut up." She said, kneeling and pulling off his boxer briefs. She smiled, almost proudly at the hardness of his cock; she licked her lips and pumped his length and everything became groans, shots of adrenaline and pleasure, pumping his blood faster and making everything go dark. He gripped her soft hair for support as she gulped him into her mouth, the pleasure was excruciating yet so delicious. He groaned loudly, her name and some other inaudible cursing, steadying his breath in even pattern to contain himself from coming into her mouth. He heard her giggle sardonically as she sucked him; how appropriate a gesture from a succubus. She went on and on, draining him to the edge but her mouth grew tired and sore and she retrieved her mouth from his cock.

"Now! Resistant aren't you Johnny?" she chuckled, her hands slowing down the pumping on his now erect shaft. He collapsed onto his back on the bed. She climbed over him, looking down with fake pity at him.

"Condoms or no condoms?" she perked her head to the side. He raised his eyebrow, still trying to get his mind around everything.

"I'm on the pill, but if you'd wished to be vigilant, we can use cond-"

"I don't care, you choose." He sighed. She grinned, her hands caressing him on his torso.

"I could be infected by some disease, you don't know if I'm clean." She frowned.

"You aren't right?"

"Of course not, I've done this enough to know to take my precautions, you on the other hand, seem to take this lightly." She said, her tone slightly stern and authoritative, almost reproaching him. He fixed her, and she sighed then resumed to leaving kisses on his torso behind her hands. She crawled between his legs and kissed his neck sweetly. His skin was covered with a thin veil of sweat, glistening in the dark. Gage had become all sensual and sexual all over again, her head was on his chest, kissing his pectorals, her teeth clawing his nipple, and he cringed from the jolt of pleasure.

"I'm glad you trust me Johnny and if I didn't know you, I'd think you're inconsiderate."

May be he was. He pursed his lips, from the pleasure she inflicted to his body with her sinful mouth, and because he didn't know what to say. A switch in his head had been erased from his head since the night of the kick off party at the Beverly Hills Hotel. He could still remember her words…

'_You're just afraid John; you know if you bite the apple, you'll want more of it, more and more… It's why you're here right now, and not out there with Liz.'_

John walked on the sensitive and thin line every man walked onto during his life. The line between good and bad, right and wrong, God and Evil; and he was afraid he'd stumbled into the wrong side. It'd never been in his plans to lie to his wife, nor had it been to be an unfaithful husband, and Gage, he didn't even know who she was, but he couldn't stop himself, from knocking at her door desperately. She alleviated something in him, deeper than the pleasure in his flesh; a sense of freedom and liberty.

Gage straddled John, feeling the friction as she impaled her body onto his big and hard shaft.

"Let's see if you resist this." She laughed, with salacious and sordid pleasure obvious in her voice. She hadn't lied when she'd said he should brace himself, Gage rode him with perfection, fulfilling each one of his fantasies. Her perky breasts bouncing in a slow rhythm in the moonlight, her hips swaying in accordance to his, her hands resting on his chest. The flawlessness of her movements amazed him as he gripped her to him. The wind through the window was cool, but not enough to dissipate the heat between their bodies, then the rain began to pour outside, forming haze over the glass window. John gripped Gage tighter, bucking his hips to her, inserting his length into her to show her he was still in control.

"John!" her hands gripped him tighter on his chest, but her nails never scrapped him. Soon, they began to shake as her body began to convulse. She threw her head back, and arched her back, never stopping the swaying of her hips. Her hands shook even more and he remembered her hands couldn't graze or scratch him; it would leave noticeable marks on his skin; of course.

"John m…hands!" she sobbed desperately. She was close to the climax, but her body wouldn't relax into his. He sat up against the bed head so she was astride of him. John then took her hands behind her back, gripping her both wrists in one of his hands, Gage moaned in protest, but she didn't fight it and capitulated into the command. The ardour, with which he held her in that position, could be sensed as their gazes met for a few seconds in a moment of intense passion and plenitude. He breathed into her neck, and she breathed into his; despite the small kisses and suctions on his ear, Gage restrained from marking any spot with an unwelcome love mark or a bruise. It was difficult, but she tried. John, on the other hand, went no holds bared, literally chewing the skin of her collarbone; he drew intricate patterns with his tongue and made no prisoners. With her hands behind her back, there wasn't much she could do; John held her wrists tighter, while his other hands pulled on one of her nipples and his teeth pulled on the other. It was very animalistic, the way he could enslave her into his pleasure and make it good for both of them. They were dragged by the torrents of lust, inching slowly towards the edge, but they didn't abandon themselves into it together. Gage gave up first, her body no able to withstand the torture and the restraining any longer, she caved in. She whimpered loudly, her climax sending shocking waves through her body; she struggled out of his grip weakly, but he never let her hands go. He bit down on her nipple harshly, she winced and her body tensed, then calmed down as he soothed the pain with the gentle swirls of his tongue.

"How….d'you do that?" she cried as she moaned into his ear. "Ow John!"

She repeated his name incessantly and then he was sent overboard. He could feel it mounting inside of him, gathering with every thrust and every breath. John let go of her hands and held Gage's back, while another hand was firmly around her waist.

"Come to me Johnny…" she begged, cradling his face tenderly in the crook of her neck. It was like entering the city of wonders; it was intense and new, better than the night in LA, better than anything before. Heaven…or was it Hell, welcomed him, with arms open wide as her body called for him, milking him, and depriving him from any trail of thought. He cursed inaudible words too, calling for help; it was too good, his body rang bells, but like every good thing, there was an end to it. The doors of closed and heaven or hell closed onto him, they stayed there for a while, their bodies still attached, in the prosper silence of the night, not saying a word.

Gage breathed peacefully into his back and him into her neck, but their haven of peace was disturbed by the noise of the window hastily closing. They jumped, surprised by the aggressive clack. They turned, and sighed noticing it was only the wind and looked at each other and Gage giggled then John joined her in her laughter.

"Oh, thank you Johnny." She said, cupping his face. "It was absolutely…exquisite." She murmured into his ear before climbing off him. She gasped as he slid out of her, her body immediately feeling the loss. She laid next to him, on her stomach, the sheets covering only her waist down.

"Are you okay Johnny?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He answered. Gage saw the puzzled look on John's face, the doubt, and the fear. She sat up immediately, clutching the sheets to her chest.

"John don't, you said it, no regrets."

"I know. I need sometime to adjust to this that's all."

"If you need some distance I can m-"

"No, anything but that. It's hard as it is already. We've started this, we'll finish it."

"I couldn't agree more." She smiled.

"Talk to me, that's what I need right now."

"About what?"

"Anything, your mother, your life, I just want you to talk to me."

"Okay, but what about her?"

"Did you love her? How was your relationship?" he inquired. She lied down again, resuming her posture under the sheet, John joined her covering his body at the waist as well, putting his hand behind his head his head turned to observe her.

"M-…Diana got pregnant with me when she was very young, and even though she never said it, I know she loved my father. He'd left her when she'd told him she was expecting, and swore I wasn't his."

"Aouch." He interjected, and Gage nodded.

"She was very beautiful though, and Diana always brought a man home, but nothing serious. She liked me to stay in my room, and if I saw her, I shouldn't call her Mum; it chased them away she said. She loved flowers, Lilacs, to wear the latest trend, expensive jewellery, and more than anything, Diana loved to be loved. She hated to cook, she said it soiled her hands and she hated to have to do the dishes before a date." She chuckled.

"Talk about one great mother." John snorted.

"Don't judge her. She'd never asked to be a mother, she could've gotten rid of me, she could've let one of her boyfriends abuse me, but she didn't, in her own way, she protected me."

"She probably didn't think of it in that way."

"I don't care. I was incredibly lucky, but when she died, the hard times really began."

"Why did she kill herself?" he asked, remembering she'd told him that a while ago. She snorted and gazed at him.

"Why do you think? A man of course, she'd been sullen for days and I suspected there was something wrong but she wouldn't tell me. The typical thing, he was married, she fell in love and after he'd set her up, he broke her down, they always did anyway… The school had called at home to tell her I was in detention…' Gage paused to laugh sardonically. "When they said no one picked up, I don't know…I just knew she'd… There was so much blood; I had to clean for days…" she trailed, her eyes looking into his lividly, like she was somewhere else. He hurt for her, trying to imagine the pain she never let transpire, but her voice was perfectly steady, clear and explicit, she didn't seem hurt, her expression was cold, like frozen in time.

"Where you sad?"

Gage shot him a glare. What a stupidly obvious question, for a sixteen-year-old girl who'd never had anyone else. He regretted his question from the second it'd gotten passed his lips.

"I suppose but it was long ago John. The real hard times began afterwards, Dickensian style. I had no family, almost no money, newly dropped out. I had no skills whatsoever." The mood became heavy and John sighed a few times before noticing she wasn't ready to talk anymore about that.

"You said you'd done this enough time to know…I'm curious, how long?" he asked, grinning. He propped himself on his right elbow, looking down at her.

"You want to know when I started having…sex?" she twisted her eyebrow at the question. He nodded, the mood was obviously lighter and John, grinned like a little boy, eager to receive a candy.

"No, you don't want to know that John." She shook her head and he rolled his eyes.

"Oh come on!" he pleaded.

"You'll be…borderline disgusted by me!"

"You promised Gage, you said anything." He sighed. There was a minute of silence and John scowled at her even more, so she capitulated again.

"My first time was…" she paused, muttering a few cursing. "I was thirteen."

"Oh, that's it? I thought-"

"It was with my science teacher John."


	18. Chapter 18

"Your…teacher!"

"I knew I shouldn't have told you about this…" Gage sighed, turning her head so her face looked through the window.

"Did he…rape you?"

"No…It was consensual."

"You were _thirteen_!"

"It was my fault, he didn't force me into anything, please don't dramatize this." She turned back to look at him.

"Your first sexual intercourse happened with a man who could've been your father, you were barely a teenager, it's worse than illegal!"

"Oh misery."

"How did that happen? And how could your Mother let this happen?"

"She never knew John, and I told you it was consensual, he didn't seduce me, I _did._"

"I wonder what kind of thirteen year old brat seduces a grown ass man with reason. I don't buy it." He snapped. Gage sat up, wrapping the sheets around her breasts and came closer to John.

"I _wanted_ it. Look, I looked older than the other girls of my age, I was taller and curvier, I never spoke to anyone, and boys were stupid. And…_he_, looked at me differently, he could tell where I came from and…I…" she paused and put her face in her hands, hiding the blush of shame on her face.

"I've never been ashamed of the things I did until now." She confessed, shaking her head. "Mr Dekker was charming, and sexy as hell, so…one day when we were in his office, I told him I…"

"You told him…" John pushed. Gage opened her eyes after she'd released a deep breath; but there was a glare in her icy grey eyes.

"I told him I'd do _anything_ he wanted, and that I wouldn't tell anyone about it. Of course, he was reticent at first, so I err…tried to convince him the best way I could…Get the picture now _Johnny_?" she hissed. John looked away suddenly; a hint of recognition in her words hit him. He pictured a red haired skinny girl, with a shirt and kilt skirt, on her knees, pleasing her filthy professor…Disgusting.

It was simply disgusting. It was disgusting she'd lost her innocence so early; that she'd been corrupted, infected by vile and perverted men, and by life at such a young age. No matter what she could say, there was nothing to remedy the fact that John, considered it wasn't her fault. No matter how many times she'd say it was consensual and that it had been her idea, he couldn't just bring himself to believe it.

"So you see Johnny there is nothing good or sweet about me. There's never been." She snapped harshly. "The only regret I had is that it didn't last with Mr Dekker, the poor man was eaten by guilt, he couldn't even bring himself to look at me anymore."

"And you? How did you feel about yourself?"

"…Normal." She shrugged. "Nothing had changed for me, except physically, I was sore, and when I got home that night I had to sit on ice the entire evening. Mr Dekker'd been the rough type of guy."

"Enough please…"

"I hope you're sated now." She stood up from the bed, not bothering to cover herself, and walked to a chair where a silk robe was displayed.

"Where'r you going?"

"Downstairs, to make dinner. Are you hungry?"

"Not anymore."

"You asked for this John. It leaves me out cold to talk about these stories, but I don't want you to look at me as some monster. It's my life and I can't change it."

"I'm not asking you to change it, I'm just…"

"Horrified? Appalled? Does it make me less desirable to know these things about me? Either way John; I would understand. _Completely._"

"Not at all! But Gigi… your life looks like a book written from the Second World War, isn't it normal that I feel this way?" He countered, he got out of bed to follow her, putting his boxers and pants back on.

"John, I don't want you bothered with these details. You have so much on your mind already." She smiled tenderly at him, as she tightened the knot around her waist. John walked up to her, next to the door and she tip toed to peck his lips, he leaned down and accepted her lips on his while her hands grazed his jaw.

"Come, we can have dinner before you leave."

OOO

"I can't believe it!" John chuckled; looking closely at the piece of paper with multiple zeros Gage had taken from her bag.

"I can't either, I'd never sold so much on one night!"

"I'm sure you owe your success to a certain handsome superstar who was present at your exhibition tonight."

"Oh; so you mean this has nothing to do with talent my Dear John?" she cocked her head to the side.

"All I'm saying is-'

"All you're saying is that I'm an untalented, opportunist, who benefited from the good, _very_ good relationship she has with a certain wrestler? Is that what you're saying Johnny?" she grinned, walking closer to him, like a predator.

"I wouldn't dare Miss Jansen."

"Good, because Miss Jansen would've made sure to chastise you _appropriately_." Her face came closer to his, and she tapped the tip of his nose with her finger. She smiled, and John pulled her flush against him, her body encasing between his legs and kissed her fervently. It was a kind pleasure they were getting used to; kissing; just kissing. Their embrace was full of promise and passion, longing and need. John comforted himself into her mouth, his lips simply brushing and teasing her tongue, while Gage welcomed him, coaxing herself to his every move and adjusting to his rhythm.

A warmth settled in her chest, which was firmly against John's hard one. Her body softened, almost relaxing and enjoying the moment; she didn't feel a yearning or a heat between her legs, however, she didn't want to pull back either. Another part of her wanted this kiss, but it surprised her that her body wanted nothing more. _For now._ John pulled back momentarily, and she drew him to her again, her hands behind his neck keeping him greedily against her mouth. Her chest began to pound again, it hadn't since the last time, on that morning they'd had breakfast together and she'd thought she was sick with something. The pounding didn't disturb now, it simply reverberated across her whole body; she feared John would hear it, for it was so loud, it made her entire body ache with every rush of blood. But soon, she was out of breath and she had to pull away from John's more-than-enticing lips.

As soon as they pulled back, they'd felt the loss immediately. They stared at each other, bodies still pressed into each other, but never letting go. Gage gazed into John's eyes; grey into blue, like an intense wire could communicate her thoughts into his. She paid attention to the beating in his chest, the pounding echoed against hers and it was just as harsh, and constant as the one in hers. Gage's mind rang a million bells at that moment; she hastily pulled her arms away from John's neck, and he let her go. She blinked, looking away like a thief caught while he pick-pocketed and John followed suit.

He couldn't bring himself around what had precisely happened. One minute, they were bickering playfully, the next they were kissing feverishly, then the next, she was all distant, behind her counter, preparing dinner all the while, there was an elephant in the room.

"Are you okay?" he asked warily.

"Yeah and you?" she answered, faking a little smile.

"I'm good." He looked around in boredom, the living room was dimly lit and he wondered how big her house was. So far, he'd only seen her bedroom, the living room and the veranda.

"How many rooms do you have?"

"Hum…I'm not sure, four probably."

"Can I see your basement?" he grinned, and she looked up, her shoulders slumping down as she obviously relaxed.

"It's the third room on the right." She gestured with her knife in hand. John walked down the hallway, the white walls where all decorated in beautiful, modern paintings. He opened the door to her basement, and walked down the stairs. He flicked the lights on and his nostrils were instantly hit by the scent of fresh paint in the room. First, he saw a camera standing on a post in the corner of the room, then there were all these colours on the wall, the white was barely visible; blue, green, black, red and yellow, on the floor, there were droplets that had surely dried a long time ago then he turned to his left and saw a bed, a big white bed, with white sheets and pillows. There were no windows or other doors apart from the exit.

"Creepy I know."

"No, I think its very…very _you_. I love what you did on the walls."

"Thanks, I come here when I need inspiration. It's a replication of my room when I lived in Amsterdam."

"Didn't you have any furniture? A TV, a radio? A table?"

"No; just this." She smiled and he sighed.

"And the camera?"

"It belongs to Nicholas. I wanted to give it back to him, but he wouldn't let me." She said moving over to the bed. He noticed, the camera was angled towards the bed and his brows furrowed.

"Did he take picture of _you_ in your room?"

"Yes, mostly when I was asleep and then it didn't bother me anymore."

"Oh." He replied, rolling his eyes inwardly.

"I know you don't like Nicholas, but you have no reasons to. He's a good man; and a great artist."

"Did you ever-'

"No John, we never fucked!"

"He took pictures of you naked, he's interested in you, and you don't seem to mind. Excuse me if I find that slightly…unlikely."

"It's complicated. He _did_ see me naked, but it wasn't for sex, it's completely artistic, but don't force yourself to understand it."

"Fine. Will he be taking any more pictures of you? Nude?"

"Well…-'

"Oh fuck no…"

"You don't have a say into this. It's between Nicholas and me." She stood abruptly and walked passed him. He followed her out and closed the door. She was behind the counter again, her knife back in her hand.

"It's _my_ body John! I do whatever I want with it." She snapped.

"Right, but as long as there'll be _this_ going on, I can't let you take your clothes off for him." He said, pointing to the distance between them. Gage dropped her knife, and looked up, laughing sardonically.

"I wonder what in the living hell you'll do about it. Don't you forget something in the equation?"

"Don't talk about her now. She has nothing to do with this."

"Nicholas is my friend, and I'll take my clothes off for him as much as he pleases Johnny, there's nothing you'll do about it!" she snapped, glaring at him with a smirk in the corner of her mouth. She was right; he couldn't do anything about it, but he'd never permit Jaworski to ogle her behind his camera like he was Terry Richardson. No way it was going to happen. So he was only left with one option; make her agree, with or without her consent.

Gage continued to fix John to his position on the other end of the counter. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, then walked to the other side until he was standing in front of her. He looked down on her, with all his glory, his naked chest emphasized by the black pants he wore. If the gods of all that was sacred had constructed a status of the most beautiful men in the world, then sure, John would have had an entire museum to himself. She felt her knees stumble in the hotness of his gaze. He leaned down, putting his hands on either sides of the kitchen island, caging her.

"John, I know what you're trying to do, but I'm camping on my positions. It's _my_ body, not _yours_."

"You're right, it's yours. But for the sake of what we _share_…" he paused, his lower body coming nearer; his crotch so dangerously close to hers. "I thought I could have a say in this." He finished, bringing his hips forward, against hers, holding her sturdily to the cold marble. She looked into his piercing blue eyes, they were like a calm peaceful lake and it calmed the aches in her body every time she would dive into them. The good old pounding was at the_ Rendez-vous_ of course; playing drums in her chest; she tentatively reached and put her right hand on his chest, hoping to find a similar pounding and with relief, she found it.

Gage stared at his immense body, every muscle so precise and defined they seemed to have been drawn from a Da Vinci or a Botticelli. He was so perfect in so many ways, she now wondered what exactly had drawn the moth to her flame, because she was beautiful, but his beauty was not merely comparable to hers. John was a piece of art, a peccadillo that punished her for not being a good woman and a token of how imperfect and destructive she could be. She sighed, her chest rising, so she broke their stare and tried to turn back to her cooking, but John grabbed her waist and held her chin up.

"My Gigi."

"No John; Gage." She shook her head and he frowned.

"_My_…" he left small kisses in her neck, then he pushed down her robe to reveal the skin of her shoulders. "…_Gigi"_ he continued leisurely. Her skin burned underneath his soft kisses, and she shot her eyes closed to fight the sensation from propagating to other parts of her body. However, John continued, his fingers gently massaging her shoulder and pushing her robe further down so it fell to her waist where it was kept by the knot. He ran his hands across her back and cupped her breasts.

"John…"

"John…" she inhaled. "Stop; I'm exhausted, I can't go another round." She chuckled, but he didn't stop.

"If I can, then you can." He whispered in her ear. She froze, the pinch of authority in his voice was stern and austere, and yet it sounded so erotic.

"But may be if you plead…" he bit her earlobe and she winced, then he licked gently, calming the ache. _Who is this?_

"Over my dead body Johnny." She chuckled and she felt the corner of his lips pull up, like he expected her answer. John grabbed her thighs, and put her on top of the kitchen island, parting her thighs, he looked at her fixedly.

"Then a third round it is…"

"I didn't know you were such a ruthless lover Johnny." She faked a pout.

"I learned from the best." He grinned. He looked around the kitchen area, then the living room and turned back to her, a small smile on his face, like he'd just found the explanation for the Bermuda Triangle.

"What?" she asked, but he continued grinning and she felt her weight shift in his strong arms. He carried her out of the kitchen area and down the hallway. She crossed her arms behind his neck, he held her by the butt as he opened a door. It was the door to her basement; she looked at him, twisting her eyebrow at John. He led her down the stairs and put her down on the edge of the bed. He knelt in front of her, undoing the knot that kept her robe together and pulling it from beneath her. She wanted to protest when he pushed her down by her shoulders, to say no as he sucked on her collarbone, and her breasts, and down her hips, then her inner thighs, but she was either too tired to do so, or it was the burn wherever John's lips passed that silenced her immediately. This wasn't how things had to go; she wasn't supposed to be the one struggling to keep herself steady, or to supress the sex noises that escaped her throat.

"John…" she called when she felt his head between her legs, and his hand holding the back of her thigh. "John!" she propped on her elbows and tried to pull her leg out of his grip. He looked up at her in a "What again" way.

"I don't…do _that_." She said, feeling slightly ridiculous. One of his eyebrow rose.

"I'm not very keen on _that_." She pointed, trying as much as possible to make him understand what she meant. He was thoughtful for a moment, and then his face cleared and he seemed to get it.

"You didn't seem to mind earlier." He pushed. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Look, I've been…done that a few times, and it had the effect of a cold shower. I'm not very sensitive." She explained.

"We'll see." He pushed.

"John!"

"Gigi, when I touched you, you seemed perfectly _sensitive_ enough. You said we'd explore, let's get right to it."

"And I wasn't talking about me when I said that." She gasped. John came up and lay on the other side of the bed, supporting his weight on one elbow, he turned to her.

"Gage, you need to relax. I'm not the type of guy who shoves his dick in you then gets off without you enjoying a second of it. You said your pleasure was mine, then its reciprocal. We won't work if the pleasure is only one sided and all this would've been useless. Please don't make me regret what I'm doing; you're full of pride, and so am I, but let's not dwell on that for now. Not when _this_ is all that we can have. I need to know I'm not cheating on my wife and going against everything that I know for only a ten second orgasm." He smiled. "Say ten minutes?" he chuckled.

_Aneurysm._

"Touché Johnny." She sighed heavily and he smiled kindly. Was he sincere or was he just manipulating her for his own amusement? She couldn't tell while he lay so close to her. The smell of paint faded away next to him, and his scent enveloped them both. He'd had a great idea to bring them here; there were no windows or doors, just a bed; all they needed.

"You're so demanding John, I don't know if I'll be able to keep up." She confessed. He smiled again, and the pounding was back again, rumbling in her chest again. John was more than demanding; he was challenging, stressful, exhaustive and a pinch too controlling. Did Liz have to keep up with him this way too? Was he so hard to satisfy all the time? Did he demand all this from her too? Or was it the opposite? Or did he only demand this from her because he couldn't demand it from Liz? Liz was selfish, unskilled, immature and quite bratty from what she'd seen; what could've made a man like him to marry a woman like her?

Gage closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply. She was brought back to the now by John's mouth in the gap between her breasts, kissing and sucking gently. Her nipples elongated before he'd even touched them, then she felt a hot palm holding her thigh again, and then it was his fingers, on her throbbing nub. It was surprising that she could enjoy it, but also that it wasn't awkward of a sensation.

"Hmm…" she moaned and she felt his lips pull upwards again as they suckled on her nipples. He continued, and more moans followed, when it was tongue toying with her nub, she was dripping wet, drenched with the proof of her own yearning.

"Not sensitive huh?" he murmured and she giggled lightly.

Gage was a different type of woman, scratch that, Gage was another category only to herself. She was complicated, fierce, strong, and she'd just missed to take the right turn in her life. But above everything, she was a woman, with desires and fantasies, and right now especially, a very sentient woman and it was a major, monumental turn on to _turn her on_.

OOO

It was like therapy, only it was better and more pleasurable. Much more. And though she couldn't explain everything that was going on; hear, see, taste or smell; Gage could sense. Unmistakeably, John had the means to his politics, and yes, she would let him do that again if he wished. She gripped his dead tighter, when the pleasure had turned into uncontrollable rapture. As the ceiling spun before her eyes, and the sweat accumulated all over her, and slowly, but surely, she lost control, she smiled faintly; thanking the gods this special room was soundproof, because, all her screams, could probably wake the entire neighbourhood.

The feeling reminded her of something close to one of the highs she'd had back at home. God bless Amsterdam for legalizing marijuana. But this was past history now; dead, gone, and her souvenirs were only the vestiges of a young debauched girl who was fortunate enough to be talented at one thing in her life. But far, far away from all these memories, here she was, succumbing beneath the talented tongue of John; the man she'd been wanting for the past half-year. He was worth the wait, like no one else was; in this very moment, John was worth every minute, every secret she divulged, and every embarrassing second she'd lay eyes on him. He was worth it. Because, beyond physical pleasure, he brought something else to her, she couldn't quite put her hand on it, but it was cool, so long as he still wanted her. And if one day, he walked away, then it sure would've been one hell of a ride. One she wouldn't regret.

"John…"

She called him out of the haze, but she was taken aback by the colossal orgasm that hit her. Then everything went blank, her darkness had engulfed his shine and they now both danced in a sweet and silent eclipse. And so it ended.

"John."

"Yeah."

"I think you're an angel… or a demon…" she breathed, afterwards, pausing as she caught her breath. "You must be…" –inhale-" Baal, the commanding general of the infernal armies."

"Or you are…Appollyon, The Destroyer." She chuckled then paused. "And you came here to teach me a lesson and then reduce me to a mass of ash."

John chuckled slightly, looking for any indication of reason on her face.

"John…" she said, humming it like a song, still looking into the ceiling. "No, you're not a demon, you're one of the twelve Apostles."

He knew his parents had given him a Biblical name, but shame on him to have never found out the meaning of it. He sat, where Gage's head lay, and placed it on his lap.

"And who is John in the Bible?" he asked, pulling some sheets to cover her nakedness.

"John…" she repeated this time thoughtfully. "He's the youngest of the twelve Apostles, and the only one present when the Christ was crucified. When Jesus ascended, he asked John to take care of the Church and when he died on the cross, he asked John to take care of Mary, his _mother_."

"And did he?" he asked, and she nodded on his lap.

"He protected her until she died and was buried." She replied calmly.

"Do you Believe Gage?"

"Sometimes more than others. But I doubt there is a place such as hell, where your tortured soul burns forever."

"And Paradise?"

"I never thought about it. I could never think of a reason why I'd go to heaven. No. Hell, definitely." She chuckled. "So, send me an e-mail to tell me what I'm missing when you're there Johnny."

"And what makes you think I'd go to Heaven?" he grinned, and she looked up from his lap. The darkness of the room couldn't hide the sinister glimmer of grey in her beautiful eyes.

"You're a good man Johnny. If I know it, then God certainly will." The corners of her mouth rose for a second, and then dropped again.

OOO

"Thank you Johnny, and don't forget to do as I say." Gage pointed with her finger.

"You wrote me a _pense-bète_, how can I?" he waved the little yellow paper in his hands. And read through it.

_Call Liz._

_Take Liz Dinner._

_Deliver flowers for Liz._

_Make love to Liz._

"Don't look at me like you don't need it. Do as I say, and we won't be in trouble by the end of it." Gage added. "Did you tell anyone about us?"

"Nope." He replied, his lips emphasizing the P and Gage furrowed her eyebrows at him.

"Randy huh?" she asked.

"Look, I didn't-'

"Oh misery." She sighed, putting her hand on her forehead.

"He kind of…guessed it but I know a few secrets of his that he wouldn't like Sam to know, so we're even. It's cool."

"Cool, you say?" she asked and he nodded.

"Okay. I trust you on that if you mean it." She waved her hand at him but he caught it in his.

"You, _trust_ me?" he grinned, pulling her to him.

"I won't say it again Johnny." She shook her head. "You've had your pound of _my_ flesh for another decade. Good night."

"You're a ruthless negotiator Miss Jansen." He murmured into her ear.

"I learned from the best." She grinned, mimicking his words from earlier and they stared at each other. A comfortable current coursing through the living room, like a fire, soothing the abominable snow outside. They exchanged a not-so-chaste kiss and both pulled away from each other and with these few words, John walked out the door, carrying with him, a little piece of her.

"Goodnight Johnny."

"Goodnight my Gigi." He winked.


	19. Chapter 19

"Would you like some pie Johnny?" John cringed to the sound of the sobriquet. He hated to be called Johnny._ Except…_

"No thanks, I've had a piece already. It's delicious." He lied. Of course it wasn't, Liz's sister, Amy had much less talent for cooking than Liz did. It seemed the women of the Crane family had missed a gene for that.

"So John how's work?" Amy asked.

"Good thanks and you? The Agency?"

"Great actually. I heard you two lovebirds were in LA for a party?"

"It was only a kick-'

"We stayed at the Beverly Hills Hotel Amy! John and I had the Presidential Bungalows; not that it surprises me. But did you know President Johnson had lodged there?" Liz intercepted.

"I thought he'd said it was the Senator?" John pushed and she blanked for a second.

"Senator…President. Did you Amy tell you about the new recruits for this season?" Liz replied.

"Oh I forgot! Liz was of great help at the audition the other day. It seems she has an eye for the finest things."

"Well; look at _us_!"

Liz laughed cheerfully with her sister, waving her wedding ring at the right moments and holding her hand out when a small bevy of bees gathered around her like they were ready to suck the honey off her feet. John felt slightly unease and unwelcome; it was part of spending time at home. Liz always wanted to visit friends or organise little barbecues; as if everyone hadn't noticed she had the biggest house of the entire street already.

"Ladies; if you'll excuse me a minute." He interrupted the noisy chatting. He walked over the Liz, a left a small peck on the side of her jaw. "I'll be right back. Loo." He murmured before he left the little crowd, in which several murmurs and appreciative whispers erupted, and then it was giggling. He searched for the closest lone spot of the house of Amy and James; and opted for the porch on the back door, near the small yard.

The sun had begun to set, and away from the giggling and the laughter, John began to think clearly again. The first thing that came to his mind was Gage.

"Gage…" he whispered her name as quietly as possible, for fear that, like a demon, she would appear. The sound was carried in the wind that whirled around him. Only flashes of the night they'd spend were clear in his head; it was like he couldn't bring himself to imagine she was real. But he remembered; the scent all over his body as he got home, the memories her suave mouth had left to his skin, the long and languid kisses they'd shared…John put his hands over his head, as a chill ran down his spine, dragging it to the back of his head and exhaled.

"You're in deep…deep shit John…"

The next day, he'd wanted to see her again or at least call her, but male pride obliged that he wanted her to call him first. He wanted her to tell him she'd had a great time, and that she wanted him _again_… So it was with a lot of bitterness that the day had gone by, and Gage hadn't sent a single text or even left a message. He'd spent the day with Liz, mainly taking her to the places she loved so much; the pretty French Café downtown, shopping at Ann Taylor, and dinner at McCormick and Schmick's; her favourite Sea Food restaurant. He'd been in purgatory the whole time; he thought Liz would be distant; sniffing in the air the remains of his nightcap with Gage, that she would be gifted with that natural ability women had to dig; but nothing, niet, nada. _Rien._ Somewhere, deep down, he regretted she was so…so…-Let's face it- Liz was quite obtuse. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he took it out.

_06: 21 p.m._

_**(Shopping for new lingerie with Sam; Amen. Did you do the HW?"**_

He sighed, it was only Randy and as for HW? He remained thoughtful for a second before remembering their conversation about Gage and how he'd said she was a Home Wrecker. He texted him back.

_06: 24 p.m._

_**(Say Hi to Sam for me. Yes I did the HW it was great.)**_

_06: 25 p.m._

_**(How great? Just to know what I missed and I still can't believe it.)**_

_06: 29 p.m._

_**(I'm not giving you details. GOBSMACKING comes close to it. I get what all the fuss is about.)**_

_06: 31 p.m._

_**(Little man has gotten big now XD. Welcome.)**_

OOO

"…Miss Jansen you are implacable, but I am too and my flagrant attraction to…obliges me to insist. No pun intended."

"Nicholas, how many times do I have to tell you this?"

"As many as you want as long as you say yes."

"I am not free tonight!" she snapped as she chuckled.

"You are hurting the feelings of a gentleman Gage. I am deceived."

"I know, but the Gentleman will have to make it to that dinner without me, plus why don't you ask Céline? She would be glad."

"Céline does not have your refinement Gage, you know that."

"But she is beautiful and her company is pleasant enough to replace mine." She said and he rolled his eyes.

"Only after the third glass of wine." He scoffed.

"Take _her_ to this dinner Nick, _she_ is your muse not me, you already took me yesterday night."

"And it was a _very_ lovely evening with you." He took her hand and with his thumb, he caressed her knuckles. It was a beautiful and sunny day in Land O' Lakes, and Gage had invited Nicholas for tea. They sat on her veranda, in the wood swing she had installed in her garden. Nicholas was as charming as charming could get as always; he'd brought flowers and was dressed in an all white ensemble; a white linen loose shirt, and white pants, his unruly blond hair all over the place, following the soft wind like a field of wheat.

John hadn't called since they'd seen each other two days ago, nor had he sent a message. It was slightly disturbing, and she'd dialled his number a few times, but then turned down the calls before it could ring. Obviously, he'd been following her advice because; he and Liz were rarely home for the time he was home. His break ended in three days and soon, he'd have to get back to work. Gage wondered if he'd already had enough of her, if the little dirty secrets had rendered her…repulsive. If it was the case then, it was her first and last confession ever.

"Anything on your mind?" Nicholas asked, taking a sip of his tea.

"Nothing of great importance." She shrugged. He studied her for a while before releasing her hand and inching closer to her on the wooden bench.

"The little vein next to your temple tells me the opposite." He whispered, touching her temple lightly. Gage took his hand away from her forehead and put it on his lap and he looked down at their intertwined hands.

"Gage, I-'

"No, please, don't." she objected. "We're having a good time Nicholas, I like being with you and you do too. Please don't ruin it with _those_ words."

"Ruin it? Is confessing you what I feel such a shame you don't even want to hear it?" his eyes widened slightly and he recoiled, casting his head down trying not to look at her anymore.

"Nicholas, I don't…" she sighed. "You deserve more than this, you deserve someone who will make you happy, settle down, have children. You're a wonderful man-'

"_You_ could be that person Gage." He said quietly, still not looking at her, his hands balled on his lap, like he boiled with silent fury.

"No, I wouldn't be, we've talked about this already…"

"No we haven't Gage. I think I-…I've…Gage…you…" he stood abruptly, dragging his hands slowly in his hair and looked down at her.

"Gage…" he came in front of her and knelt at her feet. Gage constricted into her seat, looking down at his contrite form.

"Gage, I…"

Before Nicholas could proceed with his speech, the noise of a throat clearing interrupted them and both faces turned to the door that led to the veranda. Pupils dilated for a fraction of a second, Gage's fingers became cold all of a sudden, but inside, her body lit on fire.

"John!" she said. His eyes looked up from hers to Nicholas, then back again, then his eyebrows furrowed and…Oh no…his jaw was twitching. Gage grimaced inside; this was not going to end well for _her_ at all.

"I am sorry to bother you, but…Liz err sent me here. She said you would know."

"Oh yes! The hum…the cake." She said calmly sitting upright. Nicholas stood back up and straightened his shirt, gave a brief nod in John's direction, which was obviously royally ignored then he sat back in the wooden chair.

"Excuse me Nicholas, I won't be long."

Gage walked passed John into the kitchen area, all his anger radiating in the air that surrounded him. She bit her lip nervously, trying to anticipate the wrath that was about to drain down on her with as much power as Katrina in New Orleans. John followed her into the kitchen area, and the simple sound of the door closing almost made her jump as she walked ahead. John eyed her with baby blue eyes; usually the sweet calm lake that soothed her tortured soul, but now they were shimmering with glacial blue irritation.

"John, it's not what you think." She sighed.

"Well it looked like it."

"Nicholas is just-'

"Cut it out Gage." He shut. _Back to Gage again; not his "Gigi" anymore._

"I am happy to see you." She replied, smiling tauntingly.

"Don't do that." He replied and her smile dropped.

"Do what?"

"Smile at me and think I'll smile back ignoring the fucker who's outside!"

"John, we were discussing and things only got out of hand. Nicholas can be overbearing and you know it."

"He was _kneeling_, holding your hands, playing _Abelard_ to you and sweet talking you! What kind of friend does that?"

"John, don't magnify this." She sighed.

"Gage, you either tell him to leave you alone or-' he paused, his hand massaging the back of his neck. Or what? Would he ask her to choose between him and Nicholas? Call off their 'relationship' if they ever even had any?

"You tell him to leave you alone or I'll do it."

"Don't be silly, that wouldn't be very discrete of you, we don't need anymore publicity; not after what'd happened in the parking lot."

"Then may be you should stop leading him on!"

"I'm _not_. Forgive me for trying to keep the only friendly relationship I have ever had." She snapped back and rolled his eyes to the sky in annoyance. He walked closer to her, too close and looked down at her.

"It's clear he doesn't want to be just a friend to you."

"He'll try." She replied and he rolled his eyes at her again. She disliked it very much.

"Look; you might've had a lot of experience with men Gage, but he has _feelings_ for you, it's different. He won't back down unless you tell him to."

"John, I can't do that. He's the only person who knows me. I've done him enough hurt already; and depriving him of my company and mine of his is only more than I can bear." Gage to fidget with the ends of her hair, untangling the ends with fascination.

"…I could know you, be your friend too but you just won't let me. I need to talk you out with…"

"With…" she teased.

"You know…it's not the matter now, I want you to get rid of him; _now_." He said sternly.

"John, you can't be my friend. We've already defined the terms of our relationship and peership is not an option. We've gone way above the strict minimum, friendship is the red line."

"Why?"

"Because, you're married!" she snapped. She's never said it out loud, fearing it might not be real.

"You're married, and I'm only a distraction, a woman you can come to when you want to let off steam, to relax. With me you don't need flowers, or nice words, or gifts, I'm yours for free and that stops it there. We can't be friends."

"I see. So when I'm on the road I can sleep with anyone else if I feel like it?"

The question hit her like a knife in her back; she blinked and her heart rate sped, but she exhaled slowly and wore a mask of concentration.

"If you wish." She exhaled.

"And does it give you the right to sleep with anyone when I'm not there?"

"You mean if it works both ways?" she asked and he nodded.

"Depends on you. My other lovers were not very strict on exclusivity, but I like to keep my board clean, but sometimes eventually…"

"Jesus Christ Gage! Do you hear yourself?"

"Simply speaking from experience."

"Fine, do as you please."

"You mean _who_ I please." She chuckled and his mouth pressed tightly.

"That was not funny and you should've mentioned that in the little lines…at least I'd know what I got myself into." He sighed turning away.

"John…" she called but he did not reply. Gage did not want to be exclusive, but she could claim with certainty that she wanted no other man than John. "John, I'm not having sex with anyone else, and I won't in your absence either." She confessed.

"Why not?" he snorted, he had his back to her and leaned down, his two hands firmly on the marble of the kitchen island.

"Simply because…" she walked up to behind him and put her hands on his back, moving them upwards slowly. "You're the only man that I _desire_ Johnny."

She felt the goose bumps on his skin through his t-shirt, she felt the heat growing along his neck and shoulders, the way his breath accelerated, and she smiled. "And as long as you'll desire me too, I'll be plainly satisfied…" she paused "Well…if you still do desire me…" She whispered sweetly. John turned and grabbed her wrists, spinning them both so she was now against the counter. It was the John Cena magic; he was challenging and radical, tender and sweet at the same time. He was a rollercoaster of emotions, the good and the bad, where heaven and hell caved in; the intermediate. He leaned down, very hesitantly at first, lightly rubbing the tip of his nose against hers, then he wet his lips with his tongue and pressed them to hers.

"I shouldn't believe you."

This is what he'd been craving, what'd been digging him these last days. He missed cold fingers clutching onto his waist, white porcelain skin, and red silky hair between his fingers. Who was this woman and what had she done to him? What had she done for such a magnetism to operate? To completely seduce and hypnotize him like no one ever had before, to corrupt his mind and his body…

"N'ver…leav' 'gain Johnny…" she whispered inaudibly for the short while she pulled back. John's lip had barely been taken away from her mouth that she'd pulled him back down to her again. The words had barely had the time to sink into his head; Gage kissed him viciously, her tongue clashing with his, and her teeth grinding around his lower lip. This was the real Gage, the one she wanted everyone to see; powerful, fearless, domineering and erotic. He could see her then, but other times, all he saw was a woman; lost and unhappy, who as far as it went, tried to find something to hold onto.

"Gage…" he pulled away slowly, but she captured his lips again.

"Gage!" he whispered "Don't you ever breath?" he chuckled. She smiled, recalling she'd told him the same thing a few months ago, in the prime years of their relationship.

"I could care less about air right now." She replied sweetly. He smiled in return. John's hand crawled up her back, untangling the ends of her hair and he leaned down again.

"No; please." She put her index on his lips. "Or I won't stop, and Liz wants her cake."

"_And_ Jaworski is outside." He added and she nodded but John won't let her go.

"But I could be quick." He grinned maliciously. Gage looked up at him, and took her lower lip between her teeth; her conscience struggling.

"Don't tempt me Johnny." She said firmly and he stared through her._ Oh, he's serious_ she thought but a little voice inside, the voice of reason surely persuaded her not to accept. After all, he'd been neglecting her for a few days; why would she give him such satisfaction.

_A minute; that was specifically the point of their deal, no excuses, no promises, no commitment or BS of that type._

"John…" she chuckled and shook her head.

"It's been days Gigi, haven't you missed me?" he nuzzled her ear with his nose. The message travelled and was delivered with efficiency, in those dark places screaming "Johnny Johnny! Come get me! Get me!"

"I've missed y-you Johnny." She closed her eyes and enjoyed the soft caress. "A lot." She hissed.

"Damn the cake."

"Damn Nicholas." She hissed through clenched teeth, and John smiled. "Fast."

"Yes Ma'am."

_**°OOO°**_

"Liz, you and John absolutely _have_ to come to Anny's Barbecue on Sunday. I heard from Judith she'll be putting the small plates in the big ones."

"I'm not sure Brenda, John doesn't like Anny very much."

"The question is; who does John _do_ get along with, my husband wanted to take him golfing, and it seems John thinks it's for 'the good ol' pompous beautiful people.'" She said with stern in her voice.

"Hum…I'm sure he meant no harm, John is more of a fishing man."

"Lee was very vexed and remained in a terrible of a mood, thanks to John's brash mouth. You need to teach your man a thing or two about manners in society." Brenda scoffed sipping her tea. Brenda was another one of Liz's neighbours, but she lived further down the street, two blocks away from Anny's house. Brenda McAllister, was married to Lee McAllister, he worked as a Chief Custom officer at the Port; he and Brenda had moved in Land O'Lakes about two years before Liz and John had. Like the tradition in America requires, Land O'Lakes had an elite of hip housewives who gossiped about anything, and Brenda, was the Chief executive of all, a harpy, a serpent always ready to spill her venom.

"Have you planned anything for Thanksgiving yet?" Brenda asked.

"Hum, no. John's schedule is tight. You know he travels a lot and-'

"You mean he is not celebrating Thanksgiving at home?" she said with astonishment. Her hands began to fidget with the set of white pearls around her neck.

"It's a possibility, but his job is very difficult. He tries his be-'

"It's not the point, everyone's job is difficult. Look at Lee, he stays at work until ten, but every Saturday night, he takes me out and on Sundays we take out the Yacht; the coast is beautiful at this time of the year. You should require that too from John." She smiled.

"May be I should." Liz replied pettishly.

"May be? Because you think you shouldn't? Listen Elizabeth, honey, it is his duty to make you happy."

"But I don't want to ask too much from him."

"It's never too much; the only way a man can show you he loves you is by spending as much as he can." Brenda replied, leaning against the table and taking Liz's hand.

"Don't misunderstand me; I'm only telling you how men think."

"Okay, I think you're right."

Brenda smiled. "Of course I am. Where is John by the way?"

"I-I well…I lend a few things to our neighbour, and hum…I asked John to go get them for me." She said in a scattered tone.

"Gage is that it?" Brenda's eyebrow shut up.

"Yes that's her."

"I heard from Anny some…_not_ so good things about her. Have you met her in person?"

"Oh yes, as a matter of fact, me and John went to her exhibition last week, she's an artist; a talented one, but she lacks in civility. She's a loner."

"No surprise. What do you know about her?"

"She's from Netherlands, she moved six or so months ago, and as far as I know, she knows very little people here. But she has _friends_ of every sort once in a while, if you know what I mean." She chuckled, sitting upright, her fingers around her teacup. Brenda looked up questioningly.

"Cops, and surely some other felons. I don't even count them." She replied snobbishly.

"_Chic_." Brenda snorted with sarcasm, looking through the window in the kitchen to look at Gage's house across the street. "There should be more Ladies like us Elizabeth." She said and they clinked cups.

"John is taking his time."

_**°OOO°**_

It was always a surprise how strong John was, but taking a closer look at things, it really wasn't. He held her solidly, both hands on her thighs, to the kitchen island, dripping with sweat and pounding into her. There was nothing sentimental, or tender to it, nothing at all. It was raw, hard and fast.

Gage choked back moans, and tried the least possible noises with her whimpers, half releasing them and half supressing them into John's neck. He, made the smallest groans, mostly strangled little breaths and occasionally a few words of encouragement through clenched teeth. Again, there was the terrible agony of touching; not being able to keep her hands on him, tightening around his muscles without scraping them. But it was as good as it could get, and this primal, carnal way of having sex; fucking, Gage had missed it and was now re-discovering the essence of short-lived sex.

"John!" she cried lowly, he thrusting into her with tough conviction, and the friction of his hips, parting her thighs, made her muscles flex more than they could usually support. But it was too good to be interrupted or delayed.

"John…Jesus!" she whimpered into his chest. Gage clutched onto his shoulders.

"John…"

The orgasm was mounting, little by little it gathered in her, but it announced itself like a tornado, and she was afraid she wouldn't be able to contain it. John slowed down, adopting a more intense but dimmer rhythm.

"Stop, I can't take this now."

"I'm sure you can Gigi." He said in her ear. His hands went down her thighs, and he held by the ass. He resumed his fast pace and hard pounding.

"No…-' she cried. Her head began spinning as John crushed himself into her. The seconds seemed to drag endlessly, and yet with every heartless thrust, her rhapsody rocketed to the sky and she was inching away from coming. John grabbed her by the base of her neck and cupped her face, never stopping the punishment.

"I want you to…" he paused. "…Say my name Gigi. Scream it!"

Gage closed her mouth to swallow momentarily; her eyes widened into John's.

"John…" she closed her eyes and wet her lips. He cupper her face and leaned down, so their faces came right in front of each other, his hot breath engulfing hers.

"Louder! Let him know…" he adjusted his position and by some miracle, sank even deeper into her cunt.

"…That _you're mine_!"

_**°OOO°**_

"What is John doing? It's already been fifteen minutes." Liz inquired looking down at the expensive Swatch on her left wrist. She bent over the sink and pushed the curtain to look over at Gage's house, her window were always shut and there was a thick white curtain preventing any sort of view into the house. Liz removed her apron and went for the door.

_**°OOO°**_

"_John!"_

As if rejection was not severe enough of a punishment, now he had to be subjected to this. Gross humiliation to his masculinity and his poise. Nicholas put his both hands over his ears, because ignoring the pain could not make it go away. What he'd give for her to let him to touch her in that way she let him, or even kiss her lips. No; he was not worth that much; his mere presence even went…_unnoticed_.

_**°OOO°**_


	20. Chapter 20

That afternoon, Gage remembered doubting; perhaps there _was_ a God; an almighty, and omnipresent God. She almost died, but not in the literal sense of it, she almost died of pleasure, in John's arms, clutching to his body with her arms crossed behind his neck and her legs crossed in his back. In the midst of their rapture; the hot and hasty breaths, the sweat that pearled down their chests, the pleasure milking away their energy, they forgot everything around. They were sexual creatures, bone and flesh; sensation**. **

"You…son of a bitch…" Gage murmured as they collapsed to the ground. John chuckled as he knelt between her legs, and adjusted his pants.

"Don't thank me…"

He smiled; proud of his accomplishments, and fixed his pants back on, standing upright. He helped Gage up and pulled her dress down, and fixed the sleeve that hung loosely down her shoulder. She avoided his gaze discretely for, after abandoning herself to him with such loose caginess, she felt stupid and neglectful.

"John you need to-'

"I know, I shouldn't have." He interjected. "But, did you like it?" he smirked.

"It's not matter." She rolled her eyes.

"I know you did." He moved to sit on one of the chairs next to the barstool. "I have evidences, _all over_…me to prove it."

"Don't be too proud of yourself, you might have to pay for your impudence."

"Oh Gage." He shook his head, smiling. "I wish nothing more."

Gage couldn't help but smile, deep down within her dark soul; she was amused by his boldness and wanted nothing to discourage John's sudden forwardness. She looked up at him, and then him at her, until they were interrupted by the sound of a door, suddenly opening. Liz clumsily bolted into the living at the far end of the house. She heard John's breathing slow down hesitantly, and her fingers, turned cold around the edge of the kitchen island.

The silence weighted between the three of them as Liz moved forward, looking around, like she'd been suspecting anything to be happening. She had all rights to do so; if she'd entered a few minutes before, she would've found them having depraved sex on the counter. Gage cocked her head to the side, and spoke loudly; with all the poise she could fake, to hide the ambivalence.

"It seems all my neighbours have a problem with the door bell!" she giggled, her eyes boring into Liz's. The latter, looked from John back to her, then back again, her eyes cast down and her eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm so-sorry; I just-'

"Don't be sorry dear, I was just about to send John back at you with the present for your sister but." Gage paused, as she fidgeted with something on the counter. Liz extended her neck to take a closer look.

"I was adding the final touches to it. I couldn't live out these fresh cherries. It wouldn't be a cake without the cherries!" She smiled delicately, in that way the women around here did. She cut the small fruits in halves and put them around the creamy edge of the cake.

"Ow. Of course!" Liz sighed.

Gage noticed the relief in her smile and the slow exultation from the poor blond thing. Liz turned around and walked to John and murmur something in his ear. Gage looked up carefully at the couple and saw a small smile creeping up to his lips. She fixed every half of cherry with slow precision and occasionally paid attention to the couple. Once, she looked up and saw John smiling awkwardly. It was a dimple-less, wry smile, extending to his ears and pushing the corners of his eyes to form small wrinkles. She smirked inwardly. Liz, obtuse as she was, did not notice John's smile was devoid of expression; he smiled only to contempt her. But she couldn't blame Liz; to be able to know if a smile is fake, one should've seen a real smile first.

"Done." She said silently.

"Thank you so much!" she squealed, obviously in a happier mood.

"Now let's hope your sister likes it."

"I can never repay you Gage!" she smiled. Liz walked up to her and took her wrists, pulling Gage into an embrace. Her eyes widened, in shock and a mixture of other emotions, the most prominent being repulsion. She looked up at John, the one shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Simple…amicable gesture, we do that with our neighbours." She said, pulling out of her grip. Liz pulled back but held her at arm's length.

"Thank you so much, Anny is throwing a barbecue this Friday, I wanted to let you know, you're the most welcome and-"

Liz's eyes fixed her neck suddenly, and Gage looked down.

"You have a…" she mimicked touching the spot on her own neck. Gage turned to a mirror and noticed the reddened spot on her collarbone. It was round and red; the very recent proof of that someone had been there, with untamed passion and zeal.

"John have you seen it?" she frowned deeply.

"Haven't paid attention." He shrugged turning away; he began to chew the inner part of his lower lip. Another door opened and distracted all three from Gage's neck. Nicholas stood there, his expression beaten and his hands into balls, eyebrows creased and teeth clenched, his usually calm countenance disturbed by apparent anger obstructing one from perceiving any sense of beauty from his features. Not Liz apparently; she let go of her arms and turned her eyes to Nicholas.

"And that is…" she murmured to Gage, without turning to look at her.

"Nicholas Jaworski, professional photograph and…a very good _friend_." She paused. "My best friend." Nicholas gave her an aggravated look as he seemed to perceive the last words and walked up to the trio.

"Miss…"

"Elizabeth, Liz for friends." She smiled, as Nicholas took her hand in his two, and brought it up to his lips. Liz blushed slightly, and tucked some hair behind her ear timidly.

"Nice to meet you Elizabeth." He said, putting his hand over hers.

"Likewise Mr Jaworski."

"Liz is John's _wife_ and Liz sought my help for a service." Gage pushed, her voice got louder with stern as she emphasized the words 'wife'. Nicholas seemed to get the message, and let go of Liz's hand. Gage put the cake in a small bakery box and handed it to Liz before she bid the couple good bye and was left with Nicholas in her living room.

"She looks _nice_." He said, walking to the couch.

"Who?"

"Elizabeth."

"She's okay." She replied dryly. Nicholas patted the space on the couch next to him. Gage accepted to space he offered and he turned to face her fully, putting his arm on the back of the couch.

"She'd be destroyed if she knew."

"She won't have that chance. We're careful."

"No shit." He scoffed, blowing air through his lips.

"Look, am sorry if you heard." She put her hand on his lap, on top of his. Nicholas remained silent and did not move, though he seemed to relax more.

"I can't let you do this Gage. He's a public figure, imagine the scandal!" he stood abruptly.

"There won't be any scandal Nicholas. I've got this, he's nothing different than the others."

"They were accountants, doctors and bankers, not fucking national celebrities! Do you have an idea who John Cena is? Do you have a clue what you could risk?"

"I could care less about all that."

"Could you care less if someone ever happened to know?"

"What? Threatening letters? Car chases? Get a grip Jaworski! I know what I'm doing."

"Take my words as advice Gage."

"Lest?"

"Bad things will come out of this liaison you have with John." He hissed, sitting back down on the couch.

"Nothing will come out of this. It'll be over as fast as I can say Jaworski, there'll be no scandal, and Liz will never know." Gage folded her arms behind her head and crossed her legs on the coffee table.

"And you?"

"What me?"

"You'll keep living here, seeing him everyday across the street and act like you loath the ground on which he's walked on?"

Gage's eyes wandered from left to right. "Exactly."

"You amaze me." He shook his head.

"Thanks." She grinned.

"I didn't mean in the right sense of it." He interjected. "I think I should go now."

"Must you?" she sighed.

"I don't see any reasons to stay here Gage, you've clearly made a unanimous vote. It's John, I get it."

"Nick." She sighed standing up. "I haven't _chosen_ John over you at all. Nicholas, you mean a lot to me, don't you understand?"

"Clearly I don't. You want no commitment, I understand, and I'm ready to accept that, I'll have you anyway I can get you Gage! Don't you see? If you need a friend, I'll be all the Joe and Ross you need, if you want a lover, I'll please your body in every way it can be pleased. All I want is you and nothing else; your mind, your company, your wittiness and your humour. No woman equals you in my eyes; in beauty, talent and personality; ever-" he paused and his gaze dropped from the sustaining grip it had on hers to the floor.

"It's better I leave before I hit the 36th floor." Nicholas took his wallet and put his phone in his pockets before he grabbed his car keys.

"I'll be a deplorable partner, a deceitful lover, and I will take you for granted, exercise you to great exasperation, make you bitter and resentful with time. I will make you regret every memory; make you wish you'd never said a kind word to me. I will make you miserable; you'll be a shipwreck. You will be devoid of feelings and if one day, you succeed to escape this relationship, no sooner will you find someone else that you will take your revenge on them and hurt them, just as I did you. Is that what you want for yourself Jaworski?- Don't answer! That's not what _I_ want for you. I am not _that_ cruel."

He stood there, aloof, and appalled without saying a word until Gage sighed and smiled up brightly.

"You can stay here for the night, we can watch movies, and I have a bottle of IMPERIA "she smiled "And you could take pictures while I paint."

"Some other day may be." He said, taking her hands as they walked outside. He looked down at her; his bright blue eyes were filled with sadness beyond what words can express, yet he did not let a tear glow in his orbs. He nodded lightly and Gage lips pulled a little upwards.

"Good."

Gage opened the door for him and he walked out.

"Bye Jaworski."

"Bye Gage."

The sun was still standing high in the sky and it radiated onto him as he walked out; there was no breeze and the air was hot, yet a chill ran down her spine at the sight. The sun radiated brightly down onto Nicholas's white linen shirt and his matching pants and his tousled blond hair shone like fine beach sand, and for a second, she remembered thinking this was the closest image of angels, if ever there had existed any. It was a dreadful second during which she stood on the porch in the presence of the angel, this angel did not wear a long white robe nor did it have a halo levitating on top of his head, not even wings in his back. Was this a sign? Was she making a mistake? It felt as if, suddenly something imminent; a catastrophe or a disaster, was preparing before her eyes and the decision she was making would decide for a lot more than what matters now. For the second time that day she doubted and even sought for God's help, begging for more clarity. Finally, the wind blew and a mass of large grey clouds gathered and covered the blue sky and the sun with it. The vision of the angel disappeared.

"Gage!" he snapped.

"Yes!"

"Are you alright? You look pale, nearly blue. Did you hear what I said?" he asked and she shook her head and he examined her for a second, and then chuckled.

"You would've make a joke of me till the end Gage Jansen." He laughed. "Never mind."

"I'm so-"

"Don't apologize. Please. " he lifted his hand gently. "After all you did just save me from eternal lamentation and heartbreak." He chuckled and she smiled.

"One more thing though." He moved closer and cupped her face. He studied her face for a moment and left the most delicate kiss on her lips. Gage did not battle for this, for she knew what this meant; Nicholas was retreating. The gentle kiss he left on her lips was his salute, his bow to the audience, the last Psalm before the Pastor dismissed the congregation.

"It's better than I could have thought." He frowned as he separated his lips from hers. He released her and walked down the stairs and went for his car. As he got in, he winked and blew a kiss to her with his hand.

As she got back into her house, Gage did not turn back, and therefore did not notice that bright blue eyes, brighter than Nicholas's had been observing from the kitchen window the entire scene since the couple had not had the decency to keep their hearty embrace behind doors. She did not feel the renewed wrath of a man who was determined to make her his, or at least claim her body…

…By any mean necessary.

_**O°°O**_

"Well well! Looks like Gage has got another arrow to her ark!" Liz pointed as she leaned up from over the sink.

"Weren't you told not to eavesdrop on people Lizzie? I thought you didn't like her." he said as he approached the window, where she stood. From their point, they had a perfect view of the scene; Jaworski standing over her, his hands on her neck. His lips on hers.

_Bitch._

"I _don't_! But she doesn't know that. Seriously, did you see the furnishing in her living room? So vintage! Who still has china teacups, or a clock with a pendulum? Can't imagine the nuisance at night!"

"It's not any of our business." He snapped, shutting the windows and regaining the room upstairs.

"John!" Liz called, but John did not turn and went for the stairs. As he reached their bedroom he soon heard her steps following his.

"Can you tell me what is wrong with you? You're defending her now?"

"I'm not defending Gage but may be if you weren't so wrapped around your navel all day, every day! You'd notice that she is not stupid enough to think that you actually _like_ her!"

"And _how_ would you know that? Do you like _her_? Ever since she's moved here, it's all been about _her_! Gage here! Gage there! Everyone around here talks about her, while she won't even give a damn!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about he fact that _everyone_ cares to know who the hell that chick is, where she comes from when she doesn't deserve it! And I'm fed up!"

"May be if you weren't all up in people's faces all the time, they'd care to know!"

"I'm not and these "people" you are my friends!"

"You call that _friends_?"

"At least _they're_ here for me when I need them! They don't go around the country, all year round!" she snapped, and her voice broke down in a sob and he sighed.

"Liz."

"No!" she squealed and her cheeks reddened and she broke down.

"Lizzie." He sighed again, bringing her to him. She did not fight him back and simply let him hold her until she'd finished sobbing.

"I'm sorry." He muttered in her hair. "I'm sorry baby. I'll try my best to be there more often."

"Hmm."

John laid her on the bed and held her in his arms until she'd stopped shaking and crying. He should've felt remorseful for seeing her tears flow this way; he had been sometime ago. But now, the vision of Liz; her heated cheeks and bloodshot eyes did not wake a single emotion of pity or any other emotion at all. While she lay in his arms, he cursed himself mentally; for having the image of Gage in his mind. He had to find a way to make her pay. The sight of her and Jaworski had triggered and anger too intense, too vicious to be suppressed and as a result, he'd had a fight with Liz. She had to pay.

To take revenge on kind hearted, a caring person was easy, but what was there to do to someone like Gage? Who did she love other than herself? You can shed the leaves of a tree, but what do you do to the unmovable rock beneath?

_**O°°O**_

_Two days later; at Anny's._

"Can I have your attention please?" Anny could to attention as she hit her glass with a little spoon. The severe and improper gesture however captured the attention it desired and everyone turned in her direction.

"First, I'd like to thank all of you for coming. It's always a pleasure to have the opportunity to gather you all around a good barbecue. I know some of you don't always have the time- _John_, _Lee_-" she paused raising her glass in their direction. John nodded silently while Lee McAllister offered Anny a small smile.

"…But let's make a toast to-"

"Right on time!"

All eyes turned in the direction of Anny, but they were not fixed on her. They were on the woman who'd just walked in by the sliding glass doors.

"Gage! What a surprise, I didn't think you'd come."

"With Liz's word, plus, I brought dessert." She smiled and magically made a huge platter where was seated what looked like a chocolate cake. John smiled in the corner of his mouth; so typically her.

"Is that the Gage?" asked the man besides him.

"That's her." John said taking a sip of his soda and the man chuckled.

"I see." He replied with a tone that could suggest further thinking.

John directed his attention back to the ladies up front. Since Gage's entrance, the whispers had gotten louder and the vicious looks were fusing in the air. Gage wore a black bralet top, with a sweetheart neckline, and a black pair of skinny jeans. Her hair was tied in a messy bun of red hair with some that fell by her ears, her face was nude and clear, her lips glowed; she looked as sweet and as innocent for her to be. Anyone who'd taken a fresh look at her that day would've thought she was a shy and kind girl in nature, that she was issued from a family of doctors or lawyers and that she was loving and giving.

But John wondered if; if she'd been that sweet and perfect angel, would he have been so attracted to her? His Gage might not be pure, innocent and sweet but she was conscious, mature. A woman with as much talent and determination he hadn't seen before, she was realistic- too realistic-, she was not issued from no fairy tale. She was real.

But she'd also hurt him- Yes, hurt. Worst than a knee in his groin or a concussion or a bad fall. Because the pride of a man was his biggest weakness, she'd have to pay for this affront.

"Hi Johnny."

"Gage." He nodded as she looked down at the table picking up some cookies.

"You haven't been replying to my texts. Is anything wrong?"

"No, I was just busy."

"I'm sure you are." She looked up from the table then straight at him. Grey eyes shining like diamonds.

"Stop." He said sternly and her eyes fell to the side. "Liz is getting suspicious. We got into a fight."

"Then don't come anymore." She said and he broke the plastic cup in his hand. Gage's head snapped at the sound.

"For some time." She smiled. "At least until things are settled down with her, do you mind?"

"Not at all."

"It doesn't mean I don't want you anymore John, I- I _do_." She said, as if it were hard to pronounce. "Let's try to drag this a bit longer okay?" she smiled up at him, he only nodded.

"There's something else. Tell me."

"Nothing we could discuss here."

"That serious?" she frowned. "Tell me now so I can start to think of a way to make it up to you now." She teased; and he chuckled and looked away.

"There! At least I got a smile."

"Since when do smiles count as something Gage?"

"Since I saw _your_ smile." She poured simply; bright grey eyes shot him a glare again. He was tempted to drag her into a corner and fuck her senseless, to kiss her until her lips bled, pull her hair.

"I-I have to go."

_**O°°O**_

"Oh! I'm sorry."

"No harm done." The man let go of her forearm and frowned. "Gage is that it?"

"Yes and you are?"

"I'm Lee McAllister you might know my wife Brenda."

"No, I'm sorry."

"So this is the one woman in the neighbourhood who does not indulge into the futile chatter around here!"

"That must be me!"

"My wife and her friends seem very fond of you. I'm not sure in which sense." He chuckled.

"Every press is good press." She smiled as she sipped on her cranberry and apple juice. The man smiled and graceful wrinkles, suggesting he was of age, formed around the corners of his mouth. He was a beautifully greying man, with silver hair and bright blue eyes- everyone seemed to have blue eyes- but what was striking was his perfectly white and aligned teeth when he smiled.

"I hear you paint. Is that true?"

"Yes. Oil on canvas, I'm currently exhibiting at The Michael Murphy."

"The Michael Murphy? I heard they'd had Jaworski a month ago. Could you get a glimpse?"

"Yes, I was at Mr Jaworski closing night."

"I had an impeachment at work, I'm a fan of his work."

"Who wouldn't be? Nicholas's photographs are hypnotic, they seem to adapt to everyone's eyes, to show what _we_ would like to see in them." She said thoughtfully and the corners of Lee's mouth pulled upwards again.

"I couldn't agree more."

"Mr McAllister-"

"Lee, please."

"Lee; what do you as a living?"

"Officer of customs, in the ports of Florida."

"Oh! So you're the guy we should blame for the importation of drugs inside the U.S?"

"Exactly! One of them at least." he laughed.

"People must hate you."

"They spit on the ground behind me." He shook his head amusingly.

"And your superiors?"

"I'm their laughingstock." He said feigning a pathetic face. Gage chuckled to herself and took a sip of her soda and Lee did same. As she took a closer look, she deduced he was in his early forties, and prematurely greying; he had a queer glow in his eyes, and a charming smile, he spoke eloquently- no swearing- and his posture was relaxed and distinguished at the same time. He spoke rarely of his job, and he asked a lot about painting, her methods and how fascinated he was with artistic talent. Lee was attractive, but there is more, Lee was an interesting man.

"It must be fascinating to live off your talent. I admire you Gage."

"You shouldn't, and its not false modesty."

"You must be very talented, I know the old Barns of the Michael Murphy; he's grumpy. I'm surprised you speak of him as _kind_."

"Barns- That eccentric old man. He's a peach."

"If you say so."

Afterwards, eyes began to turn in their way as they noticed how long their conversation had dragged. Lee made a joke of it and excused himself before getting back to Brenda's side. As he walked away, she took in his entire profile. The way he'd pulled the sleeves of his blue shirt, his beige cargo pants hung at his hips and drew his fit silhouette. One thought crossed her mind.

_I'd hit that._

But she got passed it and her eyes searched for John's. She turned left and then right, and as always, his eyes had found hers before hers had found his. The look on his face was hard, severe; and a little scary.

"Look! I don't know who you _think_ you are! But Lee is _mine_ no touchy!"

Gage's eyes widened at the bitter tone that was addressed to her. She narrowed her eyes around the face that had charged her the accusation.

"Do I know you?"

"I'm Brenda McAllister! Lee's wife! Now what the hell where you telling my husband?"

Gage sighed.

"I think I've asked you a question! You think you can come here _uninvited_, and flirt with _my_ Husband. We all know what you are and what you do, so keep your paws off my husband Gage."

Gage looked up and down at the poor thing. She was a pretty brunette, slim in figure, but her head, which was too big for her small shoulders to support, made her look kind of…corny. This wasn't her first barbecue and this certainly wouldn't be the last, Gage emptied her cup and as eyes fixed on them, preying for every opportunity for her to loose her cool, she decided she'd never give them that satisfaction.

"Are you done Brenda?" she inquired and the woman shook her head snobbishly.

"Good, my name is Gage Jansen, nice to meet you." She extended her hand and some laughter emanated from around them and the brunette made a disgusted face, the same one we make when he discover the corpse of a rat. Brenda scoffed and stormed off. Gage giggled inwardly and took a cup and retreated a secluded portion of the garden. The Frys had the prettiest garden, or so they said, it was wide, the plants were cut into clean green puffs, the grass was equally green, there was a coquette stone walkway that led to a hidden oak tree. Around the oak was built a wooden bench that curled around the tree. She sat there and finished the soda in her cup and she calmed her spirits. The sun was setting slowly and from where she was, she could see the horizon to the east. The orange clouds, as it formed a straight path down the sky.

"That was _some_ scene! What did you do to that poor woman?"

Gage blinked as a form came between her and the peaceful sunset.

"I should be the one to be worried about."

"I'm sorry Brenda reacted that way Gage. She can overbearing and very jealous sometimes. When I came back from the rest room they told me she'd made a scene."

"It's nothing Lee. I'm used to this kind of treatment."

"Are you? You're used to jealous wives threatening you in public?"

"It comes close to that, but that's another story." She chuckled. Her phone buzzed in the pocket of her jeans.

"Now I know what earns you this statue of _pariah_ around here."

"What is that?"

"You're a threat to all these women Gage. Anny for instance is sure there is not a way in the world a woman can get a house like yours on her own, Liz, envies your skills, and your beauty and Brenda, well, Brenda loves her husband. You represent independence, talent and beauty. Everything they're not. I've always wondered why you women were so hard on your own sex."

"And you know that because…"

"They discuss all their matters in the middle of my living room every damn Sunday God has given me to witness!"

"I think there was a compliment somewhere so; thank you Lee." She said taking out her phone and frowned when she saw what was written on the screen.

"A problem?"

"No, but I-I have to go." She said standing up.

"Fine. Until we meet again Gage." He said provokingly.

"My pleasure Lee." She said and before she left, he took her hand and shook it firmly. His palm had been smooth and yet his fingers had clasped around her hands rather severely.

_**O°°O**_

As Gage arrived in her house, it was a dead as a grave yard. His text had been clear though.

_ Your house in 2 minutes, I want you._

"John?" she called but no one responded. She went upstairs to her bedroom but not a ghost lingered. She came back down; searched on the veranda, then back inside she took the stairs that led down to her basement. The door was opened and sighed as his figure appeared in the doorway.

"There you are."

"You kissed Jaworski?"

"What? No, I haven't seen him since the last time he was here."

"Precisely!" he hissed and Gage bit her lip.

"_He_ kissed me, I didn't kiss him."

"But you didn't seem to push him away Gage!"

"Look, I know how royally fucked up my relationship with Nick is, but John it was not what you think it was. He was saying good bye, that's all."

John laughed bitterly, his hand holding the back of his neck. "Good bye? And do you guys fuck to say good morning?"

"That's why you asked me to come here? For an interrogation? I asked you to trust me John!"

"AND I DID!" he shouted. "I FUCKING DID! And When I have my back turned, you kiss Jaworski! What am I supposed to think?"

"Nicholas is not going to be a problem anymore. I told him we'd never be together John! I made him understand I'd _never_ want him! Not like I want _you_! How many times do I need to remind you John?"

"As many times as necessary Gage, because I can't trust you."

"Well, I'm sick of begging for your trust John! For God's sake I chose _you_ over him! Him that I've known for years, Nicholas has been my only friend and for your pretty eyes John I scorned him! What else can I do?"

"I don't have a fucking clue! More!"

"I flew to Los Angeles John! Don't you remember? I flew three thousand miles to see you that night at the Beverly Hills." She paused and chuckled. "I paid a freaking bar man to tell you to join me, I bribed the receptionist to give me your room number!"

"You didn't do it for me, you did it for sex!"

Her eyes narrowed around his, and his around hers, with the same infuriated fire in both pair of irises. She backtracked into the room; it was her turn to put her hand on the back of her neck.

"And there is a difference?"

"Of course there is!"

"Enlighten me then. John I can't go on like this! Tell me what I have to do and I'll do it Christ!"

"Will you?"

"Yes I will!"

"Why?"

She turned around and he was in front of her. She saw in his face the same sadness as in Nicholas's eyes, but in John's that sadness was simply unbearable, accusatory. He grabbed her sides and relief flew out of her body when he brought his lips down to hers. His kiss was desperate, seeking and searching for something. His tongue delved into her mouth like a projectile, and she relaxed into his body. It was like every spent with John reminded her how miserable it felt to be without him.

"John I don't have a clue what you want from me right now. I've given you everything." She said as she pulled away.

"Be mine."

"I am."

"I'm leaving tomorrow. We're touring around the country. I won't be home for two months."

"Oh." She looked to the floor but he grabbed her chin and forced him to look up.

"Come with me."


	21. Chapter 21

He'd thought he'd have to enounce all sorts of reasons to win her over, like he did with Liz. He thought he'd have to promise her all sorts of presents and give her the guarantee that he'd be there whenever she would need him, but he didn't. Gage did not fret it any longer than it was necessary.

_**0°°0**_

"_You want me to come with you and your merry band of turds while you run around the country?"_

"_Yes."_

"_You want me to leave my home…" she moved out of his arms. "For two months?"_

"_You can say no if you want, but I'd rather you said yes."_

"_Will you stop bothering me with your trust issues if I come with you?"_

"_Absolutely."_

"…_Then…for the love of God." She sighed, smiling. "I'll come with you John!" _

"_You just made me the happiest man ever-"_

"_It's okay, no need to inflate it!"_

"_You won't regret it Gigi." He smiled and took both her hands and held them to his chest. Gage delved into his blue eyes, to seek for a sign of falsehood, but John was too sincere, too transparent. He was no manipulator, and whatever he said, she was now ready to believe._

"_You'll bend me until I break John."_

"_I've learned to know you're made of a material that didn't. But you have my word; I'll take good care of you."_

"_I can take care of myself, and I'm sure you'll be busy with work. Are you sure we'll have the time to see each other at all?"_

"_We will."_

"_Well…if I can get my daily dose of Johnny then I'm fine." She smiled._

"_Daily huh?" _

_**O°°O**_

Their first destination was Austin in Texas. He was due there in two days, but it was a seventeen hour drive from Florida and Gage insisted to take her car along with her; it was the opportunity to –with her own words- "See what her babe had under the hood" so he persuaded her to let him come with her. Saturday morning, he finished packing and bid Liz a 'hearty' goodbye.

"I'll call you as soon as I land okay Lizzie?"

"Hmm."

"Please give me a smile or I won't leave." He pouted as he caressed her cheek. She gave him a small smile and something sunk in his stomach.

"Take care of yourself baby. I'll get you something when I get back."

"Promise?"

"Promise." He confirmed before he kissed her and pulled back. She grabbed him and pulled him down into a hug and it almost broke his heart. During an instant, the poignant edge of guilt pierced his stomach and he almost confessed his secrets, but he resisted and carried his suitcases out to the cab that waited outside.

"The Airport Sir?" asked the cab driver.

"No. South Mac Dill Avenue."

"Where exactly?"

"The Michael Murphy Gallery."

_**O°°O**_

"How did it go?" Gage asked as John opened the door of her front seat.

"Okay." He shrugged, casting his head down. John set his bags in trunk of the black jeep and slipped back into the passenger's seat.

"How's Barns?"

"Worried, he thought I was leaving everything behind me and running away with a man, that he would break my heart and I'd try to suicide." She chuckled, and John turned his head.

"Isn't it what you're doing? Omitting the heart breaking and the suicide of course." he asked and she started the engine of her and grabbed the steering wheel.

"No John it's _not_ what is happening. I needed to move around a little, I guess you only offered me an alternative and… what is Land O' Lakes _without_ you?"

"I can imagine. You'd join Brenda and gang of bitchy housewives."

"Upon my soul John if I ever do!" she laughed.

"What? They're not _that_ bad! I mean you'd look good in white stockings, a hideous yellow polka dot dress."

"Lord no…"

"Damn, I can't believe that woman, she's watched too much of _Mad Men._"

"I have no idea what that is, but if you like vintage John then we'll do vintage, I'm all yes." She smiled coquettishly, and she let go of the steering wheel and put her hand on his knee. They exchanged looks for a second and she noticed his unsteady breaths, and his chest moving up and down faster than before and she exhaled and directed her attention back to road.

"Do you want some music?"

"Sure." He said.

"Let me see what they have on." She said as she searched for a music channel.

_I walked across_

_An empty land,_

_I knew the pathway like the back of my hand._

"Oh hell no!" she hissed and switched to another channel.

_I let it fall my heart,_

_And as it fell, you rose to claim it._

_It was dark and I was over, until you kissed my lips and you saved me._

"Definitely not!" she hissed a second time and John turned to her.

"You're the first woman I know who doesn't like _Adele_."

"Who?"

"Adele, the woman who is singing."

"Oh; I have a passion for sad things, but _not _love songs. People spend way too much time listening to depressive music that reminds them _just_ how much they've screwed up."

"So what kind of music do you like?" John asked, turning his attention completely to her; smiling. "I can't wait to know."

"Why? Does it matter?"

"It does! I mean, what kind of music is able to make Gage, the ice queen melt?"

"If that's what you really think of me, you'll be deceived. I'm very sensitive."

"Are you now? Do you cry in front of movies?"

"No."

"Not even _Titanic_? Or…_A Walk to Remember_?"

"Not even in front of those two."

"Have you ever had animals?"

"A rabbit, when I was ten."

"Did you love it?"

"No. I fed to the dogs of our neighbour." She admitted and from the corner of her eye, she saw John make a face.

"What? They were hungry!"

"Let's get back to what you listen. I wanna know your favourite song."

"Wait, let me find something." She cruised again through the radio channels, turning the round button over and over and hissing whenever a song she disliked was on the radio. John smiled as he observed; it was not about finding what Gage disliked, but figuring out what she _did_ like.

"There." She said, proudly turning up the volume. Sounds of slow guitar and base started and she smiled, loosening her grip on the wheel as the voice started singing. Her entire countenance changed as a matter of fact; her face became calmer, and more serene, and that smile. There was a small discrete smile on her nude lips. Like she was reminding herself of a very pleasant memory, and she wasn't in the car with him anymore, but somewhere, much farther, and much happier.

_Summer, time, time._

_Child, your leaving's easy._

"Of course." John shrugged.

"What?" she turned as they stopped at a red light and she swept her hair back with her hand.

"Such a tragic singer, and such a melancholic song. Of course you would love this."

"Janis Joplin was _not_ tragic. I think she lived a happy life and wherever she is now, I'm sure she doesn't have any regrets and _summertime_ is a beautiful song; my favourite."

"When did you first hear it?"

Gage smiled. "When I was little, my- _Diana_, put this song on our old stereo when she was happy, and she sang to it in the morning before I went to school. A terrible voice she had, and it was not very pleasing waking up to that. But those were the rare days I saw her smile."

"Good times?"

"Not really. I knew she was not happy because of _me_, but at least she was happy, and that made _me_ happy."

Gage turned the volume up, and the song proceeded, so he remained silent. He observed her face; not a flush, not a sign of the presence of a tear, her eyes did not even glow, and her mouth was tightly pressed together yet she looked perfectly natural. She did not seem to battle with her emotions –if emotions she had had at that moment- or ever.

"There's something that puzzles me." He spoke up when the song ended.

"What is that?"

"You don't seem angry at her. A lot of people would have been bitter, and I was partly expecting you would be too. Don't you feel any resentment towards your mother? It would be only normal if you did, but if you don't then…"

"Then?" she said.

"I just think it would be normal if you did."

"But I don't. You see John; there is no rule that forces a woman to love the child she has given life to. Motherhood is not something you learn, and my mother was not meant to be a mother; she knew it. Yet she kept me, and she took care of me the way a mother in _her_ position could. Yes she never attended PTAs, and she never checked to see if I did my home-works, or pack food in a lunch box with horrible little pink flowers-" she paused and chuckled. "But she took care of me nevertheless, and." She paused again and sighed. "and she…she was my _mother_. I owe her my life."

"I see. You're right, I'm sorry I shouldn't have judged her."

"You shouldn't have. But it's okay Johnny. Apart from Nicholas, you're the only man to whom I tell these stories."

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely." She smiled. "And you? How are your parents?"

"I thought the…nature of our relationship made it impossible to us getting to know one another. Have you changed your mind?"

"Let's consider that while the tour lasts, we're…_disrupting_ the rules. To the point where I am…Is that okay with you?"

"I'm all yes Miss Jansen." He grinned maliciously.

"You're proud aren't you?"

"Very." He said and he gave her a side look paired with his small trademark smile and she bit her lip. It was John's second best smile ever. The first was the one he had when he laughed at one of her jokes, the wide, all teeth showing smile that could put her in a four fold. This one was subtle and sexy; carrier of a message that woke all her senses like the candle that lit the room with its lone flame.

"So; your parents." She resumed.

"Well, my mother is named Carol and I took my father's name. I am the second of five brothers."

"Do any of your brothers work in entertainment as well?"

"No, I'm the only one."

"Why did you decide to do that? Sorry if you've been asked this a million times…"

"It's alright, it's different when it comes from you." He replied. "Well, my father was the biggest wrestling fan in the world, and I started working out as a kid, and I majored in Physiology in college and everything took from there I guess."

"I bet your Pap's proud of you."

"That he is. He tells me everyday –_You're my biggest pride son; you're just like your father_-"

"And your brothers, do you all get along?"

"Yeah, Sean, Matt, Dean and Steve and I are really close; we share a lot but I rarely have the time to catch up with them on my breaks."

"Cena…that doesn't sound very American."

"No, my father is Italian."

"Nice! Do you know where in Italy?"

"Sicily, or so he says."

"…Now I see..." She grinned rolling her eyes amusingly.

"See what?"

"Nothing of great importance." She said quickly biting her lip and looking out the window.

"You'll know I'll get it out of you anyway right?"

"You can still try." She tempted.

"No, you would love it and I'd kill the purpose."

"You're no fun Johnny." She sighed. "I was already turned on." She rolled her eyes again. His eyes dropped on her mouth, then her neck, then and her tiny dress. It was clear blue and had white stripes with a sweet heart neck and a corset like design that emphasized on her shapely breasts. John looked away.

"You see? That's exactly what I was talking about. I was wondering where it came from, but now I know; it's in your blood."

"What are you talking about again?"

"Let me tell you a story about men, little girl." She chuckled and John frowned at the tag. "I've been to Italy once –A nice country- and I met a man there, I think his name was Antonio, I won't give you his complete description; partly because I can't remember myself. Antonio was Sicilian and I went home with Antonio and I think if I'd stayed just until morning, I would've learned to _parla Italiano_."

"And _how_ does that concern me?" he hissed.

"I'm getting to it. I don't know if anyone ever told you but John;" she paused and looked at him. "You're really good in bed; _really, really, really_, _very_ good. Italians all have that in common…rumour has it. I mean it. Don't give me those eyes because I spoke of Antonio, you're nothing close to him Johnny. You're better. A million times better." She said, and he smiled widely, and Gage even saw a little tint of pink on his cheeks.

"You're toying me Gage."

"I know, and I'm sorry."

"Tell me something though."

"Anything."

"You said I was better than the other turd, but I'd like to know... Am I the best of all?"

_**O°°O**_

Gage had simply given John a smile for answer. They got on the highway and drove out of Florida and moved towards Austin. After a few stops and switching seats, they finally arrived in Austin. He booked a room for two in the hotel they had been assigned to. Gage had dropped him in front of the hotel to park her car in the underground parking in case some curious eyes had seen him stepping out of the Jeep. He had to admit; she had everything under control, she anticipated every move ten times ahead, she was so discrete it was even hard for him to think she was real. Swift and silent; like the wind. A valet carried his luggage to his suite and he sent Gage a text message.

_9: 56 p.m._

_**(Room 129, I'm waiting for you.)**_ He pressed send, and received a reply immediately.

_9:57 p.m._

_**(Room 87, aren't you supposed to get ready for tomorrow?)**_

John remained puzzled for a moment. He took a shower to take away the smell of sweat mixed with the faded scent of his cologne. Under the shower he thought of Liz; he'd promised he'd call her as soon as he 'landed' and of course; he forgot. Gage reminded him a little before they arrived at the hotel. She listened patiently as they spoke over the phone, looking straight ahead as he discussed cheap neighbourhood gossip, and kitchen tiles and gardens. His attention had been directed to Gage the entire time. She expressed a million things in her silence; a million things only _he_ could sense, her simplest moves were captivating. The way she frowned when her hair tickled her face, the grunt when a love song came on the radio, the contented smile that haunted her lips as she slept in the seat besides him…

"What the fuck John…"

_**O°°O**_

A loud bang on the door forced Gage out of her bed and a heavy sleep. She opened the door, for she knew who it was.

"John, its midnight, go get some sleep."

"I can't. Why didn't you come to my room?" he frowned. Gage whipped her eyes and looked into the hallway; fortunately it was empty; not a ghost lingered. She let John in and locked behind him.

"You needed to get some sleep."

"I took us a room."

"Yeah, about that…I think its better I take a separate room. It's safer."

"Mind to explain?"

"Don't you think someone might notice it if a woman slipped in and out of _your_ room? I'd like to avoid sneaking out, and tiptoeing in corridors. The rest of your hum…_colleagues_ are staying in this hotel too. They might want to see you; so ultimately, it would be a bad idea."

"I guess you're right." He admitted and by his expression, with reluctance.

"Is there a problem?"

"No, no, I guess I'm just impressed by your…thoughtfulness."

"Being beautiful is not incompatible with being perceptive Johnny." She smiled and he did too.

"There's something bothering you? Pray tell." She frowned as she sat on the edge of the bed; she tapped the space next to her and he sat besides her.

"It's nothing really." He shook his head. "I just feel like there's something wrong, but I have no idea what that is. Like something bad is about to happen, I can sense it, yet I can't do anything about it."

"Does it have anything to do with me being here? Are you scared someone might find out?" she put her hand on his thigh.

"No, I thought about it, but I'm positive you'll keep us under low." He chuckled. "It's quite fun actually."

"Are you anxious about tomorrow?"

"No, I'll be fine. What are you going to do while I'm at the arena?"

"Visit Austin. I heard from the receptionist how to get a tour of the city; by the bye, my name is Heather fields."

"You took a fake name?"

"Of course."

"You know the Federals are not gonna to come after me because I cheat right?"

"I'd rather no one came after you at all. I'm trying to be cautious, please don't tell me to let loose."

"I know, and I thank you." He put his hand on top of hers on his thigh but she tensed slightly. A minute of silence passed without a word being uttered.

"I'll let you sleep now." He stood up, and she walked him to the door.

"Goodnight Gigi." He said, looking down at her. Suddenly, he wasn't so sure what to do. Gage climbed on her toes and left a delicate peck on his lips. John looked at her dumbfounded.

"What? I shouldn't have?" she frowned.

"Yes! I mean no! I mean, I'm glad you did."

"Let's not start acting like teenagers Johnny. Good night." She put her hand on the door handle.

"Can I stay a bit longer?" he asked. There was a loud tud in his chest and it was almost painful. Gage let go of the door handle and walked back to the bed. He watched her undo the knot of her robe and throw the satin cloth on the floor. She remained in a very short pink silk robe with a sweet heart neckline decorated with white lace. John gulped.

"Are you just going to stand there? Come." She said, pulling out the bed sheets and slipping inside them. John walked to her bedside and she extended her hand to him.

"Come share a bed with the devil Johnny." She smiled. It was ironical how true she had been that night. In her little pink nightgown, she looked more of an angel than anything else. Anyways, he took the hand she'd offered and knelt onto the bed. She helped him out of his t-shirt and she gasped when it fell to the floor, then she untied his belt and popped his buttons opened. John got out of his shoes and shorts and was left only with his boxers. He slipped into the space besides her.

"Are you good?" she asked.

"Yeah, thank you."

"It'll be hard to sleep like this." She chuckled. He eyed the space between them in the sheets. It was merely a few centimetres yet it seemed a whole precipice. He moved closer to her and leaned on his right elbow.

"John, I'd rather you kept some distance. It's getting a little crowded."

"It's just the two of us!" he chuckled.

"And that's still a whole lot. Usually I don't share beds for more than twenty minutes."

"You still haven't answered my question by the way."

"You wanna know if you're the best man I've had sex with? If a man has ever made me come better than you do? If he was able to extirpate more than what you do from me?" she propped herself on her left elbow to face him; John nodded.

"No, you're not Johnny." She grinned. Her glacial stare shone from the light of the moon through the window.

"Then who?"

"A man who did a lot for me."

"The one who did the painting of you?" his eyebrow shot up and she nodded.

"Did you love him?"

"You've asked this already John, no I didn't love him. I don't know what it is to _love_ someone. At least not in the way other people do."

"How do _you_ love?"

"I think you know it already." She smiled. Gage's right hand came out from under the sheets and she began to run them up and down his chest, then his neck.

"You're wrong." He said as she fondled his neck. John grabbed her hand and pinned it above her head and hovered her.

"I'm better than him."

Her lower lip quivered for a second and a small smile crept to her pink lips. His hands gripped hers tighter and she cringed slightly and smiled again.

"Prove it Johnny."

_**O°°O**_

A sensation comparable to suffocation, mixed with apprehension and fear. John let his emotions transpire in every thrust that bonded his body to hers. He was scared, jealous, envious, confused and completely enthralled in the act; none of them wanting to let go. Gage met him; thrust for thrust, not giving up and he hated it. They could have continued for hours, but the rays of early morning pierced through the glass and took them out of their trance.

John got dressed and regained his room. He kissed her good bye chastely and left. The next day passed like a storm, Gage, as promised visited the Austin as much as she could, went lingerie shopping and got back to her hotel room. Later that day, an idea ran through her mind and she left her room and headed for John's. In the hallway, she pushed her hair in front her face and cast her head down. Finally, she found his room and opened it with the key card she'd stolen from him the previous night. She opened the tap in the bathroom and filled the bathtub with hot and foamy water. She changed from her dress into the Victoria Secret she bought today, then wrapped herself in a robe. John arrived a few minutes later. The room was dark; as to her usual habit, she'd let the curtains open wide and so the only light came from the moon. John eyed her quizzically.

"I'm here to make amends Johnny." She smiled.

"I didn't know there was a need for any." He said as he dropped his duffel bag.

"Last night…You frustrated me with your jealousy issues."

"Jealousy issues?

"Let's skip the part you deny that you turn into The Incredible hulk every time I mention my other…past partners."

"Partners…" he scoffed.

"John, I'm here to tell you that there is no need to be jealous. I can't erase what I did with any of them. But today I'm all about you; and no one else."

"I know." He put his hand on his forehead. "But…until when?"

"What?"

"Today you want me Gage, then what'll happen tomorrow when you don't?"

"I-I...This sure won't last forever! I don't know exactly when John, but ultimately some day we'll have to stop this!"

"And then what? What will I be to you after that? How will you look at me when you're done? I'll just be another name; a vague memory you'll talk about in bed with your next conquest."

"That's how things are supposed to go John. In case you haven't noticed, you are married, and there's no other way I can look at you. How many times are we going to have this discussion John?"

He sat on the edge of the bed and put his elbows on his knees.

"You're right, I'm sorry. You're free and I have no reasons to claim you or your sympathy."

"You'll always have me and my sympathy John;…or just me perhaps." She giggled, crawling up behind him, she began a small massage down his neck; where his skin tied knots over knots.

"I ran a bath for us; the water's gonna get cold." She murmured in his ear.

He smirked and in a fraction of a second, they were both naked in the bathtub, rubbing against each other in the hot water.

"I haven't taken a bath in ages." John sighed as he leaned against the marble.

"Liz doesn't do that for you? I thought all housewives were instinctively thought these things."

"Liz is the archetype of the opposite of housewife."

"Well enjoy it while it lasts Mr Cena, because I won't get on housewife mode every time you make a caprice." She crawled between his legs.

"Not even if I begged?"

"Not even if you got to your knees and cried bloody tears." She encircled his neck with her hands and adjusted herself and straddled him. They began to kiss heatedly. John entered her swiftly and softly and held her waist against his while their bodies rocked to and fro. The pounding got more frequent and water splashed all over the cold tile. The mirrors and all glass were covered in a thick fog and the vapour diffused like in a sauna. Gage felt mounting in her the aggression and yearn from yesterday paired with the anxiety brought today, her pleasure built up.

John had his hand firmly across her back to held her steadily against him and one in her hair to keep her head back. Gage disliked when he pulled her hair; she saw in the gesture a form of enslavement. Her humid chest and her hard nipples teased his upper body, and the gentle sways of the waist pleased everything downwards.

"Oh John!"

His pace began to build up and she felt herself on the brink of orgasm; multiple times. Yet every thrust was like a rush of adrenaline that never seized to run its course through their bodies. In one swift move, he bucked his hips harder and kept her steady to receive all of him, in one second; one final stroke, one final humid kiss and one orgasm brought them closer to each than words ever would. She moaned his name in agonizingly slowly into his ear, and a few times more as they descended from the high. The water had cooled by the time, but they dared not move and remained in the same position for a minute. Their simultaneous breaths and the small waves of water steadying disrupted the silence.

Gage still straddled him, her arms were still around his neck and his around her middle. They would've never confessed each other how comfortable their bodies were to each other. In a moment of weakness, John tightened his grip around her and let his thumb draw a circular pattern on her back.

"What are you doing?" she stirred.

"Nothing."

"We should fight more often." She giggled and he smiled.

"I don't think it would be good for my health. You're maddening Gage."

"Then, you should've been in an asylum by now." She paused. "Or dead." She finished and John lifted her so he could face her. She looked like a mermaid now; with her damp red hair, her full and coloured lips and her big grey eyes. He caught a strand of hair that fell on her face- smirking at the memory of her frowning as she drove with her hair in her face- and he tucked it behind her ears.

"I'm on my way I guess."


	22. Chapter 22

"Hey."

"Hey Johnny, what are you doing here? Ain't you supposed to be 'working'?

"I was, but Saturday is a half day for everyone; even me."

"You speak as though you were the President of the United States."

Gage sat up on her bed, with her legs folded beneath her as John threw his bag and fell on the bed. She wore a thin mousseline blouse, with a deep v neckline that came right between her breasts; one of her latest acquisitions from Ana Taylor.

"Did you stay here all day?" he asked.

"Sleeping mostly, I was very tired."

"I'll drive all the way to Phoenix next time."

"I wasn't tired because of the drive." She grinned and John smiled.

"Sorry." He murmured.

"It was my pleasure, don't be sorry." Gage smiled maliciously, her eyes shimmering with that special spark that lit whenever John was around. They'd driven from Austin, to Las Vegas and John had found great amusement in keeping her up all night to satiate his latest fantasies of car sex, and surprisingly enough, she was delightfully shocked to see what had been polluting his lovely mind.

"So you stayed here all day?"

"Yes."

"We're in Las Vegas!" he sat up.

"…Is that supposed to excite me…?"

"Let me break down for you foreigner. We're in Las Vegas; Sin city, you must've heard that everything that happens in Vegas stays in Vegas right? Casinos, Strip clubs, you can find anything here."

"You seemed very informed on the issue." She raised her eyebrow and he chuckled.

"It's simply one of the most beautiful places in the world. Wait until sun comes down, and you'll see."

"If you say so."

"Or may be I should show you." He said, standing, he walked towards the window. He made a few steps up and down before coming to a halt.

"I know." He murmured, mostly to himself. Gage eyed him suspiciously; she wondered if it was a good thing to have her John in such a brainstorm. He sat back down besides her with a cocky smile, like an idea had sprung up into him.

"I know." He murmured again. "You're gonna love it."

"It would be better if I had a clue what you're talking about."

"I like to make surprises." He said.

"I'd noticed." She said, rolling her eyes. Gage stirred; spreading her legs and putting her elbow on one of her knees, her hand in her hair. John's smile fell and a scowl formed on his face.

"Is that a bruise?" He asked, his eyes fixed on the inner thigh of her right leg. She'd noticed it when she'd showered this morning. It was nothing pretty; her skin marked a lot and the blue and purple-like spot looked alien on her milk-white skin.

"It's nothing don't worry."

"Since when d' you…" he paused. "Did I do _this_?...To _you_?"

"John, don't worry. Please." She begged. She heard the sting in his voice, and the manner in which his eyebrows were crumpled in his forehead, the way his lower lip pursed.

"Yesterday?" he asked, and she nodded.

"I'm sorry Gigi." He sighed.

"It's _okay_, I mean it. It doesn't hurt really."

"Let me see it." He ordered, bringing her leg to his lap, he traced a soft pattern around the blue bum with his finger. His finger made a small circle, round and round and Gage bit her lip. He seemed serious and disturbed by the horrific mark, but the motion of his finger; round and round, so close to… She caught her lower lip with her teeth and inhaled a sharp breath. John's fingers massaged her, teased the skin, made her blood rush in her veins and her heart pump faster. She gripped the sheets as he continued and when he stopped, she exhaled in relief. Her face was flushed, and her lips; red and parted. Her eyes met his and he saw the fire in them…he_ felt_ the fire in them. Blue pierced into grey, sending silent invitations in a simple stare. John looked away suddenly, as if torn with opposite emotions.

"You're sure it doesn't hurt?" he asked and she nodded. He pressed down on the bruise and she winced, in pain or pleasure, they both weren't sure anymore.

"I'll go get you some balm." He sat up, but she grabbed his arm.

"No!" she propped herself on her knees and put her hands on his shoulders. "Why don't you finish what your fingers have started?"

_**O°°O**_

John left the bedroom to the living area like a jittery mess. He made a few phone calls, but Gage either paid no attention to his matters or tried not to. Indeed, she was very satisfied with the way the trip was going; she had not been confronted with any of his colleagues and was pretty sure that none could see him as John came and went in her room. This usual excitement that came along with every forbidden affair, made her more joyous and more vigorous than she would have expected herself to be. For, John's tastes sharpened from time to time and for any woman, it could've been hard to adjust and satisfy such a man, but as she craved for him just as he did her, Gage found it apt and even gratifying.

But unbeknownst to both parties of the couple, a complicity they hadn't noticed settled between them. John could, with ease, foretell Gage's expectations or tastes, the same way, he thought, he could surprise her even more.

"Can you finally tell me what is going on?"

"Nope! I told you…surprise…" he grinned as he walked back into the room. It was almost six o'clock; the sun was setting down on Las Vegas, and with John insisting on them staying at a very fancy hotel, they had a beautiful view of the skyline. But Gage did none of it and continued to read whatever novel she had begun.

"What are you reading?" he asked, finally focusing his attention enough to wonder what lectures such a woman could have.

"Steinbeck's _Of Mice and men_, I enjoyed _The Grapes of Wrath_ so I thought I'd give this one a shot." She murmured, not turning to him.

"Ow…"

"I understand from that sound that you did not expect me to…know how to read perhaps?" she raised her eyebrows.

"Never that! I only…didn't think you were…an assiduous reader."

"Then you thought wrong Johnny." She paused. "I might've dropped out of high school but I am sure, I am more cultivated than the average layperson."

"I have no doubt about that. I'm glad actually. May be you could read me a bedtime story once in a while…" He smiled.

"Oh, most certainly." She chuckled.

"Does Liz read a lot?"

John's stomach made the usual turn at the mention of his oblivious wife.

"Yeah…I mean _Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Vogue…"_ he sighed and Gage chuckled before hitting him on the arm with her book.

"Don't be so mean to her; I forbid you." She said seriously, as one stare of hers reduced him to serious silence. He nodded automatically, and she responded with a nod herself. After a few minutes lying there, going through the channels and her reading, he looked down at his watch. He stood up and stretched.

"Are you going anywhere?" she asked, finally looking up from her book.

"Yeah."

"Where?" she replied spontaneously. John grinned and looked down at her.

"What? Curious to know where I go now? Aren't you getting a little possessive Gage?" he snapped humouredly. Gage unfortunately, did not catch the fun, but only understood the serious undertone of his question, the implication that she might be getting jealous…even of his company. So she thought it best not to reply.

"I was joking Gigi."

"What you do of your time concerns no one but you." She said dryly. He knelt down by the edge of the bed, where she faced.

"I didn't mean it seriously. But since I was so pleased you asked…" he smiled. "I'm taking you out dinner tonight."

"You're _what?_"

"We're in Las Vegas, you're on the road with me and I'm not sure to come back here with you again."

"No." she paused. "It's too dangerous, too public!"

"I made arrangements already. It'll be fine."

"No John! What if someone sees us? You'll say I'm your long gone cousin? Or a friend?"

"No one will see us. I'll make sure of it."

"How?"

"Just trust me and you'll see!"

"I can't do that John."

"Look, you've asked me to trust you on this right? I do! And I thank you for being so vigilant, but I need you to trust me as well."

Shifted by a sense of gilt, or perhaps it was the sharp edge of a feeling deeper that pushed her to trust him so faithfully. John was convincing; did it come from his eyes? They were so blue, they looked as pure as a child's, or was it the sting in his voice that made it so heart wrenching? A grown up man with ability to unstiffen her frigid feelings and make them part, as the petal which is pulled from its flower.

"Fine." She frowned.

"See? It ain't as easy it seems huh?" he paused." Now imagine how felt when you came onto me?" he grinned. She fathomed it for a moment, visualizing herself in his position; putting in danger a marriage, a reputation, a friendship or many, for a mere stranger, a fling once in a while, for sex…even if in this case, it was wonderful sex.

"So what's the plan?" she smiled.

"_That's_ my girl." He chuckled. He stood then bent back down and said. "Someone will come get you in the lobby and Gigi…" he paused and smiled; _that_ enchanting smile.

"…Wear something nice."

_**O°°O**_

Like she needed to be told Gage snorted in her head. For the occasion, she opted for an emerald/gold knee length silk dress by Alexander Wang accompanied by a pair of basic black Jimmy Choo. She curled her hair in that vintage Hollywood style and decided for a minimal make up. She grabbed a black leather clutch and eyed herself in the mirror for some time.

"There goes nothing." She sighed as she straightened the silk down her waist. The phone rang and it was the receptionist informing her a driver was there to escort her. She grabbed a trench coat and left.

In the lobby, there was barely anyone but she noticed a group of three or four men; of average age, all very built, and quite tall so she deduced they were John's co-workers. She recognized one in particular; from the back she could only see his tanned skin, and the ink that extended out from his sleeves down his arms, and his muscular, yet lean legs. Another was white, almost pale, with red spiky hair and a moustache of the same colour and his features were so identical to hers, he almost looked familiar.

"Miss Heather Fields?" She did not pay attention as a man approached her and did not recognize the name at first. She turned to him.

"Are you Miss Heather Fields?" he repeated.

"Hum…Yes! That's me." She said, recalling the name she had chosen.

"Well, Mister John asked me to come get you Ma'am."

"Where to?"

"He insisted I should keep it a secret until we got there. Would you please follow me?" he asked and she obeyed. Damn John. They exited the lobby, but as she walked passed the revolving doors, eyes turned into that direction at the same time and for a second they narrowed around her figure, but as she disappeared a second later, they blinked in stupor.

_**O°°O**_

The Stratosphere tower was one of the most beautiful in Las Vegas. Initially a hotel, it also consisted of a club; The Lounge, a restaurant; Top of the World. As they arrived on the twentieth floor of the immense building, Gage could feel her legs were not quite close the ground anymore. She was still accompanied by the middle-aged man who had driven her all the way here.

"T'is a fine place here Miss Fields. Sir must be very fond of you." He remarked. "I'm Otis by the way."

"Nice to meet you Otis." She nodded. The man reciprocated the smile under his thick moustache while the elevator continued its course.

"Since when do you know John?"

"…'Bout a year…or perhaps two. Sir doesn't require my services often."

"Does he come to Las Vegas a lot?"

"Ah! I wouldn't be able to tell Ma'am, as I said, Sir only calls me in unique circumstances."

"I see."

"But I'm happy he finally got n'self a fine lady like ya; any man would' ha been mad if they worked like mister John does."

"You must be exaggerating." She chuckled.

"Upon my soul if I am Ma'am! T'is a surprise he can find time for himself while he's here."

The elevator stopped and opened. It was the last floor of the building and Gage exited.

"You go have a good night now Miss Fields. My job stops here." Otis greeted as he remained in the elevator. She thanked him with a smile and bid him a good night. Everything seemed to be shinning around her. A thick plush woven fabric was used as carpet; it was velour she thought, it was a circular room with floor to ceiling glass windows and the wide space seemed to have been emptied. There was one table in the centre with white napkins and silver cutlery and big round balloon wine glasses.

"John…" she sighed lowly. She approached the table, two long candles burned into medieval silver chandeliers. Encrusted in the ceiling little bulbs shone like stars in the sky. She then looked out the window. The view was idyllic; light everywhere, from buildings, cars, they looked so small from her point, it was all miniscule and fairy like.

"Welcome to the Top of the World."

"John…" she furrowed her eyebrows.

"Before you tell me I shouldn't have done this, I'd like you to know I _don't_ wanna hear that." He asserted. She looked at him; he was dressed simply in black slacks, and a black linen shirt he'd pulled his sleeves.

"Now come here let me look at you." He said, pulling her hand. He lifted it, and made her spin gently.

"I love it. Who?"

"Who what?"

"Who is it by? You never wear anything that doesn't have a designer label to it." He said eyeing her shoes.

"Now! It seems we have a stalker." She smiled. "…Alexander Wang."

"You stalked me first."

They sat and a waiter came by and asked their orders. The Top of The World restaurant had the most mouth-watering menu she'd seen in a long time. The waiter came back a second time to ask for their appetizers.

"I'll have the Smoked Scottish Salmon." She said.

"And you Sir?"

"Beef Tenderloin Carpaccio and…" he paused for a second. " A dozen oysters from the Chef's selection." He grinned. Gage's eyes shot up and a small smile crept to her lips. The waiter left.

"Oysters huh?" she snapped.

"What? I like Oysters." He said, feigning indifference.

" Sure…" she rolled her eyes.

John looked pensive from the other end of the table. Suddenly she thought back at what Otis had said in the elevator.

"Are you okay? You look worried."

"Not really."

"You know, you can tell me anything right John?"

"Oh yeah? Since when?" he grabbed his glass of water and took a sip.

"Since I let you come and go inside me as you please." She snapped and he choked on his water. He cleared his throat.

"That was very inappropriate." He frowned.

"So tell me what is eating you."

He sighed. " I have a big day tomorrow, work out, signings, and I have to shoot scenes for an upcoming movie about me, then there's the pay-per-view in the evening."

"Isn't it Sunday tomorrow?"

"I work on Sundays."

"So when do you ever get free time to relax?"

"Saturdays."

"You should've stayed at the hotel and got some sleep."

"No, for once I have some time for myself, I wanted to do something special with _you_." He replied as he looked away; her body froze and she felt indisposed suddenly.

The waiter came with their appetizers and they ate in silence. John grabbed an oyster and sucked it in.

"They're really good, you should try them with the cocktail sauce."

"No thanks, I'll pass." She smiled wickedly. She finished her salmon then the waiter came again and asked for what they'd have next. She took the centre cut Filet with red wine sauce and haricots verts while John took a new york steak with brandy pepper corn sauce accompanied by potato au gratin. The man could eat; it was extraordinary, but looking at his size, you didn't wonder where all that went. Gage tasted her filet; it was delicious; cooked _a point_ on the outside and red with blood inside.

"Hmm, God this is good." She moaned as she chewed.

"I loved the breakfast you did me better." He said, putting down his fork and crossing his arms.

"Don't be silly, it was only breakfast. This filet is a masterpiece."

"Gimme some." He asked. She cut a piece and held it with her fork, she handed him the fork, but John opened his mouth so she fed him _a la becée_. The chill of the awkwardness blew over her again, and looked out the window.

"And now you're suddenly fascinated by the view…" he remarked. "You should relax Gage."

"I try."

As they ate, a song played in the background; her song. Summertime suddenly filled the room; low acoustic guitar and Janis Joplin cuddled the atmosphere. She smiled at John and he simply shrugged. It lifted her spirit to hear it and inside, it filled her with joy that he'd remembered it was her favourite song. But as soon as the joy was there, it faded into a dark cloud of uncertainty. Who was John really? Integrity, and righteousness seemed plastered to his forehead, yet he had given in. Why her? He could have any other woman he wanted; yet he only wanted her. Why all the romance?

The waiter brought wine that John had ordered before they'd arrived, he wanted to serve the couple, but John insisted and opened the bottle himself and served her first.

"Such a gentleman." Her lips pulled up. He stood up and grabbed her hand.

"Where are we going?"

"Outside." He said as he led her out through revolving doors. There was a small terrace, furnished with a small wooden bench and a table, with a London lamp that lit up the small place. John brought her to the rail.

"I love Las Vegas." He said. Indeed, what was it not to love about the spectacle in front of them? This place truly deserved its name; Top of The World. The city with its bright lights, shadowy hills in the background and finally the red and yellow sky behind it all; it was a scenery of the most exquisite beauty; enchanting, enthralling, mesmerizing…

"I think I love it too."

"Let's make a toast."

"You do realize how cheesy that sounds right?" she chuckled. "Anyway, a toast to what?"

"To…" he thought. "To… _you_." He paused. "To danger, and thrill…"

"And _sex_." She added.

"_And_ sex; the essences of our lives." He chuckled and they clinked glasses. It was a rather sorrowful toast, yet both knew it was their reality. They took a sip of the liquor.

"Once again; very good choice John. It's delicious."

"I hoped it'd be. It's a _Chianti Ruffino_ _Classico._"

"The one with the gold label?"

"Exactly."

"Nice choice…very appropriate." She sighed as she took another sip of the rich wine. "You've read."

"I don't see what you're talking about."

"Oysters, Janis Joplin, Italian wine, and not to mention the Las Vegas skyline…"

"Simple effort of involvement."

"And not just any. If we hadn't been physical already, I'd think you were trying to seduce me."

"You don't seduce a woman for the sole purpose of sex."

"You don't?" she raised her eyebrows.

"Yes. If one seduces a woman, it is primarily to make her yours _completely_." He said turning to her. "Appeal to all her senses…" he whispered as he drank some of his wine then he put the glass on the rail then he leaned against it and grabbed by the waist, and moved her closer to him.

"Sight…"

His hand crawled up from her waist up her sides.

"Taste…"

He cupped her neck in his large hand, sending a chill down her spine.

"Touch…taste and even smell. You make her _yours._"

John brought her closer and tangled his hand in her hair. But Gage moved away, making two steps back. He frowned.

"Vertigo." She said backing away, and waving in a 'no' motion.

"C'mon! You must be kidding!" he chuckled. "If you don't look down you'll be fine, c'mon! I got you!" he said, stretching his hand out to her. Gage shook her head no, and said;

"Hum…I'd rather not John, why don't we just get back inside?" she said, still backing away. John leaned upright and walked up to her. She said, "The view is even better behind a glass." She smiled. John grabbed her hand forcefully.

"Vertigo has never killed anyone. Come." He ordered. He said it in a way in that made her understand she could not negotiate. Still, the fear gripped her guts as she stared at the tiny balustrade; a universe lay behind it. The wind could push her over in a second, and her life would be over…for all it was.

"John, I can't."

"You can, and you _will_." He said, dragging her by the wrist.

"John! No! Please!" she cried. John was implacable; his grip did not lessen and neither did her fear. She used her other hand, her nails, hell…she even thought of biting off his hand.

"John! No!"

"Gage, you'll be fine!" he said as he gripped the balustrade. She closed her eyes, hoping to close her mind to the fact that if she moved a few inches more, she could be dead in a minute. She felt John move; he put her hands on what she distinguished as his shoulders, and felt his thighs against her knee.

"Open them." He said, and she did; slowly.

"It's just vertigo. The word sound scarier than what it really is, relax." He assured her smiling. Her guts were crippled to death, and even if a car came right in front of her eyes, she would not move out of its way.

"Someday John…and I mean it…I'll kill you." She threatened, through clenched teeth.

"I'll get you first sweetheart." He grinned. Her eyes lifted upwards, then downwards again, her pupils trembling from the sight. John pulled her closer to him; she gasped in fear.

"John! What are you doing? We're gonna fall!" she cried, still struggling against him.

"We will only if you don't stop moving."

So she stopped.

"There. Good girl."

"Don't use that type of talk with me." She scorned and he smiled in a way that said he knew she was going to say something of that sort. The silence then settled, occasionally interrupted by the whistling of the wind; from their altitude, they could not even hear the noise of the cars down beneath them.

"Now's the moment you say something romantic, then we kiss, then someone walks in on us and we blush like teenagers." She said.

"Something _romantic_…" he cleared his throat, and Gage smiled, waiting for the most absurd and outlandish and surely funniest speech ever heard. John inhaled deeply and took her hand.

"Roses are red, violets are blue…" he paused looking down at the ground, and Gage giggled lightly.

"Don't laugh at me woman! I'm trying." He whined, and Gage tried to supress her laughter.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, Gage… _I love you_."

…

The collapse of the World Trade Center was a prank compared to the drop of her heart down to her stomach. Gage, for a moment she suspected had lasted a year, stopped breathing, her eyes glued to John's, her heart restarted beating in her ears. Her ears reddened from shock, or probable anger, and her throat went dry like a desert. The despair in her countenance, did not match John's relaxed one. He breathed normally, his face was not flushed; not a vein pulsated in the base of his neck.

"Breathe." He said. "I was…_joking_."

_**0°°0**_

The night dragged on for centuries, and Gage, though shaken by her seducer, recovered from the attack of his words. She even chuckled, and laughed with him at the humourless joke, as if it had not elicited any reaction from her. She was good at concealing her emotions; but was she good enough for one like John? Yes she was; she persuaded herself. Her charms were as active on him as they were on any other man, perhaps, even more. That way, the night went on at a snail's pace for both parties. They finished dining, and drove back to the hotel in a flat silence, as they walked up to John's room, Gage said.

"I'll tell you goodnight now." She whispered while they stood in front of his door. John frowned.

"I was hoping to make the end of this night…a trifle more…_interesting_." He cocked his head to the side.

"I wish, but you have a big day tomorrow."

"Precisely." He said, pulling her by the waist. "I'll have a big day tomorrow, by the end of which, I'll return dog-tired and won't be able to do all the things I can do _now_." He said, his lips delicately brushing against the end of her earlobe.

"John, your job is more important than assuaging your hungry caprices." She said as her knees lost stability.

"I'm…the…_only_ judge…" he kissed her neck gently, his hands cupping her butt cheeks through the silk. Gage joined her mouth to his, and kissed John heatedly, adrenaline still pulsating in her blood, and desire unfolding deep down in her belly. The firework of lust went off once more and the more entangled the more it multiplied.

"Inside." She moaned against his mouth.

"Inside _you_." He retorted and she giggled pulling back during a safe second. She searched his pockets for his key and turned to slide in, her back to his front. She heard steps from the other end of the corridor, so she urged on, but John's hard body distracted her from small space meant to slide the card in. However, she succeeded and they stumbled into the room, and locked the door; twice. John went for her dress immediately, she climbed out of her shoes.

"No; keep them on." He pleaded breathlessly, unzipping her dress from behind. He kissed her neck in his usual tender yet rough manner only he could. The cure for AIDS could have lay in John's lips as he leisurely dragged them down her collar and pulled down the silky material down her waist before it pooled at her feet. There was something in his lips; like a poison, an injection of ecstasy, desire, mixed with some illicit, and unknown drug that rendered her as hopeless as the sunken wreck of a ship in the middle of the ocean. The light in the room, or the arrangement of the desks and bed, or the fact that the moon peered at the window as always, did not matter to them, and so will not matter to you readers. John grabbed her thighs and crossed her legs behind his back and carried her to the bed, while his lips remained in the intense, savage lock of their wet kisses.

"Let me take this off." She whispered, her voice raspy with desire. She did not care for buttons and tore open his black shirt, John looked at her in disbelief.

"I should wear more shirts." he smiled and she smiled as well. John looked down at her body, his eyes flickering with malice as he noticed the black lacy straps of her underwear.

"I can die a happy man now."

"Wait until I'm done with you." She said urgently. The blues that had arisen earlier that night had vanished by the time they had ripped each other's clothes. John and Gage were back inside the safe cocoon of each other's touch.

"Come here." He whispered, grabbing her wrists and pinning her beneath him, Gage looked up queerly at him.

"I told you, tonight was going to be different…" he said, tangling his hands into her hair. He began kissing her ear softly, while massaging her scalp. She let him kiss her tenderly with a strange conviction; John's warm hands untied the knots of her tiny lingerie, leaving her garters intact. His lips parted from her skin as he looked down at her thighs on either sides of him. Gage watched him as he grabbed it by the base in his large hand, running his thumb up and down the porcelain flesh.

"Will you get to it? I'm agonising here…" she pleaded and she heard a low chuckled. His mouth then came between her breasts, the presence of his lips there; made her nipples elongate in anticipation of what was coming. She moaned lowly, the release ahead comforting her. He pulled down the straps of her bra and freed her of the material; her breasts swelled even more from the exposure. She closed her eyes and felt his mouth on them; kissing around her nipple, round, round, again and again, yet never touching the sensible and clearly ready nervous ends.

"John…"

"…shh…"

He continued his course downwards, frustratingly slowly. His tongue swiftly twirling at its ease in every corner and stopping whenever it desired, at the peril of her satisfaction. He'd undressed her completely, apart from her garter and her shoes, she couldn't have looked more appealing and needy than she did at that moment yet he did nothing except caressing and kissing her on the harmless spots that only built up her anticipation. He was now at her navel, his tongue gently caressing the skin there as his hands pressed her to the bed by her hips. She moaned and arched her back as she expected him to continue downwards. She'd grown to be fond of him kissing her _there_, and now more than ever, she wanted him to. He stopped and leaned up.

"John!" she whined, opening her eyes. Though her vision was blurry, she could feel his upper body completely on top of hers.

"I-"

He sealed his lips to hers roughly, engulfing her cries into his mouth. She tried to pull away from him but he wouldn't let her, and the yearning, wild between her legs, obliged her to take what she got. So she kissed him back, with the same violence as he did her. Using her tongue as a sword, that sadistically wounded his. She felt his erection, hard and strong against her inner thigh and crossed her legs behind his back to trap him. He caught her legs behind him and uncrossed them, she gasped.

"John; please!"

"Yeah?"

She nodded and he kissed her fiercely again.

"Tell me you want me!" he growled as he bucked his hips, grinding his erection against her wet flesh.

"I _want_ you!" she cried, and the corners of his mouth lifted. In one hasty move, he pounded into her. She arched her back to receive his full length and gasped for air, the invasion was abrupt and yet…so welcome. John thrusted in her slowly, almost as if relief washed over him as well.

"Yes…" she moaned in his neck. She did not recall ever being so grateful to be fucked, she cling to John's arms with all the power and will in her. His pace quickened, making the bed shake. Warm breaths and moans decorated the atmosphere in the room, where the moon was shining bright. John slowed down again, breaking the pace.

"John! Faster!"

She moaned, but he silenced her again with his lips, swallowing down all her anguish. Despite his slow pace, her orgasm was mounting, coming to life, bright and strong. She gripped the sheets, but he put his right hand in her left, intertwining their fingers tightly. Gage opened her eyes for a few seconds, and saw his face. His sculptured face and serene face was distorted by the torment of lust and desire, his lips were red with blood, and his eyes…those eyes…had there been such eyes before, not a single woman would be standing straight when faced to them, and they were intently locked into hers now; watching the pleasure drain on her face, the relief, the torture as he slowed down. She felt exposed. Gage blinked and looked away, but he grabbed her chin and forced her face back to his. He continued to thrust again in her, faster than before but still slowly; the desire shooting up again immediately. His other hand went down to her thigh again, and his other massaged her scalp again.

"John…faster…please…" she begged, her arms clinging to his shoulders desperately.

"Tell me you need me Gigi…" he murmured against her ear and its was not quite the sensation that sent shivers down her spine, but his words. But she was compelled, her body was making a call, incessantly, and there was no way her ego would make her refuse. In such occasions, she could do anything he wanted, and he knew it.

"I _need_ you John…"

With such simple words, he liberated her, and slowly regained a normal pace, making the pleasure shoot up in a rush. It was like an earthquake, starting from the crust, then through the mantle then out of the surface of her body. The world could have been burning outside, people rioting, meteors landing on buildings, yet nothing could have disrupted the intensity of this moment. Gage gripped John tighter, her legs locking him between, and he pinned her by her hands against the bed. They were going to come; together.

"Let's go baby…" he murmured against her lips. It was all the boost she needed. He bucked his hips hard between her legs, and she felt his length widen in her very core.

"John! Oh god!"

They say the road to hell was paved with good intentions, but Gage and John, so was the road to heaven. That night, they had done in act what John had said in words. Unbeknownst to their consciences, they had become more than lovers, more than friends and more than what any human relation could put into words. They were like the rock beneath the soil, eternal, and unchanging. They did not know it yet, but time, events, would never succeed to change what they would share. They say nothing good comes out of adultery…


	23. Chapter 23

**Thank you Kings of Leon- On Call.**

Dewy light forced her eyelids open, and the noises from the outside world slowly crept into her mind. She stirred lightly, moaning and sighing from the lately rouse. Gage finally opened her eyes and tried to move but she was caged into something heavy and strong, she looked down and saw an arm wrapped around her waist, but the real surprise was seeing hers wrapped around another.

"…Ground-breaking…" she sighed sarcastically.

John slumbered besides her, an arm wrapped around her shoulder and hers was on his waist. She blinked the blur out of her eyes, and looked up; her head was on his chest. Gage stood up abruptly and shaking his arm away from her and John stirred and finally woke up.

"Goo' mornin'."

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I was actually baking a pie right now…what d'you think?"

"You slept in my bed again!"

"I thought we'd agreed on this! Where's the problem?"

"You didn't ask for my permission!" Gage moved out of the sheets and stood up. "What am I doing with t_hese_ on?" she exclaimed looking down at the pair of black stockings that came up to her thighs. John chuckled.

"Do you have anything to do with this?" she smirked.

"I sure as hell hope so!" he laughed sitting up. "The last time I got as drunk as you were last night, I woke up wearing a pink wig. You should consider yourself lucky."

Gage rolled her eyes and walked up to the end of the room, where a purple satin robe had been thrown on the floor. Her legs were somehow shaky as she walked then she bent down to pick it up, John whistled a 'pfiou', which she ignored and then tied the material around herself.

"Take that smirk off your face John." She snapped but he blatantly ignored her request and smiled even wider.

"What r' you mad for? We had a great night!"

"It's got nothing to do with that. I don't like to wake up in the morning, trapped in …the bear… _hug_."

"Well, you should. Lots of women would _love_ to." He said emphasizing the 'l' as he said it. The remark displeased her so much it made her turn around. It was one of these female instincts that acted upon her without her consent and forced themselves out. She went over to the bed and grabbed a pillow, flung it harshly to his face.

"Don't…you! Tell! Me! That! Ever! Again!" she hissed between every blow of the pillow that made his laughter grow louder. He grabbed it and threw it away.

"You're a dreadful morning person Gage! Dreadful! You should change!" he snarled laughingly, she replied by a muffled insult and moved to the kitchen area of the suite. John stood from bed; naked and went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, she'd made coffee and some toasts for herself and looked down at her watch.

"Don't you have a meeting at ten today?" she yelled to him and he replied a 'yeah' that was barely audible over the sound of the water rushing down in the shower.

"Well…you should hurry, cuz you're already ten minutes late! Johnny!" she chuckled. He rushed out of the bathroom still soaking wet and a towel around his waist and got dressed as fast as he could.

"_Shit!_ Steph is gonna be fuming...more than usual. _Shit!_" Gage sat on one of the bar stools as she sipped a hot chocolate. He wore the clothes from the eve and grabbed the rest of his stuff.

"You can leave them here, I'll take them to your room later."

"Thanks, here's my key card. There shouldn't be anyone from my floor, they're all at the arena I suppose."

"I'll be careful. Have a toast at least, or some coffee or you'll feel ill at about noon." She threw the coffee into a thermos bottle.

"Thanks." He grabbed the bottle and _smiled_ as he looked down at her with a hint of pride and thankfulness.

"Not a word please."

"Okay."

John leaned down and kissed her surprisingly. A little peck on her lips, that said all the words she did not want to hear from him, not because they were not wanted, but because they were dreaded. She kissed him back to her great disbelief; she simply couldn't resist him and to save herself from further questioning, she asked herself 'who would?'. She broke away from him, putting her hand on his chest, but he leaned down again but his lips touched the skin of her cheek. And even there; they still acted with the same devastating magic.

"Nice day."

"Nice day Johnny."

Everyone should've noticed it; John's late arrivals at meetings, the disinterested look in his eyes when he was given his script, the way he simply waved at people in the hallways, and the way he grabbed his duffel bag and went straight to his hotel room without saying goodbye.

"…Then AJ, you will run into the ring and push John off the ladder. John you'll land on the ropes and roll off the ring. Okay?"

"Is that _okay_ with you John?" _John_ are you listening?"

"Ya! Sure, it's fine with me." He looked up abruptly.

The meeting proceeded and Randy eyed John until the end of it. He didn't say a word during the entire meeting; no remarks, no objections, when usually, he always had something to add. Randy's eyebrows furrowed, as he noticed the way his friend tapped his foot nervously and played with his fingers beneath the table. An hour later, they were released, and he stopped him in the parking lot.

"Yo John!"

"Yeah." He turned as they entered the parking lot.

"We're gonna see the _Déjà Vu _Showgirls." Randy smirked.

"We've gotta be in Sacramento tomorrow evening, and you know I ride."

"You still haven't told me why?"

"I need some…alone time." John scratched the back of his head. Randy's eyebrows shut up in a 'really' kind of way'. He looked sideways and walked closer to John.

"You didn't…bring _her_ along did you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The _girl_ dammit!" He hissed through his teeth so the echo in the underground parking wouldn't make his voice too loud.

"If she was with me, you'd know." He replied reassuringly, patting his shoulder before he started walking away.

"Where' you going?"

"To…my rental car may be? Look, you should stop being so paranoid, its not good for your tan. I'll see you around." He hissed as he walked to the black Jeep.

"Sure you will!" Randy snarled lowly, not loud enough for John to hear, but someone else heard; someone who hadn't meant to be there, who'd had no intention to walk in on their discussion.

"Hello! Bess?"

"_Yes who is that_?"

"It's Cole! You'll never believe what I just saw!"

"_Is that why you call at such a time? It could've waited until tomorrow_!"

"It's a big one this time! I swear!"

"_We'll discuss it tomorrow okay! Night!"_

"Bess it's about Jo-' He looked down at the phone, but Bess had hung up. "Shit!"

"Wow!"

Gage exclaimed as John burst into the room. He threw his duffel bag on the floor without throwing a glance at her; his eyebrows were furrowed and his jawbones tensed. He stormed to the kitchen area and she heard noise of glass, liquid pouring and ice shattering. She wanted to bring her legs to her chest, lean back against the smooth pillow beneath her and proceed with her reading, but her eyes stared down at the page, while her mind followed the man in the room intently, with every noise he made. Through her glasses, she peaked at him and what she saw made her heart turn in her chest; she finally decided to speak up.

"John?"

Nothing.

"Are you okay?"

Still no reply.

"Fine. As you wish." She concluded. A few seconds later, she heard a bitter laughter from the kitchen area.

"You see that's _precisely_ the problem with you Gage."

She looked up from the page she hadn't turned for the last five minutes. John walked to the bed in front of her.

"You don't give a _shit_ about anyone except…_you_!" he pointed. Gage's eyes narrowed around the glass of whisky in his hand, he took a sip then another, and when it was empty he murmured a 'shit' and dropped it on the floor.

"D'you hear me Gigi?"

"I heard you John." She replied silently, closing her book and putting it on the bed stand.

"How many glasses have you had?" she added, sincerely not shocked by his accusation, she knew better _not_ to hold most people responsible for what they say when they're sloshed.

"Tonight _or_ just…right now?"

"Tonight?"

"I stopped counting when the bartender brought the bottle." He chuckled drunkenly. "Do you want some?"

"No thanks. Once was enough for me, how did you get back?"

"Taxi." He fell onto his back on the bed.

"Wise."

"I left your car in the parking lot of the arena but I _promise_ you, I'll go get your car tomorrow… I _promise_ you Gigi." He said lowly, almost with pity. "I _promise_ you." He repeated.

"It's okay, don't worry about it."

"NO!" he shouted sitting upright. "NO! It's _your_ car! _I_ will go get it for you!"

"Okay…okay…" she said calmly and he fell back. She crawled next to him on the bed. His eyes starred blankly at the ceiling, putting her hand tentatively on his chest, she started up and down movements.

"It's _your_ car Gigi…" he repeated. "I'll go get it for ya…"

"You'll go get it for me." She smiled reassuringly and he smiled too.

"That's if you want me to." He added.

"Hum…yes. I do."

"Are you sure? Won't you have Jaworski get it for you instead?"

"No John, I want _you_ to go get my car, and not Nick." She certified, having concluded that his mental state did not permit him to think any further.

"You know…I really hate it when you call him _Nick_." He murmured, grabbing her hand smoothly.

"What should I call him then?"

"Turd…Turdface." He chuckled.

"But he's my friend. It wouldn't be nice at all." She chuckled; speaking as though as she cradling a child to bed.

"I don't think he'll stand being _just _your friend. He wants you, badly, it's there in his eyes."

"I've never seen it."

"That's cuz you don't pay attention…because _you_ want _me_." He winked, his hand tugging down onto a strand of her hair. "I've always wanted you Gigi… from the beginning. Ya' know, when I saw you shouting at your movers… you already had me… even then…even then."

"I know."

"Did you? How?"

"It was in your eyes." They laughed together.

"You're amazing."

"And you're drunk again. Keep going and you'll turn into a real blotto. I'm really a bad influence…in every domain."

"I mean it Gigi; you're really, very amazing." He sat up again. "You know…it's just so hard to know what you think sometimes. You never complain, you never cry, you never want anything, it's difficult for me to please you if I don't know what you want!"

"You give me everything I want John, don't worry." She soothed his hair and he closed his eyes momentarily as if the gesture had brought onto him some soberness.

"But you _must_ have a goal in life right?" he furrowed his eyebrows. Gage surveyed her mind rapidly, scanning through her thoughts to answer his question, and to her greatest disappointment, she could not find an answer.

"I've realised my dream a long time ago John. One year ago, I had nothing and now…now I have _everything_ I've always desired."

"But you _must_ want something more right Gigi? It can't be enough for you Gigi!"

"I also have _you_."

The words had sounded ill in her bitter mouth; so much that John had heard from them the honesty they lacked.

"Are you sure?" he replied, inclining his head. "Randy's being suspicious about us; and me and Liz…we just don't…" he paused and looked at the ground, his eyes wide like the words he prepared to say had chattered into a million pieces on the carpet. "You're so-so-so…I hate to have to hide when I'm with you, and I…I…I'

"John, please don't say anymore." She objected holding his hand as he held her face. "You need to sleep, you'll feel better tomorrow."

"No…no I won't!" he hissed. "I-I wish I wasn't married to her Gigi…I wish I wasn't MARRIED at all. Why did I marry her?"

"No! no! John, don't say that! You _love _Liz remember? You _love_ her! She's sweet and nice _and_ adorable and that's what you deserve okay? Your life is perfect John, you should be happy." She reassured him, making little slaps on the side of his face to wake him to the absurdity in his words, but his eyes glimmered with sorrow, as if her words had disclosed something his mind had buried.

"If my life were so perfect, I wouldn't need you."

"You don't need me, at all John, I'm the one who needs you."

"I do, I need you Gigi. Everyday since two weeks, all I want is come back to my hotel room and make love to you- you know, like we did last night- I know a man shouldn't say such things, but –" he paused and licked his lips. "- Putting my hands on you; touching your skin and smelling your hair…kissing your lips-' His hands accompanied every word said and yenning for his drunken tenderness- because even intoxicated, his affection was the tenderest; an avid passion more intense than anyone else' sober one; than anything she'd known- she abandoned herself into his touch. "- If there one thing I truly love to do; it is that."

"Oh god." She closed her eyes, and paused. "John, you're drunk, now's not the time for this-'

"There isn't a better time than _now_."

He seemed determined, and the way he'd put his hand on her thigh, indicated he had no intention to back down. Gage looked away, wondering when the situation had gotten out of hand; He took her chin and kissed her mouth chastely. She looked up into his blue eyes and the familiar blue hue of sincerity shimmered into those pupils again.

"John…"

"You're beautiful." He said sadly.

She winced and looked away, like the words wounded her. They broke her heart really, if ever she had grown one, but you cannot put words onto your emotions as they course through you, you don't have the cognitive capacity necessary for that at that moment. It is only when they die down or as they leave you momentarily that the brain restarts to make one with your body again.

"No I'm not. And I would like you never to repeat what you said."

"You are." He grabbed her arm as he stood. He took her to the bathroom, in front of the mirror. He seemed incredibly sober for a drunk yet the zigzags as he walked and the amplitude of his voice betrayed him. He made her stand in front of the mirror, as stood besides her.

"Look at that." He pointed at the reflection. "Don't you think she is beautiful?" he said. "Look at that beautiful red crown of hair." He chuckled, his fingers running into her red locks. "Look at that flawless skin, and that face; that face; those eyes, and that mouth, my _god_ what a mouth! Look at the way that upper lip curls, you wouldn't believe the things it's done to me." He joked.

"I think I have a clue." She giggled.

"And that smile." He sounded like he was concluding; he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and put his head against hers. "I could continue with every centimetre of your delectable body." He said as kissed her neck.

"John, stop."

"Stop what?"

"You can't tell me all these things and mean them John."

"You really think I could lie t' you? After all we've done, even if I wanted to…"

"This is it John; _this _is all we get, we'll have to keep hiding, and keep secrets, you'll have to keep lying, I am sorry, but if you want this to go on, you'll have to get a grip or-" She said sternly.

"_Or _…" he continued.

"We can still cut this affair short, anytime you're not stuck with me."

"Don't you even consider it!" he hissed now.

"Well then, get a grip and stop whining!" she stood and stormed back into the bedroom. John followed her, and as she turned around, he grabbed her by the waist and the back of her head and brought her gently to him.

"I'm sorry." He murmured against her ear. "I'm fucking up; hard these days."

"Happens." She murmured in his chest. There was nothing alien to his embrace. While her head rested in the crook of his neck, she could feel his slow pulse mirrored by the beating of his heart, she closed her eyes and put her arms around him too.

"Promise me one thing Johnny."

"Anything."

"Never leave Liz; _never._ 'Cause if you do…'

His pulse sped, and she felt it against her forehead, and so did his heartbeat.

"…We'll be over too." He finished and she nodded. He took a deep breath and exhaled. "I promise."

"_You didn't bring her along did you?"_

"_What 'r you talking about?"_

"_The girl dammit!"_

"_If she was with me, you'd know."_

"And that's it?"

"Well yeah!"

"We can't write an article based on some three seconds conversation! You'll have to find something better than that Cole!"

"But it's clear isn't it?"

"We need is something solid."

"Like a picture?"

"Lots of pictures. Now don't bother me anymore unless you get me a picture of John Cena and his ghost mistress dammit!"

The road out of Las Vegas was dry and dusty. The retractable roof was pulled down and she'd left _Hotel California_ play before they exchanged seats. They drove in a light silence, enjoying the scenery that paraded before their eyes. All was red sand, cactus and dying vegetation. They had pulled down their sunglasses on top of their eyes because of the dust in the wind.

"Where are we now?"

"Almost there, don't worry."

"I'm not, I think it's beautiful."

"It was a good idea to take your car, I hadn't had a road trip in a while."

"I always have good ideas Johnny." She smiled and he looked at her from the corner of his eyes. The road was empty, deserted; it felt to both as if they were the last people in the world. John turned on his GPS and typed an address.

"What are you doing?"

"There's something I'd like you to see." He said as he got the car out of the road. He drove in the grass; the car often bumping into a rock for the ground was unequal there.

"I knew you were psychopath." She chuckled. "Where are you taking me?"

"You'll like it, I promise."

He drove again for half an hour and Gage grew wearier. She felt the road smoothen as they arrived on a large sandy field. By the time they'd arrived, the sun was setting in the horizon far beyond them. John stopped the engine and climbed out of the car and smashed the door behind him. Gage's door opened and he extended his hand to help her out.

"How chivalrous." She said with fake sarcasm.

"Hold your tongue before you see what I need to show you Miss Gage." He said, keeping her hand as he dragged her into the sandy field. It was large, beyond what eye could see. John walked decidedly, like he knew his way around this huge desert. Gage stared down at her hand in his and goose bumps crawled up her arm. They reached a barrier, with an old sign "No Trespassing" that was held up by an iron thread probably as old as she was.

"What is this?"

"An aircraft graveyard."

"Why did you bring me here? So you are a psychopath."

"It's not just _any_ aircraft graveyard. Come you'll see what I mean." He dragged her again. She took off her shades and finally noticed the multiple vestiges of airplanes. Some were still whole, but others were in pieces, like ship wrecked. Several had their wings- or however they were called- dispatched from the rest of the plane. They were aligned in long endless rows; an authentic graveyard. John brought her closer to one. It was not broken or dispatched. The light from the sun stopped her from seeing the delicate pattern of paint on either sides of the plane…on its entirety.

"Oh my…" she gasped. She looked at the huge dead engine, once powerful, flying in the sky, now a wreck. But at the front, there were Zebra patterns, with a shark's face drawn on the front, then to the side, she observed other colourful patterns with eyes and other lines. It was a bigger than life graffiti, and the likelihood with reality was so visible it made it look alive.

"Awesome huh?"

"It's amazing."

"I know you're not a graffiti person, but I thought you'd like it."

"And I do. I…I really do." She said.

"Look, there's another one over there." He pointed with his finger, and they moved to another plane. This time; an eagle was drawn on its front, and two skulls on both wings.

"This is exquisite work." She traced the pattern with her fingers. "How did you find this place?"

"Curiosity." He shrugged. "I like to explore." He grinned a kinky grin.

"I know." She replied.

They walked in the sand again for an hour or so, kissing occasionally in the open air and exploring the interiors of the broken planes. The sun continued its course downwards and after they had seen everything to see, they returned to the car.

"Look, it's the happy hour." She smiled. "Nicholas would kill to be here." She pointed to the fading orange light far beyond.

"But he isn't." John said.

"It's beautiful." She said, hypnotized by the panoramic view. The high steep hills and cliffs that separated to leave space for the sun far beyond to come down, and the cactus surrounded by the little high herbs and moss. She felt herself fill with something unusual, it almost sent her on the brink of tears. Her chest tightened, and her heart rate fastened.

"You're the first person I bring here Gigi, to me this is like Treasure Island. Like a piece of the world, that is…not really part of the world anymore, you know?"

"I see exactly what you mean."

John gripped her hand tighter in his and there was a tug in her chest. She pursed her eyes when he looked at the view of the canyon before them.

"Thank you for bringing me here even though I'm not sure why."

"You said we were disrupting the rules right?" he asked and it was not really a question. He climbed on the hood of the Jeep and pulled her to him so she was leaning against it, between his legs.

"I'm glad you're here." He said as he leaned down against her cheek. Goose bumps sprawled on her arms again; he noticed, because he encircled her with his arms.

"Hum…Thanks." She smiled. No matter what how much she tried, she couldn't relax in front of such tender gesture. This was tender and romantic John, the one who put her in a four fold with only his smile and the one who made her heart make pirouettes and front flips. When he was this way, she felt herself shy under his gaze, fragile in his arms, like a teenage girl who had a crush. Instincts she'd never felt before rose in her; she wanted to be kind to him, to take care of him, to be sweet and charming and not the ice-cold disguise, which had so well become part of her. But she'd never let herself, he didn't have to see her like that, simply because he didn't have to know…everything would be less complicated.

"You know Gigi, there's something about you…that makes me feel different." He murmured in her ears. He couldn't have heard her think, could his spirit be listening to hers?

"Different?"

"Yes, very. I'm another man."

"Good or bad?"

"It's not all just black or white in life you know. I can't tell. All I know is that it's a part of me now, whether I like it or not." He said as his hands started playing with her hair. "Do you feel different? Has anything changed for you?"

Gage remained thoughtful for a second. All that has happened over the last month; sleeping with John- multiple times- the exposition, Nicholas, Liz, being on the road with him, dinner in fancy restaurants with panoramic views, visiting aircraft graveyards, talking, getting personal... It was all-real, so ultimately, it would end soon. There was a precipice, so gigantic and profound that darkness emerged from its pit, and there was no way she would venture herself close to it.

"No." she paused. "Nothing has changed for me."

**A/N:**** My very sincere apologies for not updating soon enough, I'm working on the book version of The Adultery of John, and there's lot of work to be done. Thank you for the last reviews guys, I work hard to give you chapters that are better than the last, and I thank you for appreciating them.**

**Our lovebirds have gone on the Highway of love, but sshh, they don't know it yet. Problems ahead, darkening the horizon, can true be born out of this relationship? Xxx MJ.**


	24. Chapter 24

America…a country, with too-specific a nature to be clearly defined; there was something truly unique about it; something like vanilla in the air when the wind blew and within the following weeks, Gage had seen more of America than the American himself. She had explored the plains of Montana and Idaho, the miles of green pasture extending out to infinity before her eyes so full of wonder and ignorance. Smelled those fresh and alien scents of green grass and leaves in the air. She was delightfully surprised to see such splendid places; beyond the Starbucks and Wal-Marts, McDonald's and Wendy's, American Apparel shops and all that, she sensed from these deserted areas of their country a real feel of her American experience. What was beneath the surface, so long as you took the effort to scrap it and suddenly, she had figured everything out; one has to look beneath the shell to enjoy this country: the beauty of the plains is only visible compared to the superimposed skyscrapers; the forest suddenly seems greener and more alive than the trees in the parks to a point where they seem to have facial expressions and flowers seem to blossom at the speed of light releasing a perfume which seemed unique every time you inhaled. She had never seen so much contrast between what was man-made and God-given; this was her America, the one she wished everyone could see.

°°°00°°°

"One more week to go." John said, but Gage, with her head on the window and her headphones on, did not pay attention. "Gigi…"

"Yeah."

"Are you happy to head back home?"

"Hmm."

"I'll actually miss the road this time." He added.

"Oh." She murmured looking out the window.

"Had any trouble sleeping again?"

"Yeah, again. T'was the third time this week." She sighed.

"I'll check if you can see a doctor in Maine."

"Not yet. I'll see a doctor when we'll be back."

"Did you have any problems like these before?"

"Yeah; couple of years ago…"

John looked momentarily away from the road; she sat with her legs in her chest and her head leaned against the window, seeming distant; away. He removed his hand from the wheel and rubbed her shoulder lightly. He felt her cold hand rub his in response and she leaned down on it lightly. Her neck was hot.

"Are you okay?" he asked and she nodded automatically, so he pulled over.

"What's going on?"

"I'm worried about you." He said, putting his hand on her neck and her forehead, both were burning.

"John, stop please. We just have one week to go."

He took her wrists and looked down at her arms and shoulders. Nothing had changed about her, but on her face, he could see the apparent lack of sleep in the way her lids covered her eyes.

"I'm okay John. I'm just a little tired, that's all."

"You look more than _just_ tired to me. Did you eat anything this morning; your lips are dry."

"They are?" she asked, lightly touching her bottom lip. She looked at the rear view mirror and touched her hair. "I look like hell's just got down on me. _Shoot_!"

"That's more like it." He chuckled. "We should stop somewhere and get you something to bite."

"I already _have_ something to bite." She smirked.

"Huh huh food first. Do you mind if we stop by a gas station? Unfortunately, I don't think we can find a restaurant within four miles."

"Of course. I don't see why I wouldn't."

"Well…it'll probably be junk food; at best a sandwich."

"Okay!"

"Nothing really good, but at you need to eat something."

"And…I don't see your point."

John turned on the engine and put his hand on the steering wheel. "Nevermind…"

"What did you mean?"

"Well, grabbing something at the gas station to eat is not really the most…you know!"

"Most _what_?"

"I wish there were a nicer place around here...but we're in the gut of fucking North Dakota."

"Oh John…" Gage put her hand on her mouth to stop her from laughing. "You're seriously stressing over junk food? It's just _food_."

"I was only trying to be considerate; I know how much you like eating a real meal with starters, deserts and all that. I'm fine with a pizza and beer and-'

"And I'm fine with pizza and beer too John, look we don't have to put the white tablecloth and silver cutlery crap every night! I just like the elegance in a good meal but I have nothing against pizza."

"But since it's _your_ thing I don't see why we shouldn't. I _can_ give you that every night if you want."

"It is, but it doesn't mean we have to do it every night! We can do it your way too and go for pizza and beer." She paused "I'll still ride you senseless when you get back from work." She giggled and he chuckled.

"But I want us to do it _your_ way. "

"Enough! Tonight it's pizza and beer and this is it!"

"Fine." He grumbled.

"Fine." She acquiesced.

Silence fell upon both as he drove on.

"John; did we just have a…_fight_?"

"You snapped at me, what d'you think it sounded like stupid woman?"

"Now it's the sexist insults."

"Let me not get started on red head jokes."

"Cuz you're sure I'm _really_ a red hair?" she raised her eyebrow and John frowned.

"If you aren't a red head what's your real colour then? He asked and Gage just smirked looking away. "Damn females for duping us."

°°00°°

They reached a motel an hour later, right on the side of the road called 'Joe Davis's Den' and booked a room for a night. The building looked old enough to have known the time of Lincoln; there were cracks in the faded green walls and frost on all the furniture; on the walls were displayed several cheap paintings that were placed in an attempt to make the place more 'cheerful'. An old and grumpy man was at the reception and gave them their room keys with no great concern to whether they would burn this place down or even rub him on the spot. 'T'is tha one on your left. Seven."

"There's no seven on the left."

"I meant the _other_ left." He waved his hand lazily as he lit his pipe. John shook his head and opened the door to their room.

"At least there's a TV."

The tiny room had brick red curtains drawn, a disgusting old green carpet, and the oldest night stand with a 'sumptuous' 1946 lamp green lamp on top of it. 'Vintage furniture you'll never find in whatever forsaken shanty town ya' com from.' The man had said.

"John, you should call the cops."

"Why?"

"I'm probably gonna find a corpse in the bathroom. He mentioned breakfast was offered, are you even sure there _is_ a cook? Man's gonna drug us and sell our organs to Russian Mafia!" Gage joked tacitly dropping her bag on the floor.

"Let's look at the bright side of it. Tomorrow we're gone." He said, grabbing her face into a small kiss.

"Yeah."

Gage held his hand onto her a bit longer after they pulled away. For a strange reason, she loved the feel of his skin on hers, the way they seemed complementary. They had found a small fast food where they bought enough hamburgers to last until the next day and plenty of booze. After they had showered, they sat at the foot of the bed and ate while watching _Georgia Rule_.

"Is it me or these hamburgers are amazing?" Gage said, taking a solid bite of hers.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"You're only trying to make it clear you're okay for pizza and beer." He replied, staring fixedly at the screen.

"Which is _true_!"

"Look Gage, I make something close to five million dollars a year. Taking you to chic places is _not_ out of my radar."

"I never said it was."

"I want you to _know_ I have the means to give you _anything_ you want. Whatever you want, hell, I won't even look at the price tag."

"I got it John."

"It's simply an exceptional situation."

"John, there's nothing wrong with this place. We have a bed, and you know to me that's all that matters." She said leaning closer and kissing his neck.

"I love how sex is your answer to everything woman." He teased. "I wish all women were like you." He moaned as she bit his ear.

"I'd have too much competition over you and I refuse to fight over a man." She nipped his earlobe and caressed his torso.

"Isn't it what you're doing?" John answered. "Fighting over me."

"It would be if I wanted you to divorce Liz, but since that's not the case…"

"And I thank you for that."

"Why?"

"Cuz you'd get me to do _anything_ Gigi. I haven't known you too long, but for all I know and how far you've brought me, I think it can only get worse."

"Don't worry Sir, my intentions are noble." She continued to chew his earlobe while her hand crawled up his lap; to his zipper.

"Slow down there, you need to finish eating first, then we'll have sex. I don't like you looking pale and ill." John said, taking her hand off his lap, calming his own growing erection.

"So bossy." She whined.

"Eat."

"Yes _sir_." She capitulated.

John's phone rang in the middle of the movie, at the part where Lindsey Lohan tells to whoever would like to know that her step dad had raped her while her mother was alcoholic. John and Liz discussed for long minutes and as usual, Liz did most of the discussing and John simply added occasional 'Yeah right' 'Great' and 'okay'. Gage listened to their conversation, as John didn't make it a point to hide anything from her; there was nothing apparently _wrong_ with their marriage except the gap in maturity and the difference in taste in almost…everything. To Gage, it seemed John was married to a stranger who would never get to know him and whom he would never love. Love was impossible in this marriage, and Gage knew as much as John and Liz ignored it. But she offered him an alternative; a way to be happy instead of letting him suffocate in his _ménage_; she knew she wasn't The Good Samaritan, but she also knew Liz and all her aloofness, would never satisfy a man like John- someone who had so much to offer- until the 'end of times' or was it 'until they lived happily ever after'? It was simply too big of a waste.

"Jesus." John breathed. "She got herself a puppy, she named it _Mocha_ and she also sent me a picture." He added, looking down at the screen.

"Oww." They both moaned grumpily.

They watched the movie in silence, except that Gage did not stop complaining saying it was 'lame' and how Lindsey Loan's mother is 'a mess of a mother' but in the end Gage always added 'not that I would know what a good mother is'.

"Can we just finish watching? What's so _wrong_ about this movie anyway?" John asked.

"It's…" she paused "I feel like I'm her!"

"Who? Lindsey Lohan?" John chuckled.

"The character dumbass. Look at her life; it's mine only worse…or better depends."

"Gigi, it's just a movie."

"I already know the end. Her step dad did rape her, her mother will know, she'll leave the bastard and they're gonna run into each other's arms, the farm boy is going to propose her and granny is going to be happy. Voila!"

"Damn, you should've let me pick _Casablanca_." He joked but she glared at him. "Come on, spill. Is there anything on your mind?"

"It's her birthday; she would be my age today; twenty five. Looking beautiful, on the arm of another dashing boyfriend, rich and happy. But she's dead; somewhere in a morgue, with all the junkies and the whores John." She said. "I've seen this movie before, and every time I do, I remember that I didn't have the chance to reconcile with her, make amends, and tell her for once that I…"

"Gigi…"

"That I _hated_ what she had let me become."

"That's why you haven't been able to sleep these days? It was because of your mother's death?" he asked and she nodded. John moved closer to her, and tried to put his arms around her.

"No hugging please. I can't."

"Okay." He put his hand on her thigh. "Gigi, you have to stop eating yourself up. You should be proud of yourself and of everything you've accomplished. I've told you this before; you're independent, and beautiful and free. I'd kill to have what you have! Anyone would. And about your mother, you told me once that being a mother didn't entitle you to _love_ your child; it's wrong. When you become a mother, you stop being selfish because there's a life inside of you; it's the most beautiful thing in the world. Your mother was _selfish_, and spoiled and she didn't take enough care. She was a bad mother."

John had felt it coming to him as soon as he'd said the words. He had imagined the slap of a woman like her with tiny inefficient fists wouldn't hurt, but Gage's slap burned on his jaw like the hot iron.

"I forbid you!" she spat, throwing his hand off her thigh and storming to the bathroom.

"It's the truth! The sooner you accept it, the better Gigi!" he followed her into the bathroom and put his hand in the way when she wanted to shut it.

"You didn't _know_ her! How dare you? Who are _you_ to even have an opinion on _my_ life? You can't understand _anything_, you lived in your pretty world, with Prom and high school sweethearts, while I had to beg for a piece of bread! Earn my own money! You don't know what it is to get yourself out of the gutter because no one cares enough to help you!" she screamed trying to close the bathroom door with all her weight.

"I don't! You're right! But whose fault is it? She _left_ you baby! She didn't think about you when she cut her veins open! Did she? It's all because of _her_ that you had to hustle on your own! Cuz she was a coward and she _abandoned_ you!" he replied, and he felt the push on the door lighten.

"She didn't _abandon_ me." She said silently. "She just…got fed up with life."

"You don't get to be 'fed up with life' when you have a kid to raise." John pushed the door lightly and pulled Gage to him. "Not when you have a pretty little girl with big eyes who could call you 'Mommy'. Not when you have someone who cares enough for you to clean the mess you leave behind, who becomes successful and still tries not to hate you. Even now, you still find excuses for her cowardice. She didn't love you enough back then, but I'm sure wherever she is, she regrets letting you down."

"May be not." she murmured in his chest.

"She does. I'm positive. Do you know what else she'd regret?" he asked. He bent to carry her bridal style to the bed and lay her across his lap so her face rested on his shoulder. "I'm sure it pains Diana to see you this unhappy."

"I think she's rather happy about it. I can even imagine her, in hell, sitting quite close to Satan, jubilating every time I opened my pill box!"

"What pill box?" he frowned.

"Never mind."

"Gage. What pill. Box.?" He sounded aggravated.

"I used to…"

"Oh fuck no-" he interrupted. "You popped pills?"

"Don't act like it comes a surprise! I'm a painter, let me just remind you. And, it was a while ago, I'm clean and sober."

"When did you start?" he said, his tone a lot calmer while he smoothed her hair.

"When do you think?" she snapped. "I found her anti-depressants when the bank started taking our furniture, but they left her pills- there was a bunch of them- and suddenly, it was all I had. I wasn't a junkie, I took them only when I needed them, and when they got finished, I threw all the boxes in the trash and it was over. But then after that, I began filling the gap with sex- sex with married men- and sex has been working since."

"It hasn't been _working_ at all. You're only replacing an addiction by another. It's like moving the furniture in a house on fire."

Gage lifted her head off his shoulder and looked up at him.

"It all comes back to Freud; you need to forgive Diana, and get it together. Do something for yourself; find someone who'll make you happy. It pains me to say, but you need to stop the chase and begin to _live_, what you're doing right now, is justifying your life to your mother. You want her to know you're better than her, that you're not weak, and that you can make it without the love of a man."

Something in John's blue eyes had changed and they weren't so blue all of a sudden. They were dark blue, like the pit of the ocean.

"It all makes sense now Gigi." He smiled weakly.

"What are you saying?"

"You're…broken; inside of you. I knew it before, but I never thought it could also be the reason you were with me. I thought you were simply an overly attractive sex kitten and that you had decided to make me your prey of honour."

"Sex kitten huh?" she smiled, but his smile dropped, like he'd realized something that saddened him.

"I want you to promise me you'll start living your life Gigi, let someone love you and love them in return."

"You can't ask me such a thing." She frowned deeply, shifting in his lap.

"You made me promise I'd never leave Liz."

"But it's not the same thing, you're married to her!" she said, and he looked away as she said 'married'.

"Jaworski; you should give him a chance." He said cupping her neck; Gage stared at him in disbelief. "I've seen you two together, he knows where you come from and he's head over heels for you."

"John, this is going at too fast a pace for me. What are you talking about? What about you? About us? Don't you think it's hard enough to sneak behind Liz's back? What is it going to be with Nick in the picture?"

"We could end this too."

°00°

Gage had shrugged off his suggestion as you would shrug off a bad joke. She had got off his lap and slept on her side of the bed – because she tolerated his presence now- and while she slept, he woke up abruptly because he'd heard the bed crack lightly. He looked around and saw the lines of dust, spider webs in the corner of walls, the rust beneath the latrines…It sickened him to be in a place like this, but what was worse, was having Gage here. As soon as they got in Maine, he swore to take her to the most luxurious places and buy her whatever her heart wished. He looked down at her sleeping form; her glossy red hair shimmered in lamplight. It was the biggest cliché of the world, the man standing in the middle of the night to watch his lover sleep; John sat up against the bedstead- which eventually cracked when he leaned against it- he winced, hoping he didn't wake his lover.

John fished from his pockets his engagement ring and put it under the lamplight. He tried it on his finger, and then removed quickly. He had taken the habit of removing it when he was with Gage, not because of guilt towards Liz, but towards Gage. It was disrespectful to wear a ring that tied him to a woman like Liz; his own, to a woman like Gage.

"You're too perfect for _that_ Gigi." He murmured, caressing the hair that fell onto her pillow.

She was too strong, too courageous, too talented, too independent, and too beautiful. What was all that in front of his pathetic engagement ring? What was the world in front of her at all? If she wanted to, Gage could stretch out her hands and grab this world with her perfectly manicured red nails and still not give a damn. That Gage didn't need him in her life, but the one he'd seen tonight sure did.

"Oh Gigi...I am so sorry." He murmured.

That night, John put his hands together, putting all his manliness aside, and prayed for Gage; begging the angels who would dare listen.

"_Lord, please her know happiness. Let her smile, and laugh, and giggle and sing and dance. Let her find someone who'll love her, and show her respect, and cure her vices. Now I know she's no angel- not at all- but she deserves someone to fight for her. At least let me give her that. Amen._"

A tear had escaped that night, and when the lamplight was off, several others followed, and silently wet a pillow. A secret prayer was also made after John's.

"_Lord, forgive me, for corrupting this married man and please give me the courage to walk away before it is too late."_

°0°°

**A/N:**** Again, I am sorry for taking decades, but I had tons of work. I had a philosophy course and if my writing's changed a bit, it must be why. I thank you for your reviews and more exciting stuff is coming in the next chapter. Xx MJ**


	25. Chapter 25

**J****E T'AIME**

**A/N:**** Louise Attaque- Arraches-moi**

It would not take a bit of her might she convinced herself. She had done this all her life, and she would keep doing it again; she met men, she used them- and let them use her too- then she left them.

"What do you want to eat tonight? I'm the mood for Sushi, Japanese may be?"

"Sushi will do then."

John drove besides her, and she looked out the window thinking of what she would tell him and how she would tell him. It gave her a migraine, and cold sweat to think of his reaction, but if she did not, she knew there was a lot more to loose for both of them. Goosebumps spread all over her skin as she imagined all the possible scenarios; the worst being the one where he blamed her for seducing him in the first place- no, that one happened in all the scenarios- the worst would be if he asked her to stay, because she knew she would have tonight get cruel, and John did not deserve that. She rubbed her arms lightly as they stopped at a red light.

"Wait." He said then he grabbed one of his sweaters, pulled down the zipper, and put it around her shoulders.

"Oh! You didn't have to."

"It's alright." He smiled warmly. A big lump formed in her throat as he smiled at her, and she shrugged the sweater on.

"Thank you John, thank you so much…" she breathed. It was pouring as they drove into Philadelphia. They had spent the weekend in Maine and they had done the craziest things amongst which, dancing Tango all night in the middle of Maine Street, with no music except John's pathetic imitation of Carlos Santana and her two left feet in the snow. A hobo stopped by and thought they were newlyweds and began screaming 'Congratulations!" and threw snow at them in place of flowers. To thank him, John gave him a fifty-dollar bill, and he carried her on his back while they sung Dans Le Port D'Amsterdam a song by Belgium singer, Jacques Brel, in which he described a port in her native city. Surprisingly, John knew the song word for word but he had no clue what he was saying, and his French, though a little gauche sounded adorable.

"You're thinking about the other night again huh?"

"How d'you know?"

"That's the smile you have when you make fun of me; my French right?" he chuckled.

"Indeed, your French. You should speak French every day."

"Not if you're making fun of me. Not everyone is Miss I-speak-four languages."

"Three, I only know how to say 'more' and 'no thanks' in Italian."

"I don't wanna know how you learned that." He chuckled.

"No you don't!" she laughed.

John's phone rang, and she stopped laughing. He took it out of his pocket and picked up.

"Hey baby." He started. She put her earphones and listened to some music as he discussed with Liz. It had started making her uncomfortable to hear him speak to her, mostly because her phone calls interrupted the good humor, the laughter, and sometimes sex. It was hard to come back to reality after that, especially for John, because it was harder to cheer him up after he'd heard his lovely wife telling him she loved him then fucking her right after.

Gage had made up her mind. It was their last night together, tomorrow morning, she would tell him she had to go back to Florida for work, and that would be the end of it. John was kind, funny, witty, attentive, and he had that bit of mystery that intrigued her, and poor woman that she was. She had seen a doctor for her sleeping problems, and then she was directed to a psychologist; because somehow her lack of sleep originated from something going wrong in her subconscious. All the Freud talk bored her to tears; and she finally accepted to see him and she had an appointment with the man today. They arrived at their hotel, and John carried her luggage.

"Have you ever been to a shrink before?" she asked John.

"We see one twice every month. Since the Chris Benoit incident, Vince makes sure no one gets close to the red line."

"In this case, it is justified. The man _did_ kill his own kids." She replied as they unpacked their things. She had gotten to know a lot of things about John; he had even let her come with him at the arena before his co-workers came in flooding. She'd watched him work out from the other end of the gym, watched the show from his lodge, discreetly accompanied him to a signing, and on a set to shoot a commercial. There were dozen people that accompanied him to his public appearances, all she had to do was have a 'staff' badge around her neck and melt into the crowd.

'No one knows what happened in that house. Questions are still raised, and I didn't know Chris very much at the time, but he was anything but a murderer. ' John replied.

« I guess i'll find out if I'm a psychopath in about an hour. » Gage said looking down at her watch.

That wouldn't surprise me very much. I mean you do lock yourself up in 90° heat for _inspiration_. » he chuckled.

« You can't understand the mind of an artist. No one understood Van Gogh. »

« I'll never understand a guy who cuts his left ear off, that's for sure. »

« Oh! Tell me more about all the things you experienced while you were in the 18th century John. I'm all ears. »

John himself had done some homework, and the painters that influenced Gage; from Van Gogh to Cézanne, through Pollock or Doronin, he'd listened to every late night monologue Gage recited before falling asleep. She spoke in a low masculine voice like in her mind surprised her as it wondered through her souvenirs. She told him tales about her favorite painters, that she would not consider herself a true artist, perhaps because she had known success and fame while she was still alive and well. He discovered a great deal about her. Small insignificant details, things with no consequence, nothing that betrayed her real secrets.

They arrived at the Loews Hotel, right in the city center of the city of Brotherly Love. They repeated their discretion ritual; she booked another room with the same name; Heather Field and went up to her room before he joined her or vice versa.

_Time to see shrink, I'm leaving the hotel, see you later._ She sent the text to John before heading out.

Parquet floor, light green walls, and flower pots at each corner of the room. While she paced the room, Gage eyed the place pessimistically, wondering if someone with such lack of taste in design could help her with sleep problems. She remained calm, hands on her crossed legs until the door opened and two men came out.

« Don't be afraid to give this a try Damien, don't fear a little pain…happiness could be on the other side. »

« Yes doctor, thank you doctor. »

« I'm still here if you need me. Have a good day. »

« Thank you very much. »

Her eyes rolled to the back of her head. The amount of money shrinks charged patients only to give hypothetical, broad, and cliché advice they would never follow.

« Miss Jansen? »

She stood up and shook her head yes.

« I'm doctor Feldman, but you can call me Hans. Please come in. »

She entered the barely lit room. The blinds were half drawn, and the furniture looked it was made from dark mahogany, and a smell of mint floated around the room. Perhaps another one of those _relaxation_ techniques scents. She sat on the sofa he pointed to her while he sat in a chair right across from her.

« How are you today Miss Jansen? »

« Look, doc. I only have trouble finding sleep, if we could cut this out and you'd tell me what sleeping pill I can take, that would be wonderful. »

« Of course, I'd like to have a little chat before I prescribe anything. To know which _one_ you should have. »

« Okay. Well, you might have guessed that I am a little tired. »

« Have you been practicing strenuous activities recently? »

« That depends on what you define as _strenuous_. » she chuckled.

« Have you travelled? Do you have a night job? Or practice any sport? »

« I have been doing all those. »

« How come you don't find sleep then? »

« I was hoping you'd tell me. » she chuckled.

« Well I'll need a lot of information since we do not have much time. »

« Okay. » She inhaled deeply and decided to take a leap of faith. Gage uncrossed her legs, and put her hands on her needs, like she was about to make a confession. But it _was_ a confession; with the exception of Nicholas, no one knew about her affair with John and there was also the big-eyed, and colorful Mr Barns, but as he had reached a certain age, the majority would think he was senile. This left her no other option than Dr Feldman.

« I'm having an affair with a married man. » she started.

« Alright, does he live in Philadelphia?»

« Not at all, we live in Florida actually. He's been traveling around the country for business. »

« What is his name? Or what name can we use for him? »

« We can call him _Jay_. »

« Alright, so how would you describe your relationship with Jay? »

« It's not a _relationship_ and there isn't much to say about it. We simply fulfill each other's needs. That is all. » she began tangling and untangling her fingers in her lap, and through the window, she found herself staring distractedly at the ombre orange waves in the sky.

« I see. What needs? »

« Doc, you must know what kind of needs take a married man away from his household. »

« You're right miss Jansen. » he smiled. « And how do _you_ feel about your _affair_ with Jay? »

« I just said it. »

« Let me say this differently; what needs bring _you_ to Jay? »

« The same ones that bring him to me. »

« And that is all? »

« Yes. »

« Is this the first time you have an affair with a man like Jay? »

« Yes. » she replied quickly before she processed the question differently. « I mean no. »

« Do you mean you have dated other men like Jay or that you have had other affairs of this kind before? »

« Yes, I have been a home-wrecker before. » she sighed.

« I wouldn't allow myself to use such terminology. »

« But that is what you think. »

« Me being your Doc and you being my patient, professional ethics restrict me from being judgmental. But why do you call yourself a home-wrecker? After all, you are nothing but a woman and the men you…_encounter_ are all aware and adult. »

« I don't know, I guess it's become a habit. »

« Tell me more about Jay; how long have you been seeing each other? »

« I moved to the States eight months ago, and Jo-Jay and I…three months I think. »

« Had you known him long before that? »

« Not really, we're neighbors so there is the effect of proximity. »

« I see. »

Dr Feldman was a left-handed, middle-aged -more late 30s- man, and he too, like Jay…John had a gold ring on his finger. He wore glasses that appeared as a barrier to his dark blue eyes and around his mouth was a week's beard which he scratched with the round tip of his pen.

How did you and Jay become intimate? » he said while one his eyebrow slightly raised. It was a tough question, and Gage could not quite find the answers. Things simply evolved between her and John at the speed of light. One moment they were complete strangers, the next one, they were dining on a skyscraper in Las Vegas. Things had gotten out of hand; too quick.

« We…fooled around for a while; testing the temperature, trying to warm up to each other's company at first. Because Jay was reluctant to have an explicitly sexual relationship. »

« Did _you_ want an _explicitly_ sexual relationship? »

« That's all I ever knew. »

There was a pause. Doc Feldman took this time to write down a few notes and scratch the tip of his pen on his chin again. Gage observed as his mind vamped around the words he had written down, as if eager to know the verdict to her trial.

« Luckily for us, you're my last appointment of the day. »

« Why lucky? »

« Because, I think your lack of sleep is simply a physical outcome of an emotional malfunction. »

« Pray tell. »

« I think you are anxious. You are frightened…or let me use another word; _disturbed_ by the possibility that your affair with Jay might lead to more; to _feelings_. You have had no prior experience with such things, and you don't know how to handle it. You and Jay seem to have very busy lives, yet you accompanied him on his business trip. Perhaps Miss Jansen, your needs are more than just physical and you need to reconsider your position _vis-a-vis_ Jay; you're left with a dilemma. »

« Which is… »

« To leave or Not to leave. »

Gage's face remained impassive with the explanations of the man. She had realized those things before arriving into Philadelphia, but it helped to hear the words come from someone else's mouth. She crossed her legs again and looked at Dr Feldman.

« So…what should I do Doc? » she sighed.

« I cannot decide that for you. » He said, taking off his glasses and cleaning them with a handkerchief.

I'm going to end it. »

« Why should you? »

« Because…things are getting too confusing. He is married. »

« Just like the others. »

« But John is _not_ like the others! » She unconsciously balled her hands into fists and hit them against her knees.

« Miss Jansen; why don't you give yourself some more time? A few days perhaps? »

« I can't doc, I haven't had more than 30 minutes of sleep since 5 days. »

« I'll give you a prescription for some Diphenhydramine, but I think you don't need sleeping tablets. »

« Again, pray tell; I'm all ears. »

« Though some things are still unclear, I think Jay is the root of your anxiety, and the more you think about it, the more it gets confusing. For your own good, I suggest you keep some distance between the two of you for a while; at least until you figure out your next move. »

« Alright. How is that supposed to help? » she frowned.

« Out of sight, out of mind. It'll help you get some sleep again. »

« What if it doesn't work? »

« You can still come back, I'll be glad to work on your case or you can also call me. » he said as they both stood up and walked back to the door.

« Any time? » she smiled seductively in front of the door.

« Only during working hours. After that, all you get is a grumpy divorcee patting his cat. » he chuckled. He opened the door for her and suddenly she was overwhelmed by an unfamiliar warmth. Dr Feldman handed her his card, with his office number neatly typed and his personal cell number hastily written in pen.

« Thanks doc. » she smiled, leaving a kiss on his cheek.

« My pleasure Miss Jansen. Be careful, and don't forget to get some rest. » he said, but Gage walked away.

—-

On her way back home…or better yet the hotel. Gage tried to get her mind off John as much as she could. She took a taxi to the nearest mall, bought an ice-cream and did some quality shopping. Unexpectedly, it had been easy…for the first two hours, but the two hours is already good she thought. She cruised through the shops, feeling completely relaxed; then she entered a lingerie store and immediately all sorts of thoughts pervaded her mind. Mesh, satin, silk, she wanted it all; but she thought of whom she would wear it for; after John.

She thought of Nicholas and the kind words he bid her. It would take her some time to find another man after John; but change takes time to get used to. She thought of Céline; Nicholas's muse. A woman had never looked so desperate; she was after him the whole night…like a 'winning horse of the Kentucky Derby'. She smiled at one of those typically American expression; she heard John say it a lot when he talked about the women he worked with. But what the hell is a Kentucky Derby?

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she took it out.

_Johnny_

She picked up.

« Hey beautiful! »

« Hey. » she replied; he sounded out-of-breath, like he'd been running.

« So, how did it go? With the shrink. Are you nuts? »

« Well, not yet. It seems all I need is some rest. He gave me some pills. »

« Oh…I'm sorry. I wouldn't have asked you to come with me if I knew it was going to mess you up. »

« Oh please, cut out the crap. I have stamina! Just not as much as you do. »

« You sure? Cuz I'm not up speaking french around you anytime, and dancing under the snow in chuck tailors, _or_ giving hobos the money I so hardly earned. »

« Don't be so greedy. You could be that hobo. »

« What' are you doing now though? Tonight's pay-per-view so I'll come in late. » He said, sounding like a door shut behind him.

« I'll get dinner and try to catch some sleep then. » She said, trying to sound normal, and hoping it slips.

« I thought you'd want to sneak in, and hang out. It's our last week, after that you can get to rest all you want. But since you _need_ to… »

« Do you hear yourself? » she chuckled. « It's nice to see someone worries about my health! »

« I honestly didn't think it was that bad. »

« I'm just messing with you. Go get ready big star, you have a crowd to make love to. »

« If they're half as good as you, I have no problem. »

« Go now, I'll see you tomorrow. »

« See ya. »

It was only after an hour and a half of pacing the room quietly that Gage took herself to bed. The pain of lack of sleep had now vanished, and her stomached twisted with anxiety. How was she to leave? How was she to say goodbye so quickly and to act like nothing had ever happened? After bringing him this far, would that not make her a monster to push John off the cliff?

There is a common dilemma that accompanies sentiments of love; a common risk we are often exposed to. Do you abandon yourself in it; in spite of all the consequences? Or jump then hope for the best.

Gage looked through her window while she sucked on her cigarette. The cloud of smoke dispersed quickly as the wind blew through it she thought her and John resembled that cloud of smoke; ethereal, volatile, _weak_. She ignored where the cigarettes came from, but they were a pack of Marlboro Classics; they had probably taken them while in Maine. The feeling was sickening but the smoking soothed her stomach aches, she then proceeded to order drinks from the room service.

« I guess this deserves a toast. »

And quite a lonely toast it was. She sat down on her bed and examined the last two months of her life and not a moment was spent without John. Her biggest fear was not going to back to nothingness; she was busy enough with her professional life. No, what she feared was John's reaction. At best, he would hate her and never want to see her again that or he would plea, beg her not to end their relationship. _Relationship_. She had taught him better; not to beg, to be weak but John…John is always full of surprises.

While lazily drinking down her of bottle of Jameson, she pondered and pondered, never finding the answer. Finally, she checked the time on her watch, and John should have gotten back from the show, so she went to his room. She knocked on the door lightly and silently prayed he was there, because she was barefoot and anyone with clear vision could noticed her balanced shifted sideways.

« Who's that? »

« T'is an angel darling. » she replied, and the door opened instantly. John turned the lights on.

« I thought you were getting some rest tonight! » He said, he had a towel around his shoulders.

« Well, I have something to tell you. Sit, please.» she said and he sat on the edge of the bed besides her. Gage did not need to clear her mind, she had practiced in front of her mirror, retained the words, and rehearsed her facial expression before coming.

« John, there's something very important that I need to tell you. » she paused. She tried to look at him, but her gaze did not stay on his face.

« Will I be needing any of that? » he asked. She nodded and handed him the bottle. He took a long gulp and shook his head. It reminded her the first time he'd come to her house.

« I wish I'd taken something better for our last drink.»

His eyebrows furrowed.

« John, I don't think we should-'

« Stop. » He interrupted.

« I really think I should finish my sentence though. »

« No you don't. I know what you're going to say. I'm not that stupid Gigi, you haven't been talking to me in days. » John put down the bottle at the foot of the bed and turned to her.

« You can't do this anymore. »

« Yes, I can't. » she replied.

« Then we're done, whatever this was. It is over. »

His blue eyes…that ocean of truth looked into her once again and for once she could not look away. The room was hot suddenly; she could feel the heat climbing her neck, and into her ear then on her face. She had somehow sobered up in an incredibly short time lapse. She zoned out for a while, until John called her back.

« Hey. » He shook her hand.

« Yeah… » she took her hand out of his. « I did not think it would go so smoothly. Honestly, I thought you would…but it's all _good_. »

« So this is it? »

« Yeah, I guess. »

« Unless you have anything else you'd like to tell me. » There was a pause, and she looked up. He looked expectantly at her, his gaze forcing her mouth to spill out words she had no intention of uttering.

« I guess so. I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon. You don't need to worry about anything, I booked a flight already. » Gage looked away and stood from the edge of the bed.

«…Fine. I'll tell you good night then. » He replied coldly.

« _Okay_…I'll see you tomorrow morning? Or you and…_Liz_ can grab coffee when you come back…I don't know…whatever suits you.'

She exhaled heavily, and walked to the door. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, and her face blushed something she suspected was anger. She did not quite understand what had just happened; and what had happened…She hadn't expected it to happen that way. She'd hoped for a last…ride to heaven with John…just one last time to feel him inside her, to hear him groan beneath her and calling her name.

« Gigi » he called up. She turned around, as he made giant steps to her. He grabbed her by the waist, put his hand on her neck and his lips were not hers before her eyes could close. Their kiss was heated, but when were they not? He wrapped his arm around her side to pull her closer to him and his hand -quite unconsciously- held her neck tighter than necessary.

« Why wouldn't you say it Gigi? » he murmured as he pulled away momentarily. His warm lips caught her lower lip and tugged it, then his tongue went for hers and his hand never left her neck. John pulled back again.

"Say it Gigi… " He looked down at her expectantly before his mouth went to her neck.

« Gigi… »

« John, I-I can't! » She moaned and he stopped.

« You _can_, you just wouldn't want to give me so much satisfaction. »

« It's not my call John. »

« Then _WHOSE_ is it? » He hissed, his fist hitting the door behind them.

John…you have a wife, and a life. You're not like me, what do I get to tell you what you'd like to hear? »

« Me. »

During a brief second of weakness, she looked up to him, into his blue eyes…the ocean of truth. She travelled in time, and imagined an entire lifetime with John. He would leave Liz, and they would live together…she would be that housewife to wait for him to come back from work. She imagined a child…two children, a boy and a girl, with John's eyes and hopefully his smile. Was she really made for all this? Could she promise John to be the only man in her life? Unanswered questions ran through her head as she weighted her words.

« Gage, I love you. » He paused. « Tell me you love me too. »

**A/N :**** Life…has caught up with me people. I apologize for the long, long, long wait but this bitch had lost her love for writing. Heartbreak, Studies, and too much shit to put up with. I thank you for welcoming me back, and I hope you like this chapter. **

**Ps : Aruodo99, girl ! Do your thing, I can't wait to read you ;)**


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